Who Needs an Intro?

Y'all know me, I know y'all...let's kick this thing off.

Game 3 between Legionnaire and Kakarotto is a long...LONG...LE-ONG game. (Actually, it's only an hour but I need an excuse for myself.) So, being burned out on gosu gaming for a while, I decided to try something different.

That leaves the question of what to do. It came to me quickly, though, as I decided on doing a report on a nohunters ffa.

What this means for you is a painfully long introduction, a game with a very obvious outcome (one of the people playing wins), more stars than a starless sky, total personal bias, and free porn!! Ok, so there's no porn, but there are pictures of scantily clad units of all races and nationalities!

Pre-Game

Myself, ling, wakiki, and demonic_bunny had just come out of an ffa where ling used his oh so witty Danish homosexual charm to cheat his way to victory. Not that I'm bitter, you understand.

ZerG~LinG: No, I didn't surrender.
wakiki: But you said you did and I gave you vis.
ZerG~LinG: Yeah, but I didn't surrender.
maareek: Cheating bastard...:p
ZerG~LinG: =]

And I thought Aqua was the gayest thing to come out of Denmark. We all find ourselves in good old nh with 6 or 7 other people in there already. And only 2 of them were afk (I know it sounds impossible, but I swear on my reputation as a mediocre reporter). 8 un-afk people in nh? You know what that means.

Aedile: So what should we do? 2v2, 3v3?
demonic_bunny: ffa!
maareek: yeah, ffa!
wakiki: sounds good.
Aedile: FFA is fine by me.
maareek: Somebody make!

After much confusion on the game creator's part (wakiki), 6 players finally make their way to the Green Valleys. Before we talk about the map, let's get acquainted with the players.

The Players

wakiki makes maps. He also has a name that purposely misspells a great vacation spot. On top of all that, he comments on my old reports so there's much <3 there (check's in the mail, man). Chose terran this game.

demonic_bunny is...um...erm...hmm...well, he claims he doesn't read reports cuz it's gay, so I won't say anything about him :). Except that he enjoys coming into nh and talking about gaiety. If he could be any type of fly it would a be a fruit. Chose zerg this game.

Aedile is an ffa specialist...supposedly. Claims to be poor in large flamboyant versions, and you can't get more flamboyant than nh can ya? Randomed to Terran.

KidMoe is a friend of Aedile's. Isn't that enough? He also shares part of his name with a Simpsons character, so he must be cool, right? I think he picked protoss.

ZerG~LinG defines gayness in an ffa. An accomplished reporter and rater, he's commenly mistaken for an advertising agent for Mac computers. In these ffa's he fears me, with good reason, because I always cause him problems. I always manage to get gum on the bottom of his shoe while he walks all over me. Picked Protoss instead of his usual ffa race, Terran - He loves the mass gols.

maareek is me for those of you who may be just a little bit slow. I'm, of course, the obvious favorite. Unlike most of my games, these brave players elect to play instead of turbo-concede. I went my usual race, random - and it is a race for you newbs who wanna whine about it ;p. Of course, that favorite stuff is all bull. I'm probably the worst player in the game, the mere mention of my name makes even decent players laugh with pity.

Green Valleys

Now that we have met the players, let's meet the battlefield. Instead of telling you about this fairly difficult to describe map, I will just put in a picture of it.

Starting Off

Well, I warp in my red nexus at the middle right position. Toss being my best ffa race, I was feeling pretty good until I heard complaints from everybody's favorite Dane.

ZerG~LinG: Feck, I can't cannon rush on this map. It's huge!
All: LOL
ZerG~LinG: I should have picked terran.

I've been cannon rushed by the bastard before, and I begin to get the feeling he might be my neighbor, knowing my luck. Wanting flexibility, I go 8 pylon, 11/12 double gate, and send out a scouting probe after beginning an assimilator on 12. On his way out, he spots a purple version of his brethren on his way in. After checking the ally screen to see who it is (even though I know already), I begin a zealot in my completed gateway, I ain't gettin cannon rushed damnit!

Ling's probe runs around in my base, then tries to sneak into the left portion of my base. Unfortunately for him, I have a completed zealot heading that way who finds the probe with a half-completed pylon, which is canceled. He attempts to run it even farther away and try again, but is foiled yet again.

ZerG~LinG: Damnit, maar.
You ruined my plan
maareek: Good :p
ZerG~LinG: =[

I chase the little robotic bastard all the way out past my choke point and add a pair of pylons and a cybernetics core. About this time my probe arrives in Ling's base, which is just below mine. I see a gateway, core, forge, and nearly warped in cannon with my probe before running from a very rude purple probe.

What About Everybody Else?

wakiki

1. 9 depot
   
2. 9 rax
   
3. 10 refinery
   
4. 13 sends scv out to scout
   
5. 17 depot
   
6. 18 factory
   
   

---

demonic_bunny

1. sends out overlord scout
   
2. 9 overlord
   
3. 12 natural hatch
   
4. 11 pool
   
5. 10 extractor
   
6. 16 lair
   
7. 17 overlord


8. 17 extractor
   

---

Aedile

1. 9 depot (should somebody tell the two terrans that depot should be on 8? :p)
   
2. 11 refinery...
   
3. 15 Command Center-- wtf? Somebody has more balls than brains...
   
4. 16 scv scout
   
5. 18 CC-- I guess real men use cc's for supply.
   
6. 18 rax
   

---

KidMoe

1. 8 pylon
   
2. 11 assimilator
   
3. 12 probe scout
   
4. 13 gate
   
5. 16 pylon
   
6. 17 core
   
7. 20 robotics facility
   
8. 21 forge
   
9. 22 stargate
   

---

ZerG~LinG

1. 8 pylon
   
2. 10 gate
   
3. 11 probe scout
   
4. 14 assimilator
   
5. 14 pylon (first one in my base)
   
6. 14 forge
   
7. 15 core
   
8. 15 pylon (second one in my base)
   
9. 17 pylon
   
10. 17 cannon
    
11. 17 zealot
    

Now What?

