After my previous battlereport became old news, I got the unexplained urge to start playing StarCraft again. Sadly, I am so cheap that I only play, as you SC people commonly refer to it as, Vanilla SC. I played SC for a while and became a very decent n00b. I played LT all the time and frowned at people that played anything else. Anyway, I had a nice 2 game BR of SC in mind but I decided to deliver what the people wanted. With that said and done I am proud to give you:

Yeah, so I stole "Frozen Throne" from WC3 but that's not the point. I have learned much over the past year and I will now stea- I mean borrow some things from ZerG-LinG's reports. Since this is my 3rd report on C&C:Generals, let me explain it again. I will keep explaining it until someone in the comments section says "STOP EXPLAINING IT YOU DUMB S.O.B." Command & Conquer: Generals is the first C&C RTS title to be presented to in full 3D. Generals is all-new Command & Conquer, with a modern conflict inspired by events relevant to today. Set 20 years in the future, the game involves the United States and China versus a rogue terrorist-like state, the Global Liberation Army.

Hanging around the Generals Chat area looking at the spam, advertisement, and 11 year olds talking about sex, I was really looking forward to a decent game to play to get my skill level up (kind of like in StarCraft). I saw this guy named Brian, who was not spamming, and asked him for a game. He agreed and we started off on a map called Winter Wolf. It's a winter map with two starting positions on opposite corners or the map, 2 expansions in the middle and 2 Oil Derricks (that give you addition funds), each on one side of the uninhabited corners. There are 3 ways to get into and out of each base.

General Some_God
Side: GLA
Color: Blue
Starting: Upper-Left Corner

General Brian
Side: China
Color: Red
Starting: Lower-Right Corner

I wanted to brush up on my GLA skills because I got "pwned" the other day. I took the upper-left corner while Brian got the lower-right corner. My build order was as follows: A barracks (trains infantry), Supply Stash (gathers supplies), Arms Dealer (builds vehicles and tanks), and 2 tunnel networks (Like the Zerg Nydus Canal in Starcraft) and 2 Stinger Sites (Anti-Air and Anti-Tank sites) on each side of a choke point in front of my base. Every time you start a game you get a general's promotion, which lets you pick an upgrade so you can go up the tech tree a little more. I took an upgrade that lets every technical (A very mobile Vehicle Mounted Machine Gun, which can upgrade itself when it scavenges parts from a destroyed enemy vehicle) become a 1-stripe veteran without having combat experience. Becoming a veteran unit is good since you could have either more hit points, faster rate of fire, better weapons, etc.

Brian's build order was: a nuclear reactor (power plant), supply center (gathers supplies), barracks (builds infantry), bunker (holds 5 soldiers), war factory (builds vehicles and tanks), another bunker, and a Gattling Tower (a gattling cannon). Brian took his Generals upgrade and took Infantry Veterans, which obviously lets every Red Guard (Basic Chinese soldier) come out as a veteran unit. For a Chinese player that is good in the early game because the infantry can be pumped fast out of his barracks and that's because whenever China trains an infantry, two infantry units come out of the barracks making it realistic since China has about 2 billion people.

The first conflict came early, as Brian tried to rush my base with 10 red guards and 2 Tank Hunters (a bazooka man). He outnumbered my infantry and was gaining the upper hand early in the battle. I was franticly building my technicals to help out with the defense. Once they were built I just simply ran over the remaining enemy troops that were attacking.

Brian, seeing that there were also 4 defensive buildings there, was quick to send 3 Battlemaster tanks (they look like Iraqi or Soviet T-72 tanks) and 1 Gattling Tank (a gattling cannon on a vehicle which decimates air and infantry targets) that he built during the battle to the left expansion. He grouped them there until he built up a sizable infantry force at his base. When he did, he attacked on my left flank and dealt some serious damage to one stinger site, which became a GLA Hole (The building is not destroyed but it can rebuild itself). His attack was a tactical surprise as I expected him to do another frontal attack but I quickly gathered my troops to counter-attack this threat. Brian, seeing how he had surprised me, ordered all his troops to attack my base at the front. Unfortunately, I took out most of my troops to deal with his flanking attack and was not prepared for a frontal attack. While my tanks and technicals were dealing with Brian's armor, about two dozen red guards and tank hunters came knocking on the front door of my base. There was a stalemate in the fighting but that stalemate was broken when my returning troops from the left flank, came to reinforce my heavily engaged frontal troops. Soon every single unit that Brian had used to attack my base was destroyed.

