"Ghosts are awesome vs. protoss, but only if they are alive:)"
-Makeadeathwish
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| It's Not My Fault, I'm Just The DM: Intro | | | Author: | | | IP: | dhcp198.XXXX | | Date: | 11/01/04 04:11 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 8, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for .Praetor: 8.2987 |   | Yes, not the end of the Civ3 br. The reasons for that are pretty simple (busy weekends). In fact, I've been spending some time campaigning for Kerry in Reno. Vote for Kerry, it's only about the future of our democracy.
But ok, I have less free time. Where the heck did this come from? Well, I was kind of at work today (long story), so I was looking for something to do. I'd have worked on the Civ3 br, but I can't work with graphics here and I don't have my notes. This is what came out. I guess there's no real way for me to deny any and all connection and/or responsibility for this. Fah.
Lead Characters (names changed to protect the guilty):
Me (Fred Benson) - I DM the game, and I don't like to talk about myself. I'm bad enough at describing other people (sorry guys). Suffice it to say I stand about 6'8, a ripped 280 pounds, and possess a heavy right hand, deadly left high kick, so many submissions I've been declared too good to compete at Abu Dhabi, enough cardio to run down a horse, and a chin harder than granite.
Ryan John - Ryan's the natural leader of a D&D character group. Energetic, charismatic, and the largest man of the group, he's usually the life of the party. A great guy who'll stick with you through thick and thin (though his character won't). In game, I often perceive him as my chief opponent. His tactical mind and detailed battle micro-management, coupled with total knowledge of his character's abilities AND those of all the other characters in his group, is a potent force on fantasy battlefields. When it comes to combat, I have to routinely design the challenge level of encounters for a group of characters two to three levels higher than the player characters (PCs) actually are.
Sam Shellfun - Sam's the man with a plan. If you want to go on a camping trip and have everything planned perfectly and go on a long off-trail hike and end up exactly where you expected to be, Sam's the man to know. If you need a size 6 hexagonal socket wrench, he probably has it as part of a handyman's tool in his jacket pocket. Also possesses complete knowledge of all known stop light and traffic mitigation issues. It comes only rarely (and somewhat unexpectedly), but Sam's sudden outbursts of enthusiasm and energy can turn a boring night into a ton of fun.
Nathan Malewarm - Secretive and mysterious, one is always kept guessing about what's going on in 'Nathan's secret life'. Nathan's perfected the art of disappearing, even when you know it's coming. I can't count the number of times he's gone to his house to 'pick up something', only to disappear for the evening - and I still expect him to come back every time. Nathan's almost always cheerful, and his good mood generally spreads to everyone in his company. He also brings new meaning to the terms 'creative', 'wacky', and 'generous'. Many thanks for the many dried mangoes, baked taro chips, and other varied snack foods.
Laurin Benson - Laurin's great. That's the sentence that generally comes up when someone tries to describe Laurin, which is then followed by any number of explanations. She's always down to hang out, regardless of the activity. She's an integral part of our campaign despite the early assumption D&D was anathema to anyone female. If anything needs a bit of spicing up (and Nathan hasn't already obliged), Laurin will get the party rolling. In-game Laurin is also a DM's dream when it comes to following the true motivations of her character regardless of what's good for her sorceress (however shallow those motivations may be).
With special guest star Ian Bolli and (eventually) cameo appearances by Yee Chue and Mike Seles.
From The Grey Mists Of Nothingness Emerges A World Of Infinite Possibilities.
So off and on, when the right people are home from college on summer vacation and the correct mix of boredom and free time has ripened, I Dungeon Master a D&D game with my good friends. But it was not always thus. You have to picture the initial scene. Ryan, Ian, and I are all sitting around watching a Kings game on TV, realizing that when it is over we'll have nothing to do. It was Saturday, and the next day loomed. Sacramento is not what one generally calls 'happening', it was too cold for Basketball, and I'm sure you can all imagine the conversation that was going to come up sooner or later.
"So whaddya wanna do?"
"Uh, I dunno. What do you wanna do?"
"Hell, I don't know. There's gotta be something."
"Hey, Molly." (Petting of dog.)
But this time, that's not what happened.
"So, whaddya wanna do?"
"Hey Ryan, do you still have your old D&D books?
"Uhhh" As I've mentioned, we've been friends for many years, so the pondering look Ryan assumed quickly let me know that they were indeed somewhere in his house. Or maybe at Ian's house. Possibly buried in the back yard. But given a several hours worth of effort, they could be found.
"I was thinking of reading through them. All of us have so much free time, we might actually be able to put together a campaign. It'd give us something to do, at least."