Aedile floats his completed cc to the mineral only above his main and begins yet another cc. He still has not sent out a scout, preferring instead to let information come to him (I suppose he's screwed since I've never seen so much expanding early on survive in the cheese spectacular that all ffa's with ling become).

wakiki on the other hand, begins a machine shop on his first factory and begins another. He also sends 2 marines and an scv to his natural and begins an expansion there. He's also already scouted the top spot and is now headed to the top right...some people get the cushy starting positions.

bunny is focusing on heavy teching with a spire being put down and only 4 lings making. He has an overlord hovering over the high ground between the top starting position and wakiki and another currently on the way to Aedile, which is en route to pass over the new white expansion on the way.

KidMoe has put down another pylon, 2 cannons, and is producing a dragoon as well as sending out a second scouting probe. His first one has already reached white and seen all he needs to see and is now heading out quickly and quietly.

You know, I used to give ling credit for being at least somewhat strategic in his play, but recently he has shown me that he is in fact a bigger cheesehead than those shirtless dudes at Packers' games (shut up, I know it sucked!). In case you needed more proof than his attempted cannon rush I present to you a pylon, cannon, and 2 stargates warping in. Yep, that's right two stargates and I wonder what he's going to do with them...bastard! His scouting probe has already seen brown's base and is headed towards white, while his second probe (the one that was chasing my probe [remember me? I'm playing in this game, too]) is on his way into brown's base.

Speaking of me, let's see what I'm doing. I'm currently playing poorly (surprise!) but I am adding in a robotics facility with 3 zealots hanging around for appearances sake. Most of my attention is on my poor probe who's being tailed by that afore mentioned purple cousin. Shortly after reaching brown's base ling brings his probe back and I also take off after being shot at by a dragoon and cannon(typically is a good time to leave).

Expansions Anyone?

Aedile's scouting scv finds orange's natural and begins attacking the hatchery there (shows you how well I pay attention, last I knew he hadn't scouted...and you're actually reading my report hah!). He's also began floating his second completed cc to the high ground between himself and KidMoe. Possibly knowing I would report this, and wanting to drive me crazy, monsieur white begins a factory next to that same ledge, which I assume is meant to fly up there.

KidMoe is currently upgrading ground weapons, building a scout, and pumping out peons like an amish woman pops out babies (apologies to any amish women reading this ^^).

Ling, that master of gayness (it's no coincidence he drew purple...), is producing 2 scouts as well as warping in a pylon and nexus at his natural.

wakiki's expansion CC is finished and he's beginning to produce scvs out of it (guess he never heard of that move maynard and the dude named after it) he also puts down a bunker there, not at his cc, not at his choke, but at the opening at his natural. Guess he never read about Mark4 or Heartcutter-like building placement, either. On a brighter note, he has already finished siege research and is producing his first tank.

Aedile, who will now be referred to as Mr.Expansion, finally begins producing scvs at his first expansion at roughly the same time as an orange overlord passes overhead, causing him to begin a barracks there. He builds a bunker at his main (placed correctly, in between his CC and his minerals near his geyser) and begins filling it with marines pumping out of his single barracks. His third CC finishes and he floats in onto the high ground at the bottom left.

Bunny Luv

bunny gave his plan away when we were in the join game screen.

demonic_bunny: This is such a muta map.
maareek: Is it now?
wakiki: Oh well
demonic_bunny: Alright, but don't bitch to me when you lose to muta.

Interestingly enough, bunny is actually putting his spire to use by morphing 6 mutas proving that he really believes in mutas owning the map.

Do People Attack In These Things?

Aedile fills his bunker with 3 marines and lifts his barracks to fly off to parts unknown.

bunny's mutas finally finish and the first three travel to white's expansion with the other 3 trailing close behind. They quickly remove 3 scvs all of which were constructing. The e-bay finishes just before its worker is eliminated and is instantly lifted off. The barely even begun bunker is left standing while one of the two remaining scvs begin constructing a turret and the other attempts to finish the barracks (which is around 900 at this point) while the mutas chase down the e-bay.

Another scv finishes at the same time the mutas turn on the scv building the turret, they return to the e-bay and the scv begins a turret on the opposite side. After the e-bay falls, the mutas return and finish off the scvs causing Aedile to lift off and run, cancelling all his under-construction buildings.

Insert Title Here

Before attacking with his mutas, bunny began upgrading air attack, morphing in a hatchery beside the one at his natural, and putting down an evolution chamber below his spire.

Meanwhile, wakiki has floated his second factory onto the ledge above his main adding a machine shop as soon as it lands, and is pumping tanks out of his other factory sending them to his bunker at his natural. On top of all that, he's running the probe I had scooted to my natural to take an expansion back into my main.

KidMoe believes in the power of the turtle...or at least he plays like he does. He has warped in his buildings in a circle around his nexus, including now a third cannon warping in beside his nexus. His scout has finished and is being sent towards white, I'd really love it if he did The Stove in an ffa. But, to prove that he's trying to throw everybody off his trail, he's warping in a shuttle and another dragoon (bringing his total to 2).

Since we last saw ling, he's added a cannon at his natural along with 2 zealots, began warping in a fleet beacon, checking the high ground around his main for expos, and producing a third scout. Great, ling is taking a page out of Decay's book, and I have to say I don't like it.

And, of course, that brings us to me...*sigh*. Is there any way I can pretend that I didn't play in this game? So, I lost my scouting probe to a drunk white peon. My probe that was setting up an expansion got run off by a yellow scv who quickly gets an assful of goon-fire and dies (which is what happens when you get an assful of explosives). On a lighter note, I'm pumping out observers with most of the ground tech researched. I put out a few more goons and start upgrading their range upgrade. My plan for this game is to get the full spectrum of ground units with reavers and templars while attempting to avoid confrontation as much as possible. Unfortunately, I'm next door to ling and he don't play that game (I'm telling you he fears me).