I then remembered something I read in a StarCtaft Strategy guide, which says, "After an attack made by an enemy is put down, the enemy himself is vulnerable to an attack." Using that knowledge I quickly built up a force of vehicles including a Marauder Tank (A tank which can only be received through a Generals Promotion), a Toxin Tractor (a tractor that spits toxic chemicals), and a Radar Van (a mobile radar that lets me use the minimap). I had build up a force of about a dozen infantry, 4 vehicles, and 4 tanks when I decided to attack his base. I took all of them to the center of the map where it would be their staging area. My goal was to destroy Brian before he could build up a sizeable airforce because planes and helicopters are very annoying to deal with due to the lack of a good mobile AA to cover my advancing troops.

When I was ready to attack I saw 3 Dragon tanks (Flame Tanks) emerge from the fog of war in front of Brian's base. I wanted to lure them to my tanks so I could tear those bustards apart before they tore my infantry apart. Sadly, Brian saw this and kept moving them back before I could destroy them. We did this 3 times before I finally destroyed them but not without loosing a technical myself. After eliminating the 3 flame tanks I advanced a little farther into my adversary's base when I saw Brian's frontal defense consisting of 2 bunkers (holds 5 soldiers each) and 2 gattling towers (a gattling cannon). I decided I was going to go around his defense like Brian did to me earlier in the game and see how he likes flank attacks.

Luckily for me, just as I entered into his base he had just built another gattling tower and he didn't have enough power planets to power all his defenses so all the gattling towers in his base would be out of action until either one of them was destroyed or he built another power plant. A very tough battle broke out in Brian's base as bullets were flying everywhere, which kind of reminded me of Saving Private Ryan. Except I didn't have any sticky bombs to take out Brian's brand spankin' new flame tank that rolled off the factory line and put some of my infantry ablaze while my tanks were busy taking pot shots at Brian's worker line (like the SCV line). Eventually, though, he won the battle due to his reinforcements coming quicker then mine.

After that battle I became a defensive player. I looked over my base and made sure everything was running fine and then I built a Palace to go up the tech tree. When you build a palace you can access 3 new units: Bomb Truck (a truck that can have a toxic or a high-explosive payload), Rocket Buggy (a fast buggy that shoots rockets), and an angry mob (People that are fed up with ZerG-Ling being a rate- I mean a bunch of people with AK's and Molotov Cocktails). I also looked at my supply dump and saw that I need to expand before I ran out of cash. I moved my worker's to the expansion below my base and built a supply stash (collect supplies) and a stinger site for defense. Meanwhile I was building up my forces for another attack that would make or break me (Preferably him).

In the meantime, Brian was already low on cash as his supply dump ran out of money. He then did one of the most stupidest things I have ever seen. He just sent out his 3 supply gatherers, with no protection, to gather supplies at my expansion. They were easily wiped out but, sadly, I lost a worker who was crushed by one of the trucks. T.T. (Sadly, I don't know what T.T means).

I didn't realize why those 3 supply-gathering trucks just came to get resources without protection. It was not until I had produced a bomb truck, filled with toxic chemicals, passed by Brian's supply dump and realize what had happened. I wanted to bomb Brian's base with my chemical truck but it didn't get very far thanks to his Gattling Towers, though it did get far enough for me to see that he had no more money at his supply dump.

This was the perfect time for me to strike a critical blow to him. I gathered most of my army for the final assault. My first task was to take care of Brian's RPG troops (bazooka men) that stood outside of his base. They would pose a serious threat against my tanks and technicals. In a clever move on my part, I lured them into an ambush and "whacked" them with minimal casualties. I was then going to try and finish him with a follow up 1-2 combo. As I engaged I noticed that very early in the battle I made some initial gains: I destroyed a couple of his infantry units and 2 gattling towers, but eventually the veteran troops in his bunkers got to me. All of my units were destroyed except for one rocket buggy, which was out of range of the bunker's RPG troops.

The buggy single handedly destroyed 2 bunkers and 1 infantry unit by itself (GODLY). When it destroyed the other bunker 5 units came out and started firing on the buggy, which was too weak to defend against the 5 infantry units. I told the rest of my army, consisting of 1 tank 3 infantry and 2 angry mobs, to finish of Brian. Brian, in a last stand of defiance, used his general's promotion to get the cluster bomb drop, in which a plane drops cluster bombs (they act as land mines) and any unit that steps on them will probably die. He dropped the cluster bombs around his last bunker, which was defending his right flank.

I destroyed Brian's base easily but that all changed when I came up to his bunker. I didn't know where his bunker was so I sent a buggy to scout the upper part of Brian's base. I hoped that he didn't expand because that would leave my base's flank open to him. The buggy moved fast and skimmed across the snow until it reached the bunker. It drove by the bunker and exploded into 100,000,000,000.000000000001 pieces (*sniff*). After that it was a piece of cake and I achieved victory in the name of Kazzam.

