"i wannabe a wannabe of me!"
-Ativus
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| NewbieMcNasty vs. |[=]| (pic infested) | | | Author: | | | IP: | spider-tXXXX | | Date: | 01/22/00 04:01 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 9, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for [{o}] with the help of |[=]|: 7.5000 |   |
I'm baaaaaaacckk!!! See if you like this BattleReport. Beware: Exposure to too many pictures might result in giving this BR a ten =]
Another happy day in StarCraftville. Our destination for today is little Justin's house where he is busy playing with his new "Army vs. Alien" miniature kit. But oh no! Little Justin is arguing with his friend Jeff. Lets listen in:
Newbie McNasty's real name = Justin, |[=]|'s real name = Jeff
Justin:(NM): I'm gonna be the Humans and thats the bottom line!!
Jeff:(|[=]|): Fine!! I don't care who I am. Lets just play, ok?
Justin:OK then as long as I'm the humans.
Jeff:And I'll be whoever you want me to be.
Justin:So where do you wanna play??
Jeff:Lets play on this table here. It's not dirty or rough. (Polaris Prime)
Justin:Ok then lets start.
Map: Polaris Prime= A six player island map with starting locations in the upper right, middle right, lower right, upper left, middle left, and lower left.
Jeff(|[=]|): Race=Random (Protoss) Color=Brown Starting Location: 1 o' clock
Justin(NewbieMcNasty): Race=Terran Color=Purple Starting Location: 7 o' clock
This game was a very, very good game and I hope you enjoy. Lotsa pictures and lots of fun.
Justin:OK. First I'm going to build my Command Center right here [points to lower left position].
Jeff:Fine. And I'll build my Nexus right here on the upper left of the table.
NewbieMcNasty starts out with a build as follows: On the 8th SCV, a supply depot, a Command Center on the 12th SCV, and a Barracks on the 13th. |[=]| has his Pylon built on the 8th probe he got. The pylon was followed by an Assimilator and a Gateway in quick succesion. Both players seemed to know well how to play an island game on Polaris Prime as their build orders showed. NewbieMcNasty going for the early float, as |[=]| was going for the tech.
Jeff:HEY!!! Thats cheating!! You can't build another base already!! Lemme see the rulebook [checks rulebook, looks disappointed]
Justin:Haha. I can make a new base whenever I want and the rulebook says so. Nahnah!
And make another base is just what NewbieMcNasty did. He floated his new Command Center and Barrack over to the expansion site just above him.  It looked liked that NewbieMcNasty's economy will not be matched for a while. The Refinery came next for the "Newbie" as he buffed his already steroid induced economy. Then NewbieMcNasty ordered his SCV slave to build another Barrack for him to protect his main base. NewbieMcNasty was definetly expanding to macro out some awesome troops rather than getting some early ones (which is what you should do in an island game.) Meanwhile however, the Protoss were not going to let NewbieMcNasty expand without an answer. Instead of opting for more economy, |[=]| was teching quickly and seemed to have more gas than the Terrans. He had his gas before the Gateway while NewbieMcNasty had gotten his after a long build of a Command Center. |[=]| looked to be concentrating on Zileas' units, the shuttle and reaver. He immediatly warped in a Cybernetics Core and a Pylon followed by a Robotics Facility and a Forge to prevent any kind of drop.
Justin:Haha you still don't have an extra base and I'm going to win cuz im the good guys. Nahnah!
Jeff:We'll see about that Justin. I'm choosing a more safer path than you.
The kid was right. NewbieMcNasty was making a daring move. Was it a stupid, foolish one? Or was it the right way to go? It seemed as if it were the latter as |[=]| still did not seem to know that NewbieMcNasty had been expanding and making his economy stronger. But it didn't seem to matter because the shuttles and reavers were coming soon as NewbieMcNasty did not have many defenses. NewbieMcNasty had already gotten a Factory and a few marines to put up some kind of fight but I would of bet my ladies that it was not enought to take out a reaver. But we shall never know because |[=]| chose to build an Observatory instead of the Robotics Support Bay I was anticipating. From the looks of it now, he was going to expand very soon and probably had map control under his belt also as observers continually warped in.
Jeff:This isn't fair!! Your guys are much better than mine. I have stinky, winky guys.
Justin:Lets just play. I wanna win you. And I think I'm doing better so if you quit I'm the winner so nahnah!!
Jeff:Fine. I'll just stick around to whoop your butt. But still its unfair.