Mr. Expansion (if you don't know who that is you don't pay attention and need to leave :p) floats his barracks and factory from his main onto the high ground between himself and brown. He also begins producing scvs at the expansion he has there, and begins another factory at his main.

Section Titles...Great for Readers, Bad for Writers

With that little obstructive scv gone, I move my forces past my natural and warp in a nexus there. I then begin a shuttle to start taking some high-ground expansions, since I will be needing gas. I also toy with my opponents a bit.

maareek: I'm going for the 8 probe drop.
Y'all scared? We got any YRM's in here?
Aedile: I am

KidMoe's second scout is over 3/4 of the way finished as is his ground weapons upgrade. He's also warping in a citadel of adun beside his cyber core. His first scout is laying the smack down on white's floating factory (as much smack as a single scout can lay down on a factory). After the factory is brought into the yellow, Aedile lands it and begins a vulture in it. For reasons beyond my knowledge, KidMoe is sending a dragoon and a probe down the trail to white's base.

Bunny Shares the Wub

Following his success at white's first expansion, bunny continues on to Aedile's main. He comes in over the peon line, taking fire from the bunker. With all the scvs in the way, taking on the bunker isn't a great idea so bunny does something absolutely brilliant. He moves his mutas behind the minerals and holds position, denying minerals to white.

After a second or two, bunny runs his mutas around to hit the white refinery, but comes into range of the bunker yet again. He then ran around the base taking out scvs where possible and an armory while he was at it. During this time, the scvs have gone back to mining and bunny turns his mutas on the bunker which falls quickly. With the bunker and marines gone, there's nothing left in Aedile's main that can stop the rampaging mutas.

Not content with eliminating just the two bases, Mr. Muta heads for the newly warped in brown base at white's natural. Despite 5 cannons, the 3 control groups or so of mutas destroy the base quickly and easily.

You know, bunny might just be proving his point about this map. His mutas are now working on demolishing Aedile's last working base, ripping through the 4 turret/1 full bunker defense and laying waste to the buildings there.

Haha, you guessed it! Once he finishes off white's base, he continues on to brown's main, taking out a scout, 6 cannons, a dragoon, and all of the probes there (which numbered somewhere around 345352345). Unfortunately for bunny, but fortunately for everybody else, he lost all but 2 of his mutas in the attack bringing an end to the reign of fluffy terror.

Meanwhile, in the Rest of the Valley...

I'm warping in two more gateways, upgrading observer and shuttle speed, and putting observers on the ledge between me and ling and one on the ledge above my main. While I'm at it, I load a probe up in a shuttle so I can expand...once I find one.

Good old reliable cheesehead is working on, what else?, expanding his own little cheesedom. How do you go about expanding a cheesedom you ask? By producing scouts out the ass, well actually out of stargates but you get my drift. He currently has four flying around, with two more building, and air weapons upgrading. And I always thought the cheese was supposed to be used on the danish.

KidMoe, that moeer of kids (err...that one sucked), begins researching dragoon range upgrade as well as taking a goon and probe onto the high ground above his main and begins warping in a pair of cannons overlooking his nexus. His first scout and the goon that accompanied the probe down white's natural begin taking out the factory that white landed, dealing with the two vultures that pop out fairly easily. He also warps in a nexus at Aedile's natural as the white CC from the first high ground expansion floats overhead.

Mr. Hawaii (k, so I'm really sucking with these at the moment, big deal!), aka wakiki, has finally shown why he put the bunker where he did. He places 3 tanks behind the bunker, sealing them off with 2 turrets and a supply depot. He's going FPM style (for those of you unfamiliar with FPM...you're lucky). While he's doing this, he's also adding in a starport at his main. Oh please God don't let him start tank dropping, no resource nodes will be safe.

As for Aedile, his main is currently being ripped apart (see above section) so he is focusing on rebuilding at his only other working expansion on the high ground between himself and brown. He's already built an e-bay and bunker along with the barracks he floated there. He's also working on building an armory to replace the one destroyed in his main...maybe looking for a little late-game mass goliath strategy.

White's Main has Now Fallen

demonic_bunny: Told you it was a muta map.
Aedile: Yeah, I believe you now.
wakiki: Mutas?
maareek: Is white out?
Aedile: Just about

KidMoe is warping in 5 cannons at white's expansion, taking out the now-landed white CC next to the expansion with 2 scouts and a dragoon. While he's at it he's also warping in a nexus at his own natural, and his main cannons are killing off white's scouting e-bay.

I finally find a high ground expansion. I drop off my probe at the mineral-only directly to the right of my natural. Taking it will give me the minerals to afford zealots to hold low ground expansions against terran metal attempts, cannons to hold off mutas and small to medium sized air assaults. That way, I can set up the expansions I need to hold out against large aerial attacks with my templar tech. Unfortunately, this expansion is relatively close to ling, meaning that if he has air units and finds me before I set up it may bring his army of cheese down on me wittle head. This is where you start feeling concerned for my safety, by the way.

Speaking of cheese, ling is warping in a robotics facility, still building scouts, and his upgrades for air attack and scout speed are nearly complete.

wakiki has put down double armories and begun upgrading both metal weapons and metal armor, which leads one to believe that he's going infantry, right? So maybe not, since his factory that he floated on top of the high ground has put out 3 tanks which are headed south now, I suppose looking for something to kill. Of course, he switches now to Goliath production out of both of his factories...it's a sad day when people go around stealing ling's strat.

While Aedile's last expansion falls...

I double forge at my main, once my expo is set up I'm going to start seriously pumping out upgrades and troops. Of course, that damn Dane has to stick his scout in where it doesn't belong, finding my expansion with a nexus and 3 pylons warping in. He starts firing on the nexus but quickly turns on my probe, who I run around the base waiting for a pylon to finish. One finally finishes, but 7 more scouts come over the horizon about the time I was going to start cannons and I give up on the expo.

