"This has been a GAY production."
-SCN/|]agomar
|
| "As cool as cancer" | | | Author: | | | IP: | dialup-6XXXX | | Date: | 12/28/01 07:12 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 4, Max: 8, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for LuckyNewbie:P and Eradicate~Me: 7.7500 |   |
Hello. Welcome to another LuckyNewbie:P report. This is a short, sweet game with some good players and excellent plot twists. Sorry, no epics tonight. Hope you all (except ground-lobp-) enjoy it!
Authors Note:
For those of you who don't know me, I'm a Terran player. Protoss vs. Zerg isn't my specialty for obvious reasons, so I would like to thank ~!FreaK!~ (my bud, a zerg player) for his complete lack of commentary on the game when asked for it. In fact, he went away for twenty minutes in the game and made me pause it, then dropped twice and went away again on the third run. Still with no 'expert' advice on the subject, I will try to skip on making any blatantly wrong strategical analysis. .
This game was played a while back, and it was a very interesting one at that. Apex-x is a player everyone ought to know, one of the finest in The A-X Clan and has a very good zerg that almost got him a ticket to WCG this year. His opponent fOr)MergE.., on the other hand, is someone I've never heard of before, but the alternating caps is a sure sign of his 1337-ness.
This game is a perfect example of the very basic strategy of starcraft: get resources, make use of them, and deny your enemy any. Of course, its dressed up with all the thousands of tactics used to reach the same end, which makes the game fun. Lots of lessons to learn here for you newbies, pay attention :]
Enough with the intro, its time for the game:
The Setting
"These programs [Linux/Unix] are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program."
-T Reginald Gibbons, the self proclaimed "enlightened, modern parent"
in the famous article "is your son a computer hacker?"
The Map:
The Lost Temple
The Players:
Apex-x gets yellow Zerg in the east
fOr)MergE.. gets red Protoss in the south
Both players get their peons cloned perfectly (helped with the initial lag of five observers), and after a few minutes of mineral gathering start scouting the map. Both players scout counter-clockwise, leaving Merge with some first recon advantage. Instead of harassing the drones with his probe, he puts it in a perfect position on the ramp to block scouting drones, which proves quite effective. After about a minute of drone wandering, Apex uses the peons ability to "float" over units when ordered to mine a certain spot and manages to get out and scout.
However, and much to the Zerg commanders dismay, Merge has already got a zealot out and his ramp blocked, denying him any recon, and the drone is klled. Both players then continue to build up. Merge gets early gas and builds pylons strategically (randomly) around his base, then gets a late cybernetics core and second gate. Apex makes another hatch, a pool and gas, teching up for those famed lurkers. Then a longer build up ensues.
A long, long build up. Apex gets more and more zerglings, and Merge blocks his ramp with his zealots and goes for some early observers. Both players arent in any position to attack. MergE is no where near strong enough, and Apex, no matter how grand his army, cant get past the smaller ramp guard, whom they outnumber about 36 to 8. Lurkers, on the other hand, can change this around. Both players continue the attempt at some recon, no zergling or "100 dollar comsat" sees anything of importance, but a lucky probe spots Apex's morphing lair and leads him to suspect lurkers. When his first three lurkers hatch, Apex makes the first move.
First Blood (ya i know its overused)
"Everything in starcraft should cost 200 gas, because fighting is bad."
- SCV~007
MergE is not caught offguard by the attack, he attempted to scout with a probe just as the zerg army was approaching, and had time to get his army of dragoons and zealots assembled near his mineral only. When the armies met, it was Apex caught unprepared with the bulk of his army lagging behind. When the lurkers burrowed and the zealots disappeared into puffs of smoke, their dragoon breatheren retreated back up the ramp.
Apex unburrows his lurkers and follows, intent on victory. His zerglings manage to surround a few dragoons and finish them. Their deathes were not in vain, however, and MergE gets reinforcing dragoons and forms above his ramp in the delay. With the higher ground and the late arrival of lurkers, MergE is able to eliminate the zerg with few additional casualties.
Counter-Strike (and no not that gay a** game)
"wow, i dont think there was a single mistake is that sentence !!"..................(read carefully)
- King-Lewis
MergE gets a forge and moves his army out, pumping troops out of three gates. Apex has expanded by now and is upgrading his melee attacks. To defend his expansion 5 lurkers are made and about 20 lings hatched. With his victory, it is imperative MergE counter-strike his opponent to regain the initiative and take control of the game. With around 12 dragoons and a few zealots, he rallies his army in front of Apex's base.
The following battle could be considered a zerg victory. All of the original lurkers and zerglings are destroyed with a healthy number of protoss remaining, but reinforcing hydras and zerglings convince MergE to withdraw his dragoons and leave the zealots to stall the advance.
MergE didnt get a chance to attack any mining drones, but did manage to take his natural during the skirmish.
 Apex, of course, strikes back with his zerglings and finds MergE trying to take his natural. The attack, however, goes nowhere, only killing a pylon. With new reinforcements on both sides, MergE takes his mineral only and Apex tries to attack again, with similar results.
Realizing it to be an expensive undertaking to destroy the expansions, Apex takes the 12 o'clock to re-take his economic advantage, only to have it found seconds later by MergE.
No more skirmishing!
"Playing BGH is like having sex with fat woman, its cool until someone finds out"
- WSSO
This is when the real action begins. Apex, not idle at home, has made a fresh hydra/lurker army and sends it to the middle to contain, but later attempts an attack. As with all the previous attacks, it turns out to be pretty much a stalemate, but the zerg commander does manage to kill 11 mining probes with a sneaky lurker and upset mining time at the mineral only.