"Have you played D&D before Fred?" There was a little bit of a warning note in Ryan's voice. The message was fairly clear: don't go there. A little background might be a good idea here. I met most of the people in this story in high school, but Ryan, Ian, and Nathan have been friends since time immemorial (grade school). D&D apparently took up a few years in the junior high area for the three of them.
"No, I played a few other role playing games when I was like 11. It got old pretty fast. But then, the company was terrible."
"What games?" Ian's in this conversation somewhere, too. There's a reason I'm not attributing most of the quotes. Memory not being what it was.
"Uh, this and that game some kid had. Nothing I've ever seen since." Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Ok? HAPPY? It was sixth grade, I get a free pass.
"I'll find 'em if you want. But I don't know about playing D&D again." I was willing to shrug off this objection. It was summer break, none of us had jobs, and a little squeamishness about having once overdosed on a game wasn't a good reason to just sit on the couch watching TV.
"Why not?"
"Well for one, you'll have to find someone go DM. Dungeon Mastering is a lot of crappy work." Apparently Ryan had been stuck being the DM most of the time in Ye Olden Days. And, apparently, it's understood to be more fun to be a player than to run the game.
"Nathan might do it." While Ian was technically correct, this was not some innocent suggestion. From what I've gleaned of Ye Olden Days Ryan, Ian, and Nathan had all tried to pass DM duties off on the others. Ian has a natural immunity to peer pressure, and a remarkable ability to use reason to defeat most logical arguments (and vice versa), so he avoided the duties. Ryan, as I've said, would generally lead the group through whatever modules or adventure had been cooked up. And then Nathan would occasionally take the reins. At which point the characters would be stripped of all magical items by a god, dropped through an inter-dimensional portal, and find themselves trussed up before hostile Titans capable of destroying the whole group at a whim. Then, after the initial narrative, the classic 'What do you do?'.
But it was clear Ryan wouldn't DM again. Which was too bad, because somewhere around junior year in high school he'd come down with a bad case of Spontaneous Creativity With No Constructive Outlet (workus spurtitis) and created his own rather clever and well-written adventure module, led a group of friends including me through it, and promptly buried the D&D books again. Which was a good thing, since that was how I knew the books existed.
Nathan probably would do it too. When he gets the opportunity, he can be quite the hardcore gamer. Every now and then he'll buy a new board game he read about somewhere and brow beat the rest of us into playing through it until the best strategies have been worked out. We knew he'd jump at the idea of D&D, however normal he may ordinarily appear. But have him create the game world and lead the story? Even I wasn't that crazy. No, if I wanted to do something other than watch three football games the next day, it was up to me.
"I could DM." At the time, I was in the midst of writing PL:Chronicles and creating a silly little D&D world didn't seem like it would be that difficult. (I turned out to be right.)
Ryan and Ian considered that. There was the obvious lack of experience with D&D rules, no real understanding of the various ways magic items can be abused, the questionable willingness of players to actually show up for a session. But I was willing, fair, with common sense, and the only volunteer for the job. And there's the secret delight D&D players get when they put one over the DM, which is oh so easy for one not steeped in the arcane legalities that determine the fates of characters (and their fortunes).
"Ok, I'll look for the books."
And that's how I became God.
A Minor Debate on Everything.
The next morning I created a city people could adventurers could accidentally meet up at, and a quick little starting adventure. Nathan, Ryan, Ian, and Sam were all present the next day. I was holding court, explaining a little about the game world, when Nathan arrived. Bringing third edition books.
The problem became immediately apparent. Should we stick with the old rules, the well known and well loved second edition (revised) rule set, or strike out into new territory, with shiny new third edition rule books?
It was an important decision. Immediately, there was a faction supporting the second edition rules. Ryan and Ian favored them, since they knew the ins and outs of the second edition with no additional work required. Plus there are all sorts of little special rules that get a mention somewhere and are a part of the quirky high-learning curve 'club' atmosphere that sometimes surrounds D&D. Did YOU know that 50% of all magic swords discovered are supposed to be long swords? There's a certain proper way to abuse dual-classing - you'd best know it before creating your character.
Then there was the new (and maybe improved) crowd. Nathan was the chief proponent, having just acquired these books upon hearing the rumor I'd thought of setting up a campaign. Sam and I leaned towards his position, not because the third edition books were shinier, but because Nathan had TWO of the invaluable 'Player's Guides'.
Nevertheless, Ryan was ready. "Oh let's just play with the old rues." (Dismissive gesture.) "It'll be easier and we'll know what we're doing."