Its at this time that the cheeseman sent a chill down my spine.

 

 

ZerG~LinG: Kek

 

 

That's right, he "kek"ed at me. It's a scary sound coming from anyone, but even more so coming from a Dane. The Danish are known for their strength both in the understanding of the Korean language and in their Korean-like Brood War skills once they get started. I was content to expand in a different direction until I heard this, at which point I was instantly frozen. I thought about surrendering then and there but decided that I could come up with a much better solution.

maareek: fuzznuck
Aedile/wakiki: What happened?
ZerG~LinG: nothing
maareek: ling's going scouts

So, I change my plan. Actually, I lose all sense of having a plan and just pull stuff out my ass, which is usual enough that I tend to feel like I spent a night at mattz's after playing in an nh ffa.

Ling's 8 scouts make quick work of my expansion, while he upgrades air armor and scout sight range.

bunny sends a drone to take over Aedile's main as well as morphing a whole crapload of overlords, not wanting to have to deal with supply anytime soon.

wakiki scoots an scv up to 12 main and begins an expansion there. He also keeps up his goliath production at home and sends his high-ground tanks, goliaths and a single dropship with 2 scvs down the path to bunny.

Bunny's attack at Brown's Main Just Died

I start warping in cannons around my nexii as well as pumping dragoons out of my 4 gateways. For some reason, I have a fear of air units coming over my peon lines.

wakiki sets up a turbo newbie over bunny's natural. He uses his two scvs to set up a pair of turrets and begins moving up his 3 tanks and 4 goliaths. Unfortunately for him, bunny's 3 control group of mutas fly in, tell him "Screw vouz" (can mutas talk? oh, who the hell cares), and takes out 4 goliaths, a tank, both turrets, and a scv without losing a single muta. Muta map? um...maybe.

KidMoe warps in 2 cannons around the minerals at his main. He's also bringing in a second corsair with first level air weapon upgrades just coming online. He adds in another stargate and begins upgrading plasma shields. Why plasma shields? Because he has a Captain Kirk fetish, how the hell am I supposed to know? And it seems that Aedile and KidMoe decide to ally at this point.

I am currently warping in two more gateways and a citadel of adun. I'm pumping dragoons out of my four gateways as well as upgrading ground weapons and ground armor. I have one observer overlooking the natural above me, and one has been checking up on ling. The one checking on ling saw 17 scouts before finding a cannon. I then retreated him to ling's choke below my natural so I'll know of any attacks on my base before they happen...hopefully.

ling is warping in two pylons, 2 carriers, and another scout. As if that wasn't enough, he's also annexing two new colonies into his cheesedom, specifically the gas-only expansion in the bottom right and the mineral-only on the high ground above his natural. And yes, he is getting the interceptor capacity upgrade for his carriers, since we all know that the hot dogs just aren't as plump and juicy with only 4 interceptors.

Fear the Wrath of the demonic_bunny

Anybody else notice a pattern developing here? bunny is morphing a hive at his main, upgrading air carapace, and hatching three new mutas. But then, that's not much of a wrath is it? Ah, but the 36 or so mutas coming in over wakiki's main is. What defenses reside there? A single turret, which lasts about as long as my chances of a date with Halle Barry. As you might imagine, scvs start to drop, err explode, like flies until they retreat and reinforcements arrive. Those reinforcements are 6 range-upgraded goliaths who quickly get ripped err...wait. The huge group of mutas run away from the 6 goliaths for reasons that are far beyond me. In short, wtf was bunny thinking!?

Meanwhile, KidMoe is producing his fourth corsair, upgrading air armor, and is warping in a fleet beacon. Looks like carriers and gay-web...wonder-freaking-ful.

wakiki is returning to mining, researching marine range, and is building a pair of factories at his 12 main expansion. He's also pumping marines...out of a single barracks. If bunny pressed his attack, we would have an elimination.

bunny sends out 4 zerglings to the middle of the map. He then splits them up to go to 12 main, the main above me, my main, and ling's main. Honestly, who scouts in an ffa? After purple forces kill off his ling, bunny moves his mutas into the middle and then to ling's choke. He brings his mutas in over ling's natural, and takes out both cannons and 4 or 5 probes before being engaged by 16 scouts. Zerg boy sticks around until a couple of mutas pop and then hot wings it out of there.

ZerG~LinG: Have fun with those mutas
demonic_bunny: :(
maareek: lol

Yes, "lol" Does Exhaust Half my Vocabulary

Aedile, who has been silent, lands his last CC at the high ground mineral-only between his old main and brown and begins mining there. Of course, he still only has one attack unit and no money.

KidMoe is upgrading ground armor, air weapons, and carrier capacity as well as warping in an arbiter tribunal and a carrier.

King Cheddar has placed his entire fleet at his natural, save one just made carrier. He's also warping in two more carriers, which I'm sure he means to use only in the removal of critter infestation.

And the leader in supply, namely me, is warping in a few extra cannons around his gateways on account of the mutas. I'm also researching storm, upgrading ground weapons and armor, and producing dragoons and templars out of 7 gates. On top of that, I'm producing two reavers and a shuttle. But the most important thing is that the purple fleet has a red observer resting quietly in its midst. All this means that my ground domination plan is well underway and I have vision of the troops of the only person in position to attack me. Things are looking relatively good, despite the carriers.

bunny's mutas are now reaching his natural and he decides he needs more than just mutas to win this, and puts down a defiler mound and ultralisk cavern as well as two more evo chambers.

LOTM: Return of the Bunny

Muta Boy maynards a few drones to his expansion at white's old main and bring his mutas in over wakiki's main. The 5 scvs working quickly bite the dust and the mutas turn on the command center. They are soon engaged by 6 marines and 4 goliaths and the mutas run away towards the cliff above yellow's main.

