"wow, if i call you, will you be like surrounded with bitches, laughing with them while drinking wine and refreshing the comments section?"
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| 2v2 Cornell - TA vs JG - Game 2 | | | Author: | | | IP: | px2cl.gvXXXX | | Date: | 05/25/00 10:05 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | Famous Reporter(1), Starcraft(1), Great Writing(1), Problem: Broken Images(1) | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 9, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for CynicalMagician: 8.7556 |   | It's everyone's favourite Illustrious Illusionist, the Notorious Necromancer, the Comedic Conjurer, the Overly Sexual Spellcaster, the Horniest Houdini this side of Texas, the CynicalMagician! (Editor's Note: The author may or may not be the reader's favourite of any of the above titles.)
At any rate, I'm back with the latest installment of the 2v2 Cornell tournament. I've also decided to make this report, like my previous ones, fairly narrow at 640 pixels, so as to not offend people with screen resolutions that can't handle 800 pixels. I need all the fan base I can get >). However, I'll offend all the dialups I want. This is an image heavy report with about 1.5 megs worth of funk I believe. I do have a contingency plan though, so while you're waiting for the pics to load you can read this little story before the BR loads.
...meanwhile, not knowing that the evil Bligornians were waiting in the chasm on the surface of Planet X16 of the Cyth system, our hero boldly flew his atomic spacecraft towards the trench. The putrid yellow-green chloride atmosphere obscured his vision, and the going was tough. Strange avian creatures shrieked as he buzzed their leathery nests, and the Conquerer of the Cosmos careened into the gorge.
Suddenly, with the intensity of a firestorm in heat, anti-matter rays crackled through the air, ripping past Sporff's ship. Purple and yellow bolts of pure energy scar the sky, and one strikes the main stabilizer of Sporff's ship. In a whirl of smoke and a maelstrom of starship fuel, Sporff spirals out of control towards the surface of the planet. Is this the deathblow for Spaceman Sporff?
Of course not!! Skidding across the dusty surface of X16 Sporff hangs onto his life, and proves once again that logic has no effect on the truly cool. While avoiding the numerous granite boulders on the canyon floor, Sporff manages to slow down. However, the paint job on the belly of the craft is unfortunately ruined.
Dazed but not downed, Sporff gathers his senses, and peers through the hazy windshield of the intergalatic motorcar. He has ended up wedged in between a rock and a hard place, and the green chloride atmosphere is threatening his life support system, corroding the electronics. Sporff must make a move soon. But what of the Bligornians, those 7 foot tall insectoids who got Sporff in this mess in the first place?
Sporffs musings are quickly put to rest when a boomerang-esque craft soars overtop of him several kilometers up, its robotic eyelits searching this way and that. Apparently it does not see Sporrf, and it disappears beyond the horizon. Sporff takes this time to make his escape from his ship and hopefully make it to the end of the canyon, where Princess Majung resides. He dons his hostile environment suit and readies a blaster launcher with 3 shells. In addition to this he places a plasma pistol and a vibro-blade in his belt. If the Bligornians want him, he's going to make it difficult.
Sporff presses the big red button with a flourish, and the lid of the cockpit rises with a woosh as the poisonous gas seeps into his derelict ship. After climbing on top of one of the nearby boulders he holds a steely gaze over the terrain and checks his bearings. He must head north. After establishing this, Sporff leaps off the boulder and makes his descent to the ground with an acceleration of 2.3 m/s squared, about 1 quarter of Earth's gravity. He touches down sending a shockwave of dust from his footprints, and starts the trek.
Will Sporff make it to the Princess? What else do the Bligornians have up their sleeve? Tune in next BR to find out!!
Eat cliffhanger! Ha ha! Anyway, by now the pics should have hopefully loaded, so hold onto your ass and get ready for the ride of your evening! (Editor's Note: If you want this to actually be the ride of your evening, don't read any other BR's, or do anything remotely exciting.)
