"Fractal's back. And taking butt and kicking names. Erm.. wait, I have that backwards. Then again, maybe that's right."
-SnowSquall
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| Catch Up to Breakup | | | Author: | | | IP: | 12-253-6XXXX | | Date: | 01/20/03 12:01 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 0, Max: , Min:
Lifetime Rating for k2o4: 4.6667 | |
Catch Up to Break Up
This isn't gaming related. This is a story about 5 intense months of my life. It's a bit of a journey, IMO. All I ask is that you at least read to the 1st set of *** and leave a comment no matter how far you get or what you have to say. Thanks.
Whenever Jen called me I gave her my full attention, except for the few times when I was in the middle of a video game I was about to win. But that rarely happened, and I usually would pause a movie or leave a game or let my dinner get cold when she called. This time I had left a game and taken her call into the lower basement. My room was in the basement of the house, and I had three rooms in the package. Kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom. We used to rent it out, but after I broke up with Jen “for real,” I moved down here because I couldn’t stand the memories that I had to face in my room upstairs. We were back together now against both of our parent’s wishes and I wasn’t having her over to my house anymore at my mother’s request. I was pretty good at honoring those requests. I was a bit worried about whether we would stay together for long this time and keeping her out of my new room worked, because if we did break up again, I wouldn’t have anymore rooms to move into to try and run from the memories.
As she said hello I remembered why I always gave her calls such priority. The sound of her voice could do more for me than any drug had ever done. Her voice relaxed me and made me smile deep. I didn’t answer the calls to make her feel good. I did it for me.
“Are you home already?” I said.
“No, I’m still at school. I’m just calling from Joe’s cell phone. I’m in line waiting for my ID.”
Summer was ending, school was starting again and she was rolling into her sophomore year. I would be a junior. We had been together through a 5-month roller coaster relationship, and had only been back together this most recent time for about a week. The last breakup had been our longest so far, lasting 8 long, painful days. I had counted minutes and hours the entire time we were broken up. It had felt more like a month than a week, and lots had happened during our breakup.
“Joe Blithe?” I said
“Yeah.”
“Nice, tell Joe-man hi for me.”
“I will when I find him. He went somewhere.”
She sounded a bit off. One night we had gone skinny dipping with some friends, and as we were walking to the pool, in our underwear since we had left clothes in the car, a cop pulled up with the searchlight blazing. I ran into a nearby backyard and Jen had followed with her best friend. Jen was drunk and fell over. I tried to get her up but she kicked at me, and started screaming. The harder I tried to help her the more she thrashed out, and I got frustrated and left her with her friend. I met her back at the car and she approached me scared. She asked me if I was mad in the softest voice, like her world depended on my answer. I had been mad but the anger flew out the window when she asked with that voice, and I told her no. We got back in the car and drove home, and she laid her head in my lap.
She was talking in that voice right now.
“What’s up Jen? You don’t sound right.”
She met my question with a moment of silence that worried me.
“I just wanted to ask you something and…”
“Don’t be scared to ask me anything,” I interrupted. “Seriously, never be scared to ask me anything. There is nothing that I won’t answer.”
“Ok.”
“Go on babe, ask away.”
“All right. Did you hook up with anyone other than Rita while we were broken up?”
***
Jen was a freshman girl in a sophomore math class, and at the beginning of the year I barely noticed her. First day of class I had sat down and scanned the room, looking at girls the way I had in all my other classes that day, and noted her as cute but unattainable. I liked her features right away, because she was petite and dark. Jen was small and thin with dark brown hair that fell down to her shoulder blades. She was thin but meaty in all the right places. At that point I was too young to really know my type, but she was it.
The problem was that she was so obviously a good girl. She radiated it from her shiny new backpack with the pens in the individual pen slots to the new notebook sitting open on her desk being filled with notes of the teachers greeting speech. I sized her up and moved on because we were of different worlds. My backpack wasn’t even mine; it belonged to a friend who had left it at my house after using it to carry beer. I had a notebook from the previous year that was thin from all the torn out pages, and I was using the paper as a place to practice graffiti.
I still liked that math class though, because there were a few girls to flirt with, one of which was an ex girlfriend, a sexy redhead who seemed to still have a thing for me. I never talked to Jen until the second semester of that year, and she was the one who initiated the conversation. It turned out that our parents knew each other, and technically we had met before. Years earlier our families would go on hikes in the mountains together, meet for shows and have dinner at each others houses. I didn’t remember her at all, but she said she remembered coming to my house and being constantly teased by my brother and myself.
“Well I’m sorry we teased you. What jerks we were.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m not emotionally scarred anymore, though it did take years of therapy to get over.”
We had even gone to middle school together but I never noticed her. She had noticed me though, and my brother, and my friends, because we were the group that got noticed. In 8th grade I had been on top of the social world.
“I had a locker near Stephanie and used to hear her talking about the parties up at your house.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. All the 8th grade girls would talk about them. My friends and I would always talk about how much fun it would be to go to your house.”
“Damn, if I had known you I would have invited ya.”
After our first conversation things built slowly but smoothly. It was obvious to me that she still thought of me as the cool guy from 8th grade, “Tony Vaughn! Oh my GOD!” like I was some sort of celebrity. Which I guess I was to her. I was enigmatic, the guy she had heard about. What she didn’t know was that once I became a freshman I had become a nobody all over again. My group had tried, but all the girls our age were drawn to the older guys with cars and status. Freshman year was a year of partying with guys only, major sausage fests, and taking the bus. Sophomore year had started out well, but by the second semester all the freshman woman we had been partying with had moved up to the juniors. Jen missed that initial wave of partying because she wasn’t friends with those girls, the ‘bad’ ones. She was a goodie.
***
“Huh?” I said, buying time.
“During the week we were broken up… was there anyone else besides Rita?”
I panicked for a second, but quietly, because there had been someone besides Rita, but no one knew. Or at least, no one should know, and since Rita was bad enough I had omitted Cindy. I hadn’t lied to Jen because, well, I just never mentioned it and she never asked, but now she was asking and I didn’t know what to do. The relationship was very fragile and I didn’t want to lose her again.
“What are you talking about girl?”
“Well, see, Joe told me that you were naked in your room with some girl from Texas, and I told him he had to be wrong. He said that Jimmy was there and saw it all for himself. So, now I’m calling you to see what this is all about.”