They take out 2 goliaths and lose 2 of their number before heading off to 12 main. The mutas then take out the 3 goliaths there, then the 2 coming out of the factories. Back at home, bunny has produced 6 ultras, is upgrading ultra speed as well as defiler plague, ground carapace, and melee weapons. But, he retreats his mutas from the undefended 12 main when his expansion at white is assaulted by cliff cannons.

That's right, 2 pylons and 4 cannons sit atop the cliff at white's old main raining plasma down on the mining drones. KidMoe warped them in there after warping in an expansion at the gas-only expansion in the bottom left. He's also constructed an arbiter and a second carrier and warping in a third gateway at his main.

Meanwhile...

I morph my first four templar into archons, mainly because I want them as damage absorbers and for use if mutas come into play. I then fly a reaver down to outside ling's natural, looking to see whether or not he is combining his forces with ground units (I was scared to move an observer there because of cannons). The reaver takes out a pylon before being obliterated by the huge air force, including more carriers I hadn't seen yet, leaving me to believe he was going all air.

ling finally eclipses me in supply, keeping up his production of scouts from his 4 stargates. He also takes the mineral-only expansion that he had denied me earlier.

Knowing that my neighbor is going for a huge fleet, and that the nature of the map will work against my ground troops fighting air, I warp in 3 stargates and decide that corsairs may just give me the edge I need without taking up too much supply.

Current Situation

There is currently no dominant player. But there are two players in the lead, both with the chance of becoming the dominant player. ling is in the lead as far as position and force goes. I am in the lead as far as projected force and I am near enough in force to be competitive with ling. He currently has reached the end of expansions he can take without over extending himself or eliminating someone. I have all the room above me to expand to.

wakiki is poor in force and projected force, but he has cheap expansions available. Unfortunately, he is the neighbor of bunny (second in force behind ling) and myself (leader in projected force). He is not a threat currently.

bunny's mutas and ultras put him ahead of me in force because of mobility. His position is poor, however, since he has three neighbors even though KidMoe is the only one with the ability to fight him. If he can eliminate wakiki, he will be dangerous.

Aedile is building up from scratch and is not really a factor. The only thing he has going for him is his alliance with KidMoe.

And KidMoe is a neighbor of both ling and bunny which makes his position very dubious. He doesn't have the force to even fight off an attack, but attacking him will not aid anybody at this time. He's not currently a threat, but could become one shortly.

ling has the force to eliminate anyone except for me, which means that he has to stay put until something happens to me. With his expansions, though, he will soon become the dominant player unless something is done.

I have the option of expanding or fighting. If I spend money on expanding I run the risk of letting ling surpass me. If I attack, I run the risk of taking myself out of the game and making ling the dominate player. After some deliberation, I decide to risk it all on eliminating ling. It's a simple situation, if I win, I become the dominant player with half the map at my disposal. If I lose, I'm out of the game.

Somebody's Going Down

To facilitate my forces, I decide to get arbiter tech with stasis and cut ling's forces in the upcoming battle. I also throw in a fleet beacon for carriers after I win.

bunny is researching the upgrades for his zerglings and morphing a greater spire. His mutas engage the cannons above his expansion. They take out one of the cannons, but run from the remaining four.

Aedile has one of his last two factories with an add-on upgrading goliath range and producing goliaths. He's also building up his maximum supply and upgrading vehicle weapons.

KidMoe is warping in a second arbiter to go along with his two carriers and four corsairs. He moves his corsair over white's expansion in case muta boy comes back.

wakiki is trying another turbo newbie at bunny's natural. This time with 2 tanks, 2 scvs, and 9 marines. The scv builds a turret and bunker while the tanks siege up.

bunny of course doesn't appreciate this and brings his mutas and takes out the tanks before running back and morphing 8 of the 9 remaining into guardians. While he's at it, he also upgrades chitinous armor for his ultralisks.

ling moves his conquest time table up with 4 more carriers and adding in a templar archives. In other words, he going for arbiters too. It's a big ole gaytoss arbiter party...woo hoo.

KidMoe is researching stasis, warping in two more carriers, and taking an expansion at white's old natural.

I queue up my tenth corsair, two arbiters, research disruption web, and stasis. I also run out of minerals in my main, which in actuality is inconsequential at this point unlike other types of games.

bunny's guardians finish off the last portion of yellow's semi-successful turbo newbie and head towards wakiki's natural.

ling warps in a fleet beacon and begins the third tier of air weapons upgrades. He also moves his carrier over the cliff between his natural and mine, taking out my assimilator, a probe, and a corsair before being run off by combined cannon fire and corsairs.

Aedile flies his second factory over towards his expansion from brown's natural and he begins another CC though I have no idea where he plans to fly it to.

KidMoe's two carriers finish, giving him 4 with 2 arbiters and 4 corsairs. He also researches recall and starts three more cannons above orange's expansion that will be able to hit the extractor.

bunny's guardians make swift work of the CC at yellow's natural, then high-tail it out of there, fearing goliath reprisals no doubt. He also maynards another 10 or so drones down to his expansion for reasons completely unknown to me.

Purple Dane (yes, it did take me this long to come up with that pun) is warping in two more arbiters and another scout. He also begins researching recall, no doubt for nefarious plans dealing with poor little me.

Cannon Man, a.k.a. KidMoe, is warping in a pylon above bunny's main, no doubt looking to have the same effectiveness there as at the expansion. His three cannons at said expansion come in and start ripping up the extractor.

My stasis research comes through, and I begin upgrading arbiter batteries. I also fly my corsairs into the rear of ling's base (that sounds dirty) to check on his tech. I see his arbiter tribunal and 3 stargates before running away from 12 or so scouts.

wakiki sends the 5 goliaths left at his main towards his 12 main expansion. He also builds a factory and repairs the one there at said expansion. SCV production is dragging at both resource nodes, however.

