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Report Rating: 9.0, # of Ratings: 1, Max: 9, Min: 9 Lifetime Rating for spiderbaby: 9.0000
CLASH of the TOTEM PEOPLE!
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GREETINGS ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, n00bs of all ages! Uber-spidey Productions is proud
to present to you a free-for-all of lame proportions! Thanks to the outstanding planning and coordination
of MuLepton, Rincewind (though he could not join us for this matchup, unfortunately), and others...some
of the most popular war3 players in the world (well, at least as far as TT is concerned :)) arrived in
channel Totem, ready to put the smack down on all competition. Keep those URL bars locked - this is
one battle report you won't wanna miss!
Let's meet our contestants combatants shall we?
KamikazeChicken, zkss5, Areis,
MuLepton, spiderbaby, Raxor,
TScully, and A_Flayer all find themselves
on the featured battlefield Divide and Conquer, and set out on their quests to annihilate each other.
Starting positions can be seen in the image on your right. MuLepton rallies
behind an ORC banner, while A_Flayer and Tscully find
themselves as new commanders for the UNDEAD scourge. NIGHT ELVES, however, dominate the map as zkss5,
KamikazeChicken, Areis, and Raxor
all command sentinel armies. I, spiderbaby, command the only HUMAN army
on the map.
By the way, in leiu of those great IRC quotes MuLepton uses in his BRs, I've
assembled some gaming trivia to use with my images. Just hold your cursor over the images for a second, and you
should get the trivia. Can you answer the gaming trivia question?
Anyhow, to recap...
Well judging from the starting positions, spiderbaby is apparently going to have A_Rivalry with A_Flayer.
zkss5 and Tscully are situated for a similar rivalry in their corner of the map. KamikazeChicken is
the lucky lonesome who's left to fend all for himself, while the last (bottom right) corner is occupied by the 3 remaining players.
KamikazeChicken churns out 3 archers rapid-fire to escort his Keeper of the Grove. Force of Angry Brutish Trees is selected as
the hero's first skill, and is put to good use as several surrounding creeps fall to the early attack group.
Raxor and MuLepton are quick to summon their heroes as well, with the former opting for the Demon Hunter
and the latter choosing a Blademaster. However, unlike Mr.-This-is-MY-map-and-these-are-MY-creeps, MuLepton
would rather send his grunts and Blademaster to picnic on the outskirts of his base and discuss the pleasures of being orange-clad green guys.
spiderbaby, meanwhile, summons his Mountain Drunkard and sets out with a 2-footman entourage to see how many creep groups
the three of them can take on by themselves. Multiple bets are exchanged.
A_Flayer is content to stay at home while he techs up a bit. Areis, apparently is asleep, as there are
only 4 wisps in the gold mine, a ToL AoW and Altar all sitting idle, and the wisp that built the altar has set up camp at the base of the altar so that it may pray for salvation and xmas presents.
zkss5 is making anti-Tscully troops headed by a Glorified Archer of the Moon. Tscully is making
anti-zkss5 troops headed by a Death Knight.
KamikazeChicken is still killing creeps, gaining experience for his KotG and newly-summoned Demon Hunter.
We've finally got some action down in the southeast corner. Areis finally decided to wake up and build stuff like moon wells
and workers, and has assembled a squad of a PotM and 4 or 5 archers. They're just sitting around, not really doing much when MuLepton decides
to barge in with his grunts and inflict some pain on the lazy Night Elves. However, at the exact same time, Raxor decides that it's time to remind
MuLepton that he is not welcome on Raxor's map! The undefended orc establishment comes under fire by
Raxor's Demon Hunter and archers, forcing MuLepton to abort his assault on Areis before his
grunts even get their first axe swing on the archers. Will he be able to repel the map-hacking attackers?
A_Flayer eventually decides it's time to leave his base, so he sets out with his 2 heroes - a Dread Lord and a Death Knight - to begin creeping. He also sends out a shade to do
some spying on spiderbaby, who's 3-man attack crew has successfully eliminated 3 groups of creeps and is taking a breather before attempting a 4th.
Let's check up on zkss5 and Tscully to see what they're up to...
Interesting. These two have got it in for each other. Tscully continues massing ghouls while she heads out to creep a little, while zkss5 adds a
few hippogryphs to his platoon of huntresses as he prepares to bring the pain to the red undead base. He also decides to get sneaky - he's constructed an ancient protector north of his
base by the trees that surround an enclosed natural expansion, intent on tree-munching his way through for a quick expansion.
KamikazeChicken, as always, is still creeping. Still gaining experience, items, gold. Still all by himself.
spiderbaby finally offers some assistance to his battle-weary Mountain Drunkard and footmen, in the form of a pair of sorceresses to assist in their
creeping efforts. He's also scouted his corner of the map and finally realized A_Flayer is his undead neighbor.
MuLepton was able to ward off Raxor's invasion attempt somehow, and has produced a couple more grunts in the meantime in case Raxor
decides to return. He sets out once again, this time to scout the area to the west. Raxor himself, has used this time to heal his forces at the moon wells back home. He's
also added a few huntresses to join him on his sojurn to take over the warcraft world. Upon grouping his forces, he moves them out to continue his greedy creep-hogging escapades.
Areis, unconcerned with trivial things such as creeping, scouting, and teching, is having fun with the 'Summon Archer' button. Perhaps even too much fun...?
Wait, what's this? More violence! MuLepton's scouting party has inadvertently caught up with his arch-nemesis Raxor and his
creeping party. The melee that ensues soon goes to Raxor's favor, as already-weakened grunts fall easily to a combination of immolation, archer fire, and huntress bounce
attacks. To make matters worse, MuLepton brought his Blademaster into the battle with less than half of his hit points in the first place. MuLepton's
grunts and Blademaster are handily slaughtered and sent off to the spirit in the sky. Sheesh, why can't he and Raxor just get along? Oh well.