I realized how the information had transferred, and I found it ironic that this was happening, because when she had cheated on me things had happened in a similar way. I panicked a bit more. Her voice sounded so shaky and quiet that I imagined a twig trying to hold up a 3-pound weight, on the verge of snapping. I thought if I told her what happened that the twig would snap and our reunited relationship would be short lived. I didn’t want that. So I lied to her and told her that Joe had no idea what he was talking about, and that Jimmy was full of shit. I acted completely bewildered by the question, and I told her the first flat out lie of our relationship.
***
One night after I started talking to Jen in math class I had a dream that her dad was chasing me through a movie theatre. That’s when I first knew that she was starting to get to me. When I went to math the next day I passed her a note telling her about the dream. She thought it was weird and out of character. She said her dad was the nicest guy in the world, and if anyone would chase me it would be her mother.
We developed a regular routine of passing notes in math class. There was an open seating chart and we nearly always sat next to each other. Our teacher would usually give us the last 10-15 minutes of class to work on homework, alone or with a partner, and we seemed to always work together. That’s when we did the most talking. Our teacher got frustrated with us because we were either passing notes or talking, and never paying attention. She started intercepting our notes and occasionally forbidding us from working together on certain days, but we never really let that stop us. We just found ways to work around the restrictions.
My redheaded ex girlfriend noticed my new interest and encouraged me. I used her as an accessory to the game. I didn’t want to give Jen all my attention and let her think she was the center of my world, although every day we talked she moved closer to that role. I would talk with Jen and have great conversations, flirt hard, and then the next day I would come to class and ignore her and spend the entire time talking to my ex. At times I wouldn’t want to talk to my ex at all, but I forced myself to do it because I knew it was how you played the game.
As I got to know Jen I found out things I would have never guessed. The first shocker was when she told me that she liked to go to the mall, to shoplift. I laughed when she said it.
“You’re shitting me.”
“I’m not. I’m actually pretty good.”
I found it funny because the only reason I liked going to the mall was to go shoplifting, and this was one hobby I never thought we would have in common. A few days before she told me this I had gone to the mall drunk during my lunch period and shoplifted a sweatshirt and a t-shirt for fun. I left them in my friend’s car and never saw them again.
“Ok. Then tell me how you do it.” I said.
“Easy. I take a shirt into the dressing room, take the alarm off, and put it on under whatever I’m wearing. I usually don’t steal clothes though.”
“Wait. How do you get the alarm off?”
“I just pull it off. It leaves a little hole but that’s ok, no one ever notices. Actually, I think I stole this,” she said, indicating the fleece she was wearing. She started examining it around the waist and then said with a spark of glee, “See! Here’s the hole.”
I grabbed her shirt and examined the hole and nodded my head in approval. “You said you don’t steal clothes normally. So what do you steal?”
“Usually I go for jewelry. It’s so easy to get jewelry from Foley’s. They have so much that isn’t strapped down.”
I could picture what she was talking about because I had stolen the silver chain that hung on my neck from the Foley’s jewelry department. They had a lot of things on those cylinders that spun around on their middles.
“Oh god, one time, with Lynn, I had stolen some perfume and slipped it up my sleeve. Then Lynn and I went over to the jewelry and as I was slipping a necklace down my sleeve a security guard appeared out of nowhere. He asked me what I was doing and I put on a sweet innocent look and said that I was just looking at the jewelry. It was so obvious that I was stealing it, but he bought it. For some reason people give young girls the benefit of the doubt.”
The second thing that shocked me was that she drank, and partied, even if her parties weren’t as prestigious as mine. And she had a fascination with teasing guys. She had never had a boyfriend but she recently started having get-on’s this year. Throughout middle school she had been a tomboy. “That’s probably why you never noticed me.”
“That’s no excuse, I should have noticed you anyway.”
She told me about a guy at a party, a guy she had taken into a room and lain on a bed. She laid him on his back and she was on top, in charge and in control, and she had pulled his clothing off between bouts of kissing. She got him down to his boxers and then she started taking off her clothes. Once she got down to her underwear she hovered her head around his crotch. “It’s fun to pull on the elastic of a guys boxers and watch his face. He got so excited.” After a few more minutes of looking like she was going to go all the way she gave him a final kiss on the lips, got dressed and left. Leaving him there hard and longing was her favorite part.
From the way she told it I imagined a dark room with her crawling on all fours over a submissive body on a bed. That was the only story she told me about her parties and from then on I would always picture her seducing and teasing guys when she was at a party. In my minds eye she didn’t even talk to people at parties, she just walked in, chose a guy and dragged him to the bedroom to tease him.
***
After I lied to Jen she cheered up and we made plans to meet that night. We agreed to meet at our regular spot, about a block away from her house, at 11:30 pm. It was only 2:00 and I had an entire day to kill until I saw her. I went back to play video games but was too internally torn up about lying to her to concentrate. Every time I had been upset with Jen it was because she lied to me, and I had always been on her case to be honest. I always promised to tell her the truth, no matter what, yet I had just lied. I knew that most people promised to tell each other the truth when they were in a relationship, but barely any of them followed through. It was normal. But I didn’t want to be normal and I believed that we could be the exception. And up until then I had been the exception, even if she hadn’t. Now I was just one of the masses and our relationship was average.
I had been seeing a therapist since the beginning of 9th grade after my mom had suggested I go. My mom was going for divorce counseling and was impressed by the woman because, as my mom put it, she was, “no bullshit and really hip.” After my first session I was in agreement with my mom and I started to finally enjoy therapy. I had been to many other therapists for different reasons, mainly anger, and hated all of them. I tore through several school counselors and they never wanted to see me again. Other outside professionals had bored me to death and I had refused to go after a time. But this woman was different. Now I thought of her as my therapist, and even more, as one of my friends.
She had a lot to do with my getting together with Jen in the first place. Initially I had gone to her for anger, but after that issue was settled I asked her for advice on the one thing that was truly plaguing me. Woman. My therapist taught me the rules of the game and Jen was the first girl I got to try the game out on, and it worked. During that time I asked for weekly appointments so that I could get more tips before I messed things up. My mom must have thought that I was on the verge of a breakdown, and she had paid for all the appointments and driven me every week. I don’t think she would have gone through so much trouble if she knew I was just receiving advice on how to get girls.
My therapist had been there for everything that happened with Jen, and she knew the story better than any of my friends. And to my luck, I had an appointment with her later that day, about two hours after I talked with Jen. With this new development on my mind I was anxious to go talk with her. I thought it all over as I waited for the time to leave, and was absorbed in thought the entire drive over.