 Map: Ashirigo
Game Style: Brood War
Players:
[TA]Ramius - Zerg - Southwest
[TA]SlayerJu - Protoss - Southeast
vs
ryuooki - Zerg - Northwest
rompwomp - Protoss - Northeast
For those who don't know, Ashirigo is a land based map with 1 island expansion in the middle. It is practically unrushable, with large cliffs and twisty trails between start positions. Both zerg players took advantage of this fact going early expansion to their naturals. The protoss are slightly different, with [TA]SlayerJu doing the revolutionary build order involving 2 gates, and rompwomp going for speed robofac, building only 1 gate and some cannons while teching.
By now both zerg have continued dancing to the same beat, starting both an extractor and a pool at roughly the same time. ryuooki is slightly ahead of [TA]Ramius though, as his pool finishes while his opponents is at 350/750.
Eventually both of the neato ponds are in place, and sunkens take shape at expansions. A scouting ling from ryuooki discovers whats going down in [TA]Ramius's pad, and his life is quickly ended by some impromtu surgery.
Here the zerg build orders start to differ. [TA]Ramius appears to be going for a strong land based army, while ryuooki is going air madness. Guessing this, [TA]Ramius morphs an evo chamber and a couple spore colonies near his soon-to-be lair to prevent peon harassment.
Meanwhile, rompwomp has kept leading the tech race, and has recently unveiled the brand new, luxurious, 2000 SHUTTLE!! With this chromed carriage he drops off a probe on the center exp, saving it for later. He also produces a couple reavers, and loads them up in the aforementioned levitating limosine and flies off to [TA]Ramius's base, hoping to cause a ruckus.
These reavers are fairly boisterous, and make the scene for quite a while, busting up drones and hydras alike until finally being dispatched. Wary of a combo attack, [TA]SlayerJu sends a 6 or 7 unit pack of goons and zealots to his allies base. This proves to be a good idea, as 6 mutas are on their way down from ryuooki's base. They proceed to do a bit of damage before being recruited by the local boxing champ. They are forced to join [TA]SlayerJu's goons in everyone's favourite game...
The mutas are soon scared off by the dragoons. Once again, [TA]SlayerJu has pulled through for his partner. However, his efforts to take this game by storm have not been solely at his Kerriganic companion's base. He has started the warping of a pyramoidal pimpin' pad at his natural, and has teched up a bit. With a newly built shuttle he flies a probe to the center island, unaware of rompwomp's robotic compatriot who is also residing there. In a rare moment of comedy in SC (Editor's Note: Heh. Rare.) both players start building pylons on the island without knowing about the other. Soon the pylons complete, and a vicious battle ensues.
 This is the second conflict that [TA]SlayerJu, as he kills the would-be-cannon with a goon that is ferried over. However, this is the first trouble spot that he has entirely put to rest, not the second. Remember those mutas that [TA]SlayerJu scared off? Well, they're back, and they just kicked the ass of one of [TA]Ramius's overlords before disappearing into the sunset.
 About now, rompwomp has started a nexus at his natural expansion, and [TA]SlayerJu started making the center island impregnable. He has also fortified it with 2 cannons, a dragoon, and a reaver. The reaver is obviously there for anti-reaver protection, since the opposing protoss has already demonstrated the fact that he can drop bundles of joy at will.
Speaking of joy, a large stream of it has started to seep out from both Jungle Groove players, and has begun its trek to the plateau outside [TA]Ramius's base. Mutas, lings, dragoons, and zealots are all on their way to contain the beast. The protoss half of this force is detected by one of [TA]SlayerJu's suicide scouts, and with this development the Tarsonis Academy knows that stuff is going to go down. Forces are mobilized on both sides of the border. [TA]Ramius has not been idle since the near-death experience he had at his main, he has built a couple sunkens at his natural and has also morphed a lurker or two. These are stationed near the ramp into his base, which is soon to become a site of massive conflict.