Oh, and KamikazeChicken is still creeping.
spiderbaby sends an invisible footman to scout A_Flayer's base. However, he's struck down by spirit towers mere moments after entering the Undead
encampment. He notices 2 or 3 spirit towers and a sacrificial pit before the vision fades out. Either A_Flayer was smart to leave a shade in his base to detect hidden scouts, or he n00bishly forgot
the shade was there, ready to be sent out to scout the map. Either way, it paid off for him this time. Anyhow, this prompts spiderbaby to begin construction of a workshop, as well as a 2nd
arcane temple. It's also time to resume creeping.
A_Flayer, however, will have none of this. He's attached a shade to spiderbaby's Mountain King and notices him moving to attack a nearby cluster of gnolls. Obviously motivated
by the devil himself, he allows spiderbaby to begin his assault on the creeps before moving into position to attack the distracted forces from behind. Preferring to give up the experience points in exchange
for the chance to live another day, spiderbaby retreats his forces back to the relative safety of his towers, while A_Flayer graciously finishes eliminating the creeps
and soaking up the experience for himself.
Meanwhile, zkss5 has had enough of Tscully's scouting/harassment, and decides to put a permanent stop to it. He's parked a force of huntresses, hippogryph riders, a PotM, and a ballista
just outside Tscully's base. He hasn't gone unnoticed, however. Tscully has pulled her forces back home in anticipation of the coming onslaught.
Well, he SORTA makes his move. More like moves (with an 's'). Tscully moves her forces out to engage zkss5 and, upon doing so, succeeds in getting zkss5 to retreat.
But he doesn't run very far. Rather, he begins a series of attacks on Tscully's base, using the ballista to harass her to no end. As Tscully defends against each of his attacks, zkss5 eventually
adds some chimeras to his army. Tscully adjusts by switching from mass ghouls to mass ghouls with crypt fiend and frost wyrm support.
MuLepton is recovering from his rout at the hands of Raxor, and has resurrected his Blademaster and begins to summon a companion hero for him - a Farseer. A couple grunts are also produced as he begins the upgrade to
tier 3.
KamikazeChicken is still creeping. He's into tier 3 now, and has summoned his 3rd creep whore, the Priestess of the Moon.
HOLY SHIT!!!!!! Areis takes action!! Look!
Areis first makes us proud by creeping a group of gnolls, then rallies 351236 archers behind a Priestess of the Moon to attack Raxor! Not very nice if you ask me, especially considering
Raxor was nice enough to stick up for Areis when MuLepton was about to attack. Tsk Tsk.
The attack doesn't last long, however. After destroying an ancient protector, Areis is run off by Raxor's Demon Hunter and accompanying huntresses. Sorry Areis, better luck next time. Time to go back
and hit that Archer button a few more times. :)
Speaking of MuLepton, he still wants the western side of the map scouted out, and since his army was ambushed last time, he decides to send out a lone peon to do the dirty work this time.
A_Flayer, fresh off his grand theft creepage, needs more experience from neutral units to appease his evil heroes. He sets out to the east to clear an expansion mine of it's guarding trolls. On their way,
part of his forces intercept MuLepton's scouting peon as it passes just north of the undead base. Barely alive and scared shitless, the determined peon flees further north, out of range of
A_Flayer's attacking troops...
...and directly in range of spiderbaby's guard towers. :)
zkss5 continues to hate Tscully and attack her. Tscully continues to hate zkss5 for attacking her. zkss5
takes a momentary pause in attacking her to clear that natural expansion his ancient protector tree-munched through to. Then he goes back to attacking her.
spiderbaby's creeping momentum has been seriously downshifted since A_Flayer's ambush. Needing an expansion to fund the workshop and 2 arcane temples that are up and running, he clears the bottom left
mine of the golem and trolls that are there. He begins an expansion there, which is promptly denied by A_Flayer and his trademark 2-hero-4-ghoul army. A minute or two passes before spiderbaby's 2nd expansion attempt
at the lower left corner mine is successful. A_Flayer returns to once again foil his plot, but this time spiderbaby's army is waiting for him, and is quick to run him off.
I'll give you one guess what KamikazeChicken is doing.
MuLepton, with a bad-ass attack force of a lvl 1 Blademaster, lvl 1 Farseer, and 3 grunts decides to again venture westward and wreak havoc upon the non-orcish world. He rallies 2 queued-up grunts to his Blademaster
and sets out.
In a turn of events only fate itself could dictate, Raxor just happened to choose this time to again call down the thunder upon MuLepton, and has parked his
increasingly-powerful army just outside MuLepton's base. The two opposing forces clash, and poor MuLepton once again gulps down Raxor's 2-liter bottle of
whoop-ass. Damn, another scouting attempt foiled by that damn Raxor.
Ah, but wait! The predator soon becomes the prey! As Raxor is mopping up the last of MuLepton's task force,
Areis once again charges into Raxor's base with a full compliment of a thousand archers! Unfortunately for Areis, however, Raxor's army is hardly a screen away,
and he's able to make it back home to defend in ample time, easily fending off the intruders once again with a superior combined force of archers, huntresses, dryads, and his Demon Hunter (who, btw, is a good 2-3 levels higher than Areis' Priestess).