When Jen and I broke up this last time things were at an all time low. We had been banned from seeing each other by both of our parents for two weeks and I hadn’t seen much of her. I had dumped her and tried to tell myself that it was the last time I would dump her, that I wouldn’t take her back again. I had a habit of breaking up with her and telling myself that it was over, unless she really proved that she loved me. All it took to prove her love was a few phone calls and dealing with a few hang-ups. Maybe give me a bit of a speech on how much she really loved me. Of course, she always filled those requirements, and we always got back together.
But this time I swore it would be different. I told her not to call me. She did call anyway, but I checked the caller ID every time the phone rang and didn’t answer her calls. I told my brother not to answer her calls or give me the phone when she called. I went out, rented a stack of movies and bought a new video game so that I could get lost in that world and hopefully forget about her. I couldn’t play the old video games for the same reason that I moved out of my room; the memories. The smallest things were able to bring the memories crashing down on me, and I was too weak to deal with them so I avoided all that I could.
I even smoked weed for my first time in about 8 months in an attempt to forget, and it worked while I was high, but once I came down and was only stoned, I remembered why I quit in the first place. Even when I’m happy with life I get depressed when I fall into the stoned state, and having just broken up with Jen I was almost suicidal. I may have tried if not for the fact that I couldn’t move since I was so depressed. I could barely breathe. By the time I could move again and I was a danger to myself, I had sobered up enough that I was under control.
I started trying to get over Jen by hanging out with other girls, and the one I chose was a girl I had had my eye on for a long time. Rita. She was another short and thin cutie pie, but she was dirty blonde, not dark brown. She acted a bit ditzy in crowds, but one-on-one she was actually damn smart. She was a close friend of Jens, one of the girls in her group of about 5, but she also knew about the lies Jen had told me and didn’t like what Jen had been doing to me.
I had gotten to know Rita well over the time I was with Jen because I was her friend’s boyfriend, and that gave me access to a side of the girls that the other guys missed out on. Since I wasn’t available they treated me differently. I had always tried very hard to be extra nice to Rita since she was always appealing to me, and there were a lot of times where I gave her rides home after parties. We had gotten to know each other pretty well during those drives, but I had always been good about not flirting dangerously.
Jason was dating Whitney then, and Whitney and Rita had been best friends forever, so I took advantage of the set up and started inviting Jason and Whitney up to my house so that they had somewhere to go. In return for my favor Whitney would bring Rita and I would have someone to keep me company. Within the first four days of my breakup with Jen, Rita came over three times. The first time it was a double date scenario and I talked with her all night. The second time it was a bigger party and I gave Rita attention, which surprised her according to Whitney. The third time I had set up another double date scenario. I had moved into the basement and we enjoyed our little party down there. We drank in the living room and then Rita and I went into the bedroom. We talked for about half an hour and then I made my move, which she accepted graciously.
We had sex that night, which was beyond my expectations since she was a virgin. It took a lot of work, part of which was about an hour massage, and when we were done Rita’s cell phone started ringing. It couldn’t have been more than 2 or 3 minutes after we finished, I still had the condom on, and her cell phone was ringing. I found it funny. When she answered the phone I could tell by her face that she wanted to say something like, “Oh shit!” When she hung up she told me that it had been Jen.
***
All my friends started dropping out of the public high school and enrolling in a private high school called Horizons. I was aware of the school because all the hardcore druggies I knew went there. The rumor was that you could buy yourself a transcript. I heard that rumor from my math teacher when she was lecturing the class about doing homework. She said something like, “or you could just drop out and go buy your transcript at Horizons like all those other losers.” We all laughed and I liked her for her guts. I remember thinking that I would never be one of those losers.
But all my friends kept disappearing and school became worse and worse. I started ditching constantly. I would go to my first period, late, and then ditch the next three periods, but I would always come back for fifth period, which was math class. Sometimes I wouldn’t even come in the morning. I would just show up in time for math class and then leave after it was over. I went because I wanted to see her. I hated the school and I felt alone there since all but two of my friends had gone to Horizons, but I wanted Jen, and was willing to stay so I could see her everyday.
One day while talking with Jen I said, “I never see you hanging out with anyone when I see you around the school. I see you in the halls and you’re all alone. Don’t you have any friends?”
“Yes! I do! Seriously. You just must see me at the wrong times.”
“Jen, it’s ok. You don’t have to lie. I won’t stop talking to you because you don’t have any friends,” I said.
“Ha Ha. I do have friends. Don’t worry.”
I was having a great time flirting with Jen but I kept copping out whenever it came to asking her to do something. One Friday I decided that it would be the day. I didn’t know what I would ask her to do since I never really went to cool parties anymore, which was part of the reason I was having trouble asking, but I decided I would ask anyway. I started writing her notes and started working towards the big question, but yet again I couldn’t do it. Even through a note I couldn’t do it. So I settled for writing something long and giving her a few compliments. By the time I finished class was over and I got it to her just as she was heading out the door.
That day I stayed through the rest of my classes. When school ended I was wandering around the front and trying to decide what to do. I didn’t have my car yet since I wouldn’t turn 16 till March, so I was still bus hopping. The bus that ran by our school was called the “skip” and the older kids called us “skippers.” I had stopped taking the bus out to lunch because it was so ridiculing to get off the bus while other kids drove into school.
The initial rush of kids was gone and I looked up at the bus stop, deciding whether I should go, and I noticed someone sitting in the bus shelter. I wasn’t sure but I thought it was Jen. She was sitting all alone. I took the chance and I crept up on the shelter. Her back was to me and she didn’t see me coming. Through the glass I could see that she was reading something. I put my face against the glass and saw that it was the note I gave her earlier. That put a smile on my face. Then I pounded the shelter with my palm and scared her. She gave a cute little jump in her seat. I came around and talked with her a bit, not mentioning that I knew what she was reading.
“See, you’re always alone. Or are your friends here? Imaginary friends are ok you know.”
“Funny.” She said and gave me a sly grin.
We got on the bus when it came, and I let her on first, and I finally noticed what an amazing ass she had. I never realized it before because she was always sitting when we hung out in class, but going up those stairs it was right there in my face and I was blown away.
I wasn’t able to get the balls up to ask her to do something, so we parted without plans to see each other. I spent that night kicking myself for not doing anything. I had had the opportunity to ask her and I didn’t. I felt that I would regret it for the rest of my life.
About 9:30 Jimmy called me and asked if I wanted to go to this freshman girl’s house.
“Who?” I said.
“Rita. Ya know, Rita Gilmore.”
I knew but wasn’t excited. I had been hoping he would say Jen.
“I dunno man. Who’s gonna be there?”
“It’s just a couple girls right now, and then you and me if we go.”
“What girls?”
“Lynn, Rebecca, and Jen.”