Maybe Jeff was right. Terrans are imbalanced after all. But the Protoss were the masters of air control and maybe he had no right to whine this game. However, Polaris Prime is a island map with a lot of land mixed in. I wondered who had the right to complain as NewbieMcNasty had a Academy just finishing and a Starport just starting. Starport eh? Looks like a drop is coming up for NewbieMcNasty. It could be done. Meanwhile, |[=]| was getting still getting his tech and Photon Cannons. And he still hasn't noticed the quick expansion that NewbieMcNasty had sneakily pulled off. Now that NewbieMcNasty had lots of moolas, he started to make some units.....
Jeff:Wait, lemme see the rulebook. Aha!! You liar!! I can also make a new base as soon as I want. I'm making one right now!!
Justin:I'm not a liar. I just didn't tell the truth that's all. And see if I care that you build another base because I'm not your friend. Nahnah!!
||[=]| indeed was getting his first expansion and I couldn't help but take pictures at the little cute thing. This expansion was taking place in the top middle position It's so adorable when a Nexus starts to warp in. (In fact, I think that warping in a Nexus is very much like getting a new baby. First you need to send little "probes" to see if the area is secure, very much like the male needs to probe his area which more commonly known as the [ahem]. Then the probes need to penetrate the area running through enemy units that might be blocking the way. Finally, if a probe survives, it can make an egg shaped ball which will soon be a Nexus. Hey I know it isn't exactly the same but it comes pretty close. Anyway, back to the BattleReport.) |[=]| then proceeded to get some Photon Cannons to defend his base as he warps in some more Gateways at his natural.
Justin:Hey no fair!! I saw you sneak in those Gateways!!
Jeff:I have no idea of what you may be talking about. [ Stealthily builds two more Gateways at his new expansion for a grand total of three.]
NewbieMcNasty finally had some anti-air defense at both bases and basically had "god-vision" (god-vision - the ability to see the whole map) with his Comsat Stations. But he wasnt the only one with god-vision. The observer tech started to pay off as |[=]| finally saw the expansion NewbieMcNasty finally had and started to spy on it. He also took a look at the main Terran base and probably fainted when he saw those 3 Factories (A Protoss nightmare) pumping out vultures and the powerful tanks. Also, NewbieMcNasty's Starport was finally done and he took a wraith from it and started to scout. He quickly sent it to the top-middle to be greeted by Photon Cannon plasma blasts as it quickly ran away satisfied for doing its duty.
Justin:Dragoons!!! I told you I wanted to be the Protoss but you took it away! I'm telling!
Jeff:What are you talking about? You were the one whining about how much you wanted to be Terran so Know Your Role and Shut Your Mouth.
Justin's Mom: Yes Justin. Jeff is right. You should shut your mouth.
|[=]| now has most tech he needs. He has the Templar Archives just warping in as he pumps out lots of dragoons to take on the opposing force he sees with the cloaked observers. |[=]| is not the only one to macro though.
NewbieMcNasty gets his 4th Factory (thats right Protoss players, it can get worse) and his second Starport with an Armory accompanied by it. Now |[=]| definetly has map control as he has observers at almost all the places you may possibly expand on that 6 player map. |[=]| then proceeds to get the bestest, most goodest unit in the game, the High Templar. And of course one isn't enough. Oh no. The more the merrier. How about three? Ya thats pretty good. Won't hurt to get three at all. At least it won't hurt himself. And then sneakily, a probe goes to work right at the entrance at the Terran expansion.....
Jeff (to himself): If i can sneak in a few Photon Cannons here, maybe it would buy me some time to expand again.
Well the Protoss commander had the wrong idea. Tanks > Photon Cannons without getting hurt due to the tank's range. Now just as 3 zealots were coming to help that little containment, as the Photon Cannon was warping in, NewbieMcNasty decided it's time to attack. Well he met this little containment on his way and..... stepped on it like it was a pile of dog sh*t. He crushed that attempt at a containment like mutalisks crush probes. And if you were watching this game, you would probably think what I was thinking. NewbieMcNasty is in control of this game.
Justin:Hah! Lets end this right now. ATTACK!!
Jeff:Bring it on!! I'm ready.
