Warm Up Information: The Dance Floor: Snowbound The Dancers: xenomorph. spawns a brown brood of two-steppin', hick hatin' Zerg at 9:00 greenpeas lands his band of hop-skipping, rat cussin' teal rednecks at 6:00 The fiddles flare, dosado, and the show's underway. Initial Build Orders xenomorph. greenpeas 9 Overlord 8 Supply Depot 11 Hatchery 10 Refinery 13 Extractor 12 Barracks 14 Spawning Pool 16 Barracks 18 Lair 18 Factory The early going is pretty quiet. Possibly because everyone is forced to hang out on their own dance floor until they can get off of it. Or maybe everyone is still a little sluggish from gorging on spit fired pork, slaw, chicken and corn. . . Probably mostly from chicken and corn. xenomorph. send his first Overlord to the 6:00 main, to send a friendly invite to boogie, cowboy style. However, upon seeing a bunch of trigger-happy, backwater hillbillies, decides to back off and reconsider the offer. All the while upgrading Zergling speed and throwing down and Evolution Chamber. As soon as the Lair is done morphing, Overlord transporting is begun, as if they weren't all full of chicken and corn already. greenpeas all the while, builds an Academy and proceeds to crowd up the dance floor with Marines and Medics. He also erects a starport to ship the bastards off. Once done, the Academy staff spend time figuring out how to make their shot guns shoot "more stuff"; and keep the good ol' boys doped up and dancing. With nowhere to go and still no way to get there, the good ol' boys start eyeballing their cousins. . . Once his Spire slops out of its larval slime, xenomorph. begins hatching Scourge, with an eye to catching a dropship unawares and having his way with it. Several Scourge are soon on patrol along the east and west sides of the Terran island. Zerglings are now hopping with anticipation all over the Zerg floor. Also, their claw sharpening is complete, able extract one pound more flesh than previously; good for eating chicken and corn. The first bit of hip swinging action happens as two Scourge do a flyby of the Terran mineral line, just to say "hi". They pass over just as a nearby Missile Turret completes, to give them a proper welcome. Looking to light them up before they go, one missile gives'em a love tap, and the Scourge complete their flyby and take up station on the east side of the island. Two drones and a handful of jumpy Zerglings are loaded into an Overlord and sent towards the nearest mineral only expansion. Once unloaded, one drone begins morphing a Hatchery, while the other is sent north to morph at the 11:00 expansion node. The new Terran Starport is belching up Dropships. The beat intensifies and the tension builds... Update Center xenomorph. greenpeas Claws: Evolving Infantry Weapons: 0 Carapice: 0 Infantry Armor: 0 Ventral Sacs Stim Pack Zergling Speed U-232 Shells: Researching Finally, after everyone has digested their chicken and corn, and imbibed enough liquid courage, the hoedown begins in earnest. xenomorph. loads up three Overlords full of speedlings and flies them across them map to the west side of the hillbilly encampment. Hoping to keep wandering hands from where their brothers' hands have already been, greenpeas

The infantry unload directly above the burgeoning Hatchery and take a moment to pull up their trousers, after which the Marines Stim, "Yee Haw!", and guns blaze. The few Zerglings in the vicinity try to engage the drunken reverie, but are brought down in a barrage of gauss fire. Under severe fire, the morphing Hatchery is cancelled at the last moment and the drone relegated from beast of burden to statistic.

In swift retaliation, xenomorph. unloads his 3 overlords full of Speedlings on the west side of the hillbillies base of boogie. Energized by chicken and corn, the suped up Zerglings lay down there own burnin' beat and rip into the nearest structures. Several Scourge use the diversion to move in and blow Billy Bo Bob Burns back to Arkansas. The Zerglings are finally cut down, but only after razing a Turret, Control Tower and Science Facility. Cousin Wilford caught the moments on home video:

