"...everybody out of the hot tub. Now! Annie, Emma, Kei and Ivy..."
-Heartcutter
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| The Adventures of Spunk and Shandy | | | Author: | | | IP: | dt0f4n84XXXX | | Date: | 02/27/00 12:02 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 3, Max: 10, Min: 9
Lifetime Rating for ::nobody:: & wallabystein: 9.1667 |   |
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File accessed: Shandy Files #273
File Type: Strategy
File Description: The Adventures of Spunk and Shandy
Enjoy.
Hey, the name’s Spunk. I’m nobody special, just your average SC addict. (I swear they put crack cocaine on the CD). As I was getting my “fix” of SC for the night, I sat in Nohunters looking for a game. NH is now more public than Brood War USA-2, so naturally it was mostly bunch of whiny lamers, half of whom I had on squelch. Suddenly a familiar name entered the channel: shandy. OMG! I pissed my pants, put on a new pair and then pissed them. It was the famous shandy! Humbly I asked the master for a game, hoping to become forever remembered in the shandy Files. After a short conversation, we decided to play the Gosu pubbies. Everyone knows that pubbies are the prime sector of the SC population and I was honored that shandy would brave the dangerous pubbies with me. The game was “2x2 HUNTERS!!” (all in caps, of course, because experts join all caps game names). The first two players to join were pimpstein and nammer. (pimpstein is not related to wallabystein, just an odd coincidence…I have no idea in hell what “stein” is supposed to mean) . With a shaky hand I pressed the okay button… It was go time… time to show off my gosu strats and maybe… just maybe beat the pubbies!
As the game started, I received teal terran at 6:00, shandy got yellow zerg at 7:00, pimpstein found himself with brown toss at 5:00, and nammer was purple toss at 11:00. As you noticed earlier, this is in the Shandy Files under “Strategy.” This is because Both shandy and I pulled off strats that should only be attempted by experts…be wary. shandy immediately called out “I will sunken the middle and tech from there.” I responded that I would mass firebat to start then switch to mass ghost. As you can see, we were very experienced. shandy started his sunken push (terrans have the tank push, zerg have the sunken push) at the entrance to our two bases and started to extend the creep toward the center. I immediately went depot, rax, refinery, academy and started massing raxes from there. About this time, we had discovered that both pimpstein and nammer were toss and had gone forge then gate. Damn. Forge first…they were good. Maybe too good. As the firebats started rolling, shandy’s creep had extended into the middle. So far he had nothing but a pool and sunkens, I had only a group of bats. Then the enemy struck. Utilizing the unique 1 gate rush, both players sent their zeals toward the sunkens and my stimmed bats met them, winning without one loss. The mass bat strat had worked, luckily. I then sent the bats charging at pimpstein…I saw cannons at his base… “Ha! I thought, bats OWN cannons!” Unfortunately, pimpstein was good and through excellent cannon micro, stopped the bats…but the bats had done their damage.
shandy continued to blanket the center with sunkens, about 15 covered the center by now, and the push was going without a hitch. I had 8 raxes pumping bats, confident that bats would own anything. A strong silence covered the battlegrounds…the pubbies had a plan. I started quaking and pissed my pants again. Damn! This was the 4th pair of pants already. Suddenly their plan was revealed. I was expecting the newbie technique of reavers, but these were no newbies, they had both gone for the gosu cannon push!! An arc of cannons, from 12:00 to 5:00, extended around the center, stopping the sunken push cold. Damn! How could I have been so stupid to expect reavers?!?! Cannons were the obvious answer to a sunken push. I slammed my bats into the wall of cannons…the sheer number of bats destroyed many cannons, and allowed shandy to extend the creep a bit more, but it was time for me to switch strats…mass ghosts!