Hark! For that's not the last we'll hear of Areis! Nay, the action is but only beginning once more. After being run off by Raxor, Areis discovers a NEW button over at the Ancient of War - the Huntress button! A few moments pass as
a new posse of of panther-riding elf bitches is amassed. Their sights are then set on a NEW target....none other than (yup, you guessed it)
MuLepton! This attack is much more effective than the previous attempt at Raxor's base - an orcish establisment completely void of any defending military is readily beseiged by the huntress horde. Peons and burrows are quickly destroyed, and STILL no sign of MuLepton's forces. Surely he had enough time to recover the losses
he suffered a couple minutes ago...??
Meanwhile...
zkss5 and Tscully are still going back and forth, picking on each other for all it's worth. zkss5's expansion is going strong, but most of his huntress force has been eliminated, leaving only a couple hunts and Chimeras to escort his Priestess.
Tscully has a slightly stronger military, composed mainly of ghouls and frost wyrms, but doesn't yet have an expansion. How much longer will she be able to keep up with zkss5, especially considering how expensive those frost wyrms are?
spiderbaby has put up a few towers at his expansion while it gets going, and sends a water elemental into A_Flayer's base to scout. Back at his main, he's able to pop out a couple more steam tanks with the additional income from the new expansion.
A_Flayer is still content to stay at home. Shade-o-vision reports that spiderbaby is producing steam tanks, so he puts up another spirit tower and begins construction of a slaughterhouse, intending to pit wagons against tanks.
Let's see what KamikazeChicken is up to...
Now, back to Areis' attack on MuLepton...
The Night Elf forces are still rampaging, uncontested, through the orcish settlement when, lo and behold, Raxor comes charging in to make his claim on MuLepton's territory. Areis doesn't appreciate this encroachment and retaliates. MuLepton, wherever he is, must be feeling rather special, as he's
treated to a display of his 2 closest rivals fighting over him...inside his very own base!
It doesn't take long for Areis' Priestess and a few of her supporting huntresses to fall in battle against Raxor's superior forces. Areis retreats the remaining huntresses as
Raxor follows closely behind before eventually giving up the chase. Perhaps he'd rather finish off what's left of MuLepton's deserted base? Could this be the end for the orange-clad green guys?
Nay! For reasons unknown, Raxor politely moves his troops back towards his own base, despite the fact that, should he strike, he could likely eliminate Areis, and could definitely eliminate MuLepton.
Nonetheless, Raxor heads home without capitalizing on his recent victories. MuLepton breahtes a sigh of relief.
Speaking of MuLepton...in the brief lull after losing his previous skirmish with Raxor, MuLepton was able to cut through the trees to his
forest-enclosed natural expansion, where he's set up base along with a meager defense force consisting of his revived Blademaster and Farseer and a few grunts.
Capitalizing on Raxor's bewildering retreat, MuLepton was able to
replace his fallen units and work up a modest defense squad. With his two heroes, a catapult, 4 grunts, and 2 more in the queue, he once again sets out to journey westward. And in yet another wicked twist of fate, he runs directly into
Raxor's military. I swear, there's been more blood shed in this little spot just outside MuLepton's base than there has at any other point on the map (although zkss5 and Tscully are close
runners-up with all their fighting going on in their neck of the woods). Anyhow, MuLepton makes a worthy effort at keeping
Raxor's forces at bay, but ultimately the Night Elves are just too strong for the defending orcs, and easily emerge victorious. During the fight, the 2 grunts that MuLepton
rallied to his Blademaster arrive, but are apparently unconcerned with their race's impending doom - they mindlessly follow the Blademaster wherever he goes, taking no action save for observing.
To make matters worse, Areis is also at it again...laying seige to MuLepton's base. After just losing his army to Raxor, and with no static defense (other than a couple burrows) to repel the attackers,
this may, once again, spell final defeat for MuLepton.
While all this is going on, Tscully and zkss5 are still battling it out up in the northeast corner area, and there finally appears to be an end in sight. Tscully has re-thought her strategy, and has shifted from a frost wyrm & ghoul military
to a frost wyrm/gargoyle/crypt fiend force...and it is slowly but surely starting to make a dent in zkss5's forces. zkss5 shifts his strategy as well, replacing most of his huntresses with Druids of the Claw and more Hippogryps/Chimeras. The battle is not yet over, however, as the DotC are bringing
much-needed rejuvination to zkss5's troops. However, the factor most notably responsible for eventually giving Tscully the advantage is her ability to lure the enemy forces forward, within range of her spirit towers. zkss5 tries multiple times to leapfrog
his ballista, under the protection of his army, into position to take the towers down. Sadly, each noble attempt fails as Tscully brings her forces forward to engage, effectively driving off the damaged ballista lest it be destroyed altogether.
Elsewhere, on the opposite corner of the map, spiderbaby is ready to make his move. Sorceresses and knights are rallied to the two wimpy heroes, and steam tanks are set in motion. Target: A_Flayer's base.
With steam tanks attacking the right side, and sorcs/knights/heroes attacking from the left, spiderbaby makes his move against A_Flayer.
Despite having only ghouls, spirit towers, and a couple heroes to defend with, A_Flayer successfully survives spiderbaby's attack. Early into the assault, spiderbaby's wimpy midget falls to a combination of
spirit tower fire and death coil. His pair of knights also fall to the piercing damage of the towers. A_Flayer concentrates on the tanks, which are cutting a swath through his base. Though they destroyed nearly all of A_Flayer's buildings,
the steam tanks are eventually destroyed, leaving cleanup duty to his heroes and ghouls, and rebuilding duty to his acolytes. A skirmish is fought between the undead forces and spiderbaby's Archmage-led sorceresses, in which a Book of the Dead A_Flayer used
to help slow the tanks' allowed him to balance out and make up for most of his ghouls being turned into lambchops.
spiderbaby sees the battle is over and retreats what's left of his troops. As he retreats, the sorcs are blocking the way of the Archmage, who is weak and desperately fleeing the wrath of the pursuing undead. He makes one last false move, allowing A_Flayer's Death Knight
to hurl another death coil, connecting and sending his ass to the grave. With only a mostly-destroyed altar, one tower, a sacrificial pit, a wounded graveyard, and a haunted gold mine left standing...A_Flayer certainly has some rebuilding to do.