After spotting the 12 o'clock expansion by his opponent, MergE takes a probe to the West main and makes a few cannons. After the zerg attack, he uses his money surplus on a nexus and regains an economic balance. The zerg expansion has been sitting idle for some time, and finally receives some drones just as Apex makes another attack.
The zerg commander hasnt been asleep at home the entire game, and his new army gathers in the center to confront any protoss advance on the northern expansion. The attack pattern follows that of every other battle so far, with some overlords hovering above the battle. However, when an observer comes to reveal the lurkers, it is rudely cut off by a mysterious shriek, followed by that weird sound an observer makes when it dies. Apex has made a spire and made those infamous scourge for the specific purpose of killing MergE's observers.
Blood, Expansions and Overlords
Erad406: go back to the lewis quote
Erad406: read it word for word
TheDukePhelan: yah
TheDukePhelan: i don't get it
- Satan'sCookies / Eradicate~Me
Instead of attacking Apex's army with his dragoons and templar, MergE wisely stays away from the swarm and picks off its hydras one by one as they dance around in the range-upgraded dragoon fire. When the hydra count is low, Apex moves his lurkers into a group in front of the nexus, hoping to finish it off. But as all brood war players know, grouping lurkers when your opponent has psi storm is a bad idea. A really bad idea. A few storms later, and blood mysteriously oozes out of the ground where the lurkers once stood.
MergE has a ton of gateways at this point, both the idle ones in his main and the ones warping at his new expansion. If he is allowed to keep his large productive capacity and his healthy economy (Three mineral mining spots to Apex's two), it would be soon over. His opponent needs to get an advantage fast.
 Apex knows this. With overlord sacs (hehe) researched, he moves two lurkers into one of the transports and sends them over the 6 o'clock ledge where they kill the majority of the probes. When two dragoons and a high templar come to talk to them with observer cover, those pesky scourge strike again and the natural is completely shut down.
This is just part one of the zergs plan. Loading 6 hydralisks up, the strike team is sent towards the 9 o'clock, where they run into 6 gateways, all quened up.
Instead of trying to kill them, they focus on the pylon they are running on, and successfully knocks out power to four of the gateways. Eventually, an army of about a dozen protoss warriors smashes the attack without casualty, but MergE is apparently unaware of his gateways idleness, something that will come back to haunt him.
Massive Red Conga-Lines
"OMG CANADA, EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO CRY OVER OUR MASSIVE NUCLEAR ARSENAL"
- |||l||||ll|||||
MergE has had enough, and desides to attack while he still holds the advantage. When he sees the remaining 3 lurkers in the center load up into overlords, he attacks. The three lurkers fly directly over the mineral only, but two of their number go down with ship when it is brought down by two dragoons confused as to how one goes down a ramp. The remaining lurker, however, lands safely and proceeds to kill near all the probes mining there. MergE..'s economy is now fully dependent on his mineral only.
 What follows next happens pretty fast. A great big, red streak slices up through the map and crushes the 12 o'clock main expansion. Apex, who also has the natural, quickly morphs 4 sunkens. While the north is still falling apart, apex sends his army of about two dozen zerglings and a handful of hydralisk to help save half of it. However, when he sizes up the protoss force and realizes the futility of defending, looks for another target. What better jewel than MergE's last mining expansion?
Taking the mineral only expansion wasnt easy, four cannons and a few dragoons almost won the day. Unfortunately, the lack of psi storm sealed its fate, and the nexus goes down in a blue flame just as the last larva is murdered at the 12 natural. Simultaneously, the remaining lurker terrorizing the 9 o'clock main is finally dealt with by four zealots and an observer. Apex then morphs his remaining hydralisks at the 6 mineral only into lurkers.
The protoss army is small now, and 5 zealots 2 dragoons and a high templar are still quened up at the 9 o'clock gateways. With 6 dragoons, 2 zealots, 4 high templar and 7 probes, he makes his final attack. Against a few defenders, a few well placed storms appear to ensure him victory, but reinforcing zerglings quickly wipe out the protoss, and Apex rolls onto the offensive.
"your about as cool as cancer"....- fOr)MergE..
"if we lose its cause i got my best race"
- bold
Apex takes his lurkers, all 7 of them, and sends them to the 9 o'clock, where they find an expansion warping in at the natural and a dozen probes being 'maynard'ed. They quickly burrow and eliminate most of them, and proceed to wreck the nexus. Underestimating the size of the force, MergE sends his remaining 9 zealots at them from two sides, but they are easily wiped out. Realizing the futility, MergE gives his unique "gg" and resigns.
Mouse over the picture below to see why eradicate~me takes 15 hours to make pictures
The End
Well, thats it for today, hopefully it was more entertaining than |]agomar's f*cking puns :P. Both players did pretty well this game, and being a terran player any "lessons learned" would be a good example of hypocrisy. If there are any good players out there looking to be battlereported by us, be sure to give a ring. Oh yes, and be sure to leave a comment! No ground, not you.
And of course, the scores:
Overview
| Units
| Structures | Resources
fOr)MergE..: apex
fOr)MergE..: your about
fOr)MergE..: as cool as cancer
Apex-X: -_-
fOr)MergE..: fuckin homo
Apex-X: lol
fOr)MergE..: gg
Apex-X rofl
fOr)MergE..: : (
Apex-X: gg :)
fOr)MergE..: that was like
fOr)MergE..: 20 zeals
Apex-X: i am cheese god sorry
fOr)MergE..: its ok
fOr)MergE..: gg
<Apex-X> my play like newbie make the game look like its good :)
(ya, it sure will)
Writing Actual Report done by:
Graphics Long ass download time done by:
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