“Jen Thayer?”
“Yeah. Why, you know her?”
“Fuck yeah I know her. Lets go. How we gonna get there?”
“My mom will drive us.”
I had blown so many handed opportunities that day and still everything was working out. Things felt like they were meant to be.
I got ready quickly, applying some Drakkar cologne to my wrists and neck, and then misting the air and walking through it. I put on a big Nautica jacket and some warm-up style pants, and a beanie on my head. I never dressed this way, but for some reason I wanted to dress like a thug. I wanted to look like I just didn’t give a fuck. I rolled up one leg of my pants up to my knee for more effect.
When we got there the first thing I noticed was Jen, and it was strange because she was a little bit drunk. She ran away when she saw me and fell onto Rita’s bed and again I was faced with that ass. I tried not to look and moved into the room. I stayed cool for about 20 minutes, giving Jen very little attention, and then I sat on the bed next to her and leaned back against the pillows.
She tried to steal the pillow I was lying on and I grabbed it back.
“It’s my pillow!” She said.
“No it’s not. It’s mine girl.”
She went after it some more and I held on and then stole her pillow from her. We went on like this for a while. We were flirting in what is always the best way, the most childish way. Eventually everyone cleared out and left the room, and she put on a movie, Cruel Intentions. She said it was one of her favorites. We got under the blankets and our limbs touched each other lightly. As the movie went on we got closer and closer. I was overwhelmed with excitement. This had been nearly 2 months in the making. I had never wanted a girl as much as I wanted her, and we had barely scratched the surface.
By the end of the movie we weren’t watching anymore and I was holding her hand and caressing her breasts, over the shirt. I kissed on her neck a bit but didn’t go for her lips. She was being extremely passive, and I didn’t want to go for it without all the signs. I wasn’t getting all the signs, so I tested the waters and then backed off.
It was fine with me. Instead I talked. We lay there and I just started talking, and I was finally able to get places since I didn’t have the teacher constantly looking over our shoulders. I told her stories about the parties she had heard about, and about fights I had been in and about times Mattson and I had gone to school high or eaten mushrooms in art class. It was the strangest experience, because she only listened and looked at me, or looked away, and I put an arm around her and stroked her face and hair with my free hand. Sometimes I worried that I was boring her but when I asked if I should shut up she was insistent that I keep talking.
We talked for about three hours. Eventually we just laid quietly. We lay quietly for a long time, and it was heaven. I decided to test the waters again, and rubbed more of her body. She was more receptive but still not all the way. I went for the button on her pants and she didn’t push me away but didn’t offer help. I undid the button but they still wouldn’t come open.
“There’s a safety pin. They don’t make these pants small enough for me, so I have to safety pin them to get em tight enough.”
I found that to be extremely cute. I went after the safety pin but couldn’t undo it with one hand and didn’t want to go at it with two.
“Well, it’s giving me trouble.”
“Really? I would figure you for one that would have no trouble undoing a girls buttons.”
“Buttons and bra’s I can do in a flash. I could get your bra undone and you wouldn’t even know it. But safety pins I have no practice with.”
“Well that’s a shame.”
“Sure is. More for you than for me though.”
“Oh well.”
I smiled and kissed her on her neck. “Button yourself up. Maybe next time, if you’re lucky.” Then I got up and left the room. Jimmy and her friends gave me a look when I left and I knew they thought something nasty had been going on.
That night when I got home I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t distract my mind. I laid in my bed looking at the ceiling thinking about Jen until the sun rose and was well in the sky before I finally drifted away.
***
The drive to my therapist’s house took about 25 minutes, and took me out of Boulder. She lived in far north Boulder, outside of the city, out in farmland. She took appointments at her office and house, and today was a house day. I liked going to her house more because it gave me more time to drive, and I did my best thinking while driving. I liked to have my thoughts in order when I saw her because time was always limited. That was the only thing I didn’t like about seeing her. She usually went over time with me but it still didn’t feel like enough. Also, it was hard to understand the relationship because she told me she was a friend and I thought of her as a friend, but I had to pay to see her in prescheduled time slots.
Jen found out about Rita, somehow, after that first night. She knew the next day. Rita called me and told me she was scared, because Jen was vicious. Rita was afraid that Jen might attack her and rip her eyes out, but as Rita shared her fears I felt that she was scared of the wrong things. During one conversation early in our relationship Jen and I were talking about what happens to people when they mess with us. I was telling her about a guy who had talked trash to me in 8th grade over the phone. He promised to find me and kick my ass, but he never made good. Then, early sophomore year, I had been with Jason, who was smoking weed during a lunch break, and he had brought a new kid with him. This new guy told me his name and I recognized it, but couldn’t place him then. Later that day I realized that he was the one who had called me in 8th grade. I went up to him and asked if he still wanted to kick my ass. At first he said no, but I kept at him. Then he flinched and told me he would have his older brother kick my ass. I began yelling at him and got in his face, and he pushed me. I pushed him back hard and he fell on his ass. The bell rang and the crowd pulled us apart. I went to class enraged, planning on getting him the next passing period, but when I got back to the locker area things were already being handled. Travis, an older friend of mine, was pushing the kid all around the place, yelling in his face, screaming, “You starting shit with my friend?!? Who the fuck do you think you are bitch? You’re just a lil slut!” I hadn’t expected this to happen, hadn’t asked for any help, but it was happening. I went to go take over but there was nothing left to do. By the time I got there the kid was crying and Travis had him get on his knees and beg for an apology. After a bit of begging I let him go.
Jen had liked my story and offered one of her own. Hers was simpler to tell but somehow much crueler. She was friends with a lot of guys and earlier that year one of their girlfriends had gotten jealous of Jen. The jealous girlfriend started spreading rumors about Jen being a slut. Jen tried to talk it out but the girl was a bitch, so Jen retaliated. She dug up dirt and was able to dig deeper than anyone would have ever imagined. She spread the dirt around the school quickly and by the time Jen was done the jealous girlfriend had lost her boyfriend, her friends, and transferred out of the school, never to be seen again. Hearing that story showed me how much more vicious female warfare was than the male way. Eventually I had become friends with the kid after he apologized, but Jen had basically banished her enemy forever.
So as Rita informed me about Jen knowing what had happened with us and how she was scared of having her hair pulled, I worried for Rita on another level. But for some reason I didn’t warn her. I let her fear a physical attack.
During the first few days post breakup I had also been online a lot, and I had received a random IM from someone. They told me that they were female, 16, and had just moved to Boulder from Houston. They thought my profile was funny and noticed that I lived in Boulder. Did I want to show her around town?
