"I've never said this before about a player who loses to 8 probe drops but YRM=god"
-Mark4
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| A lame ass report: UpgradedKakaru Style | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 11/29/99 06:11 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 4, Max: 3, Min: 1
Lifetime Rating for UpgradedKadaru: 2.0000 |   | This is a feeble ass attempt at comedy, just to show you how annyoing kak can be. I will be playing the role of UpgradedKakaru.
The Map: Lost Temple
The Players: 1. UpgradedKakaru (starcraft god)
2. Can't remember the other guys name but
he played like a Korean newbie.
It was a cold winters morn on the dya of Novembor 25th kekekeke. I had the devious notion to set aside my morales and kill someone. It was only aboot 11am my time which is still early in da USA. Lazy americans. I was in NoHunters when some guy whos name has slipped my mind challenged me. I took up the challenge post hast and soon we had a fight.
IN THE BEGINING
I start out at 12 with my usuall godly terran build (whatever the hell it is) then branch off into heavy medal after my scouting shows me hes a lame ass toss at 3. Things are boring now with just little things happening.
YOU CANT DO THET
My opponent tries to attack me with 4 zealots but I have 24 vutlures behind my blcoked up ramp and with my superior micromanaging, I beat him quite thoroughly.
THE HUGE FIGHT
aAfter about 20 minutes of building up and taking the map while my newbie opponent turtled in his main, I attack him. I will not give you pictures of the actual fight because.....uh...becausee the battle was too bloody. Ya, YA thats it! The battle was too bloody!
END GAME
The final attack was won by me and looked something like this:
Me: Preepare to die you weak little inferior man!
OtherGuy: Help Help! Im no match for the mighty Kak!
It went on like that and I won.
LESSONS LEARNED
1. Terran > Toss
2. Microing can save you from near defeat, like when his 4
zeals attacked my 24 vultures and I was able to win with
some fancy moves.
3. I am just the best damn player in the world.
4. Br's dont need pics to be cool.
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