"Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."
-Heartcutter
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| The Great NH Experiment, Part I: Mog the Hacker | | | Author: | | | IP: | dialup04XXXX | | Date: | 04/08/00 05:04 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for Sp|nE: 9.5000 |    |
Go mog go
Intro
Hey hey. Knowing that i have pretty
much achieved everything that i wanted to as a BR'er, i have decided to from now on, just
do these when i feel like it, or in this case, when i have what i think is a pretty damned
good idea. It actually occured to me a month or two ago. We all know that the skill level
of NHers has gone from good (a year or so ago) to decent, to nowadays, downright pathetic.
Caused mainly by completely overadvertising the precense of a channel where good players
can play games on non hunters maps, as well as the popularity of this website, it has
resulting in turning nh pickup games into a complete joke, with newbies running around
complaining about how much they suck while saying how godly i am (heh heh, not that i mind
it =). So anyway ...
Our story begins on a dark and stormy night, right at about the time of the witching
hour, midnight. Consumed with bloodlust, i had chopped my family into small pieces with a
large scythe, and threw them into a pot. Noting that the recipe said "boil for one
hour", i cursed and just decided to satisfy my need for blood by going on bnet ... or
something close to that. Anyway, after washing off my canines with some anti septic (they
were dripping with blood and flesh), i saw the well known dou of Zurj.Mog and Zurj.Bob
(Mogalin and Bob the Newt) laughing at the idiocy of some nh newbies. It turns out that
they had just played them in a 2v2, and crushed them so completely miserably that the
newbies were CONVINCED that Mog and Bob had been hacking. A rematch was demanded, and
seeing the opportunity for a pretty amusing game, i joined in and decided to obs. Knowing
that a 2v2 would result in an even larger massacre than the one i just committed, i said
"why doesn't Mog 1v2 them?". So it was done. We will see if 2 of the 'average'
Nohunters players can defeat 1 good Nohunters player. Bob and i settle in as the
observers, and off we went ...
Let the experiment begin!
Mog will have to defeat the NHers in order for the experiment to be a
success. Will he be able to? Only time, and how many 8's Praetor gives me, will tell.
Map: Temple (yeah yeah i know)
Players:
Zurj.Mog (Mog) picks toss, gets 12
47401 (Numbers) randoms to zerg at 9
|Cannibal| (Cannibal) randoms to terran at 6
There's not much to analyze race-wise here. Either Mog beats them
someway, or they overrun him with numbers and win. However, i will say that Mog
lucked out a bit as far as the races he was facing goes. As toss, the units needed vs zerg
and terran are pretty much similiar, while vs toss it's a bit different (but not much =). Mog
also benefited from the fact that none of his opponents were at 3. This, if he acts smart,
will allow him to take all 3 expansions at 3 for himself. Also, if a terran opponent were
at 3, he could just seige up Mog easily, occupying him while the other player powers
hard and overruns him.
Unfortunately, the game pretty much had no action until the 15 minute mark, so all i
can pretty much do is amuse you with what buildings they made.
Note - Newbieish things like early sunkens and bunkers ommitted due to laziness, since
there were a lot of them.
Mog does a fairly standard build, going gate, gas, core, gate, going
for early goons, a good idea vs any race since goons are 100% broken. He continues to mass
goons from 2 gates while expanding to his natural, getting a citadel, temp archives,
starport, AND fleet beacon. He eventually expands to the 3 o clock natural, and starts
slowly making carriers from one starport!
Cannibal does the 10/9 gas trick, then gets a 2nd hatch at his main, pool,
and a 3rd hatch at his ramp. He then begins massing lings, while getting an evo chamber,
lair, and eventually hydra den. Cannibal next gets a queenie nest and a hive, going for the
dreaded "crax" rush, while expanding to his natural.
Numbers goes for quick tech, getting a rax, gas, and engineering bay. He
then floats his rax to his choke for a wall-in type thing, builds a factory, a second rax,
and turret. After this, he constructs a CC in his main, eventually floating it to the
island. And finally, he builds a starport, and another factory, going for a mix of tanks
and infantry.
