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-Whoop
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| Look Ma! I'm a Hacker!! | | | Author: | | | IP: | 24.69.11XXXX | | Date: | 05/04/00 08:05 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 5, Min: 4
Lifetime Rating for Wordbird: 5.3333 |   | After a long period of getting owned on both temple, and BGH (it turns out that marines die instantly to lurkers, even if you are churning them out of 8 barracks....) I was getting close to shooting my computer with the Kalishnakov I keep under my bed, and calling it a night. Suddenly though, Felt_Master (Name has been changed to protect identity) yelled out with a titanic roar: 2v2 Polaris Prime Anyone?. Since that is my favourite map of all time, I grab my sweetheart (partner) RodeoClownNo.12 by the hand, and sign up for the upcoming battle. We play side by side on the map fairly often, and I've been wanting to try out a new strat or two on it for a while anyway. So, without further adeiu, here it is:
Wordbird & RodeoClownNo.12
vs
VGA-20001 & Felt Master
Look Ma! I'm a Hacker!!
Map: Polaris Prime
SC Style: Brood War
Wordbird - Center Right - Terran
RodeoClownNo.12 - Top Left - Protoss
vs
Felt_Master - Bottom Right - Zerg
VGA-20001 - Top Right - Protoss
PreGame Technicalities
So we manage to join game bah/humbug without too much trouble, and while in the chat room, me and RodeoClownNo.12 spice up the night with our random chatter.
RodeoClownNo.12: Are y'all ready for this?
Wordbird: I'm ready for sex.
RodeoClownNo.12: Sex?
Wordbird: And drugs.
RodeoClownNo.12: And crime.
Wordbird: And porno.
RodeoClownNo.12: LOTS of porno.
Wordbird: Mounds of it.
Felt_Master: I'm going, k?
RodeoClownNo.12: and drugs.
Wordbird : Of of course drugs.
RodeoClownNo.12: But what about the children?
Wordbird: Screw the children, I want sex, drugs and....
RodeoClownNo.12: ROCK AND ROLL!
Felt_Master: I'm going now!!
This incapacitating banter continued for a while, until Felt_Master finally got up the nerve to press start. Editor's Note: This kind of talk can get you banned from many a game. MANY a game actually.
Anyway, we kept on living in our own special world until he started, at which point I picked zerg, RodeoClownNo.12 protoss, and our opponents did the same, picking their races in the same manner. Or so it seems. Busting a mega move at the last second, I want to test my theory that picking random=terran, so I grab random with only seconds to spare.
And guess what. I'm right! Random=Terran. I regale the members of the game with this fact, and RodeoClownNo.12 aptly replies: You must have the random hack. I agree with him, and after some akward silence, I start playing the game properly.
The Build-UP
For those that don't know the map, here is a quick overview: Every one of the 6 starts is on an island, and in the middle of the map is 1 massive platform, with 2 great big resource patches in the exact center. Also, in between each start spot are 8 patch, 1 vent expansions. There are several 4 patch bases, as well as 2 vent only bases. It is a large map at 192x192, meaning that any rush tactic is hard to pull off. Anyway, check it out. It rocks the casbah for 2v2s, 3v3s, and ffa's. Too big for 1v1's though, unfortunately, or I would marry it. On with the game though.
Now, I'm not very good with terran, never really prefering the stupid rednecks, but I decide that I'm going to go the way that every island map terran goes, droptech, then wraiths. My partner is also a fairly traditional protoss player, going for templar, reavers, and early expansion. A wise choice on Polaris prime, as its size makes an early attack somewhat difficult.
So, I proceed to go 8 gas 9 depot, 11 barracks, factory, academy, 2 starports. At some point before I have any marines, an OL flies over, alerting me to the fact that there is a zerg player below me. Hoping to catch him off guard, I load up 2 of my best dropships with 3 vultures, 7 marines, and 3 medics. I have stim upgraded. I also have 1 wraith to act as a scout. Going for a dual drop, RodeoClownNo.12 says he will contribute to the madness with a couple reavers. Of course, he is a panicky little fellow, and in the middle of sending his troops down, decides that he wants to make sure yellow hasn't expanded beside him. I sigh and continue on my little attack.
It proved that the wraith was a good idea, as he spotted the line of spore colonies along the top of the island long before my dropships were in any danger. I sigh, realizing its going to be one of THOSE games. I try to find my way around the spores, and although I could have landed, any attack would have been futile, as several lurkers can be seen morphing below. So, instead, I decide to drive my mobile pimp-squad to the bottom expansion, and I find a naked hatchery building. I let it finish, and soon, in a flurry of grenades and a drug-induced frenzy of bullets, there is just a weird looking wormy thing on the ground.
RodeoClownNo.12 has taken this as a hint that he should expand, and does so to the position south of him. He also finally remembers the shuttle with the 2 reavers in it by the top expansion spot, and sends it to take a peek, on a little scout mission. He is not disappointed as he finds VGA-20001 in the process of warping 2 pylons, 1 nexus, and an assimlator. So, he unloads his 2 reavers, and for the next few minutes razes the base, forcing VGA-20001 to cancel his buildings. He does lose about 300 on the pylons and assimilator.