KidMoe's probe that built the pylon over orange's main gets a faceful of acid spore from the guardians heading towards bunny's expansion. In response, KidMoe sends his carrier/arbiter force towards the guardians.

Aedile's CC finishes and he lifts it, no doubt having laid out a plan with his brown ally. He also begins researching first level vehicle armor and continues goliath producion out of his 2 factories. With 10 goliaths and a starport finishing, he may be able to fight his way back into this thing... maybe.

It's at this point that I decide it's time. My two arbiters have finished and I'm beginning to run low on minerals. I begin moving my ground forces to ling's choke point.

On the southwestern front, guardians have removed a pylon and 3 cannons when 4 corsairs come over the horizon. The carriers and arbiters proceed on to orange's expansion, leaving the corsairs to do their job.

The carriers begin tearing up maynarded drones while the guardians, who don't do well against sairs from some reason, head towards the expansion where creep colonies are forming. bunny turns his guardians though and, in a last valiant effort, takes out 4 more cannons before biting it. The expansion of course quickly bite the dust as creep colonies just plain suck un-morphed.

ling finally warps in an observatory and begins producing 2 observers and upgrading observer speed.

With his expansion now defunct (defunct zerg expansion? heartcutter? anyone?), bunny sends his 10 ultras to do some damage to wakiki. They are engaged by the full bunker and 4 pinned in tanks at yellow's natural choke.

At the exact same moment, I make my move. Unfortunately, I left about half of my force in my base because I screwed up my hotkeys. Foreboding? Hell no! My guys come in and take out the cannon and 2 zealot defense at ling's natural. About the time my zealots go after the probes, the scouts come in. Interceptors fly out, plasma spits out of asses, shields are hit, guns fire, it's a hell of a sight. Just then, my cloaked corsairs move in with my arbiters. My first move is to stasis some of the carriers, which I did damn well, getting all but one of them. My second stasis got both of his arbiters, leaving my corsairs and dragoons to battle 16 or so scouts.

My corsairs do a good job against the much larger group of scouts (roughly 9 against 12) despite a lack of upgrades and poor micro on my part. Three of the scouts survive the corsairs, leaving my 8 dragoons to face 5 scouts.

One scout survives, and I focus fire on the last un-stasised carrier with my 4 goons. I am making good progress, driving the carrier and scout away with armor in the red...until the shit hit the fan. Yep, stasis wears off and 7 fresh carriers say, "FU Nak'Nagala!" and kill my poor dragoons.

ZerG~LinG: My Carriers!
maareek: lol
Aedile: what happened?
ZerG~LinG: He stasised my carriers!
maareek: ^^

And with that, I concede defeat. Why, you ask? Because I don't know how many carriers it'll take to eliminate me...but I know how many ling's going to use. And I'm not one to go down with the ship if I can help it. I announce my surrender to much confusion to the other players.

maareek: gg
ZerG~LinG: gg
Aedile: You surrender?
demonic_bunny: Who's out?
ZerG~Ling: Purple
maareek: Yep, red just raped purple. Better be scared

Ain't misinformation grand?

Things heat up

Those ultralisks of bunny's made it through wakiki's defenses losing only three of their number. They quickly raze the infrastructure there, leading wakiki to run his CC away.

Aedile flies his CC to his old main and ferries his goliaths down via a single dropship. The eleven robotic warriors clear out the few remaining zerg buildings and units.

KidMoe takes his forces from bunny's expansion and moves them to fluffsters main. He begins pumping high templar out of his single gateway as well as making 2 arbiters and two more carriers.

The dominant player, a.k.a. the guy who eliminated me, is replacing his loses by queuing up 4 carriers. As much as it pains me, it looks like I have handed this game to ling.

wakikiis working on rebuilding his tech at his 12 expansion, he builds 2 armories and a supply depot, while his CC floats towards the gas-only expansion in the top left.

ling begins 4 more scouts, upgrading to second tier air armor, and upgrading arbiter energy. He's also preparing his crown as King of the Cheeseheads.

I'm out of the Game! :(

Aedile lands his CC at his old main and begins producing lots of scvs. He then begins a barracks and another CC, seeking to re-claim his nickname.

KidMoe takes his fleet back to the mineral-only expansion above white after eliminating bunny's main. He continues production of templar at home, morphs his first four into archons, upgrades arbiter energy and air armor. He then recalls his probes from his mined out natural onto the high ground expansion and sets up shop.

ling is upgrading plasma shields and warping in four more scouts. I smell a doom fleet brewing.

bunny moves his ultras out to the middle of the map, and sends a drone to the un-touched main above me. He then runs his ultras towards ling.

Gaytoss Battles

Meanwhile, the purple fleet of hot dogs with cheese heads towards KidMoe where it encounters yet another good stasis, taking out a quarter of the fleet. With the ultra problem ripping up his natural, ling brings the rest of his forces home.

Aedile is building a second barracks, two engineering bays, and an academy. He's also pumping marines out of his barracks because he's very mineral heavy at the moment.

wakiki takes this time to secure his holdings. He takes expansions at both mineral-onlies on the high ground around 12 main. He's also adding depots like mad to get his supply back at a reasonable level.

ling's fleet comes in about the time the ultras are attacking the first cannon at his main. Considering the fact that ultras do 0.00000000ish damage to carriers, bunny does the only intelligent thing...he runs like a bat out of hell losing only 1 of his ultras.

The Royal Cheese Fleet flies back into brown's base, stasising the brown carrier, arbiter, and 2 corsairs there. They then engage 3 more carriers under the protection of another arbiter. The carriers are instantly stasised and the arbiter bites the dust, after he gets a stasis off on the majority of the purple fleet.

And in the best of circumstances for brown, bunny picks this time to send his ultralisks in to cause some trouble. The 5 rampaging base busters take out 6 cannons before the last of them busts open.