Ready? The Protoss were definetly that. The 3 Bestest Units in the Game (with a little help of 6 dragoons and 7 zealots) took down the measly (not really) force of 9 marines, 2 science vessels, 2 SCVs, 4 goliaths, 4 vultures, about 3 medics, a whole dump truck full of spider mines and finally, 3 Siege Tanks. What a battle this was!! There were more storms here than in Florida during hurricane time. Goliaths quickly went down against the dragoons and the zealots mutilated the siege tanks. But |[=]| did not go out with no losses in this battle. His zealots died to the goliaths as did the dragoons, they perished again (dragoons are resurrected) to the tanks. And in the midst of all of this, both players seem to think it is the time to yet again spread their control over the map and to expand again.
Jeff:HAH!! Proves I can survive much longer than you can. You would have never fended that kinda attack with my units right now.
Justin: Well we'll see how long you can take it punk!! Won't be for long cuz I'm sending my guys again so nahnah!!
Yet again NewbieMcNasty goes on the offensive. His new squad of vultures start to lay their mines in 1st expansion of |[=]| and in his own new expansion. |[=]| is getting extremely annoyed as the vultures dart in and out of his base and lay mines deeper and deeper into the Protoss expansion. Meanwhile, as lame as he is, |[=]| drops a lone dragoon on the main of NewbieMcNasty. And can this dragoon fight. It's valiance and bravery led to a wraith's defeat, a marine's demise and a vulture's end of life as the dragoon stayed alive until a newly called upon tank had to dispose of it. 
So far, that was probably the offensive attempt that |[=]| has pulled off that dealt the most damage while he was forced to defend most of this game. NewbieMcNasty,without a doubt, is still in control of this game.
Jeff:HAHA!! Can't seem to take care of a single dragoon in your own territory eh?
Justin:Shut up. I'm still winning!!! Nahnah!!
Were we sure of that? Was NewbieMcNasty still winning? Well we could say he was winning, but now? We will know (or at least you will, I already do so NAHNAH!!) in time. NewbieMcNasty seemed to be the victim of a well posted comeback as |[=]| used his macro skills and his minimap awareness, and observer tech to make sure no one except him takes anymore expansion The" book of |[=]|" says let the Terran have 2 expansions, no more =]. Well the book of |[=]| also says "do not fear tanks, destroy them" and |[=]| was gonna test his micro vs. NewbieMcNasty's tanks pretty soon since he saw about six of em with his stealthy observers. Now this Terran force was heading straight for the Protoss expansion, in hopes of beating the living hell out of it. But |[=]| had his ideas too. He decided it was time to haul the momentum over to his side so he mustered up a few dragoons and zealots to do some damage on NewbieMcNasty's expansion. Although the Protoss forces were slightly diminished and damaged from the useful spider mines that had been deployed by the vultures, most of them made it to the battle at the bridge of NewbieMcNasty's expansion. There, they will be buried with honor. Dragoons fought valiantly against the opposing goliaths. The tanks, which have been on easy street so far, met their worst enemy, the zealot. The tanks were going down quickly as were the dragoons and goliaths but the zealots seemed healthy enough to fight. Of course the two battlecruisers that NewbieMcNasty were hiding came out of their concealment. Most people would think that two, large, armored, spacecrafts would destroy a few measly guys who cant hit them and a lone dragoon. Well I've got some news for you. 
|[=]| micro is incredibly good. Too bad he still cant dodge the battlecruiser's ATS laser batteries. |[=]| died a horrible death in that battle. But |[=]|'s micro is still pretty good though =].
Jeff:OH SH*T!!!
Justin:Nahnah!! Wasup I'm the bomb. Uh-huh!!
Justin's Mom: SHUT UP!!!!!
[Justin and Jeff whimper quietly to themselves]
Jeff and Justin continue to play their little army game despite the fact that Justin's mom is steaming with fury (Who knows why? Maybe her behavior explains her 12 aborted kids and 99 ex-husbands......). Can |[=]| come out with the win? Can NewbieMcNasty be newbie enough that he cannot finish a weak Protoss off with the Terrans? Hmmm.... Well enough with the thinking and back to the battles. Since the book of |[=]| says to "know how to win, then go in and do it" |[=]| gotta follow that law because he made it up right? Well, |[=]|,he was going against his own words because he could not get on the offensive. He could not find a way to win this game. Things were looking grim for the Protoss. They had no way off this planet and were sure to die. Right? Wrong! The savior has come. The ultimate unit. The most electrifying (and I do mean electrfying) unit in the game. The........Archon
So now what? He's got the big firebat. What was he going to do with it? He was gonna kick some Terran mettalic ass. He sent a squad of 3 archons, 6 zealots and 4 dragoons to whoop bash some Newbie. Hah!! Back at your face Terran scum!! But wait. What is that above the horizon? It's a kakaru! It's a bengalass! Oh crap!! It's a Science Vessel! Terran is imbalanced =p. The ultimate counter, the missle shooting, orbing, flying, POS came to save the Terran's hairy ass. It was the Science Vessel indeed. And most StarCraft/Brood War players know that the spell "ElectroMagneticPulse Shockwave" does wonders to Protoss units. For all you newbies out there, EMP is a missle that depletes the shields and energy from the units and structure within it's radius. |[=]| was going to get a present from that Science Vessel that had EMP. Can you guess it? WRONG!!! You guys suck. The Science Vessal shot out an EMP missle. Unfortunetly for the Terran, |[=]| was on his feet and ready for this. He separated his units so that the EMP would not affect a large amount of units. |[=]| ended up with only 1 zealot and 1 archon being EMPed and probably was happy with this. Suddenly, about 6 goliaths came to try to get rid of the archons. He got out a cigarrete and lighted it. "HAHA!!" he says as his units advance to make rubble out of Terran machinery. Finally, |[=]| walks off the battlefield with a big battle in his hands.....