Back at my own base, I have kept building wraiths, and have about 4 now. I send all these to keep an eye on Felt_Master, and make sure no trouble comes my way by the air (this is about 10 or 12 minutes into the game. That information will come in handy later). My dropships return, and deliver an SCV to the exp north of me to build a depot (I didn't have enough money for a CC, and I needed supply. He was the only idle SCV, so thats why I went depot CC to expand...) and then a CC. I fortify with my dropforce, and when it finishes, I send a few SCV's up on Air-Maynard. With my added economy, I slowly build 3 factories and another starport, all the while building vultures, tanks and wraiths like a bureaucrat setting up poor spending plans.
I keep sending my wraiths to the area just north of Felt_Master's base to make sure no drops come my way. Once I have 5 in that area, I start rallying them to my expansion. Only I send those wraiths a bit too late, and they are unable to help me defend my expansion from the massive force that rumbles into my view... wait for it..... 4 LINGS AND A LURKER!! YEAH!!! After killing 6 marines, I scan and kill the lurker with a few vultures that are grooving around. This marks Felt_Master's 1 and only attack where I lost units of the game.
After taking the time to rebuild from this tremendous, EARTH SHATTERING assault (LoL), I upgrade my vultures with mines and better engines so that I can make sure no expansions will appear without my knowing. A surly vulture busts a move across the map, and places mines at the bottom left, and bottom expansions, before careening to the center. He was hoping to put a mine there too, but unfortunately, there is a VGA-20001 base in the way. Damnit. That's going to have to be removed.
RodeoClownNo.12 loads up his two reavers, and heads on down to the base, after I remark that the cannons are making it hard for my 2 wraiths to kill the base on their own. With the infinite calm only demonstrated before by wildabeasts in the Savana, RodeoClownNo.12 yells: SASSY GIRLS! and lets loose a barage of scarabs. I soon arrive on the scene with 6 more wraiths, 4 tanks, and 3 vultures. The expansion falls almost instantly.
But wait! Like a magician, Felt_Master has a couple tricks left up his sleeve. In another display of his massive macro, Felt_Master attacks the occupation force with 4 mutas and an OL. After seeing my wraiths, the mutas retreat, but not before I injure 2, and kill the OL, without losing any of my units.
Uh oh spaghetti Oh... That was just a rouse. The true force is on its way up to my base in 2 OL's. But how do I know about this? Well, remember the 5 wraiths I had at the side of the map all this time? Well, they finally paid off, and the 2 OL's with whatever cargo they had go down in a puff of blood, sex, sugar and magik. But, like a true lady, Felt_Master does everything in threes. He sends 1 more OL, and unloads 4 hydras on a small platform near where my wraiths are stationed. The wraiths come under fire, but I retreat them quickly, just out of range. Now, since Felt_Master is a truly epic player, he proceeds to load up his OL, and send it UP INTO THE WRAITH SWARM! This dies almost instantly, and the blimp crashes, echoing across the space platform. My hysterical laughter follows. These guys are good.
RodeoClownNo.12 has not been idle either, and has built roughly 5000 dragoons out of his first expansion, and has expanded to a total of 3 bases in varied places of the map. About now, one of my other moves has paid off, with a vulture of mine spotting an OL floating slowly past. I quickly send a crack squad of 2 wraiths down to kill the pulsating sac, and console my opponents.
Wordbird: Expansions are overrated anyway. Dont worry about it man.
This unfortunately does not console him, and he proceeds to yell at me.
Felt_Master: You're a hacker, I know it! How else would you know about that OL?
Wordbird: I guess me seeing it fly over my vulture was my first tip.
Felt_Master: You dont have any mines or vultures, mr. hacker.
Wordbird: Yes I do! Look! (I give him vision for a sec)
Felt_Master: Fuck you hacker. You dont have shit. What about the wraiths on the side then?
Wordbird: Those have been there the whole game!! (this is about 20 minutes after I put them there)
Felt_Master: stupid hacker.
RodeoClownNo.12: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaha.
Wordbird: I'm not a hacker, you're just a massive chobo. A white chobo. Thats the worst kind.
RodeoClownNo.12: hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaha chug.
Wordbird: tee hee.
RodeoClownNo.12: ha.
So, I guess his main had been mined out, and so Felt_Master left the game. I giggled like a schoolgirl, and then something shocked me.
VGA-20001: You're a hacker.
He hadn't said a word the whole game, and finally I realized why. This ego-destroying insult was what he had been saving up this whole time. I bit my tongue to keep from crying, and soon after VGA-20001 leaves the game.
So, after I got myself a new pair of pants (I had soiled myself by now), I left the game a little bit older, and a little bit wiser.
Lessons Learned:
1) Keeping control of the center platform is the key to polaris. We were able to kill all opposition BEFORE it could start on the main, just by making sure we caught things in the bud.
2) Make lots of units, not stupid buildings. Yellow made MAYBE 10 fighting units, and I don't think he ever used them. Red made several more, but only inflicted about 7 casualties.
Other Observations:
1) I'm not very good with terran, but even so, I only lost 7 units the whole game. 6 marines, and 1 medic, compared to me killing 40 or 50.
2) Lamers are funny.
3) This is a smurf account. Guess what my regular BR name is. And also, guess who the players I fought were. (their names were changed). I've left several hints in the writing.
Til next time,
-Wordbird
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