This impassioned argument nearly won over. Sam cocked his head and nodded, as if to consider Ryan's position and find merit. Nathan, not the most push of fellows looked a little disheartened that his shiny new books wouldn't be used and started to put them away. I very nearly shrugged and started talking about the game world again. But something stopped me. Perhaps it was the look on Nathan's face. Perhaps it was the memory of a single Player's Guide being used to create four new characters. Perhaps it was the worry that Ryan might use his superior knowledge of second edition's legalistic arcana to run roughshod over my authority as DM.
"Wait a second. I'm kind of curious about the new rules. Let's just roll up a few characters with the new books and see how it turns out. If it's too confusing we'll just go back to second edition." I decided this would be my first decree that carried the moral force of the DM (I don't think anyone else noticed that part). Nathan pulled the shiny books back out of his bag. Ryan shrugged and sighed.
Long story short, it was the right decision. Everything from the player statistic rolling protocol to class balance and advancement made a little more sense and was a lot easier to carry out. On the off chance we would be adding any new players to our band (Laurin, Yee, and Mike), they would find it easier to assimilate into the game.
By the way, thanks Nathan.
Planning On A Macro-Level
or
How to Screw Things Up Before Starting Play
My first major mistake in running the game occurred even before the characters miraculously met up at an inn. I wanted to be creative. I wanted to be unique. In other words, I didn't lay out the standard medieval feudal based society plus a few large cities with exceedingly complex factions and court politics (and the thieves' guild that, everyone knows, is the real evil power behind the whole town and which your good-aligned characters will inevitably align themselves with in an alliance of convenience and module use). No, I set them up in human-run empire (blatantly copying the Incas) and decided that the world was just leaving the bronze age, with iron weapons only becoming known in select places.
This low-tech 'theme' would limp along for some time, with players grumbling about figuring out the extra weight and making the whole bronze weapons and armor thing rather silly. That best-forgotten whole idea was pretty much phased-out a few months later. But it brings up a good rule of thumb. Have a good reason to deviate from the norm and wacky little theme. If it adds complexity without a lot of fun and the flavor aspect of the change is only brought up for its own sake, dump the idea.
Which isn't to say that my initial plans for the game world and pace of the campaign didn't work out well. On the contrary, I'd say the various races and factions that have come into play and the localities passed-through and frequented have been excellent. I'll also take credit for top-notch villain motivation and weaving a larger story arc than the immediate adventure. And then there's the system of rewards and player gratification.
It's always best when players take their fun from the action, the development of their characters, or the wacky-crazy stuff that always happens in a good game. But sometimes things aren't quite so spontaneous, what makes D&D fun is forgotten for a bit, and players look to see how much experience or loot they gained from the latest adventure.
When it comes to experience and character advancement, I think things went well in our campaign (no thanks to me). Due to a minor clerical error (I mis-read the Dungeon Masters Guide [DMG]), experience was handed out at four times the rate as normal during the early levels of the characters. This turned out to be a blessing, as the sometimes-irksome and vulnerable lower levels breezed by, and I corrected the error in time to slow down the leveling and enjoy at the lots-of-fun-abilities but not-too-powerful adventuring levels (lvls 6-12 from my point-of-view).
Loot and cash hasn't been passed out via standard drop tables, either. This was due to a conscious decision on my part. Getting loot based on the level of the monster, even with the limited common-sense rules suggested, seemed to formulaic to me. So I decided to just figure out what the opponents had available on their bodies when killed and give that out. And I had this odd idea that patrolling soldiers or whatnot don't keep their life-savings on them at all times. There was a bit of contention over this, early on.
"God, Fred is such a cheap DM. Even the inns are ripping us off." Yes, the various players frequently complained about the lack of loot and extortionate prices found in the world I created. Ian, never one to sugar-coat things, put it even more succinctly later. "It's like he created a world just to rip our characters off. He jews them at every opportunity."
I should probably point out that Ian's not racist, or even anti-Semitic at all (although he is anti-religion in general). In fact, after so ably complaining about my tight control of the characters' gold supply, we all objected to his rather offensive statement. Despite being used to his mastery of the inappropriate comment, we try to curb his worst tendencies. After a few minutes of dressing him down (as Ian enjoyed his ability to stir up trouble), Sam played right into Ian's hands. On a conciliatory note the subject had changed back to the perilous state of the PCs finances and Sam remaked, "Fred does gyp us at every chance though".
After strategically waiting for a few muttered agreements, Ian immediately ripped into the group. "What, what?!? We get gypped? Oh my god, I can't... I just can't believe this! That's terrible Sam, just horrible, horrible! Using a racial slur like that, unbelieveable! 'He gypped us', how could you say such a thing?"
(Confusion.) "What, there's nothing wrong with saying you got someone got gypped..."