It was beyond strange but I had played around and had fun with it. We talked during the days and I hung out with Rita during the nights. I found out that I was talking to sisters, an older 18 year old and the 16 year old. The day after I slept with Rita they asked me to call them. I called, nervous but knowing that I had nothing to lose, and I talked with them for a while. By the descriptions they had given me the younger one was more my type. Short with dark brown hair and what she said was a generous rack. The older one was supposed to be taller with dirty blonde hair and smaller breasts. The younger one seemed to be after me also, and she was whom I usually talked to. But during the phone conversation the younger one was too shy to talk and I spent the entire time on the phone with the older sister. We got along well. We organized for them to come out and visit me that night.
I invited my friend Devin, who was in the eye of all girls at our school, even the older ones, to come and be with me to meet these girls. He was extremely nervous. He was supposed to take the ugly older sister off my hands so I could handle the younger one. He was going to jump on the grenade for me. When the girls were about five minutes away they called to let us know they were nearly there. We went outside to wait for them. After a few minutes of nervous pacing they pulled up, and oddly enough, my brother rolled up in Drew’s car at the same time. Ricky was being dropped off. I went to the girl’s window to greet them and Devin took the opportunity to fill my brothers place in the car and drive away, leaving me all alone.
I was shocked to see how cute the driver was and how ugly the passenger was. I was shocked because the older sister was driving. The younger sister fit her description pretty well since she was short and she did have dark brown hair and she did have large breasts, but she hadn’t mentioned that the breasts were only big because she was gigantic. The older sisters breasts were smaller than the younger sister, but just about any breasts would have been.
I brought them inside and we had an awkward, quiet, and tense 20-minute sitting session in my kitchen. I was in awe by the older sisters beauty. She had a delicate face and fine features, and her body was thin and tight. She didn’t really have dirty blonde hair. She had just highlighted her dark brown hair, and it worked on her. Her voice was thick with a Texan accent and it was sexy as hell. But we had nothing to talk about so we sat quietly and uncomfortably until they left. But I did finally learn her name. Cindy.
When she got home we talked online and then we weren’t shy anymore, and we had both found each other attractive. We organized to meet the next night. She would bring a girl she met through the volleyball team. They were having summer camp and practices. I promised to have a friend for her friend.
The next night she showed up with two friends and I only had one friend, Jimmy, with me. The numbers were off. We brought them down to my basement living room and we all sat on the couch. It was a long couch with five seats that could each fit about two people. It was a repeat of the night before and silence prevailed. The girls giggled on occasion after whispering to each other, probably talking about how lame we were. Jimmy and I tried to start conversation a few times but failed horribly. Then we realized what was wrong… we didn’t have any alcohol. We called our friend Derwin and had him come pick us up. He had a fake ID and could buy. We crammed everyone into his car and Cindy sat on my lap. Things stayed awkward until we got the alcohol. Then the girls started to loosen up.
We drank outside, across the street from my house since my mom had made a big stink about not drinking in our house anymore, and after we were drunk we made our way back downstairs. As we walked Cindy fell onto me and we were suddenly holding hands and talking. It just took a bit of liquor to loosen our pride and souls. Liquid courage. Once downstairs we turned on the music and Cindy and I danced in the living room. Derwin left for some reason. I didn’t understand why, we had 3 girls, 3 guys, and alcohol, but it wasn’t enough to keep him around. The other girls joined in on the dance and Jimmy did too. Suddenly I realized that Cindy wasn’t dancing anymore and I looked into my room and saw that she was sitting on my bed, in the dark. It was a signal if I had ever seen one.
I made my way into the room, closed the door and locked it, and then jumped onto the bed with her. We went a little wild, and she surprised me with how quick she moved. Before I knew it we were both naked and I had my fingers inside of her. I was working a condom out of its wrapper when someone started pounding on the door like the world was ending.
“CINDY WE GOTTA GO!”
“NO!”
“YES! CINDY WE HAVE TO GO! WE HAVE TO BE HOME!”
It was one of Cindy’s girlfriends cock blocking and I cursed Jimmy for not keeping her entertained. I expected Cindy to get up and leave me, coming to her senses about what she was doing. Maybe she liked me or maybe she was just really drunk, but she didn’t do that at all.
“GO AWAY KATE!”
“CINDY! WE HAVE TO GO!”
“KATE, JUST GO AWAY FOR TEN MINUTES! GIVE ME TEN MINUTES!”
Hearing that I started back at the condom, working it out of the wrapper.
“CINDY, I CAN’T LET YOU STAY! YOUR MOM WILL BE MAD IF YOU’RE LATE!”
“FUCK THAT! JUST GIVE ME TEN MINUTES!”
To myself I was thinking, ten minutes is fine, just give her ten minutes you bitch! I slipped the condom on and was getting ready to penetrate when the loudest pounding yet started on the door, and this time a new voice was yelling.
“TONY, IT’S JIMMY! C’MON MAN, THESE GIRLS GOTTA GO!”
“CINDY WE HAVE TO GO!”
At this Cindy exhaled loudly and started putting on her clothes. I was ready to kill Jimmy. I redressed and the entire time we were dressing the door was being kicked or punched or shot or rammed by a bronco, and it felt like the walls were collapsing. We kissed the entire way to the car and they had to pull us apart. I talked to Jimmy afterwards and he told me that he had been getting with one of the two girls, but the third one was left all alone. She had broken up his romance session first and then come after me.
The remainder of the night Jimmy and I spent drinking the rest of the alcohol, and with Cindy gone and my distractions far away I fell back into depression about Jen. I wondered if the fact that I could have sex with one girl and nearly have sex with another, yet still couldn’t stop thinking of Jen meant anything. I wondered if it meant that what we had was real.
***
After our night at Rita’s house I ignored Jen for a week. I talked with my ex every day in math class and the next weekend I went out of town and made sure to hook up with a girl while I was gone. Ignoring Jen and hooking up with someone else was supposed to do two things. First, it was supposed to keep her from thinking she had me and that she was special. It kept the chase going. Secondly, especially the hooking up with someone else aspect, this approach was supposed to help keep me from falling in love too quickly. I could blow this whole thing if I lost my cool.
But after the week of neglecting her I came back and flirted again. I think she was confused but happy. We talked throughout the week and then on Friday I invited her to come over. She agreed to come over and told me to call her later that night with the exact plans. After school I found my friends and made sure to get alcohol. I was on a mission for booze. I had a feeling I wouldn’t have a cool party to take her to, but I had to at least have alcohol. We were able to arrange about 8 forties (40 oz of beer in one bottle) and as it got dark I called her.