Finally, the silence is broken when i see that Numbers has
loaded up some tanks and other various goodies into 3 dropships, planning for a classic
turbo newbie. He sends his dropship north east, eventually getting to the 3 o clock main
ramp. Unfortunately for him, he runs smack dab into 4 cannons that Mog
has placed there for the future when he figures he will expand there. But thanks to Numbers' gosu micro, he only loses one dropship. The remaining 2 hook around the cannons
and get safely to Mog's natural, where 2 tanks slowly blast away at the
nexus, while the probes merely run to the 3 o clock natural.
Mog doens't bother to kill that off for now though. He has bigger
things to worry about -  namely killing one of his
opponents, and he chooses the temptous Cannibal. About 2 1/2 sets of mixed infantry (mostly goons),
a couple obs, and 2 mighty carriers barge rather rudely into Cannibal's
natural, to find about 40 cracklings and a couple lurkers. Now despite having a | in his
name which would normally make him very gosu, Cannibal hasn't yet realized
that lings and lurks dont attack air. So needless to say, the infantry and carriers waste Cannibal's lings, with only about a set (maybe less) of Mog's infantry
dieing.
However, the tide begins to turn. Cannibal continues to kamazaki  lings into the goons, slowly killing them one by one, despite the fact that
lings can't attack carriers. And eventually, he does succeed, leaving only the carriers
behind. Those 2 carriers keep hitting things with their bitches (interceptors), until Numbers finally shows up with some tanks (who knows), goliaths, and infantry. The
carriers actually do pretty good, using the cliff to their advantage, until he notices
that Cannibal is kamakazing a lot of lings into his base - so he decides that
it'd be best to go back home with his 2 carriers with about 50 combined kills.
Following this, (well actually it was sort of during, but i don't have a better place
to put it), the players expand and do other happy things. Mog has added 4
more gates, bringing his total to 6, while expanding to his mineral only, while Numbers takes his an expansion as well, his natural. Cannibal had
made a spire somewhere back that i happened to miss, and is now morphing it into the
bestest spire in the whole wide world!
Numbers also decides to push his team's luck a bit, and so
he attacks with about a set of infantry and like 5 tanks. This turns out, of course, to do
somewhere near the approximate total of jack shit, as Mog's zeals
simply overran the infantry, and then poked away at the tanks. He also placed one pathetic
storm, which did nothing but take away the life of about 6 of his zealots. This, i feel,
may somehow turn out to be a common theme through out this game.
Hes only good b/c he hacks
Despite dieing pretty sadly to some mixed infantry,  Numbers did successfully stall Mog, letting his incompetant partner Cannibal kamazaki a couple sets or so of cracklings into Mog's mineral
only. Despite some carriers raining down fire with their lazer beam thingies, the lings
were able to kill the nexus. Cannibal follows this up by using his newly made scourge vs
the carriers, which is under normal circumstances, a smart move. However, he found out
that attack moving scourge into carriers often makes the scourge run into the
interceptors. Yep, he sure showed those interceptors good.
Meanwhile, Numbers has been slowly massing his army,  rallying them to Mog's 3 o clock natural exp. 3 tanks and a a few rines and
meds gather there, and Mog, not pleased with the enemy intrusion, sends a small
force of a few speedy zeals and a temp to deal with them. And thanks to an actual
successful storm, he was able to have a cost effective battle, killing all but a tank and
a goliath, and injuring a couple newly made valks that Numbers has
made, which people still think are good vs carriers despite the fact that they do about 1
damage once they get past the shields.