The group of infantry that took out the first Zerg expansion has been loaded back up and moved to the unguarded north side of the Zerg island. The Terrans pull into town just as 2 more Speedling filled Overlords move out to join a third, now double parked off the west side of the Terran camp. The hicks blow their wad first, however. The Marines unload and make mince meat out of some poor feller's dog. It's a Zergling, Lester; smaller typa Zerg. A small contingent of Zerglings rush up to greet the infantry, only to get mowed down. The Marines hit the crack pipe and move in, just as The Queen's nest completes its morph cycle. Ignoring the new structure for a moment, the Marines focus fire on the nearby Spire. Smelling the chicken and corn, the 3 Zergling stuffed overlords are now speeding back home. The marines raze the Spire and Queen's nest, but then stop to rearrange the furniture, which gives xenomorph. enough time to unload his overlords, form up and let the Zerglings show off their own brand of whoop ass.

xenomorph. immediately slaps down another Queens Nest, seeking Hive level tech. One lone Medic, left over from the drop on the Zerg expansion, too damn ugly a cousin to be allowed back on the ship, wanders north to discover the Zerg expansion at the 11:00 node. greenpeas, knowing the Zerg Dancers are confined to the left side of the map, and feeling it's time to take his bad ass hip shake on the road, begins construction of 2 Command Centers on the east end of his main.

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In the aftermath of the last attack, xenomorph. gathers up more Zerglings, 4 Overlords worth, and morphs his Lair to a Hive, and begins morphing a new Spire. Not idle for long, in addition to beginning Tank manufacturing, greenpeas has loaded up one Dropship, containing another bucket o' country-style lovin', and trucked it off to the 11:00 Zerg expansion. Once again, the Dropship flies right up the center of the map, avoiding all patrolling Scourge, even the ones hanging around with their proverbial thumbs up their proverbial asses. The Dropship stops near the 12:00 main, however, possibly waiting for reinforcements. Before any can arrive, the next round of Zergling Wrangle Up takes place. Placing an empty lead overlord in the van, xenomorph. flies his loaded ones (chicken and corn, remember) into the west side of the Terran island, catching Brother Bill with Sister Sue.

Under fire from 2 Missile Turrets, the lead overlord explodes in a bloody shower of the Colonel's 11 herbs and spices, allowing the others to gain the high ground and begin unloading Zerglings. The first thing in sight is a half built Science Facility, the two Turrets, and refinery, all of which are quickly razed. The majority of the Terran infantry is loaded into Dropships, and not immediately on hand. Well...they may have been "on hand", but were in no, uh, position to repel any Zergling drop. One bunker in the heart of the Terran camp, the "love closet", as most knew it by, stood as the unmovable rock against the oncoming sea of Zerglings. A few additional marines and two unseiged tanks waded through their own creeping urban blight, attempting to get at the ravenous little beasties. Zerglings ripped into standing infantry, bloodying the dance floor. Several set the bunker afire looking for tasty, incestuous morsels inside. Several SCVs vacated their mining duties to contain the blaze and repair the bunker. Many more Zerglings ran past and began shredding the tanks, who were now trying to execute a controlled withdrawal. One solitary marine, shut out of the fun and games proceeding in the love closet, stood his ground until the bitter end, shooting anything that twitched. But alas, in the end, his overalls where not protection enough. Slaughtering the party goers left and right, the Zerglings advanced into the camp, fighting through to the Command Center, indifferent to their huge losses. Every Marine outside the bunker, save one, ended up a magically disappearing red spot on the ground. Both defending tanks were relegated to the scrap heap. The Zergling advance was only eventually stopped by the 4 bunkered marines and a reinforcing tank. Wraiths were ordered forward to reap reprisal on the near floating overlords, chasing them back toward the Zerg main. The attack had been a reckless one, so no additional buildings were lost, but the unit cost had been high. This time, however, Cousin Wilford had his video camera hidden in Cousin Annie's closet.

Whew! Catch yer breath pardners and let's see where y'all at: The dancers take a brief pause at this point to learn some new moves. xenomorph. continues to crank Muties while throwing down a third Hatchery at his main. His Spire begins to research Air Attack upgrade and his Spawning pool looks to make Crack addicts out of all the local Zerglings. The pressures of show biz and all... He has also dropped 2 Drones at the 3:00 main, determined to get an expansion yet.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, greenpeas has begun construction of another Starport, looking at shifting his tech to Wraiths. His 2 previously constructed Command Centers are on the move, one headed for the 5:00 expansion node, and the other to. . . well, well, well. It appears to be heading to the 3:00 main. His expansion killin' force moves out and heads south down the center of the map.