KamikazeChicken, as always, has been busy as well. Despite it being 20+ minutes into the game, he still has yet to come across a single non-creep enemy unit. But it appears as if that's about to change. He's finally cleared the entire northwest quadrant of the map of creeps, and like a predator following the migration of it's prey, he
begins heading south in search of even MORE hero experience. Neither spiderbaby nor A_Flayer, who are now directly in his path, can stand up to KamikazeChicken's massive military.
Looking back over at MuLepton's main base, it's....well...deserted! Wtf?? Just moments ago he lost his entire army (except for his blademaster, whom he windwalked the hell out of harm's way) and had not one but TWO enemies bearing down on him. Yet he still has buildings remaining! MuLepton just WILL NOT die!
Apparently, after their last skirmish, Raxor decided to heal his troops back at the moon wells before continuing on to MuLepton's base. Meanwhile, Areis, who was busy razing the orc buildings, decided after taking down some burrows and the war mill that the deserted orange base was no
longer a threat, and is therefore a lower priority than the other remaining players on the map. The blue Night Elves abort their attack on MuLepton and begin heading westward.
BAM! Another CLASH of the TOTEM PEOPLE occurs when Raxor returns to finish the job he started moments ago...only to be intercepted by Areis' west-bound forces. Though Areis is notably stronger than last time these two armies met, Raxor has picked up
a new passenger in the meantime - a Priestess of the Moon - and is still commanding the superior attack squad. Areis does well to take out a couple huntresses and dryads, but Raxor's forces dominate the battle nonetheless. His demon-form Demon Hunter is kicking ass and taking names, prompting Areis to retreat.
Don't go away! We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor!
Ok we're back for the conclusion of CLASH of the TOTEM PEOPLE.
Last time we left Tscully, she was just starting to get an upper hand on zkss5. Let's go back and see what's going on...
Well, in the end there can be only one. Such is the case with free-for-all games, and this one is no exception. Despite a comfortable resource advantage and many well-fought battles and skirmishes, zkss5's forces have finally
fallen to Tscully's undead might. Shortly afterward, his main base is invaded by an airborne nightmare of winged death-bringers. Not that this necessarily means he's completely defeated... after all, A_Flayer survived a near-defeat attack, and
MuLepton has cheated death numerous times so far and is still in the game. However, Tscully has built up a burning hatred for the green Night Elf base and
doesn't appear to be easing up at all. zkss5 still might have a chance if his natural expansion goes unnoticed. (besides, doesn't he have some uber pair of pants or something like that? Perhaps he could use those to his advantage?)
Elsewhere, A_Flayer has been busy reconstructing his tech tree after spiderbaby sent 5 steam tanks through it. He's managed to pop out a couple meat wagons, which he sends northward to preempt spiderbaby's next attack. What a coincidence!
spiderbaby also chose this exact moment to send a pair of steam tanks along with some knights, sorcs, and heroes to impede A_Flayer's reconstruction efforts. The two tanks pass right by their meat wagon
counterparts on their way to the undead base, but spiderbaby's army takes import of the wagons and charges them, allowing the steam tanks to procede as planned. The two players' reactions are mirror images of each other - each has a pair of seige weapons, under attack by the defending army, firing on his base. A minute later, the seige weapons are destroyed, minimal damage is
done to the opposing base (spiderbaby's tanks managed to take down a single spirit tower before biting the dust. So much for their glorious March), and each players' non-seige military remains untouched.
A few moments pass while each player gets re-situated and replaces their previously destroyed seige weapons, when A_Flayer decides he's tired of being the punching bag. Rather, he takes the fight to spiderbaby's base this time.
The Death Knight, Dread Lord, and about 4 or 5 ghouls show up at spiderbaby's front door and immediately find themselves within range of his guard towers. The undead forces are also met by the newly revived Mountain King and Archmage, one knight, and 5 sorcs. A_Flayer's ghouls start turning into sheep when he realizes that his Tier1 military,
half of which now eat grass and the other half being fired upon by dual guard towers, isn't going to lead him to the victory he'd hoped for. Thus, A_Flayer retreats his units back to base. He goes back to work producing meat wagons while spiderbaby just put the finishing touches on a brand new building - a Gryphon Aviary.
Just what is KamikazeChicken doing while all this is going on? Where is he now? Glad you asked! KamikazeChicken has his sights set on MORE creeps (imagine that). Namely, his behemoth army is sitting RIGHT IN BETWEEN spiderbaby's expansion and A_Flayer's main base! Left or right, either way he goes
KamikazeChicken will crush whatever he sees, especially given the weakened state of the two southwest players who've been busy battling each other the whole time. Amazingly however, he instead opts to clear his way into the tree-enclosed natural expansion (using Force of Nature) and claim more creep experience and items for his 3 uber heroes. Neither A_Flayer nor spiderbaby
are aware of this powerhouse presence hardly even a screen away from their main bases!
Aye, but there IS one player who knows of KamikazeChicken's whereabouts. MuLepton has FINALLY got the chance to scout out the bottom left corner of the map using his windwalking Blademaster, who passes by the brown sentinel army while scouting spiderbaby's expansion. Satisfied he's seen enough, the Blademaster begins a northward journey to futher continue his scouting efforts.
