"Steve's attempts to mind control an interceptor prove futile..."
-Mark4
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| Flaming Report | | | Author: | | | IP: | adsl-64-XXXX | | Date: | 06/10/02 04:06 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 2, Min: 2
Lifetime Rating for Lieutenant: 4.0000 |  |
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Ok, let's start this off with some honesty. This is my first report, and I don't intent on making it about a gosu game, but I do aim for it to be a gosu reprt... a good report. Fine, I have no idea what I'm doing trying to write a report. Anyway, after witnessing a site webmaster being threatened to get sued multiple times for posting his/her/its opinion on many subjects (most of which were irrelevent, much like what you're reading now) I went out to my local courthouse and asked how one might be allowed to say what one was thinking without getting threated with a law suit like the aforementioned webmaster. They gave me a copy of what they called the US Code of Conduct in Reguarding Litigation and Slander, but I thought it was a little suspecious that was writen in jumbo marker over some heavy layers of white-out, under which was the original title labeling it "Book o Laws and Stuff". After consulting this tome of knowledge I found that I am required to say the following:
Gee, wasn't that fun? I should use that book to get me through more of life's problems, as I was totally oblivious to the notion that I could be sued for speaking my mind. Kinda makes me wish I lived in a contry where we'd get a whole amendment for "freedom of speech" or something. Anyway, now that I'm safe I can continue with the report.
 We find our intrepid heroes plotting battles on the much used Lost Temple, and not only that but one of the numerous variants of the place. It doesn't shout for special attention from the get-go, but attempting a new trick I learned at my optimisim class I "gave it a chance". Afterwards I learned that both players did indeed need special attention.
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Rikimaru (Riki), Zerg at 3:00
Metal-Dragon (Dragon), Terran at 12:00
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Now, I'm not a violent man. I don't like to fight others, or watch people bleed, suffer, or any of the other stuff like that, probably because I'm the one who gets beat/bleeds/etc, but the instant I saw the name "Rikimaru", a name ripped from Kevin Sorbo's latest mistake Andromeda, I wanted to punch that player in the liver. Then I wanted to punch myself for knowing what it was, but that's because I'm chronically depressed (the reason why I watch Andromeda, not why I envision myself beating my vital organs). Carrying on, both sides started mining with a light cloning technique and the first phase of the game was underway.
Riki started off by sending his initial Lord to the 12main, which as we know was the opposition's starting area. While the floating supply made its way over, the player went through with the basic motions of 9Lord, 9Extractor feint to kick his control up to ten before normal rules allowed, 10Hatch above the ramp, 12Pool, 14Extractor, 18Lair, 19Hatch at natural, a few Colonies, and set his tech into stone by adding a Spire at 18.
On the other side of things Dragon started a 9Depot as the Lord ambled its way over, 10th went scouting where the Lord came from, 11Rax, 13Refinery, 16Depot, and finished the normal level tech with a 21Fact and shortly later an Armory/2nd Fact with intent on macroing Gollies.
Because Dragon had withdrawn his scouting SCV after seeing a pair of Creeps morphing near the Zerg's ramp he didn't have a clue as to what was going on in the inner hive and decided not to suicide his worker making sure those Creeps were Sunk. Instead, he parked the peon just outside the natural's valley to stand guard. Lets note that the SCV had previously spent a lot of time sitting in the natural, possibly to harrass any attempted expanding there, and it would have been smart to do so again  (and safe, too, seeing how Riki did in fact take the expo with no Ling defense. FYI, I made that pic out of three shots) but it was decided that knowledge of enemy's progress wasn't worth five seconds of a peon's time right now. Durring this a second SCV started and completed a Bay just below 3's min-only wall, hinting that Tanks were going to be on the way and would need spotting.
After the expo was running in full swing, the Spire was finished, and even a handful of Mutas were around, the SCV was finally given the order to see what was going on. He headed in to find the Swarm in all it's oozing glory and even got the stones to take on the mineral line by his lonesome. It seems that people boxed in large metal suits frighten the Zerg, because the Mutas took flight to the other side of the base and the SCV scored a kill before the Drones took up their own defense.  Two more Drones were able to heavily damage and chase it away to 3's min-only before returning to their normal duities. Now that it was ensured they wouldn't be taking serious damage in confronting this crazy desparado the Mutas flew in full force just south of where the SCV was last spotted, completely missed it, and ran into another SCV next to the Obay. In a suprise move they started attacking this time, but Dragon's own force of Marines, Gollies, and Tanks were halfway there to begin the first full offensive of the game.
The Mutas, though outnumbered, fought valiantly until there was only three of them left while causing a few Marines' demise in the meantime. Seeing that it was no longer a winning situation they retreated to the center, cursed the SCV's all-comsuming power, thought better of it, and flew back home while taking another casualty in the process. After the skirmish the Bay, now bransishing flames, floated over the 3main ramp to spot for a pair of Tanks in Seige. While they hammered away at the high ground defenses Riki decided to switch tech to Hydras, and as we all know they totally own Marines backed by Tanks -__-;;. The two forces breifly met for what I surmise was the biggest battle of the game, blood was spilt (much to my dismay) and some of the Zerg acted like the French by running away at the first sign of conflict. Bunch of rifle droppers. The French, I mean. I laughed pretty hard when I first heard they got owned by Germany's military so easy in WWII. I hate Germans as well, but I dislike the French even more. Heck, lets be honest, I hate you, too. Maybe not as much as the German or French, but it's up there.
Still, in the spirit of honesty, I didn't finish watching the replay. I didn't need to. In fact, here's something more interesting: what I think happened (and for your pleasure it's in a nutshell)-
One loser lost and another loser won. Ta da.
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This has been a flaming rainbow report (not those fags, you queer).
Questions, suggestions, or comments? Don't bother to comment here, just email me at stfu@hotmail.com and you're comment will be ignored in the order in which it was recieved.
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