Mog decides to harass (sexually of course) Cannibal with
his carriers, being as annoying as possible to hanging over his cliff at his natural. But Cannibal figures out that scourge work better vs carriers when you attack the carriers,  so Mog is forced to retreat his 2 carriers (which now have
about 75 kills combined), without doing too much damage. Numbers
continues to power, grabbing his mineral only natural. His moderate sized army continues
to gather at Mog's natural, but again, Mog simply
kamazakis about 10 speedy, upgraded zeals into a couple tanks, a few goliaths, and about 8
mixed infantry. The frantically microing Numbers finds out that he is
nothing compared to the godly attack moving power of his toss enemy, and his troops fall,
once again. However, the goliath/medic combo that he had at the end of the battle was
pretty cool.
After these INTENSE battles, the players take a small breather to build up their forces
and wank it. Mog only needs one hand to wank it though (he's canadian
... small genetalia),  so he was able to do some annoying things.
First, he finally got rid of the turbo newbie at his natural with his 2 bitch king
carriers, and expands to the 3 o clock main. However, one of those pesky valks was finally
able to kill one with its mighty russian missle things. Mog also
figured it'd be a good idea to teach these nhers what it truly takes to hang in that
channel, by doing a gay templar storm drive by, choosing Cannibal's
natural. Of course his first storm missed, but about freshly made mutas came to get rid of
the templar. And with truly ingenius micro, one storm commences to kill about 9 of the
mutas, making a spectacular mess of blood and mixed organs in the process.
Numbers still persists in trying to destroy Mog's 3 o clock
bases, and keeps rallying his units just outside that area.  And again, (for like the third time i think it is?), Mog
sets off with about 15 or so zealogoons to get rid of the intruders. And again again, Numbers finds out that a medic:rine ratio of 3:1 doesn't work out too well, and the lone
tank and few goliaths do little to stop the goons either. Cannibal has a
revelation though, realizing that Mog doesn't hack, but that he himself simply sucks ass. Mog
also expands to the north west island, and retakes his natural, giving him 4 expansions
(but just 1 operational one).
Mog continues
to be aggressive and take the initiative, deciding to do "Psi raid, part 2". He
lands the templar on Numbers' natural ridge, and gets off 2 solid storms, killing
a good 11 scvs. Meanwhile, Cannibal actually expands AGAIN to his mineral only, which
gives him 2 expansions!! Amazing! This gives him 2 exps, his partner Numbers 3, and Mog 4.
Mog has bad pretty consistant control of this game, and he decides to
hit one of his opponents with a finishing blow. However, Numbers and Cannibal have been planning the same thing. Mog moves his 2 carriers, 18 or
so mixed infantry, and 6 temps to the middle, at the temple. Once there, Cannibal and Numbers' troops notice them and move into the kill. However,
they are pretty much completely uncoordinated with their attack, with Cannibal kamakazaing about 30 or 40 lings that die pretty sadly to Mog's infantry and carriers. But then Mog catches the blitzkreig
fever (notable symptoms include having squinty eyes and having genetalia even smaller than
the members of the 51st state ... er i mean canada), throwing his troops at Numbers' now HUGE army. First Mog throws his zeals at Numbers' 18 or
so goliaths, 24 medmarines, and 5 tanks, with the zeals of course dieing. Then he really
scares Numbers by sending his templar at them, getting off a couple of
absolutely pathetic storms that were so bad i couldn't include a pic of them because they
were that far off the screen. The carriers then die to his large amount of goliaths, and
the goons are cleaned up by newly made cracklings.
Probe is an immature
dipshit
There's yer nasty derogoritory chapter for this BR. But dipshit is the coolest word. I
can't stop saying it. Dipshit. Dipshit. Dipshit.
Anyway you dipshits, after that
dipshit Mog lost his troops in the center, our faithful NH team was finally
able to kill Mog's 3 o clock natural exp thanks to some cracklings and hydras from Cannibal. But alas, he pushed his luck too much and dared to test Mog's burly 4 cannons guarding the ramp to the 3 main.
