Ok...since different types of strategy games are now being reported on, I thought I'd try. This is on the strategy/fantasy game Warhammer. It is played with pewter/plastic miniatures, it is turn based, and takes upwards of 10 hours per game. Today we agreed to set up our 6 foot by 4 foot board in this manner; to one end was a lage, treeless area with lots of hills, in the center was a small town, and at the opposite end was a large forest.

Three of us played, myself, the almighty SqueakyMonkey (a.k.a. Joe), and my friends Justin and Andy.

Justin opted to play his Undead Army, consisting of a catapult, a vampire, a mounted vampire, a Liche (zombie wizard) 5 wraiths, cloaked figures whom resemble grim reapers. Two carrion birds, reanimated vulture corpses, and reanimated Dragon corpse ridden by a zombie, a Necromancer, and a hero named Krell, another zombie-ish warrior.

Andy oped to play his Lizardmen army, consisting of saurus warriors, slow, stupid foot soldiers wielding axes and knives. Skinks, weak, fast archers, Kroxigors, giant T-Rex sized creatures wielding huge axes, various heroes, and my most hated of enemies, The Slann mage-priest, an enomous frog riding a throne carried by four saurus guards. The priest in incredibly powerful magic wise, and is a potent warrior in hand-to-hand combat.

I myself played two armies, because one of which, the human Brettonian Knights, have a powerful millitary, and my newborn Skaven Army, giant ratmen, whom are magically potent, but have a weak millitary. My Bretonnian Army was composed of 12 knights, 23 archers, and The King of Brettonia, mounted on a Hippogriff, a creature with the body of a horse, arms of a lion, and head and wings of a hawk. 8 Royal guards and a hero, all of which were converted (made up) by me.

My Skaven army consisted of 20 clanrats, weak, underhanded ratmen armed with spears, two poison wind globodiers, ratmen in gas masks whom toss glass balls full of a lethal gas into enemy forces, and a Screaming Bell, a magical bell which is pushed into battle by slaves or clanrats, ridden by a Grey Seer Wizard and the bell striker.

Phew. sorry to put you all through that, but it was necessary to get you all accustomed to the game. Although the game was turn based, I will tell it as though it were one, fluid battle. The only thing I am not sure of, is what magic was cast during the game. Here we go.

Andy got stuck with the center, sending all of his Saurus (around 30) and half of his skinks (13 I believe) at Justin, all of his heroes were directed towards Justin, except, the Priest. God I hate him, and from now on I will call him Froggy.

Justin positioned his dragon facing the town, his Necromancer on one hill, his catapult, Krell, and the vampire (I heard his name was Vlad Von Carstein) on one hill. His wraiths followed the dragon, and the mounted vampire hung back on a hill.

I began by sending all 12 of my knights towards Froggy, along with 3 groups of archers and my Royal Guard. The king, using his mount, flew across to board and landed behind the mounted vampire. The 10 clanrats and 2 globodiers moved towards a group of skinks, and the bell, due to my great strategic mind, was forced to turn around, go around the trees, and slowly chug out of the forest.

Andy responded by sending 13 skinks and a handful of saurus at my forces. He looked ay my knights and then at froggy. Justin chuckled, I guess he saw what was coming, I didn't.

...the knight laughed heartily from behind his helmet, lowered his lance, and prepared to charge the bloated frog wizard. He spurred the horse forward, lowered his head, and raised his shield. The frog wizard simply raised his arm revealing a golden ring. A wave of fire spurted forth from the ring, enveloping the knights...

Ouch. His gay ring had killed 4 of my knights, leaving me with 8. Not a good start. It is a rule with us that if our general is killed then we were out of the game. Andy's general was froggy, I was screwed. Mine was my king, and Justin's was his mounted vampire. Justin attacked a group of saurus with his wraiths, while he readied to fire the catapult.

...the skeleton crewman pulled on the crank, lowering the arm that would hurl the projectile at the enemy. The entire catapult was made from a massive giant skeleton, and hurled fresh skulls down on the enemy. The three skeletons loaded up several skulls and prepared to fire. A hideous cracking noise erupted from the firing arm of the catapult...

BOOM!!! A catapult malfunction had blown it to bits, wiping out the crew and the catapult itself. Justin removed the model from the board, and moved on. He sent his vultures to attack one of Andy's heros, a Chameleon with a dart gun. Both vultures were killed quickly without harming the hero. Justin then sent his necromancer after the same hero, and managed to kill it, while severly wounding the necromancer.

Andy in turn sent a group of saurus after the wounded necromancer, killing him, and in turn, all of the saurus were killed by his mounted vampire. My king, who had been following the mounted vampire, was attacked by the zombie dragon from behind.