At this time, shandy began to build his first non-sunken buildings. A lair then queen’s nest appeared…he was going mass queens! YES! I was so happy to be with such and expert…the pubbies were gonna have to fight hard to beat us! I purposely avoided tanks because they were not part of my original strat, and I NEVER switch strats mid-game…that is for newbies. As I wondered what the opponents were up to, I pissed my pants again. DAMN! That was the 5th pair. The ghosts began to crank and I got a nuke silo as shandy finished a spire. I sent my favorite ghost, hereby known a “Sven” to do the first nuking honors…I resolved that the only way I would kill things would be with nukes or lockdown. Sven headed out to mid-map and looked at the exorbitant amount of cannons. Taking aim, he placed a red dot on the cannons. A bunch of lame zeals came to try and find Sven, but to no avail, the nuke fell and took out a chunk at 3:00 (mid). Sven then waited for another nuke and placed it on a chunk of cannons at 12:00. The nuke fell and evaporated a goon, a zeal, a temp, and a load of cannons. Go Sven!
To my horror, however, pimpstein and nammer both began to rewarp the cannons! OMG they were super-gosu and must of realized that cannons > nukes! They were so gosu, in fact, that the had already begun the super-gosu tactic of massing carriers. Damn...more piss…new pants. shandy, however, was now idle, with mass queens and scourge, he was ready. Obviously, pimpstein and nammer must of seen the scourge and ghosts and immediately thought carriers because they were both going for carriers. Both had expanded to their naturals and nammer had expanded to 12:00. pimpstein brought a fleet of 5 carriers and an arbiter into my base. Since he is so gosu, I guess he thought that he could do an ultra-carrier dance, making it impossible to click on his carriers for lockdown or for shandy to ensnare and scourge them… ha! He danced well, but didn’t expect shandy and I to be such micro experts!
During the carrier raid, I had built 4 nuke silos at my natural, giving Sven and his ghost friends more toys to play with. shandy had massed enough scourge in the middle to block out the sun, so I declared that we hit pimpstein.  Keep in mind that shandy has only built scourge, sunkens, and queens, and I have only built firebats, nukes, and ghosts. Our gosu strats were just spiffy. I brought Sven and his posse (I think you guys should get that joke =P) to take out the poopie colored protoss. First, I nuked his cannons in the mid. Next, I locked down two of his probes warping in cannons and nuked them. Then I nuked all the probes at his natural…twice. Sven was on the role. The Sven got cocky…uncloaked he nuked the perimeter of pimpstein’s base and then, uncloaked, he stood in the middle of pimpstein’s base, arming a nuke…unfortunately a lone zeal found him and killed poor Sven… Sven’s posse vowed to get revenge. Unfortunately, pimpstein now had obsevers and the nukes weren’t falling. The posse returned to the middle just as nammer attacked with his temps, carriers and 1 archon. shandy was ready, however, with the most gosu carrier counter of all time… scourge and 3/3 cracklings. As the Posse locked down all of nammer’s carriers, nammer had his templar storm…each other. I guess it was a pubbie gosu tactic to try and distract me from microing…it wasn't succesful in distracting me, but I did piss my pants. Again.
As I returned with a new pair of pants (I got smart and was now wearing a swimming suit) I saw that I was out of minerals. Grrr… I tried to expand to the 3:00 natural, but pimpstein had some scouts on the prowl. shandy chased them with some scourge, but was unable to prevent them from stopping my expansion. pimpstein was also unable to expand, however, so I watched on…waiting for the right time to expand. shandy, on the other hand had taken the left side of the map and unleashed a swarm of cracklings at nammer’s 12:00 expansion. nammer’s carriers were no match for the speed of the lings, and nammer was raped before he even knew his pants were down. shandy’s newly formed defilers and scourge whooped up on about 8 carriers and I had expanded again. The Posse took their revenge, nuking the living (and dead) crap out of pimpstein’s base, causing pimpstein to concede in defeat. I also finished off nammer with a few beautiful nukes, while shandy’s lings cleared the debris. I pissed my pants.
It was a hard-fought game against some ultra-gosu pubbies. Their strats rivaled our own, but in the end it was the sunken push + mass ghost that was the featured strat for this Shandy File. Just for the hell of it, I decided to nuke all of shandy’s stuff too: it was icky.
Shandy and I had formed a bond… we will be together for many more games I knew… battling the ultra-gosu pubbie population…
There will be more gosu strats…
There will be more pubbie geniuses…
There will be more of me pissing my pants…
Real Games, Real Losers: The Shandy Files.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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