Jeff:Whoa!! I'm the master and you may suck my d*ck. Mwhahahaha you suck!!
[Justin starts to cry]
Justin's Mom: SHUT UP!!!!!!!
[Justin, Jeff and their game are all booted out of the house]
Justin:See what you did?
Jeff:OK. My fault. After we finish this game, we go to the orphanage, k? At least we get some peaceful games there.
Jeff and Justin are kicked out of the house. It's sorta like what is going to happen in this next portion of the game. |[=]| was getting ready for another expansion just when the "Probe Molestors" come knocking on his 2nd expansion's door. And what a loud knock it was. The Probe Mole---- what? You don't know the Probe Molestors? They are only the most ferocious, vile, evil, hated gang in the town of StarCraftville. And they do more than molest. I would go into more detail but I'm not allowed to say this because it is censored. We'll just say that they have a "hands-on-****" experience with the probes. Anywho, back to the battlereport. The Probe Molestors were crapping their big loads on the probes as they went down one by one, falling into the evilness. But the Protoss weren't going to tolerate the probes being molested. This called for immediate action. So an immediate group of dragoons, went to the site of the expansion, immediate south of the main. But the Probe Molestors were not immediately destroyed. They were preventing immediate death with their firing of immediate acting arclite cannons as zealots were immediatly sent to cause death to the vile gang. Unfortunetly, the baby expansion never got to prove itself very useful and died a immediate horrible death (OK enough of the immediates =])
Jeff:You cheated!! Can't summon the Probe Molestors so early!!!
Justin:Well whats done is done. You should have told me that before.
Is NewbieMcNasty cheating? Does he have a "get Probe Molestors for only 10 minerals" hack? Probably not because I'm watching (and plus it is impossible to hack now). NewbieMcNasty sure looked like he was cheating however. The 6 Battlecruisers answer why for me. That grand fleet of 6 Battlecruisers were laying the smackdown on |[=]|'s negative ass. The Battlecruiser, slow and bulky, makes up for that with it's armor and attack capabilities. The Battlecruiser deals 25 respective points of damage each shot it takes and that, combined with a good amount of range, and in a pack of 6 just about demolishes everything in it's way. And that's just what they did. BattleCruiser's first target? The main of |[=]|.
Jeff:Whoa!! Where did those come from??
Justin:I dunno. [deploys a few more battlecruisers for free when Jeff is not looking]
|[=]| hastily makes two new expansions as NewbieMcNasty does some remodeling in his old ones. |[=]| now has basically no units execpt for his veteran archons and a few zealots and dragoons. His expansions were both spotted immediatly due to Scanner Sweeps and the BattleCruisers and Tanks both went to do the final blow....
Jeff:I gotta go man sorry.
Justin:OK visit me at the orphanage?
Jeff:Ya OK I lost. We'll play again.
Hey at least those kids weren't sore losers or winners (unlike some people). Well |[=]| was going down fast. 7 Tanks + 4 Goliaths and 6 Battlecruisers were spread out to kill both expansions at the same time. |[=]| unfortunately had to leave because it was 10 minutes passed his bedtime =]. So I made NewbieMcNasty the winner and the game came to a close.
WINNER: NewbieMcNasty
Lessons Learned:
-Polaris Prime is a good island map to go land units
Anything that was taken the wrong way (perhaps as a flame or something. I dunno how that would happen but nonetheless...) was unintentional.
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