...the king drew his sword and lowered the faceplate of his helmet. He spurred the giant hippogriff, which roared and charged after the hideous vampire. Then came a horrible roar from behind. The king turned his head to see something truly terrifying. The dragon had been green at some point, but was in an advanced state of decomposition. The skin of it's face had peeled away in some areas, revealing muscle and bone, it's eyes had rotted away, leaving glowing red eye sockets. It's wings were tattered and he could see that the rider was in no better condition, a zombie, wearing battered armour, hissed. The flesh of it's face was rotting away, and it's glowing yellow eyes seemed to be full of pure evil. He turned to face the creature, which opened it's gaping mouth, revealing tattered flesh and blood. A horrible buzzing sound gradually became deafening as a swarm of flies erupted from it's mouth, enveloping the king and his hippogriff...

FLIES! Of all the most disgusting things, the dragon vomits a swarm of flies onto the enemy. My king is down, but not out. Andy's been sending wave after wave of saurus and finally manages to kill Justin's necromancer. Andy at this point sends another group of saurus at Krell, who kills all of the saurus, and a hero riding a velociraptor at the zombie wizard. The two massive Kroxigors attack Master Vampire Vlad VonCarstein, who kills them both. The hero mounted on the raptor is killed, as are several more saurus, but, he does kill all the wraiths.

My bell has lumbered up and as begun ringing in an attempt to cause some harm to froggy. Justin's zombie wizard creates a horrible storm which kills a few saurus, two of my Royal Guards, and 4 rats pushing my bell. the bell striker was also killed, and the bell could not be rung any more. Andy has dispatched another group of skinks to deal with my clanrats and globodiers.

...the ratman reached into a netted bag and drew a glassy green ball. He looked at the tiny lizardmen in front of him. "Die-die lizard scum!" he hissed as he launched the ball into the enemy ranks. The glass shattered releasing a green gas into the air. The skinks inhaled for only a second, then gagged. The globodier grinned as blood erupted from the skinks' mouths and ears. They collapsed into a bloody heap. An arrow whized by, jamming into the side of his neck. The tar seal had been broken on his gas mask, and air leaked out. The ratman staggered, drew his knife, and tossed a ball into the surviving skinks. They scattered away from the gas, as the ratman jumped at them, he hissed, and then saw the goggles of his gas mask become clouded with green. "The seal!" It hissed as blood erupted from it's mouth...

I killed 7 skinks while losing a globodier and 4 clanrats who were killed in a volley of arrows. Justin consulted a chart, comparing stats, and informed me that I had lost the skirmish. My clanrats turned to run and were all slaughtered by the skinks.

My knights finally engaged Froggy and were barbequed by the ring. I was left with 3. A group of saurus attacked a group of archers led by Super Joe. Slowly, the group was whittled down to just two archers. Justin cast storm again, killing two more royal guards and all but one saurus.

...Joe drew his sword, as did the archer next to him. The huge saurus opened his gaping jaws, and bit down on the terrified archer's shoulder. With a hideous snapping, the archer fell to the ground limp. joe took the opportunity and brought his sword down on the saurus's neck. The swork bounced off it's think scales, and the saurus swung it's huge axe down on Joe's head..."

I was stunned, Joe, wimpiest archer in the Brettonian army was dead. DAMN ANDY, DAMN HIM TO HELL!!!!! My wizard hissed a foul curse, and I cast scorch. A flame lept from my rat wizard's finger tip and flew towards the frog wizard. It did no damage.

I went back to my king, who was fighting Justin's zombie dragon. The poor hippogriff had been slaughtered, and the king was on foot. Justin's dragon spit up a disgusting swarm of flies again, which swarmed my king. He was killed. I was out of the game. DAMN JUSTIN, DAMN HIM TO HELL!!!!! I packed up the rest of my models and moved them off of the battle field. Justin had not lost anything since his wraiths, and andy was left with Froggy, the saurus that killed Joe, and a shamen hero whom he had reincarnated.

I was now an observer. Justin flew his zombie dragon down to meet with his zombie wizard, Krell, and Vlad. He them declared that his mounted vampire was going to charge at froggy. This is where I saw the true power of that vampire. It was not just any vampire, but a Lord.

...the vampire lord swung his massive sword down at the frog wizard. The blade flashed in mid-air and multiplied into 6 blades, each one striking the bloated frog. There was a spurt of blood and the frog king let loose a low, hoarse groan. It brought up it's axe, and swung it at the vampire. The blade struck the vampire across the neck, and remained there, jammed halfway through the vampire's throat. The saurus guards carrying the throne attacked with silver spiked clubs, bashing and impaling the vampire. It lurched, and fell from it's skeleton horse, collapsing into a pile of blackened ash...

The frog let out a groan of triumph, while it's wounds slowly closed themsleves. Whereas my army had ran from the fight, Justin's had been destroyed. Vlad screamed and exploded in a burst of greenish back fire. The Zombie wizard, dragon, rider, and krell collapsed into rotting corpses.

Andy was jumping for joy. He was sure that I would have won, but being the tactical genius that I am, I managed to lose the game, not only horribly, but without inflicting much damage to Andy, and not killing any of Justin's monstrosities. Ouch.

Thanks for sticking with it if you are still reading. Come on, 6.0!