Starcraft Players Unite! Battle on Lost Temple!!

Yeah, besides the really bad pun off of a naruto episode, this is my first br ever!!!! I so rock, and this site needs some help, with those pathetic all text br's showing up lately trying to keep the place from dying, no need to fear bitches, I'm here! This is my very first usage of html, and honestly, I'm done fucking around withit in whatever the hell you guys are using, my images load fine in my internet browser, and I'm done trying to fix them here, I dunno what the problem is, and if you don't like it, you can fix it or go fuck yourself. Liberal use of the word fuck is alrigth for me. I'm the master of this domain, so if you intend on continuing your reading experiences, first, go to your refridgerator, and slam it shut with your head infront of the door. Yeah, the chances of that happening are pretty slim so maybe I should get to the report

Or maybe not, because I've been bitching ever since I came here about pictures, there will be pictures in mine. Lots of pictures, lots and lots of pictures... so you need time for them to load, maybe you should reconsider that fridge thing. No? Fuck you then. To make it load faster press Alt+F4 KEKEKEKEKE!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so I have a project for school of learning html, and what better way to practice this than with Starcraft? Hopefully the text isn't killing your eyes, and having just spent 4 hours editing pictures to fit in this, I will now pleasure you. With the battle report. Oh, I suck at the photoshoppery, so don't expect anything supergrand, like shapes other than a square from the pics. Go complain somewheres else bitch, remember, my domian.

After jacking off to porn for sometime (I bet you think I'm joking about this), I go looking for a game. It's been a long while since the last time I've played, so I had a warmup match with the computer before diving into bnet. I kept trying to fill into some 1v1 games on east but I kept getting beaten to the punch. I decide I don't want to lose overly that badly, so I start looking for some 2v2 games. After one game where my opponent fails to ask for help when he has 8 or so dts kicking his ass, I find a good game, I always like it when I find some guy who needs a partner.

After one failed attempt where his team member "Didn't get the race he wanted", we were off, afew seconds of getting peons to minerals and then allying TvB, we were set to go, and thus I bring you:

So an introduction is in order for all the people taking place, be prepared I know very little about them!!

SnK-Arcbound: This sexy piece of man meat will be playing zerg... and only zerg. Yes sir, I am a playah, And an all zerg player mixed into one. I'm am extremely good looking, like long walks on the beach, women, masturbation, women, hockey, masturbation, and masturbating to women. yes, it is I, the one you all know nothing about. Yet you are intrigued with my manly good looks and sexuality. I am quite the womenizer, but also enjoy a good game of shower twister with my friends. No girls needed or coarse. I start as orange zerg in the 8 o'clock position.

JinGLaM: My teammate for this matchup, he also pulls zerg, and is blue and starts at the 6 o'clock position.

Moriras[Ya]: These guys are some hardcore groupies, he spawns his hatchery at the 9 o'clock position, and is this turd brown color.

IcarcusWing[Ya]: That guys groupie buddy, hope the sex is good, cause they're going down!!!! He's red terran and at the 12 o'clock position.

Yeah, I know nothing about the other guys, go fuck yourself. This is a hardcore match between four people who aren't very good, it's the best kind. Expect lots of bad things to happen, and play errors, and lots and lots of sex. Yes, sex makes everything better, even starcraft. well, expecially stracraft.

Since I absolutely despise build orders, your not getting any. I start by asking if we should rush, coming back with the resounding response of "Yes". I take the safer route to keep my economy good during the rush, while JinGLaM goes pretty hardcore with his. Overlords have not yet reached the our opponents so we have no idea what they are doing. JinGLaM doesn't go unnoticed, as a scouting drone observes the nearly finished spawning pool.

I haven't been sitting idle during this time, doing the extractor trick to JinGLaM's 6 lings pop out and make a beeline for the enemy red base, while my eggs were still hatching (I'm sure you can spin that off into some perverted pregnant woman thing), I was told to attack brown. JinGLaM arrives at IcarcusWing[Ya]'s front door to see that it is a rather, unsuccessful wallin attempt, looks like someone needs more practice.

JinGLaM quickly dismantles both the depots in hopes of slowing his opponent down. In fact those were his only supply depots build so far, DOH!!! My eggs hatch just as reinforcements from the not so idle Moriras[Ya] come to stop the party. Too bad the party crashers need to outnumber the partyers when able bodies are the only thing that matters.

Moriras[Ya] has no choice but to retreat with his two remaining zerglings. My new hatchery at my expo is now finished, and is pumping out lings also, IcarcusWing[Ya] is now facing down about 2 dozen lings hell bend on his base, and with one active barracks, one floating, a new depot in the making, and one training marine, things aren't looking very good for the clannies.

At this point I'll let the pictures do the talking for what happens to Moriras[Ya]'s base.

Moriras[Ya]'s remaining three scv's run for their robotic lives when, yet again, the not so idle Moriras[Ya] comes to the rescue, with a fresh set of lings, enough to, with a little micro, leave him with a 2 hp ling.

Both JinGLaM and Moriras[Ya] have upgraded their hatcheries to lairs, while I, the only one with an expo, has build building nothing but lings, and has about 1000 minerals in the bank, a non functioning expansion, no gas and less than 25 supply. Yeah, I am the champ. It's been a while, fuck off, I'm not gosu. I've been pumping lings constantly, and death is on the horizon, with a control group and a half of lings line up at Moriras[Ya]'s front door. Atleast until three flying fucking ugly winged bastards come soaring through the sky and begin attacking the my helpless ravonous beasts. I'm forced to send them in early, were they die a most terrible death, without doing really that much damage, almost killing a sunken, and maybe afew other things. I have the replacement lings coming, as I'm told to pressure him and try and break his back. Moriras[Ya] can't survive with what he's got I keep pumping out lings to shove up his ass. And apparently Moriras[Ya] has also forgotten about my partner JinGLaM who has been happily plugging along without interruption...

Moriras[Ya] finally feels he has enough defense now that IcarcusWing[Ya] has been putting out some marines his his base with his floating junkmobiles. 3 Mutalisks fly over to my base and begin harrassing my mineral line. Yeah, 2 hatcherys and 1.5k minerals in the bank, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to rebuild /SARCASM. JinGLaM tech has been done, and his mutalisks finally burst out of their eggs somehow knowing how to fly before ever using their wings, and divebomb into Moriras[Ya]'s base. Apparently forgetting about his 3 mutalisks still chasing drones, and having run out of gas after making scourge, him and his partner do the only respectable thing left to do.

And thus ends this very first, yet short, battlereport. Bask in my glorious picture doing skills, and leave some comments, I should be doing somemore if I can find some none gay games. And I learn how to play.