While staring at Numbers' massive army of about 3 sets of infantry, a set of
goliaths, 6 tanks and an SV, i notice Mog moving his force out, using, as the pretty picture
says, the 'gosu tactic of moving your troops by'. I don't know if he did it purposefully
or not, but about 14 goons and a couple carriers got to Cannibal's
main, easily killing first his mineral only, and then natural. Numbers reacts slowly to
this, and is stalled even more when Mog continues to kamakazi zeals and goons into Numbers' large force, stalling him so much that he realizes that trying to save his
pathetic partner is useless. He does however, kill the carriers with some cloaked wraiths.
But soon enough, Cannibal's main becomes a wasteland, and the game is now a 1v1.
 Knowing that
Numbers is right outside of Mog's base, Mog decides to do something
toss-like (gay) to downsize Number's large army. You guessed it ... templar. Mog
kamakazis about 8 or so speedy zeals into Numbers' large army, not
killing much - but a single templar, given impunity from the tanks since the zeals were
having fun dieing, was able to cast it's deadly storms, killing a whole set of troops.
Unfortunately i was unable to see what specific troops they were, since i was watching Mog's goons fight some larva.
Despite all this, Numbers is standing his ground. He still has a superior
troop count than Mog (slightly), and continues to rally his troops to the
spot just in front of Mog's main. Not like it matters though - Mog has storm.
He starts mixing in a few dts with his zeals now, and this combo proves to be effective,
causing Numbers to waste comstats and just generally piss him off.
Then the templar come in, and storms are plentiful. After about 3 storms, and more dts and
zeals kamakazing, Numbers' once proud and massive army is reduced to shambles,
with only a few medics left healing eachother pleasurably.
Mog still had those goons that he used to finish off Cannibal (who left the game by now), about 12 of em. So he figured, since they were close
enough to Numbers' base, that he might as well use em on the
offensive. So he sends his goons down to Numbers' mineral only, where he
finds it very lightly defended. The goons, with their range, are able to pick off a few
depots and a turret, as well as a few scvs. However, Numbers'
reinforcements continue to pour in, with his infantry and goliaths wearing down the goons
enough for a couple tanks to finish them off. Mog follows this failure up with another
failure, blindly sending in about 8 zeals, which die badly to infantry, goliaths, tanks,
and wraiths, and a mighty mighty scv.
Following this, both players expand. Numbers takes the 9 o clock mineral only, and Mog
takes the 3 o clock natural (again). Numbers also moves out to go on the offensive, yet again
heading to that 3 o clock natural, seiging up about 8 tanks, along with a set and a half
of infantry, and a few wraiths and goliaths. But alas - he falls prey yet again to the
masterful strategy employed by Mog known as "running past the tanks". Mog
simply runs his 2 sets of zeals and goons, and a couple temps, due south on the map to Numbers' mineral only, while keeping Numbers' tank army busy with a couple of carriers. This
enables Mog to bust out the gosu and kill Numbers' nearly
dry mineral only without casulties. He moves onto Numbers'
natural, to find only a set of so of infantry and a tank or two. After a couple gay
storms, he kills Numbers' natural. Mog is stalled at the main by a few tanks
way up on the ledge, but it doesn't matter. Numbers makes one final stand,
first killing Mog's 3 o clock main base, and then moving his small army
outside of Mog's main. All of this is in vain however, as his small
amount of tanks and infantry are eaten up by Mog's 30+ goons, he simply
quits in disgust.
I'd say well played .. but, well, you know. GG though.
Scores
Other random crap
Ever seen a drone with lockjaw?
 This lil
bastard got stuck like that when my idiot friend Tool was doing his famous "negro dance". The drone tried to
attack an scv, but the scv ran away and the drone just got stuck like that for a minute or
two. Weeeeeeeeeird mannnn.
Oh yeah people. Ask Jesus
Screw lessons learned. Just comment
and stuff. And make sure to laugh at Mark4 for being beaten in the marathon thingy by a
senior citizen.
And lastly, i really wanted to show
you all Probe's pic, since he oh so nicely showed mine off, but he was too much of a puss
to give/show it to me, so he will be spared of the humiliation ... for now. |
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