(Note: I apologize profusedly for any grammatical errors with which your viewing experience may be hindered, however my command of the English language is rather poor. This set of degraded grammatical skills is a result of late nights staring at a computer screen, a pronounced noobiness and an IQ below 45. Please take condolence in the fact that for every decent reporter on this site, there are 15 of my type.)

I hop you like my seksy backround i found it at http://www.fuxinbackroundroxor.net and its really pwnage. Just in casse it doesnt turne out rite i'l describ it to u: it's tis white shit with a white border OMG IT R0X0RZ!! I just wanna say a BIG FUXOR THX TO http://www.fuxinbackroundroxor.net for teh BG!

One day I bougt a game and on the cuver wuz -STARCRAF, BROOD WAR-. I tought it wuz a seksy game cuz it like had dis alien hottie missus on it and i was lik SHWING! So I went to the cunter and the guy behind the cunter wuz lik HEY DO YOU WANNA BUY THIS GAM? And I was like SHWING! Soo I bougt it and seks k?

Soo on my way out of teh store I saw dis guy named Defow. And Defow wuz lik HEY WUTS TAHT GAM U GOT DERE? And I was like IT'S STARCRAF and he wuz lik NO, MORE? and i wuz lik OMG no 1 is gunna believe that he said NO, MORE? so i took a screenshut to proove it! Here it is he said:

there it is, he said NO, MORE? lik teh world was ending tuh next day! but it didnnt cuz this happend 2 days ago! so teh world didnt end teh next day! i can proove it cuz here is teh overmind and he sez: !!

Yea so then i wuz like *goes home* and puts teh STARCRAF in my computter and i saaw taht there wer 3 races and i wuz like I WANNA CHOSE TERRAN! and it wuz seksy. here is a br of my terran experience::::

soon after ths gam i realized taht terran wuz not teh race fur me. I had goten totally PWNED, i tink he defiantly H4X0Red. so i decided to muve on to teh nex race, wich is protoss. i knuw taht protoss wuz teh race fur me cuz it wuz shiny, and i am lik teh shiny. so her is mi experience wiht protoss:

i decidd to join anothr BGH gam but i miscliked an landed in a 1v1 LT. i knw i wud win cuz LT is fur chobos lik my sister. so the guy on top startd the cuntdown and wuz like GL HF wich meanz GREAT LUMPING HIPPOGRIPHS, FUCK. so i wuz lik FUCK YOU IM GUNNA WIN CH0B0. anywayz teh gam startd an i tink i wuz playin anuther H4X0R cuz tis happened:

i knuw it wuz a H4X0R cuz he usd more than 1 unit type, which is aganst the STARCRAF rulz. can u see the Zergling in the abuv picture? taht pruvs he wuz a H4X0R.

I hatez H4X0RZ so much taht i went to a site and got a hack so now im a H4X0R too. taht will show dem H4X0RZ. I decidd taht wit my new hack i wud use the mighty zerg and pwn tehm all. bewear, this nex gam is not meant fur teh feint of heart. it is very intens and if u arnt strung enuf to enjoy it u wil die. so if u do read it u gutta say gfood stuff bout it or u die. ya so here it is. it even has an aewsome title.

K so I entred a gam wif six uther playrs. it wuz called 7VS1 COMP STOMP NEWBIES OWNLY. now tahts teh kind of gam i lik. so i entred and tere were six uther playrs there and they all had red bars next to their name. i tink taht mean taht theyre really XPERT. her is a shot of teh red bars:

yeh so finaly teh gam startd. i knew it wud be hard, but we cud do it, especially sence i had my new hack and i was now a H4X0R. every1 shouted SHARED VISION and ALLIE and SV/A until six spacs on mi mini map appeard an i cud see tere bases. i was lik ALRIGHT but then i realizd i cud just turn on my hack and teh whole map wud be revealed. i did, but it wusnt as fun. o well. i sent my floaty thng (it looks lik somthin i saw in the toilet) ovr to an enemy base to mak it luk lik i wuz scouting. here iz wut i saw:

it wuz a big fux0r hump in the grund! and it startd shooting at mi floaty till it died! i vowed revenge on all livng things. wut made me evn mor mad wuz wen the computer broke the NR 2 HOUR rule. i got proof taht he attackd me. i am gunna send this scren shot to blizzard so his account gets erased fur abusing:

eventuly the computer continued hiz treachery to a guy namd godofunk and godofunk almost died so then godofunk sed NOW I WILL USE MY DROPHACK TO PRESERVE MY RECORD and he wuz like *

* and i wuz like OMFG I NEED ONE OF THOS!! AFTR THIS GAM IM GUNNA DOWNLOAD IT CUZ MY RECORD IS MY LIFE!! im tellin ya it was aesome and he gained so muhc respect from teh uther comp stomprs.

finally i wuz rdy to exact revenge on teh computer. i sent it one guardian, which is teh best unit it teh gam.

but taht didnt work so i sent in four more guardians. i was sure this wud work.

amazingly tish didnt wurk either so i sent in teh rest of my fleet...SEVEN GUARDIANS!!

TIHS DIDNT WURK EITHER!! after tihs i knew wut was wrung: i needed to expand. so i looked all over fer an expo and i found one and took alut of screnshots so i cud remember wer it was.

here is the time to take a breathr cux tere is alut mor writing to cum. so go get some munchies and com back to enjoy the secund half of ZERG BATTLE!

Here is sum random text u can enjoy during urbreak. this text isnt fur reading, its fur enjoying. I rippd it off sum guys site so it would fill teh spac.

chatting a bit. Shortly after, a chance to prove his courage presents itself, as countless Shinra guards surround him. Will he stand and fight, or run away? When danger rears its ugly head...

Section Break-Down: The Reactor is blown, and now it's boot it back to base camp. Avalanche is looking forward to a peaceful cruise home on the train, but a squadron of Shinra guards stands in the way.

Any battles in this section can be won without magic. Gain experience, grab some items and have fun with it.

Section Walkthrough

The avalance techie (Jessie) blows a hole through an obstruction, and Avalanche's path home looks to be a pleasant one. Apparently Barret sees differently, as he takes the cautionary mesure of ordering a split-up. Be a rebel and follow Barret up the stairs.

Waiting at the top, a flower girl humbly pedals her wares. At this point you get to choose whether you want to buy flowers. This decision affects plot only, so here's my advice regarding the matter: If you like the pretty girly, buy some flowers. If you don't like the pretty girly, don't buy some flowers.

Whichever you pick, the flower girl heads off into a plaza. Follow her, and cross it. You may want to stop and talk with the people hanging out. You definitely want to grab the potion that's lying conspicuously in the open.

Exiting from the plaza onto the street, you meet up with 456 X 10^8 Shinra guards. Well maybe a little less than that..no matter, the point is you get to decide whether you want to fight. If you were smart and read my guide, then you know

OK I hop u enjoyed ur brake but now it is time fur teh second half of ZERG BATTLE!

OK so alot of things happend and i will describ them now...ah shit nevr mind im too bord im jus gonna finish it wiht a short discription. umm...i used tish big army and killd evrything wiht teh help of my hax. her is my big army.

I sincerly hop u enjoyd my BR and a note to teh raters: its ok if u give me all tens, ppl will kno that i didnt bribe u and that tihs is jus an aewsome report. a note to the BRers: Im sorry if i offended u by making a BR ten times betteer than anything u cud ever do.

This has been a FUX0R PWNAGE production.