Things started to go awry though, and I couldn’t get a hold of her. I ended up calling her best friend, Lynn, and tracking Jen down through her. I talked Jen into riding a bus out to my house. She said she would stop at her friend’s house and get a few girls first. Her friend lived a few blocks from me. My friends and I sat around and started drinking, and an hour after talking to Jen I still hadn’t heard from her. I got the friends number through Lynn and called. When I got a hold of Jen she told me that her friends were scared to come over.
“Why? Am I scary or something?”
“Kinda.”
“Really?” I was amused to hear it.
“You and your friends are kind of intimidating. My friends are scared to go over there and I can’t talk them into it.”
I had her put me on the line with them but I couldn’t talk them into it either. I wondered if they thought we would rape them. I couldn’t imagine any of my friends rapeing anyone. We were more the type of guys who would hunt down and kick the shit out of a rapist.
I gave up on the friends and worked on Jen, and after agreeing to meet her halfway she said she would come over. I walked out wearing the same Nautica jacket, hiding my forty inside it, except for when I would slide the bottle out for a pull. I was kind of nervous but the beer was killing my nerves for me. When I saw her walking towards me I couldn’t help but grin, broadly. She ran towards me when she spotted me and I jogged towards her. We hugged and I wrapped her under my arm and inside my jacket to keep her warm. I let her take pulls off my beer as we walked back to my house.
When we got to my place we went into my brother’s room and she sat on his couch. My friends were in there and I introduced everyone around. Jason, Drew, Vinny and Ricky were the ones there. After I introduced everyone I went to take a quick piss. When I got back Jen was wearing everyone’s jewelry and my friends were saying, “When Tony gets back you should have sex with him. He’s a really good guy. And it would be nice of you to have sex with him. I’m sure he would like it. Cause, Tony really is a cool guy. And he’s not a jerk or anything.”
I walked into the room and they didn’t realize I was back so they kept preaching to her. She was laughing hysterically. When they realized I was there they all gave me hugs and high fives and left the room. I wondered if they could have given me a more awkward set up. I went and laid on the couch with Jen and we finished the beer off. I laid down and she laid on top of me. I whispered into her ear and we held hands. Suddenly she jumped up and said, “Make a wish!”
“Out loud?”
“To yourself.” She said as she ran to the clock, kissed her fingers, and then touched the clock with them.
“Ok, made the wish. Wanna tell me why?”
“Cause it’s 12:12. Whenever you get a time like that you make a wish, kiss your fingers and touch the clock. If you do that before the time changes your wish comes true.”
“Does it really?”
She stood over me now, and gave me a mischievous grin. “Always,” she said. I laughed and reached out and grabbed her around the waist and pulled her on top of me.
We started talking again and I decided I wanted to show her some magic tricks. We moved over to my brother’s bed and I found a deck of cards. I used the bed surface as a table and ran a few tricks on her. She enjoyed them. Then the door was kicked in and my friends were screaming that Vinny needed a bed.
“My eyes are closed,” Drew said as he walked into the room. From out the door I heard Jason yelling, “No, don’t go in there, there’s sex going on in there!”
“SEX!” Ricky yelled. “DIRTY NASTY SEX!”
“Tony, we need a bed, Vinny hurt himself,” Drew said.
“You can open your eyes,” I said, “and bring Vinny in here. We can move up to my room.”
I took Jen upstairs to my room and she showed me her magic trick. It was her magic trick because she claimed to have made it up. She stumped me with it and I traded her the secret of one of mine for the secret of hers. Then we turned the lights off and laid on the bed. This time the pants unbuttoned easily. “No safety pin,” I said with a grin, and she giggled. I fingered her and she said, “Now that’s another reason I hate freshman guys. They don’t know what they’re doing down there.” I kissed her breasts and asked nothing of her, but when I tried to kiss her lips she shied away.
“What?” I said.
“I don’t know. Nothing.”
“C’mon girl. What is it?”
She took a moment to figure her thoughts.
“I guess it’s just that I don’t completely trust you yet, and I don’t want to kiss you because it makes it serious. It means a lot to me to kiss, and I don’t like to kiss someone if I don’t trust them.”
I took that in and for a second wondered why she let me finger her but wouldn’t kiss me. Then I forgot about that and tried to solve the problem.
“How about this. How about we make this official. Lets be together, boyfriend and girlfriend. I want you as my girlfriend.”
She was quiet for a bit. I got worried. When she replied she did so quietly.
“Ok. Ok.”
It was a quiet moment and I held her close and kissed her neck and forehead. I was happier than I had been in ages. This was the longest chase I had ever run, and I couldn’t think of anything else that I wanted more.
She still wouldn’t kiss me though, and she asked for a bit more time. I gave it willingly. I walked her back to her friend’s house and she gave me a peck on the lips as we parted. Walking home I smelt my fingers and it was the sweetest smell I had ever encountered. I didn’t want to wash my hands. It was like candy. She was the first girl I had come across that didn’t reek, and I thought that it fit. This wasn’t just any girl, and I knew it, although I don’t think she had realized it yet.
***
As I drove past the horse stable I remembered the other reason I liked having my appointments at the house. My therapist is lucky to live out here so far away from everything and so surrounded by life and nature. I didn’t see any cars parked other than hers so I figure that she was waiting for me. I was right and when I got to the door I headed straight in. She knew what I was going to talk about before I uttered a word.
“So what’s the latest with Jen? How are things going since you got back together?”
“Good and bad. We’re a bit shaky.”
“To be expected.”
“And then something came up today that I wasn’t planning on.”
“What’s that?”
“She found out about the other girl, Cindy. She asked me about her. I lied and said that I didn’t know what she was talking about. I don’t know what to do, I panicked, I was nervous, I didn’t want her to break up with me.”
“This is quite a situation.”
“Yeah it is. I want to tell her. I really do, but I don’t want to lose her. And you know how upset she was when I first got back together with her.”
I had been avoiding Jen’s calls after I broke up with her the last time, but she was a persistent and sneaky little devil. She created an IM account and said that she was “a friend” of Jen’s. I didn’t believe her at first, but she persisted and I listened. I was pretty sure that it was Jen but I so badly wanted to hear what she was thinking that I pretended to believe. She told me that, “Jen would get on both knees and beg you back! She misses you so much!” and beat through my defenses by saying things like, “What if you don’t talk to her again, and you grow up to be an old man and never find someone who made you feel how she made you feel? Then you will be alone and old and you will know where you passed up your one chance.” That was when I broke down and agreed to meet Jen again.