Both sides un-stasis at KidMoe's main and ling's forces cut through the enemies like a knife through...well, you know the cliche.

wakiki builds a starport and then a science facility at 12, and then begins a command center at his old main. Looks like he may be wanting battle cruisers.

Aedile is producing M&M out of 3 rax, with another one building, as well as upgrading marine range and infantry weapons. He's also landed a CC at bunny's old main and building a science facility.

Somebody's Going Down...Again

ling's carriers finish up with brown's main and find Aedile's mineral-only expansion, which is quickly razed. They then head up and take out his high ground factories and supply depots.

bunny has morphed a lair at his expansion above me, along with two more hatcheries, a spire, and a queen's nest. His only troops, however, are a single zergling.

ling uses his fleet to decimate KidMoe's expansion at Aedile's natural.

The fleet continues on into Aedile's main, encountering the large group of m&m and goliaths there. The majority of the marines and a few of the goliaths are put in stasis and the fleet has an easy time finishing up the base and its defenders. That leaves him with one base, which has only 38 minerals although he does have over 3,500 in the bank.

bunny is upgrading his lair to a hive, upgrading air weapons, and morphing 9 mutalisks. Somebody is still trying to prove a point.

wakiki adds in another starport, adds control towers to them, and adds a physics lab to his science facility. In addition, he moves his goliaths into the middle of the map. Once the control towers complete, he begins battlecruiser production and researching yamato cannon.

KidMoe warps in 5 stargates at the mineral-only expansion above white. He begins 4 carriers and a scout once they finish, and upgrades plasma shields. The alliance appears to be in deep chicken shit or is it ling shit?

wakiki takes his goliaths that he moved in to the mid, towards the main above me also known as bunny's only working base.

At the same time, I get an idea. The idea comes from boredom and from finding that I have 20 dragoons, 2 dark templar, 2 zealots, and 2 archons (see, I told you I screwed up my hotkeys) left in my base. Seeing as how I refuse to let ling win, I decide to kick him in the nuts...or destroy his main, whichever comes first. Unfortunately, I decide against it when I get there and I hear from the cheese master.

ZerG~LinG: maar!
maareek: what?
ZerG~LinG: get out of my base
maareek: alright, as long as we both know I could do it if I wanted
ZerG~LinG: we do, now get out

Sometimes having a conscience works against you. Although I did force him to bring his fleet back home, halting his advance to the west and generally buying everybody time.

wakiki's goliaths reach bunny's base and completely rape the buildings there.

bunny repays the favor by taking out wakiki's high ground expansion to the right of 12 with his mutas. He also morphs 6 ultralisks at his last base. The mutas continue on to 12, but are chased away by a group of fully upgraded goliaths.

wakiki's goliaths turn around and head for bunny's natural after handling his expansion. Upon arrival, they run into the ultras but cut through them fairly easily. As the goliaths begin firing on the hatcheries at his natural, bunny surrenders.

bunny: I'm dead
gg, obs?
all: sure

Bunny and I then speak about our impression of the game, the outlook of the world, pondering the meaning of the universe...and talking about just how gay DK, micro, and mattz are. Unfortunately, he then has to go afk for some reason or another.

After I vacate his base, ling takes his fleet out and cuts down KidMoe's natural. He also sets up expansions at the bottom left and at Aedile's old main (damn that one switches hands a lot).

The Ambigiously Gay Air Fleet (I do hope you guys are getting these puns, otherwise I'm screwed), goes to his expansion at white's old main to prepare to attack KidMoe's last expansion. The only defenses at said expansion are 4 arbiters, and 5 carriers. Unless the probes there can break out their ninja mind control abilities, KidMoe is fucked.

ling puts a nice stasis on 3 of the carriers and 3 arbiters, and then swiftly tears through the remaining two carriers. When brown's units come out of stasis, they quickly put about 10 carriers on ice but it's just too little too late as the base falls and KidMoe leaves the game.

During this time, wakiki takes the group of goliaths that eliminated bunny down towards white's old main (now controlled by Mr. Cheddar). Along the way they take out the budding purple expansion at the natural with no resistance.

Your Back Hurt my Knife

Aedile is proving that he is pretty good at these things, at least he's good at winning the information battle. He saw my first move on ling and what happened and started telling me immediately afterwards that I should attack. He made such a strong case, that I finally decide to do it...plus there's my own mantra of nh ffa's.

maareek: You see ling, it's not about winning in an nh ffa. It's about beating you, I thought you knew that by now.
ZerG~LinG: ^^
wakiki: omg, that's hilarious
maareek: it's true!

I move out yet again. This time I bring everything (I mean everything) and throw it at ling's base, hell bent to tear the dominant player a new one.

The forces I sent earlier are joined by a reaver and 14 probes, leaving me with the 4 probes I have on gas and...nothing else in my base. This is a last-ditch stand to keep ling from winning. Why? Ling is about to win an nh ffa and you're asking why I want to stop him? You don't play against him much do you? He wins every damn game, and always in the gayest way possible. Therefore, he deserves my own brand of vigilante justice. Or, if you're cynical, I'm bored and wanna take out the guy nearest me.

ling sees my forces turn and come down his alley, and despite the fact that his expansion just below his fleet is being razed, he rushes home. The bulk of the fleet (10 carriers) stops to rip up the yellow goliaths on their way from the scene of the crime.

Four of my probes are blown to bits by scout fire, but they are the only loses on the way in. I am able to demolish buildings until the last of the carriers catch up with the scouts and attempt to intervene.

The fleet comes in and the arbiter puts a stasis on a probe, an archon, and a dragoon...out of about 50 units that's all he hits. The interceptors quickly clear out my force but the damage has already been done. All in all the attack took out all of his tech, most of his pylons, and all unit producing buildings except for a gateway and a stargate. The sight made me as happy as seeing the previews for "Catwoman", though in a different way.