In the time it takes ryuooki's troops to arrive at their destination, ryuooki begins growing a hatchery at the 9:00 resource patch. He also starts up a queens nest, and since he already has mutas, we all know what that means. Eventually, the construction phase is over, and the Jungle Groove forces are lying in wait outside [TA]Ramius's base.
An impressive force indeed. After scouting [TA]Ramius's base though, the force's morale is diminished somewhat, as they realize they don't have one critical element in the war against lurkers... detection. rompwomp has not started observer construction yet, and to make matters worse ryuooki's OL's are not speed upgraded yet. So, the invasion is put on hold while OL's are brought forward from the heart of ryuooki's base. Seeing how long this is going to take, ryuooki expresses his displeasure.
This is going to take a while folks. 96 tiles of map is a LONG way for unspeeded OL's to travel, but unfortunately it is the only way. Even though OL's are clearly needed, Jungle Groove does not have the time for these kind of shinanigans. Hence, several small 'attacks' are made, with 3-4 goons and 2-3 zealots meeting their doom. This gives the Tarsonis Academy plently of time to get their forces arranged, with about 12 hydras, 2 lurkers, 2 sunkens, 6 goons and 2 templar defending the expansion. Eventually though, the OL's get there, somewhat behind schedule, but with an excuse.
And after contemplating waiting for the OL's to move fully over the tense battlefield, rompwomp gives the order to attack, and the wrath of the containment force is released from its manacles on the plateau.
However, the attack goes poorly for several reasons. 1) The teammates did not attack at the same time, with the protoss force going in first, and the mutas waiting behind for a few seconds. 2) The forward protoss troops could not combat the lurkers as the OL's were not moved overtop the battlefield, but hung back. 3) [TA]Ramius's troops troops were laid out in a very defensive position. Soon the containment force is no more, and [TA]Ramius is free to wander the map like a kid in some kind of store.
All the players but ryuooki take some time now to expand. [TA]Ramius exploiting his newfound freedom by expanding to the 6:00 node, and [TA]SlayerJu at the 3:00 node. Following suit, rompwomp takes the 12:00 spot. All the resources on the map have now been claimed, so any new economic benefits that a player wants are going to come at a price.
About now, [TA]Ramius decides to scout around, and gets a glimpse of ryuooki's 9:00 expansion. The meagre force of hydras he sent out on patrol is quickly driven off by mutas though. He retreats to the relative safety of his base and broods over this info.
While he is doing so, rompwomp begins an interesting play by starting a pylon on the ridge above [TA]SlayerJu's natural expansion. He also has a reaver and two observers stationed at the firebase. However, when one of the two doorbells gets a little two close to the cannon the jig is up, and [TA]SlayerJu realizes what's going on. Rather than sending real troops to deal with the threat though, [TA]SlayerJu starts his own pylon on the cliff near the opposition. Oddly enough, rompwomp's reaver has found other things to do, and has left, never to return.
Six mutas that were, I'm assuming, going to help out with rompwomp's firebase are intercepted by [TA]SlayerJu's stationary island expansion. Not expecting thick resistance from 2 templar, 1 goon and 2 cannons, the mutas turn tail and flee. In this way, the second episode of Cannon Clash is left to the cannons. rompwomp's cannon finishes first, and starts pounding on [TA]SlayerJu's pylon. [TA]SlayerJu quickly tires of this, and drops a reaver off to kill the cannon and the support pylon.
In other news, something with a real live raison d'etre is happening (Editor's Note: Loosely translated: something that isn't pointless is happening). On the western edge of the map, the Tarsonis Academy has begun the moving of an army. A travelling column is stretched across a screen or so, and about 12 hydras and 4 goons are carefully making their way to ryuooki's 9:00 expansion. ryuooki sees this, and sends his force of mutas directly into the center of the army. Sleep now in the fire, in the words of Rage Against the Machine. The mutas, caught between two capable armies, are crushed. This leaves ryuooki's 9:00 expansion unguarded, and therefore dead.
At this juncture, both zerg players decide to build a couple of my favourite unit ever, queens. I was so impressed by this that I had to make a little tribute to queens, naming them after one of the most subtly sexual shows on TV, Xena.