I met her the next day at a park near her house. I parked around back and when I walked up I saw her sitting at a picnic table in short white shorts and a blue tank top. The second I saw her I was hers again. When we started talking it was awkward at first, and we stayed a few feet away from each other. We started working towards getting back together, but she threw a wrench into the process. She was upset about Rita. Whenever we started talking about it I could see the pain on her face. Just thinking about it hurt her more than any slap or punch or kick I could have thrown. Seeing how much it hurt her made me feel horrible, and I hated myself for sleeping with Rita. I knew that I was within all my rights to do it. We were broken up. It was fair game. But I still hated myself for what I had done.
After much convincing we worked things out. She told me she would need time to get over what she referred to as “the Rita thing.” I told her I understood, because I did understand. But there was one thing I needed before I could get started again. I asked her who she had been with while we were broken up. I told her I wanted the full truth, everyone and everything she had done. I needed all the dirty laundry to be taken out. She told me she had been with 1 guy and he had sucked her breasts. I cringed in pain hearing this, and after that day every time I kissed or touched her breasts I felt the pain. I looked at them like traitors, as if they had betrayed me. I always wondered if she liked how he did it better.
She didn’t ask for whom I had been with and I didn’t volunteer the information. I normally would have volunteered it, but watching how hard she was taking Rita I couldn’t imagine adding someone else to the list. So I stayed quiet.
That meeting in the park turned into an afternoon in the park. We played like little kids. We sword fought with sticks and threw acorns and berries at each other. We lay in the grass together and looked at the clouds. Some kids rode by on bikes and Jen told me that the first one was named Billy and the second one was named Jim.
“How do you know?”
“I just know these things.”
“Really now?”
“Yep.”
“Lets see if you’re right. HEY! Yea, you guys. What’re your names?”
The bikers gave me a confused look and the second one replied, “I’m Justin and this is Billy.”
She giggled with joy at her one correct answer.
“Thanks guys,” I said and waved them off.
“One outta two is pretty good,” she said.
“No, one outta two is fifty percent, and fifty percent is failing,” I teased. She punched me playfully and we wrestled in the playfully in the grass.
We stayed till the sunset and then I dropped her off near her house. I was happier than I had been since we broke up. Happier than after having sex with Rita or nearly having sex with Cindy. I didn’t realize how unhappy I really was until I spent time with Jen again.
But now Jen knew about Cindy and I wondered if that was it. Would that come back to bite me in the ass now? I could keep lying. I could just not tell her, and most likely I could play it off. But did I really want to do that? I didn’t at all. Though, telling her the truth could easily result in another breakup, and I wasn’t sure if my heart was strong enough to handle another one of those.
“So what are you going to do Tony?” my therapist asked me.
“I don’t know. I tell her the truth and I could lose her. If I lie I can keep her, but I’m lying. What do you think?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Actually, I’m pretty sure I know what you think I should do, just not how you think I should do it. Tell me.”
“Ok. First, I think you need to tell the truth. You’re just starting this relationship new and fresh again, and you don’t want to start it on a lie. You need to clean the slate even if it’s just for you. She’s going to be upset, but if you go tell her right away then I think she’ll be able to get over it. And if you do it on your own, without her bugging you for the truth, it should mean a lot. You want her to tell you the truth, so you should do the same for her. But you know that.”
“Yeah, yea. I know. I’m just scared to do it…”
We talked strategy for the rest of the meeting and I left pumped to go. I couldn’t wait till that night, 11:30 pm, so I could pick her up and tell her. I had messed up, I had lied, I had done what I hated seeing others do, I had been a hypocrite, but I was going to fix my mistake. I just hoped that she would accept my apology.
***
Once Jen took the role of being my girlfriend I stopped going to classes at the public high school. I had her. I didn’t need to go every day and flirt with her to try to win her. Now having a class with her everyday was more of a burden than a joy, and since that class was the only one I went to consistently, giving it up meant giving up the entire school. I started the drop out process and talked my mom into getting me into Horizons with the rest of my friends.
Though I didn’t go to classes I still showed up for lifting after school because I was on the football team. I didn’t lift very hard or well, the way I did as a freshman, because I had dislocated my shoulder during the season and hadn’t treated it properly. I was looking at a surgery and was delaying it till the beginning of summer break. One day in the weight room Jason confronted me about my new girlfriend.
“Yo, I dun know bout that girl, but I do know bout her moms, and dat bitch is crazy. The daughter may be chill but that mom will be on your ass.”
“I’m not worried man. I’ve always been good with moms.” Which was true, usually girlfriend’s moms loved me. It was the dads that I had trouble with. They saw through my sweet charming act and knew I was just going to disappear in the end, maybe with his daughter’s virginity in my pocket.
“Shit, you don’t know this mom. I used to chill wit Davis, the older brother, and she would go psycho on us. Davis was always hiding from her and when he was at my house we couldn’t answer the phone cause it might be her callin. That bitch even stormed into my house once and grabbed Davis and dragged his ass out kickin and screamin.”
It did sound like a bad situation, but I was sure I could overcome it. I made a mental note to try and become friendly with the mom as quickly as possible. So far I had talked with her briefly on the phone while calling Jen and had always been polite, and she had always been kind. We even made some small talk on occasion.
Things with Jen built well and spring came quickly. By April, a month into dating, it felt like summer was already in town. I found out that Jen was on the tennis team and told her I would go watch her meet. I wanted to go and support her, as well as see her in the short tennis skirt that she told me about. Jen was embarrassed and didn’t want me to come, but I did anyways. To top off her embarrassment about me being at her meet she also forgot to bring the spandex shorts that they wear under the skirt. That meant that anytime she made a big move the skirt flew up and showed her panties. She walked around with both hands holding the skirt down until her match came, and then she couldn’t hold it down anymore. Of course, just her luck, she had on red panties that day, so every time the black skirt flew up they were impossible to miss. At least it wasn’t a thong day. It was funny to watch but I also felt a bit unsettled. I didn’t want the rest of the crowd seeing her panties. I was almost jealous, but I didn’t know who to be jealous of. I didn’t say anything though; I just encouraged her to keep playing. She won all of her matches and I was happy, but not really surprised. I knew she had it.
Her mom figured out that we were together after I started the constant calls, and about three weeks into our relationship Jen’s mom stopped the polite pleasantries. One night I called Jen and her mom answered.
“Hey Cathy. Is Jen in?”
“Yeah she is Tony. I’ll get her in a second. First, I just want to have a word with you.”
I felt that something was wrong. “Sure, what’s up?”