Except, of course, there is. Using 'gypped' to mean ripped off is directly analogous to using 'jewed' for the same purpose. Both usages refer to an ethnic group, both unfairly negatively label said group. Heck, lots of gypsies were killed by Hitler too. Once again Ian had used logic (well, of a sort) to defeat reason (don't use 'jewed' when talking with people, it's repugnant and racist). Knowing Ian, he'd pondered the hypocrisy of general society rejecting one word and accepting the other and then planned just such a provocation and ambush for the sole purpose of proving his clever point.
Anyway, I think my "jewing" of the characters paid off, whatever the rest of the group might have thought. I'm very familiar with the problem of inflation in role playing games (especially on the computer), and I'd purposefully kept down equipment levels to limit that and make the few items I did let the characters have seem all the more special and treasured. The treasuring of certain items along with good stories and plot lines for obtaining them helped character development and made the game more fun in general. At least I think so. Ask anyone else and they'll probably complain about how they always got gypped... er, ripped off.
The Characters
I guess if I'm going to write a set of D&D vignettes and story-bits, I could actually introduce the player characters. They might come in handy later.
Ryan (Arturo)
There was never any real question what kind of character Ryan was going to make. He never has much fun with any character that's not a plucky rogue (human). The rogue's wide variety of special abilities fits in with Ryan's tactical micro-management, in addition to being a neat class in its own right. Plus Ryan prefers this idea of a guy sneaking around at night, using any dirty trick to achieve his goals. I find this odd, since it's nothing like him in real life. Nevertheless, Arturo would be wanderer with no real goals of any sort, other than sampling new and ever more exotic alcoholic beverages and women. And preserving his own life. Much to my constant annoyance, Ryan's turned Arturo into a defensive marvel who has no rival. Arturo is frequently the public face of the group, always being willing to offer up a handy lie with the occasion permits. He's also the collector of odd magic knick knacks. You'd be AMAZED (or, in my case, flabbergasted or infuriated) by what one can do with a limited-range bat sonar amulet. Even more maddeningly, Ryan manages to play the no-motivation character rather well...
Sam (Duke Blackroot)
Nor was there any question who Sam would be playing. Duke (first name, not title) Blackroot is a half-elven ranger searching for the orc that killed his parents as a young boy. He's everything a ranger is supposed to be, dual-wielding swords but preferring his bow even when that makes no sense. Potent offense, terrible defense, and always forgets he has spells. Duke is hot-headed and courageous, always the first to rush into battle no matter the odds. But no cookie-cutter character is he. He learned more than hatred that fateful day the terrible memory of the massive one-eyed orc warrior was seared into his brain. (The orc was in fact one-eyed before we learned that third edition has a prestige class for one-eyed orcs.) Duke Blackroot will run away from a fight at almost any sign of problems. A little arm scratch and panic takes over. The horrible day is happening all over again, and before the group can cry out 'shit, no, you're our only fighter', Duke is gone. He knows he doesn't have to out run the dire bear, he only has to out run you. And his hide skill is always maxed out. Despite this, everyone knows there would be no turning from battle should Blackroot ever meet that demon-spawned one-eyed orc. His most favored enemy is, you guessed it, orcs; and the one time he ignores all danger is when surrounded by the brutes, blood dripping from the sword...
Yep, Sam likes Duke Blackroot, and the character fits him. We all enjoy the traditional bellow Sam's voice does so well "It's Duke Blackroot time!", which precedes our gaming sessions and individual battles. And of course, the panicked "this bird's gotta fly" that generally follows a fleet-footed escape.
Nathan - Glendon
Of course Nathan would pick a foofy, weirdo character like a druid (wild elf). Heck, we're all just happy he didn't go back to the large, very feminist, very lesbian, and very butch human female warrior that he occasionally thinks he wants to play. True to the druid class, Glendon doesn't get attached to money or minor magic items (although he uses the generosity with the little stuff to extract concessions and major magic items from the rest of the group). Nathan plays Glendon extremely well, despite the handicap of having no genuine goal. (Glendon is from a remote desert oasis society on a five-year mission to explore unknown lands and meet unknown peoples.) He's exceedingly loyal to his animal companions, especially Tiggy, which is true to character and drives Ryan absolutely bonkers when it gets in the way of the group's goals. Nathan's shape-shifting brilliance and the generally good use of special abilities by the group makes Glendon a power character... indeed, his spell list makes no sense unless you've played with these raving lunatics before. It's always the ONE time he chooses to prepare Meld With Stone that it turns out to be key to the whole group bypassing the nefarious trap I set for them. Yep, Nathan is indispensable to the PC group (despite his tendency infuriate Sam by not healing Duke Blackroot right after convincing Sam to stay in the battle and then doing something else) and to the group of friends as well (how else is bestiality [hand smacking my forehead in disgust], real-estate planning, and a whole society based around an magical jug of water going to permeate our D&D campaign?).
