Philipgk........................John_Doe.........................SpecialGA......................In a lowlymarine Production......................Another Gay FFA! (High budget, eh?)

Welcome my friends to the very first Emperor: BFD report ever.   First of all, I should warn you, this is my first HTML coding ever.  Second, there is no screenshot key and no replay feature to speak of, so thusly, only 1 screenshot.  Sorry. L   With those warnings in mind,  on with the introduction… Today you will read of the epic struggle of three major powers and…what?  “Cut the crap and get on to the report!”  OK, without further adue, on to the report.  But first, I want to thank you all for…  “Get on with it already!”  OK, OK, jeez…

The players:

Philipgk: That would be me.  Emperor is about the only RTS in creation I don’t suck at.  My other nicks include FED2kDuke and lowlyrine.  I chose to be the vile House Harkonnen.

John_Doe: That was his name!  No, really!  Other than his name, and that he is a turtler, I don’t know much about him.  On to the next guy.  Oh yeah, he was also Hark.

SpecialGA: AKA Sir Cuss-a-lot. Seriously, from beginning to end, this guy cussed and cursed and swore.  I hear he does that a lot.  Needless to say, he was somewhat…traumatized, shall we say?...when he lost a unit, or clicked the wrong thing, or was attacked, or…  Today he commands the insidious Ordos.

On to the report:

A quick note: if you don’t play Emperor, I suggest you read this.

“We said, GET ON WITH IT!”

All right, so:

On to the report:

The game settings were essentially mega-money:

-30,000 starting Solaris

-Prebuilt Base

-No starting units (except 1 harvester, duh.)

-Map: Knife Fight (unfortunately, the ingame minimap is translucent, so no pic for you.)

-Map Description: Very small map, 4-players, a lot of spice.  Perfect for rushing and really fast games.

The game started off fairly standard: Immediate factories and ref. upgrades.  I built two Sard barracks and began the slow process of pumping the little buggers, while SpecialGA, who had opted for Fremen, built a tent and some Feds, undoubtedly to summon worms.  It seems John has opted not to use subhouses.  You can tell he’ll go far.

As the game moves on, I build up about 6 or 7 assault tanks, then move out.  My first run is quite successful; I manage to take down two of John’s tanks and two of his harvesters (one while loading onto a carryall.)  SpecailGA builds up to a hangar, adding only a few Laser Tanks and a Kobra or two for defense.  He then begins to mass EITS.  No comment.

As the game progresses, I upgrade my factory and produce a couple of missile tanks, taking down all of John’s carryalls, one with a harvester.  Now his surviving harvies have to drive to the spice fields and back.  SpecialGA manages to eat one of them with a worm, the only productive thing he’s done so far.

I once more build about 6 assault tanks, and once more head for John’s base.  SpecialGA, however, has different plans.  One of his worms manages to eat two of my tanks, and John’s pursuing tanks get in a few shots as well (and then are promptly eaten, too).

I tried using this same attack force again, and it was doing well for a wile.  Nonetheless, John’s turrets and missile tanks were too much.  After repeating this fiasco twice more, I decided to attack with something more than just assault tanks.  Scary thought.  This time, I brought along two missile tanks.  John’s turrets and single missile tank were quickly outmatched, and I tore down the factory and refinery.  With very little hope of holding me off with infantry alone, he resigned.

So what about SpecialGA?  Well, he charged me with no less than 6 EITS, believing that my attack on John’s base had weakened me.  I had about 4 AA-capable turrets, two missile tanks, and 6-8 troopers.  I destroyed all 6, and another wave of four, with no problems at all.  He lost 20,000 dollars worth of units right there, so I figured he was screwed.  I built up some more assault tanks, and charged.  I broke through his front defenses, but his turrets/Kobras somehow managed to hold me off (barely).

But what about the Sardaukar?  I had been building them constantly for about half an hour now, so where were they?  Well, SpecialGA was about to find out.  He charged about 12 Laser Tanks towards my base in a final, last ditch attempt to kill me.  They ran into my 30+ Sardaukar halfway.  Unfortunately for him, since Laser Tanks hover, they can’t crush infantry.  Combine that with the fact that their gun sucks vs. infantry, and it spells his doom.

After losing every single one of his Laser Tanks, he graciously bowed out:

(I know it’s big, but it’s my only screenshot, for God’s sake!)

OK, and that perennial thing with BR’s these days,

Lessons learned:

1.       Don’t turtle.  It just gets you killed.

2.     Don’t mass gay units like EITS.

3.      Laser Tanks<Mass Sards

4.     When an attack keeps getting slaughtered, come up with a new one!

5.      Attrition is the way to go.

6.      Hark rulez this game.

-lowlymarine