And what of Raxor and Areis? Last we heard from them, Areis was retreating from Raxor after another skirmish over MuLepton's territory. Well, after running off the blue bad guys, Raxor decides to finish up a little creeping to the west before putting the final smackdown on his two
neighbors. While he was off doing that, Areis returns once again to finish destroying MuLepton's main base. Maybe THIS time that confounded Raxor won't interfere. Besides, an expansion at the former orc location would be a great contingency plan. The orc base, a true monument to miraculous survival, is finally brought down by the blue invaders. However,
Areis' homecoming reception gets crashed by Raxor, who's making a full-blown assault on Areis' base.
Meanwhile, that Blademaster MuLepton sent north to scout is about to play a major role in the overall sequence of events. With no creeps remaining on the entire western half of the map, KamikazeChicken has no choice but to move eastward, directly into either spiderbaby or A_Flayer. Better yet, since he's RIGHT outside their bases, he won't have to travel very far.
However...MuLepton pulls through for the pink and yellow teams. His Blademaster, lvl 2 or 3, and all by himself, goes running into KamikazeChicken's main base. Seeing an orange hero enter his area on the minimap, KamikazeChicken immediately teleports back home to defend, sparing A_Flayer and spiderbaby from a good 'ol fashioned ass kicking.
All 3 Night Elf heroes, druids of the claw, druids of the talon, dryads, and a chimera all warp back to base to defend against the non-onslaught of the scouting Blademaster. Needless to say, the Blademaster soon falls. Farewell, dear Akinos. Your sacrifice is appreciated. :)
In other news, Tscully is just not letting up on zkss5. She's found his expansion and has shifted her efforts to destroying it before finishing off his main base. It's definitely not looking good for our beloved forum admin. Amid the chaos of razing zkss5's buildings, Tscully sends some acolytes up north to finally erect an expansion. After all, she's not going to have to
worry about zkss5's constant harassment now.
And now, back to Raxor vs Areis. Were it not for the frequently-replenishing moon wells, Areis would've likely fallen to Raxor's troops. As it were, however, those moon wells were effective in
helping Areis ward off the invaders, even despite the determined Rock Golem Raxor brought with him into combat. Congratulations Areis, you were finally able to stand up to the Southeast Bully. :)
Not to be counted out, Raxor decides he's going to put up an expansion at MuLepton's former base. Since he knows Areis hasn't expanded to the north, this will go a long way to containing and defeating the annoying blue elves. BUT WAIT, WHAT'S THIS!?!?!? Look at what Raxor sees when he checks back
on how his budding expansion is coming along....
Yup that's right, both Areis AND Raxor are attemtping to expand to the same mine at precisely the same time! Raxor, despite in need of an expansion for himself, cancels his buildings and retreats, not wanting to risk losing his wisps should Areis come down to attack. Rather, he'll just wait it out until his enemy's
Tree of Life finishes, then spring his attack on the undefended expansion.
Ok, time to check back in with spiderbaby and A_Flayer. Since thier last skirmish, A_Flayer has produced a few more meat wagons that, this time, he'll send at spiderbaby
from the side, intending to distract him. At the same time, spiderbaby has added a pair of gryphons to round out his squad of heroes, sorcs, and a knight. He's also resolved to put A_Flayer down for good with one last tank push, and has therefore
formed a group of 6 ready-to-roll seige machines.
A_Flayer is the first to attack, having sent 3 meat wagons to the right side of spiderbaby's base. They destroy an under-construction farm and then begin
firing at a guard tower before spiderbaby responds by sending a couple gryphons over to eliminate the nuisance. The unprotected wagons fall, and it's now spiderbaby's turn to attack. Steam tanks are put in motion and are on a journey to take out
A_Flayer once and for all.
Wait, WTF???
This is what spiderbaby sees when he arrives at A_Flayer's base! It's like a ghost town - all the buildings that were here just minutes ago are gone. But the real kicker is that A_Flayer
hadn't been attacked by anyone! Rather, he unsummoned all of his buildings and sent his acolytes out to set up expansions. Apparently he was either hurting for cash, or was tired of dealing with spiderbaby's shit so he packed up and decided to move his base to a new location. Regardless,
spiderbaby's tanks are marching, and there's going to be some changes taking place...
When the tanks arrive in A_Flayer's ghosttown, they begin an eastbound journey in search of new targets. They take down a still-constructing haunted mine A_Flayer started up just east of spiderbaby's main base.
Their next stop hits paydirt. A whole cluster of gray Night Elf buildings comes into view. Raxor, at that moment, was finishing up a battle with Areis over the expansion site Areis just set up. Despite eliminating the blue army, Raxor himself lost ALL of his units except for his two heroes, which were now the only
mobile defense force he had available to run back home with and attempt to repel spiderbaby's attack. While the tanks continue to drop buildings like flies, Raxor's heroes engage spiderbaby's forces. Though he nearly succeeded in vanquishing the yellow Archmage, the horse-mounted hero was able to flee his wrath, and shortly afterward a few gryphon hammers and a couple
stormbolts later both of Raxor's heroes are dead, leaving no remaining defense. Seconds later, the last of Raxor's buildings are destroyed, and he is officially defeated.
SIDE NOTE: Shortly before spiderbaby's tanks arrive at Raxor's base, Tscully puts the final nail in zkss5's coffin. zkss5 is the first to be officially defeated. Raxor is the second.
Anyhow, with Raxor out of the picture, spiderbaby continues toward the east in search of more bases to destroy. He heads towards the corner, where MuLepton's base used to be....only to find Areis' coveted expansion. Just having lost all military units to Raxor's assault, the Priestes of the Moon is the only available resistance. However, not only does the Priestess arrive late,
after the Tree of Life has already been destroyed, but she's hit from behind by spiderbaby's attack force and Stormbolted into oblivion.