ZerG~LinG: Damnit, maar!
maareek: You'd do the same if you were me
And don't say you wouldn't cause I have replays to prove you would
ZerG~LinG: Yes, I would
wakiki/Aedile: lol
maareek: ;)

At this point, I have made a lot of people happy. Except for ling who is actually pretty unhappy with me for some reason or another, who knows with these foreigners. What I do know is he doesn't even have a cybernetics core or forge anymore. When I stab you in the back, I make sure you feel it.

Long Games are Fun

Immediately after my last unit gets blown up, wakiki decides to try to finish ling off. He moves 20 goliaths at the purple main. His goliaths only manage to take out a scout and two carriers before being blown up.

After fighting off wakiki, ling takes his fleet into the middle of the map. He also works on building back his production ability by warping in a bunch of cannons and a cybernetics core at his mineral-only beside my natural (you know, the one he took from me). At the same time, wakiki is using his 7 battlecruisers to check on the high ground expansions along the right side of the map. Unfortunately, I left an observer to the right of my main and ling sees the bcs headed towards the expansion.

Apparently ling had not allied me after my last attack, and his fleet stops to take out my natural while his only source of unit production is being ripped apart...gotta love that. wakiki sees the fleet coming though and runs his bcs away as fast as they can fly (which is like what 5 feet an hour?).

What About Aedile?

He's currently mining from the mineral-only expansion above bunny's old main and sending out cc's like mad (big surprise huh?). He's already sent one to the top left gas-only node. He's also still using the bottom ledge for producing his forces, having a pair of factories with an armory there and a starport building. After he completes another command center, he floats it over to wakiki's old natural.

War in the Valley

wakiki is setting up an expansion at the top right main, and sending all his forces into the middle. At the same time, ling takes his fleet up to wakiki's new expansion and razes (not "raises") it. Of course, wakiki takes this as a sign to take down the rest of King Cheese's main. He also starts producing wraiths and valkyries as well as researching cloak for his wraiths.

After razing the expansion, ling continues on to wakiki's 12 base (could be called his new main but it won't be). His forces go to town on the buildings and wakiki decides to run all the units that complete during this time instead of fighting (which is a good idea since valks don't do so well against carriers).

wakiki takes out the purple main and groups his forces there, then heads up to ling's new production base...formerly known as the mineral-only beside me.

Aedile sent a barracks on a scouting mission across the top of the map starting from the top left. At this point, it is now about to fly over wakiki's base. He takes this time to ask what's going on.

Aedile: is yellow winning?
wakiki: no
ZerG~LinG: yes he is
maareek: not exactly
Aedile: nevermind

The "nevermind" came after his rax flew in and saw lots of yellow going red and blowing up. He then tried to run his rax away, but it buys a load of interceptor fire and goes up in a nice little fireball.

The bcs tear through ling's base quickly, but a shuttle with a probe got away before the carnage began and sets up an expansion at the mineral only just a little way above. Then said probe loads up again and starts another one at the top right main...looks like ling's preparing for a base race.

Once he finishes with 12, ling continues on to the last mining base wakiki has, the mineral-only to the left of 12. He only loses a single scout in both attacks while reducing wakiki to a roving band of units with a couple of buildings running around the map.

End-Game

What ensues is 30 minutes of ling running around trying to find wakiki's last buildings.

ling takes out one of Aedile's expansions but encounter the 2 or so control groups of goliaths. The goliaths take down a scout and 4 carriers before buying the farm.

With only a small fleet of 8 carriers left, the master of gayness works out a mutually beneficial military agreement with Aedile. In layman's terms, they ally against the dude who could take them out.

During that time, I try to gather enough minerals to start another base since I have the buildings intact to win if I can get some money. Unfortunately, my probes keep getting killed and I'm finally forced to abandon my quest.

Since most of what's left is just boring flying around and avoiding each other, I'll just skip ahead.

wakiki: ling, lets end this
come fight me
ZerG~LinG: ok, where are you?
wakiki: no, in the middle
ZerG~LinG: but I'll lose
wakiki: that's the point

bunny finally returns and subtly attempts to convince ling to fight it out. Well, by "subtly" I mean he said, "Damnit, this thing has been going on forever, let's just get it the fuck over with and fight it out." Subtlety at its finest.

ling gives in and tells wakiki to meet him in the middle for the deciding battle.

Unfortunately for wakiki all of his goliaths are on high ground so only his 10 battlecruisers will be able to fight. But with yamato and some micro he should be able to still pull it out.

The final battle was grandiose and the perfect ending to the hard-fought game. I will let the pictures tell the story.

Game Over

And the winner is, .Praetor! That's right, Aedile is none other than br.com's own .Praetor, ffa specialist. How did he do it?

Maybe the main reason he won was his band of guerilla marines who went around taking down expansions (mostly purple) at low ground nodes. After he and ling allied, he began setting up expansions at almost all of the remaining nodes with resources left.

With lots of stockpiled minerals and not much gas left on the map, he decided to go for a marine heavy army. He built up 4 barracks, an academy, an e-bay, then a factory. After the factory finishes he begins an armory, and then supplements his m&m with goliaths.

With those expansions, he gained the economy to build up the force neccessary to win. Once the fight at the end came up, he was almost at the supply limit with the ability to help defeat wakiki and then to turn on ling. Just what you would expect from Mr. Tao of FFA, huh? Gotta love a guy who follows his own advice.

Summary

All insults are meant in fun, of course, although all the things I said about ling are true...he's got too much personality to hate.

Good game to all the players, it was a lot of fun.

After the game, I thought I played like crap. Watching the replay, I notice that I did indeed play like crap, but I could have won had I played a little smarter...gotta love cushy starting positions.

The replay may be found here. Notice that about 50 minutes you should speed up to about x16 until the bar reaches the end.

Hope you enjoyed it, and please leave a comment.

 

<3
maar