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OK Guys and Gals! Back to the floor! Grab yer partner! Skip to my Lou!

greenpeas lands a Command Center at the 5:00 expansion node about the exact same time xenomorph. begins a Hatchery at the 3:00 main. The second Command Center continues on toward the 3:00 main. greenpeas also orders his expansion killin' contingent toward the center of the map. An unfortunate incident results as a group of Scourge pass overhead en route. Somewhere around this time, xenomorph. cancels the Air Attack upgrade and begins to morph a Greater Spire.

A squad of Wraiths that had been waiting their turn to dosado are ordered toward the Zerg main. They unexpectedly intercept a group of Mutalisks heading toward the battered west border of Hicktown. A brief scuffle ensues before the Wraiths return to the sideline. The Muties don't peruse, but hold off to the west.

This is when greenpeas' second floating Command Center reaches the 3:00 main to find an Overlord and morphing Hatchery. The Command Center does a double take and, as quickly as floating Command Centers are apt to do, performs evasive maneuvers. It reorients its course and begins heading toward the center of the map. However, xenomorph. has seen the Command Center and directs their ass-over-head asses to shuffle step over there. A group of 3 followed by a group of 9, overlords in tow, head toward the drifting school of not-so-modern dance. The Mutalisks intercept the waylaid building and destroy it. A group of hastily loaded infantry from the center of the map are rushed via Dropship to the 3:00 main to reinforce. Sadly, the Dropship is eliminated before any Marines can unload (unload from the ship, at least). Unfortunately for greenpeas, the Command Center meets its demise very near the remaining infantry stationed in the center of the map, and they soon join their brothers and cousins at the big hoedown in the sky. However, 2 Medics are allowed to run off; they assume a position (har) near the 1:00 expansion node.

The Mutalisks take up a defensive position at the 3:00 main. greenpeas has begun construction of a third Starport, and finally begins mining operations at the 5:00 expansion, under the watchful eye of several Wraiths. During the last skirmish xenomorph.'s Greater Spire completed and 5 Mutalisks began transforming into Guardians at his main.

Both players' mains are mined out and peons are transferred, almost simultaneously, to the new expansions at 3:00 and 5:00. greenpeas has given up entirely on Tank production, choosing instead to focus on Wraiths. xenomorph. has made a shift to Mutalisks. However, both are resource starved and need to get their respective expansions running, and soon.

xenomorph., while spawning new Drones and ramping up mining at his expansion, moves his Guardians, accompanied by a few Mutalisks and Overlords, down toward the west side of the Terran campground. He sends 3 Muties from his expansion at the 3:00 main on a quick sweep up and across the map, looking for Terran expansions. Finding none and somehow missing the 2 Medics still standing near the 1:00 expansion node, the scouts join the 5 Guardians and 3 other Muties to the west of the Terran main. greenpeas does what any resource starved, expansionless Terran would do: turtles like an inbred whore.

xenomorph. sends a mass of Mutalisks from 3:00 down to harass SCVs at the 5:00 expansion. They succeed in killing nothing before being driven off by heavy bunker fire (if they only knew how hot it really was in there) and Wraiths. The Muties retreat, taking one casualty.

While greenpeas is loading up 4 dropships with a tank, 2 SCVs, and tons of (now 1/1) infantry, xenomorph. spawns more Scourge, which are sent to reinforce the Muties at 3:00, and takes the opportunity of the momentary peace to begin a new expansion at the 1:00 node; blissfully unaware that the new Hatchery is in plain view of the nearby Medics.