Seconds later, 6 steam tanks, 2 gryphons, 2 heroes, 1 knight, and 7 sorcs are rampaging through Areis' base. Moments later, all that remains is an empty plot of land. Areis is officially defeated.
Right about this time, spiderbaby's main gold mine collapses, so he sends his 5 idle peasants to set up an expansion at the most popular spot on the map: MuLepton's former main base.
spiderbaby continues north up the right side of the map and runs into another haunted gold mine attempt by A_Flayer. The mine apparatus is destroyed and the nearby acolyte is slaughtered.
Now what? spiderbaby just cleared the entire bottom half of the map of any enemy bases, right? WRONG! MuLepton, ecstatic that he's outlived the two players that have been bullying him around all game, is still in the running. He's given up on the short-lived Blademaster and Farseer, and rather than reviving them, decides he's going to make his comeback
with an all-cow military. He's got a brand new level 1 Chieftan leading a squad of about 7 or 8 tauren warriors. Unfortunately for MuLepton however, the peasants spiderbaby sent to build the lower right expansion base happen to walk RIGHT through the new orc settlement on their way, effectively revealing to spiderbaby it's
location. Predictably, the yellow army shows up at MuLepton's base and starts to tear it down. Could this be the end for the orange orcs, who have miraculously survived numerous near-death attacks? MuLepton sends
his cow army back home, crosses his fingers, shuts his eyes, and hopes for another miracle.
You're right, KamikazeChicken, I got so caught up in detailing the MARCH of the TANKS that I forgot to mention the other significant stuff going on. After all, it's not as if you and Tscully have just been sitting on your laurels. When the tanks began marching, I said there would be some changes taking place. 3 players have now been eliminated and there's another two
on the verge. (A_Flayer and MuLepton)
Wait, did I say '2' more on the verge? Perhaps I should've said 3 more...
This is what we in the I.T. world refer to as BOHICA, which is an acronym for "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again". Such is the situation for poor spiderbaby - he's getting raped by Tscully and her swarm of frost wyrms and gargoyles. His entire military is on the opposite side of the map, assaulting
MuLepton, and would never make it back in time to fend off the opportunistic attackers. Rather, with a roving military and a sqad of base-destruction-on-wheels, he opts to continue his assault on MuLepton and deal with Tscully later.
As if Tscully ravaging through his base weren't enough, A_Flayer, who is SOMEHOW still in the game, joins in to mooch some building kills from Tscully! It must feel refreshingly justifying for A_Flayer, who now gets to assist in taking down his game-long rival. Karma at work if I've ever seen it.
And who the fuck brought SEIGE TANKS? Talk about adding insult to injury. :(
Ok Ok Ok, don't get so uptight. I mean, it's over a half hour into the game and the only non-creep unit you've killed was MuLepton's Blademaster. It's about time you stepped into the spotlight. :)
Anyhow, spiderbaby is tearing through MuLepton's base like a hot knife through butter. Even the squad of tauren that came to defend are mostly either dead or walking on all fours and eating grass.
Things are looking grim for MuLepton. He closes his eyes, not wanting to see his final building going up in flames....when (it's a bird! it's a plane! No, it really is a bird!) KamikazeChicken comes from nowhere to the rescue!!
He flanks spiderbaby's forces from behind, focusing first on the steam tanks, then shifting to his actual military. spiderbaby attempts at micro'ing his backward-formation army are pitiful at best, polymorphing a DotC and a Chimera before barely getting an opportunity to run what is now his sole surviving non-tank unit, Peril Spellbinder the Archmage, northeast away from KamikazeChicken's powerhouse heroes. As for the tanks, he was also able to bail 3 of them from KamikazeChicken's wrath,
and has sent them northeast as well.
For MuLepton, this truly is a miracle. With only a couple workers, a damaged burrow and a war mill remaining, he's still in the game! Even better - when spiderbaby yelped like a little girl and fled north, KamikazeChicken followed him! It truly is
amazing - MuLepton has survived crippling attacks from Raxor, Areis, AND spiderbaby...and narrowly avoids annihilation at the hands (or maybe I should say wings) of a domineering suicidal poultry!
Poor spiderbaby. He was kicking ass, having just eliminated 2 players back-to-back and was working on two more, and in just a matter of, literally, one minute, he's down to almost nothing. He didn't get doubleteamed...he got TRIPLEteamed. </self-pity>
However, spiderbaby is not out yet, and still has a desperation move up his sleeve. He works his tanks up the right side of the map, hoping to find the home of one of his assailants. After checking zkss5's abandoned site, he succeeds in
finding Tscully's base. And the plan works. Tscully aborts her attack on spiderbaby's main so that she can TP back home to defend against 3 severely damaged steam tanks. Back at his main, only 2 farms, a gryphon aviary, and an arcane sanctum remain. Apparently A_Flayer eventually withdrew from spiderbaby's base before
Tscully could notice his presence, so he's not around to destroy these remaining structures.
He is, however, still on the move...and so is someone else...
spiderbaby is able to drive off the troublesome Blademaster, but doesn't have the same level of success defending against
A_Flayer's attack. That expansion is brought down and all peasants were slaughtered.
A couple things to note in the image above. First, KamikazeChicken can be seen killing even MORE creeps just above
the bottom right corner location. Moments beforehand, he sent spiderbaby's Archmage to an early grave at that particular spot on the map, so since
he was in the area, he might as well level his behemoth heroes even more. Right?