Laurin - Arlyanna
The slut. Arlyanna, not Laurin. She's a human sorceress (with very high charisma), that'll sleep with anything that moves who's not in her party. Much to Arturo's constant frustration, he's only managed to bed the sorceress once. Glendon's too absent-minded to notice, and Sam laughingly has Duke play the best-friend and only slightly jealous protector role to Arlyanna's party girl. Arlyanna's quite the party girl, but she also packs a mean punch in a fight. Ryan's careful lobbying has make sure she has a number of sundry spells that do wonders when it comes to enhancing the group (and Arturo). And then there's the fireballs. While she doesn't have the versatility that Glendon has (and Glendon has a few of his own pretty attack spells), Arlyanna is accurately described as the party's mobile howitzer. If she can see it, she can blast it (and will). Laurin may not create many of the zany situations Arlyanna finds herself in, but she's great at playing them to the hilt.
But What About The Adventures? (Of A Sort)
All the characters happened to randomly be staying at the same inn in the capitol city of the human empire that first day of playing. Amazing how coincidences like that happen. Lo and behold, a servant of one of the city's nobility appeared, looking to hire experienced travelers for a mapping expedition. The human empire in question being modeled after the Incas, they were basically being sent into the Amazon basin to discover the mouth of the river, the human empire being familiar with its sources. I figured all sorts of cannibalistic natives and wacky jungle critters would make for good low-level opponents.
Actually, the characters I was just describing weren't all heading off on this mission. I think that first day Ryan, Ian, and Nathan had characters to send into the jungle. Duke Blackroot followed them the next session (the lord though they could, uh, use a little more help) and Arlyanna joined up a few adventures later. Ian's forgettable character disappeared after a regrettable bathroom accident involving dire leeches. (It's never good news for your character when you don't make a gaming session.)
Duke Blackroot's descent into the jungle was actually pretty funny. Arturo and Glendon had already met the small dwarven mining operation situated at the base of the mountains. These dwarves were suspicious of strangers, surly, irritable, and just plain not very nice. It also didn't help that Ryan had been expecting the first dangerous part of the adventure for not particular reason. They were supposed to meet up with the dwarves, present them a letter from their sponsor (the dwarves were also agents of his), collect a boat and some provisions and head downstream. Arturo and Glendon actually managed to do this, but not without alienating the whole band of dwarves, getting into a name-calling match, and in general making fools of themselves. They did see some subtle clues that the dwarves were also double agents for a league of dwarven cities to the south, but I don't think anyone picked up on that. The general rule for subtle hints seems to be that players will pick up on them when they're not there, and miss them completely when they are. I also had the dwarves over charge the PCs for room and board shamelessly.
So by the time Duke Blackroot leaves the trail into the jungle to follow Arturo and Glendon, the dwarves have been properly pissed off by Duke's future companions. Of course, he has no idea (and nor does Sam). More angry words follow. See, the dwarves only had two river boats, and having already given one to Arturo and Glendon, they didn't want to part with the last one. A compromise was suggested. Duke could buy the last one, compensating the dwarves for the cost of a replacement or the time spent rebuilding the one they had. Sam was rather angry when the cost turned out to be just about everything he had left. This was only partially intentional. I knew the ballpark number of gold pieces he had left, but not the exact number. Turns out I was pretty close.
Hey, those dwarves were mining gems. Their time is worth money. Well, Duke nearly comes to blows with the dwarves' spokesperson, who has also taken him to the cleaners for room and board. The situation was finally resolved when he make a few rolls to easily sneak out to the boat and steal it - much to my surprise and disgust. (He may be good aligned, but it's chaotic good bordering on chaotic neutral.) Since Ryan and Nathan were off doing something, this set up a humorous situation much later when the party was done with the mapping expedition (and many, many side adventures), and Sam had to let the others know why the dwarves weren't going to be too happy to see him. To my disgust, they ruined my whole confrontation scene by wrapping Duke Blackroot's face in bandages, claiming he was a burn victim, and leading him around while Duke watched the whole farce using the afore-mentioned bat sonar amulet. Lawful party members need not apply. At least they had the money to pay the extortionate room and board fees without complaining too much to me that time.
That's it? You bastard.
It's getting near the end of work, so I think I'm going to not make this hugely longer than it is already and leave the way open for future vignettes without a lengthy preamble. Hopefully this little article-report will be entertaining enough for now.
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