"Le GG"

He said "gg", I said "gg", we all said "gg". Then he asked me for a rematch. He said he didn't play well with Chinese and wanted a rematch to prove that he wasn't "The n00b Guy" and I agreed. Are you ready for part two?

Do you ever go on the ~NH channel and see people say "asdf"? I don't get what that means… lol I'm such a n00b.

Ah yes. The snow makes us say the prettiest things, especially to a female that you adore:

"Roses are red, Violets are black.
Why is your chest as flat as your back."

Anyway this time Brian wanted to go to a different map. He asked for us to duke it out on Lone Eagle. Lone Eagle is a 4-player map with the 4 starting positions near the 3 and 7`o`clock corners and 2 oil derricks on 2 corners each. A river divides 2 starting positions and bridges connect them. Also there is a small town in between 2 starting positions, which you can fortify your troops in.

General: Some_God
Color: Blue
Side: GLA
Starting Position: Northern Most - 12

General: Brian
Color: Red
Side: USA
Starting Position: Western Most - 9

I had a clear vision of what I was going to do this game to defeat Brian: I was going to Scud Storm him. A scud storm is a special ability that the GLA has. It takes 5 minutes to arm it but when its ready, it shoots about 9 Scud Missiles armed with chemical warheads. I would have to tech hard and fast to get it and hopefully not die in the process.

I started my build like last time: A barracks (trains infantry), Supply Stash (gathers supplies), Arms Dealer (builds vehicles and tanks), and tunnel networks (Like the Zerg Nydus Canal in Starcraft) and Stinger Sites (Anti-Air and Anti-Tank sites) on each side of a choke point in front and in back of my base. I used the 4 RPG troops that come standard with the tunnel network and fortified them in one of the buildings that the town had to increase my defensive power in the back of my base.

Brian's build order was: Cold Fusion Reactor (power plant), Barracks (builds infantry), Supply Dump (gathers supplies), War Factory (builds vehicles), and Patriot Missile systems (defense against ground and air targets). Brian researched Capture Method and captured 2 oil derricks (give additional funds) that were on the bottom of the map at the 6`o`clock hill.

Action came quick as Brian built up his forces and scouted with one Humvee (I hope you know what a humvee is…) His scout was quickly eliminated by the RPG troops I garrisoned in a building. Brian then ordered his tanks to attack the front where they caused no damage. I wanted Brian to feel really stupid after that attack and I feel I did so in a very proper way.

I loaded up 2 technicals with 5 Rebels (basic GLA infantry) and 5 RPG troopers and drove into Brian's base through the back. I unloaded them and they started hackin' away at his base. They didn't do much damage because his army came into the picture and killed all the infantry. My 2 technicals were still alive and kickin' but badly damaged. I told them to escape to safety. As the technicals quickly scurried across the snow, a Patriot Missile wasted one of them. The other one made it back to base just in time to help defend against Brian's retaliatory attack.

Brian sent all he had to attack my base and show that he isn't no ones bitch. He took out my stinger site and a massive tank battle ensued. Brian eventually won his way through but I quickly built a marauder tank to reinforce my worn out army, barely managing to mop up the rest of his troops. My frontal defenses were devastated during the attack and I had to rebuild fast before he sent another wave of attackers at me.

I needed something to slow him down. Anything. That's when I noticed I had just finished building a Palace when a thought hit me. Let me be a good terrorist and blow something up with a bomb, a car bomb that is. I filled a truck with high explosive cargo and drove around looking for a target. I went across a bridge and saw an Airfield (builds aircraft) Brian had just built. I saw that 3 infantry units defended the airfield. I went at top speed and ran over a soldier and then crashed into the airfield. The shockwave killed the other two soldiers.

I used a general's promotion to get a Rebel Ambush, which is where 5 rebels come out of nowhere to attack a target you designate. Both attacks didn't slow Brian down one bit. Brian unleashed his Commanche attack helicopters on my base, where I had no anti-air units available. The choppers quickly destroyed my base and I had no choice but to go to my expansion and start from scratch. I started building a supply stash and a barrack but the construction didn't go far as the choppers found me and lighted me up faster than a Christmas tree on the Forth of July.

Well this concludes The Frozen Throne Terrorists Battle Report. Feel free to leave any comments, feel free to email me, and lastly feel free to give me a 10 because I didn't make fun of Zerg~Ling at all in this Battle Report. Oh yeah. I almost forgot. A very, very big shout out to Psyonic_Reaver for proofreading my work and providing some of the jokes used in this report. He is so nice, Just look at what he wrote in the email: "Hope this helps! I better get a shout out!"