Also, above that we can see where MuLepton has set up shop. He's constructed a great hall at the unused expansion spot just north of where Areis used to be. I tell ya, he deserves an award for sheer determination. :)
At this point, KamikazeChicken and Tscully are the only real military powers on the map. A_Flayer is just running around doing hit-and-run attacks where he deems safe for his tiny, yet seemingly immortal, attack squad. MuLepton is just trying to hold on for dear life, and
spiderbaby isn't far behind him in that respect.
Say it isn't so.... :(
For all his resilience and determination, fate simply can't smile upon
MuLepton forever. After eliminating the aforementioned creeps, KamikazeChicken returned to finish what spiderbaby started
at MuLepton's 'main' base. At the same time, A_Flayer makes his way north after demolishing spiderbaby's bottom-right expansion. Amazingly, the two armies run RIGHT BY each other without consequence.
Anyhow, KamikazeChicken makes short work of the remains of the former orc base, while A_Flayer moves into position to deliver the killing blow.
R.I.P. MuLepton 00:00:00 - 00:47:22
Well, at least MuLepton can take heart knowing that while his final building was being destroyed, KamikazeChicken was razing a haunted mine A_Flayer put up at an unused expansion just south of map center. Unfortunately however, it's not enough, as A_Flayer is still, somehow, in the game.
Now it's down to 4 players.
2 players on the bottom half of the map - spiderbaby, who is desperately trying to rebuild at his last remaining expansion in the lower left corner, and A_Flayer, who is in the game with only a single haunted gold mine remaining, as well as his 2 heroes and 4 ghouls.
2 players on the top half (which constitute the only real military powers remaining) - KamikazeChicken, who is steamrolling everything and everyone in his path with his THREE level 7 heroes, and Tscully, who is enjoying parading her frost wyrms and lvl 8 Death Knight around the map, seemingly uninterested in anything but eliminating spiderbaby.
You'd figure that, with the other players posing no real threat, the two superpowers would focus on eliminating each other and securing their win...
Such is not the case, however. spiderbaby seems to be public enemy #1 right now, as both Tscully and KamikazeChicken have made their way down to his desperate attempt at a base. spiderbaby was able to get a couple more
sorcs and gryphons out of their respective buildings that composed the remains of his original main base, but was forced to halt further production when KamikazeChicken arrived to finish razing his base. Combined with the small number of troops he was able to crank out at his new main, will it be enough to repel a combined attack by
Tscully and KamikazeChicken?
Hell no, but it doesn't matter anyway. Upon seeing the other just outside spiderbaby's base, both of them retreat, apparently not prepared for an all-out battle with each other. KamikazeChicken likely would've returned were it not for A_Flayer picking a fight with one of his expansions.
Tscully, however, didn't run very far. Rather, she almost immediately returns to assault spiderbaby's base. Now it's his turn to cross his fingers and hope for a miracle.
Well actually, he takes a slightly more proactive approach than that. Though vastly outgunned, he sacrifices his sorcs to polymorph most, if not all, of the frost wyrms into flying cattle. His gryphon and Mountain King put up a desperate fight, dancing behind guard towers in the hope of doing as much damage as he can to his assailants. When the gryphon falls, spiderbaby runs his mighty midget the hell out of there. Only a miracle
could save him now, as there is nothing left at his base to defend with other than a few wounded towers.
And he gets just that.
spiderbaby gets a little last-second help from the most unlikely of allies - his old rival A_Flayer, who after being shoo'ed away by KamikazeChicken decided to pick on Tscully a little. With that, Tscullyagain aborts her attack on spiderbaby and head back home to
take care of another petty distraction. She chases A_Flayer all the way across the map, even into one of KamikazeChicken's expansions. A scuffle breaks out and Tscully shifts her attention to the helpless Tree of Life, while A_Flayer makes a short retreat to the east. Moments later he returns, and unfortunately for him, Tscully hasn't
gone anywhere. She gives chase, hoping to finally put a stop to the most globally annoying player on the map.
However...KamikazeChicken decides Tscully has lived long enough.
That's right, you're seeing starfall AND tranquility being used against poor Tscully. While she was busy with A_Flayer,
KamikazeChicken shows up at her main base and starts kicking the ever-loving crap out of it. Bears, Talons, Chimeras, Hippos, archers...you name it. The thunder has been called down upon Tscully! Her main base is destroyed in the blink of an eye. She is, however, able to make it back in time to attempt to defend her
last bastion of hope - her expansion. She makes a worthy, yet futile, effort to defend, eventually running her death knight away with about 70 or so HP remaining. With Starfall and Tranquility going at once, the defending gargoyles and frost wyrms are wholeheartedly raped, leaving minimal cleanup duty for the rest of KamikazeChicken's army.
Just before she's eliminated, Tscully sends her Death Knight at KamikazeChicken's main base. However, the hero hardly gets 3 swings of his sword before he's ganked by an array of Ancient Protectors. It's interesting how easily KamikazeChicken utterly annihilated his strongest remaining opponent. If Tscully couldn't stand against the brown Night Elves, no one else can either.
Tscully is officially defeated.
But spiderbaby and A_Flayer are still in it.
A_Flayer lost one of his ghouls during the attack on Tscully's base, which leaves him with 2 heroes and 3 ghouls to roam the countryside with.
Meanwhile, spiderbaby has used the brief period of peace at his base to resurrect his heroes, train a small band of sorcs and gryphons, and send peasants to construct expansions at various points on the map. At the very least, he's going to eliminate that pestilent A_Flayer before he's eliminated himself.
He sets out with his new attack squad - the strongest military he's had since before he was ambushed back at MuLepton's base - to find either of his remaining foes and bring some pain (and polymorph) to them.
And apparently, spiderbaby left just in time.
Scouring the map for expansions, KamikazeChicken came across the final remaining building belonging to A_Flayer. An entire army vs a solitary, undefended haunted gold mine = no more A_Flayer.