The brief peace ends however, as a squad of Wraiths heads up the middle of the map towards the Zerg infestation at 3:00, followed closely by the 4 Dropships which contain 1 Tanks, Medics, Marines, ugly cousins, SCVs and a few Firebats. The Wraiths park just off the cliff, a little too close, and incite a bunch of Scourge to react. The Scourge are all but eradicated, as the Muties join the fray. The Wraiths redirect their fire as the Dropships move in through the confusion. Not totally wiped however, more Scourge swoop in. Wraiths slowly start to explode and the battle tide suddenly favors the Zerg. Two Dropships, unable to keep pace with the Scourge two stepping, explode before dropping any units. Although taking heavy losses, the Mutalisks have just finished off the Wraiths and turned there attention to the reaming Dropships. However, there are now only 5 Muties left and the Terran infantry have hit the ground running, for a change. The remaining ships have dumped 2 SCVs, 5 Marines, 2 Medics and 2 Firebats. The SCVs immediately set about building Turrets, the Firebat head straight toward the mining Drones, and the Marines focus fire on the remaining Mutalisks. The Muties are quickly dismembered and the infantry move in toward the now undefended buildings.

With no units immediately available to repel the remaining invaders, xenomorph., within seconds of losing all his expansion defenders, counters by moving 5 slow dancing Guardians into range of the Terran main. Newly built Turrets are quickly taken down and the gassy Guardians move inland, supported by 6 Mutalisks. The center of the Terran dance has moved to the 5:00 expansion, and while more Marines had been built, there are only three standing by, not enough to immediately repel the attack. SCVs stop the games of pocket pool and begin hastily constructing more Turrets further inland. The Mutalisks take down the nearest Supply Depot, while the Guardians destroy the Refinery and the now infamous (and stinky) Love Closet, and kill the four marines caught with their britches down. A newly finished Turret begins firing at the Mutalisks, which had bee greedily infecting a hovering Dropship. Guardians soon reduce the Turret to scrap metal, before it can inflict serious damage. The Zerg contingent stills contains 5 Guardians and 4 Mutalisks.

While the attack continues, greenpeas has reinforced his infantry at 3:00 and finished razing the expansion. xenomorph. has spied, the Medics watching his new 1:00 expansion attempt. The Hatchery is complete, and he attacks the Medic with the first Drones, as the 2 have moved down the ramp, presumably to join their comrades that have begun exiting a Dropship immediately below the new Hatchery. The keg is tapped and Marines and Firebats proceed to light up another round of Zerg BBQ.

Back on the home front, Wraiths have finally arrived to put down the Guardian stomp. Total Terran losses the attack: 4 Turrets, 3 Supply Depots, Refinery, and Bunker, along with several Marines and SCVs. greenpeas is still looking good on supply however, at 54/76.

Resource (422 Min, 328 Gas) and unit (16/76 control) starved, with no active mining operations, xenomorph. makes a desperate attempt at the 12:00 main, dropping some drones and a few Zerglings and beginning another Hatchery. However, there. . .on the wind. . . if you listen really close. . . the fat lady has begun to sing. xenomorph. doesn't appear to hear her, however, and continues with his new expansion. greenpeas has begun a new Command Center after cleansing the 3:00 main of Creep. His expansion at 5:00 is still going strong, and he has a squadron of Wraiths on deck. As if that wasn't enough, in typical hillbilly style, he builds another Refinery on the depleted geyser at his main. Um, sure dude...

Deciding to see what's going on with those rascally critters, greenpeas flies 3 cloaked Wraiths into the Zerg main for a little peeping action. The 3 stumble across the Greater Spire and begin to lay waste to it. No matter for xenomorph., however, because for some unknown reason, he has two Spires! A few Mutalisks hang back until new Scourge are spawned, at which point the Muties move forward, and, with the help of an Overlord, engage the Wraiths. Once the Terran ships are distracted, the Scourge move in for the kill, destroying all. The action does not come soon enough to save the Spire, however.

Soon afterward, knowing the Zerg main has been all but abandoned, greenpeas, being the clever boy that he is, scans the 12:00 main, finding the new infestation. Although xenomorph. has a handful of Muties and Scourge on hand, and has built a Hyrdalisk Den, it's too late for an encore. Terran ships mass to the east, the peas of green cloak up, move in, followed swiftly by more infantry, and the lights go out on this performance.