“I see what’s going on here. I see that you’re after my daughter. I’m guessing that she likes you too because she takes your calls, but she hasn’t said anything to me. But I know about you. I have heard about what happens up at your house. I have heard about the parties and the drinking and drugs and sex that go on up there. Don’t think that I don’t know. I don’t want Jen wrapped up in all of that, understand? And if you bring her into that world I will put a stop to it.”
I didn’t quite know what to say. I was surprised that Jen hadn’t mentioned that we were together, and I also knew that I had to be friends with this woman.
“Cathy you are right about Jen and I. I like her a lot and we’re dating. As for the other stuff, please don’t worry. I don’t want Jen involved in that world either.”
“Well if you don’t want her involved with those things then maybe you should stop seeing her,” Cathy said. I took the stab stoically.
“No, I don’t want that Mrs. Thayer. Jen and I can be together and avoid that world.”
“Ok. I just want to be sure we’re on the same page. Here’s Jen.”
Jen’s view on the situation was that her mother would be crazy no matter what I did or what Jen did, and the best we could do was to ignore her. I didn’t quite agree, because I knew it would be hard to just ignore her mom, but when Jen got her mind set on something it was impossible to change it. It was something I loved and hated about her. So, rather than trying to work with her mom Jen rebelled and I kept trying to make friends. Cathy blamed me for Jen’s rebellion and things just got worse.
But when Jen’s mother wasn’t after us we had a great time. I got into Horizons and kept weight lifting most every day after school. Jen would come to see me during the lifting on occasion. One day she showed up high off weed right as the after school lifting started. I was doing bench press with Devin spotting when he saw her at the door and told me I had a visitor. I headed out and she pushed me up against the hall wall and started kissing my neck.
“Lets go up to your house, right, now.” She whispered into my ear seductively. I started getting nervous because I was wearing gym shorts and a small undershirt, and she was making me hard in a way that I would not be able to hide in that outfit. Also, I couldn’t leave, because I had already checked in and leaving now would bring me hell from the coaches. Not showing up was one thing, which I had no problem with, but disappearing after making an appearance was very different.
“C’mon, just ditch.” She said as she reached down my shorts and grabbed a handful. At that moment one of the coaches walked into the hall and said, “Vaughn, get back in here.” Jen pushed up close to hide the location of her hand, and the coach chuckled seeing my girlfriend all over me.
“The ladies can wait until after you lift Tony. Get back in there.”
I nodded and said to Jen, “Sorry babe, I gotta go. After I lift we can go to my house, ok?”
She looked like she was going to cry and I almost said fuck it, lets go, and I would have if the coach wasn’t standing right there. She quietly replied, “ok,” and I gave her a hug and headed back inside, trying to hide the new corner on my shorts.
After that I ditched lifting a lot so that I could take her up to my house, and every time I took her there it was worth it.
Two months into our relationship Jen’s mom blew a fuse and decided that Jen wasn’t allowed to go out on the weekends anymore. Her plan started on a Friday and was to be enforced by Jen’s father, who showed up at Jen’s last class of the day and stood at the door to escort her to her locker and then home. We had planned to hang out after school for a bit because I was leaving that night to go rafting all weekend with my dad. When Jen saw her dad she blew up, yelled at him, stormed past him, past me, and out of the school. I didn’t get to see her before I went on my trip, but she called my dad’s cell phone and we talked a bit. She wanted me to ditch the trip, pick her up and drive her away from the mess her mom had made of her life. I wanted to do it, but I couldn’t leave my dad because I hadn’t seen him at all recently.
The next day we canceled rafting due to weather and drove home. When I got back to the house I called Jen, worried about her, but she was fine and happy again. She told me that she had gone to a party with some college guys and had a great time.
“I even got drunk and was a good girl. One guy was hitting on me and wouldn’t leave me alone so I slapped him. And the guy who owned the house, Justin, was my protector. He kept all the guys away from me. He was really cool too. He had just broken up with his girlfriend who he was in love with. I told him all about you and he completely understood my feelings for you.”
It was hard to not be nervous hearing her story because it was the perfect set up for a 15 year old girl to get taken advantage of, but I decided to trust her and I tried to share in her enjoyment of the evening. Two days later, on Monday, a friend of mine got a hold of me and told me that during his science class with Jen she had bragged about having sex with a college guy over the weekend. I trusted my friend and I called Jen up and broke up with her for our first time. It didn’t last very long though, because she called me right back and convinced me that she had been joking when she told my friend that. We worked it out quickly and went on as if nothing had happened.
About two weeks later the seniors threw rotten eggs and jars of rotten mayonnaise all over the lockers. Jen called me up since I wasn’t at school and asked if I would pick her up because she couldn’t stand the smell. I had the luxury of only really having to go to school when I wanted to, which meant about one time a week, because Horizons was such a joke. I went down and picked her and her friend Christine up, and brought them up to my house. My brother was home and he took charge of entertaining Christine. It was noon and late May, and for me it felt like summer break had already started since the weather was nice and I never went to school anyway.
Jen and I went to my room and had sex with the windows and sliding door to the balcony open. My brother turned on some Biggie downstairs and played it loud, and he went outside and sat on the trampoline in the backyard with Christine. After we were done Jen and I got into our underwear and she gave me a back massage. We were both shy about being naked in front of each other, and unless it was dark we had sex under the covers and put our underwear back on before moving into the open. Jen would only go down on me if she could go under the covers where I couldn’t watch, though I would always peek because I loved watching. It made me feel like I was starring in a porno.
We were on my bed and Jen was giving me a massage when my bedroom door literally flew open and crashed into the wall. We both jumped. In the door stood Jen’s mother, and when she saw us she went hysterical. We were both too shocked to say anything, and as Jen’s mother screamed Jen picked up her clothes and ran out of the room. Cathy looked at me and seemed to be on the edge of exploding. She pointed her finger at me and tried to talk, but was too angry to produce words. Then she turned around and left. When I went downstairs my brother and Christine were still on the trampoline. I asked him why he let Cathy in, and he didn’t know what I was talking about. Neither of them had any idea about what had just happened.
Things got a bit more difficult after that, but Jen and I still saw each other. I began to give up on making friends with Cathy. Jen was constantly on edge about her mother and always had something to complain about. I imagined their house as a constant war where the mother was always bursting into doors and yelling at Jen, while the father sat back shaking his head, not knowing what to do.
Two weeks before Jen’s school got out for summer we got a bit too drunk and went up to my room to have sex. As we went at it the condom broke, and I didn’t have anymore. We both didn’t want to stop, but we both wouldn’t have sex without protection. I think th |
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