Now the only two players on the map are spiderbaby and KamikazeChicken, which means each player only has one other person to attack.
KamikazeChicken is the first to go on the offensive, attacking spiderbaby just moments after eliminating A_Flayer.
And it doesn't stop there. He continues to hunt down spiderbaby wherever he goes, leveling buildings in mere seconds and butchering the peasants who built them.
spiderbaby has a lot of resources remaining, however, and a lot of workers to scatter buildings across the map. Playing the pansy hide-the-farm game, he's buying himself time to make a final stand against KamikazeChicken.
That said, spiderbaby does indeed make a final stand against the powerhouse sentinel army...
And the result brings no surprises. In a bold move, spiderbaby brought the fight to KamikazeChicken's main base.
However, he didn't get much accomplished before the Night Elves TP back home and give chase to the human infidels. Knowing he has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, spiderbaby turns
and makes his stand. Starfall is soon cast, which is rightly countered by a swift Stormbolt to the Priestess' face. A couple chimeras turn into flying sheep before the entire sorceress line is annihilated by the UBER demon hunter and some pissed-off bears. Then the rest of spiderbaby's forces start
hitting the ground in a pool of blood. It's not a pretty sight.
Now, the remaining 8 minutes of the game can be summed up by the phrase 'hide-the-farm', which keeps spiderbaby alive longer, but grasping false hopes of a comeback. Eventually he realizes this and ends the n00bishness, conceding a well-played game to KamikazeChicken.
Besides, even if spiderbaby had all his buildings and units remaining...
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spiderbaby sends an invisible footman to scout A_Flayer's base. However, he's struck down by spirit towers mere moments after entering the Undead
encampment. He notices 2 or 3 spirit towers and a sacrificial pit before the vision fades out. Either A_Flayer was smart to leave a shade in his base to detect hidden scouts, or he n00bishly forgot
the shade was there, ready to be sent out to scout the map. Either way, it paid off for him this time. Anyhow, this prompts spiderbaby to begin construction of a workshop, as well as a 2nd
arcane temple. It's also time to resume creeping.
The Night Elf forces are still rampaging, uncontested, through the orcish settlement when, lo and behold, Raxor comes charging in to make his claim on MuLepton's territory. Areis doesn't appreciate this encroachment and retaliates. MuLepton, wherever he is, must be feeling rather special, as he's
treated to a display of his 2 closest rivals fighting over him...inside his very own base!
Elsewhere, A_Flayer has been busy reconstructing his tech tree after spiderbaby sent 5 steam tanks through it. He's managed to pop out a couple meat wagons, which he sends northward to preempt spiderbaby's next attack. What a coincidence!
spiderbaby also chose this exact moment to send a pair of steam tanks along with some knights, sorcs, and heroes to impede A_Flayer's reconstruction efforts. The two tanks pass right by their meat wagon
counterparts on their way to the undead base, but spiderbaby's army takes import of the wagons and charges them, allowing the steam tanks to procede as planned. The two players' reactions are mirror images of each other - each has a pair of seige weapons, under attack by the defending army, firing on his base. A minute later, the seige weapons are destroyed, minimal damage is
done to the opposing base (spiderbaby's tanks managed to take down a single spirit tower before biting the dust. So much for their glorious March), and each players' non-seige military remains untouched.
And what of Raxor and Areis? Last we heard from them, Areis was retreating from Raxor after another skirmish over MuLepton's territory. Well, after running off the blue bad guys, Raxor decides to finish up a little creeping to the west before putting the final smackdown on his two
neighbors. While he was off doing that, Areis returns once again to finish destroying MuLepton's main base. Maybe THIS time that confounded Raxor won't interfere. Besides, an expansion at the former orc location would be a great contingency plan. The orc base, a true monument to miraculous survival, is finally brought down by the blue invaders. However,
Areis' homecoming reception gets crashed by Raxor, who's making a full-blown assault on Areis' base.
Ok Ok Ok, don't get so uptight. I mean, it's over a half hour into the game and the only non-creep unit you've killed was MuLepton's Blademaster. It's about time you stepped into the spotlight. :)
For all his resilience and determination, fate simply can't smile upon
MuLepton forever. After eliminating the aforementioned creeps, KamikazeChicken returned to finish what spiderbaby started
at MuLepton's 'main' base. At the same time, A_Flayer makes his way north after demolishing spiderbaby's bottom-right expansion. Amazingly, the two armies run RIGHT BY each other without consequence.
Anyhow, KamikazeChicken makes short work of the remains of the former orc base, while A_Flayer moves into position to deliver the killing blow.
Such is not the case, however. spiderbaby seems to be public enemy #1 right now, as both Tscully and KamikazeChicken have made their way down to his desperate attempt at a base. spiderbaby was able to get a couple more
sorcs and gryphons out of their respective buildings that composed the remains of his original main base, but was forced to halt further production when KamikazeChicken arrived to finish razing his base. Combined with the small number of troops he was able to crank out at his new main, will it be enough to repel a combined attack by
Tscully and KamikazeChicken?
And the result brings no surprises. In a bold move, spiderbaby brought the fight to KamikazeChicken's main base.
However, he didn't get much accomplished before the Night Elves TP back home and give chase to the human infidels. Knowing he has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, spiderbaby turns
and makes his stand. Starfall is soon cast, which is rightly countered by a swift Stormbolt to the Priestess' face. A couple chimeras turn into flying sheep before the entire sorceress line is annihilated by the UBER demon hunter and some pissed-off bears. Then the rest of spiderbaby's forces start
hitting the ground in a pool of blood. It's not a pretty sight.