It turned out later that these queens would prove to be important in an upcoming battle. The battle that is about to happen actually. rompwomp has, for the last few minutes, been quietly building up a force of zealots, dragoons, and templar. These he moves out of his base, and masses them just north of the island expansion. In due time, he starts moving them on to [TA]SlayerJu's 3:00 expansion.
[TA]SlayerJu, spotting this force with one of his observers, calls for the aid of his partner. [TA]Ramius smiles and sends his finest units to [TA]SlayerJu's expansion. These units are: (drumroll) 3 queens, 2 OL's, and 6-8 hydras. Although this does not seem like much, these units are used in one of the best examples of teamwork on the micro level that I've ever seen.
This tactic was basically this: [TA]Ramius would ensnare the oncoming units, and [TA]SlayerJu would storm them. However, this is far easier said than done. To work together on the same units at the same time, all while dealing with latency, is a very difficult task at best. Tarsonis Academy pulled it off beautifully though, decimating the ranks of rompwomp, leaving only a green and blue gooey mess behind.
Battered but not broken is the name of the game today though, as both members of Jungle Grooves climb up to the top of the aerial tech ladder. Guardians and Carriers. Soon 3 or 4 carriers have been made, and interceptors are being constructed as fast as possible. The guardians finish first however, and start pounding on an outlying pylon. The cat is out of the bag.
 And here comes the pound. 3 corsairs produced from [TA]SlayerJu brand spanking new stargates join in the fray, and eventually kill the guardians after thumping through 3 levels of carapace. Also joining in the fray are 5 carriers from rompwomp. These take down almost all of the probes mining at [TA]SlayerJu's 3:00 expansion, and also take down a couple cannons. Soon 5 more corsairs come forth and start beating on the carriers, and after losing 2 of their number, rompwomp's carriers retreat.
By now, [TA]Ramius has taken the ex-ryuooki expansion at 9:00, and 12 hydras are guarding it, accompanied by some OL's. This is ryuooki's 3 source of income, his natural mined out, and the other player's main's depleted.
With what money they still have, Jungle Grooves starts another force consisting of guardians and carriers. Of course, its all well and good to have a large airforce, but what good are weapons, when you can't attack your enemy?
This is the question that [TA]SlayerJu is hoping that Jungle Grooves has not answered as he sends a lone dark templar towards the 12:00 resource spot, which is owned by rompwomp. And we now see what happens when you mix probes and dark templar, broiled in a healthy dose of non-detection.
Needless to say, the results are not pretty. With 1 of his only 2 resource patches gone, rompwomp realizes that team Jungle Grooves is on the brink of death. ryuooki knows this also, and launches an attack of about 24 lings on his old expansion. Unfortunately he fails to send detection and is butchered by the lurker, and 3 hydras that are on guard duty.
With this last assault thwarted, Jungle Grooves realizes there is no hope, and concedes the game, and the match to Tarsonis Academy. A very well played match with lots of action, and some incredibly intense battles. Now lets check out the scores.
Lessons Learned
1) My god don't piss these guys off, they will rock your SC world.
2) Teamwork is important for offense and defense.
3) Ditto for map control.
4) Do lots of scouting, believe it or not, it works.
5) Send detection with all your units, especially as zerg. You've got OL's all over anyway, use 'em!
6) I reeeeaaalllllyyyyyy like Photoshop 5.5 and Eyecandy. When I first saw the glass filter, I had an image-editing orgasm.
Anyway, this concludes the match of JG and TA. TA moved onto the next round to face JC. The next BR should be out when I get around to sorting through all my screens and all that. I'm looking forward to writing it when I get some time. Actually, I'm mostly looking forward to continuing the adventures of Spaceman Sporff, but whatever. Speaking of which, can you spot the various influences that played a role in the production of Sporff? There are 5 or 6 I think. But alas, I am rambling, so I'll cut out with my traditional ender. Til next time,
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