"Always trying to improve, but still sucking"
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| Oh What a Calanity | | | Author: | | | IP: | 1Cust48.XXXX | | Date: | 11/12/02 05:11 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 8, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for mick: 7.8627 |   |
Oh What a Calanity
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Oh What a Calanity
Now don't laugh at this, it's my first attempt at a SERIOUS Battle Report.
Just the other day I saw a man walking his dog, I paid little attention to it and walked off. Hey, you ever look for a game and see those "2v2, you vs our clan, omg you will lose so bad that you probably shouldn't join, that way you won't be embarassed and we can brag that noone will join our games coz we own so hard" games? Not only do I not be intimidated by them all the time, I occasionally get up the guts to join them sometimes! You know when you join they are like, 'HAH! this newbie has a low record and will be owned hardly to the core, by us.' Meanwhile you wait for your pubbie partner(s) to join, hoping they know the difference between a Tiberium Harvester and a BattleCruiser.
Well sorting through my 314 replays of games vs clans, I found 3(count em 3) where those mean ol' clans get a taste of their own recipe!
Clan EUX - I don't know what EUX stands for, but I'm sure they just go by the general beliefs of today's society, you know. I joined their public 2v2 game and said hi to EUX-Nebula and EUX-Leader, all I got in return was a mere "hi" from each of them, I mean how rude. After a short time, the bloodthirsty KillerInstict joined us. Our foursome, filled to the ankles with adrenaline, watched as the timer hit 1!!!! then 0.
Out of the 4 players, 3 chose to be Protoss and 1 chose Zerg. Let me tell you, if this was race wars, hey hey. But is wasn't so nevermind. Eux-Nebula, the lone Zerg began at nine, sending his Ovie to KillerInstinct who was not only Toss at 6, but was also allied to ME, the sexy, charismatic 3 Tosserwho sent a probe to scout 12, the starting position of the third Toss player, Eux-Leader.
Speaking of that Probe, after 24 seconds of scouting the 12 base his AMD-k6 450mhz processor came to the conclusion that it was inhabited by hostile Protoss forces. He waltzed around a bit more before going down the ramp out out of the base, but rather than return to base, he planted a Pylon in the 12 Natural, interesting... A few seconds later, Eux-Leader suspiciously brang a Probe to the same spot.
Just as my pylon finished, I placed a Gateway to the left of it, Eux-Leader reacts by matching the speed of my Gateway with one of his own above his Geyser along with a forge at his ramp.
And then, 2 Reavers pop out of the Shuttle and kill all his Nexuses and Observatories! I mean, I warp a Shield Battery inside his base and it comes online in time for my first Zealot's arrival. A purple Zealot arrives on the scene almost simutaneously and what follows is a micro intensive Zealot battle worthy of the Protoss masters Boxer and Yellow themselves!
Eux-Leader plops 2 Cannons at his ramp, a Zealot and Probe of mine take on the awesome might of the blue flashing temporal distortions with unsuprising results. The number of my Zealots inside Eux-Leader's base increases steadily, while help comes in the form of 6 of Eux-Nebula's Zerglings. The rabid Lings down my Natural Gateway to 100ish hit points before heading up the ramp into some extremely hostile Cannon/Zeal/Probe defense of mine.
With the destruction of Eux-Leader's Nexus, he takes leave giving us plenty of time to think over our follow-up strats, 45 seconds infact.
I decided well since I have 400 Minerals and the ground has already been cleared, why not warp in a 12 main Nexus. I then focussed on macro, my ally and opponent each in their own worlds did stuff too, not much though.
When KillerInstinct found the mouse cursor that previously went lost in the array of flashy colours, he selected his amassed Zealot/Goon attack group and sent them down the 6 ramp into the big bad world. No doubt used to back door tactics, he sends the group down the small gulley between the 6 & 9 mains, hiding in the trees until enemy unit's would wander into the magical forest of DEATH!!
With some visual help from myself, KillerInstinct manages to direct his attackers up through the maze of nothingness surrounding the 9 main. We both stop just inside the 9 ramp all set for an attack in unisen. I move in along with a few of KillerInstinct's units. As the moderate Zerg defense holds the ground, I recieve a message from my ally - "AFK". It seems my ally has some brown units of his own to deal with T_T.
With the sad loss of my partner, it was all up to me to take this Zerg down to the dry-cleaners. Templars with storm and Zealots from 6 Gateways kept up some pressure, wearing Eux-Nebula down bit by bit. Lurkers made themselves available, not to worry though since Observers were already on the way. Storm/Obs gave the Lurkers a hard time finding a usefull spot to burrow.
Eux-Nebula attempts to take out my 3 main base with Guardians, but without a Spire or Queens Nest, the plan fizzles. The writing was on the table. As my ground troops move in for the final attack, Eux-Nebula allies me in hopes of a peace treaty. Psionic Storms blanket his base and realising I wasn't about to ally, he goes the way of the warrior! - another 45 seconds later we win.
Sitting in the channel playin "I-spy" can get a little tedious after 3 hours. It was my final go when I came up with a good one- "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with J"
"Jury Duty?" - "no"
"Jason Priestly poster?" - "yea.. NO!"
"Oh oh oh, Join Game Button!" - "Yesssss"
By complete coincidence, celix and I both ended up in the same 3v3, with a third pubbie and 3 blokes from clan chap. Well understandably, the 3 chaps chose to partner eachother while celix and I were stuck partnered with FWK_ENTITY.
Once the 2 teams had allied themselves, FWK_ENTITY sent his scouting Overlord to the right towards Dew[chap]man revealing the lone enemy Zerg. Having gone 9 Pool with not a clue of what kind of build to do, I(randompubbie) sent 3 Drones to Dew[chap]man's base. The 3 drones reached the creep and morphed simutaneously into Creep Colonies, Dew[chap]man had placed 2 of his own down, slightly earlier than mine. Dew[chap]man pulls half of his Drones of minerals to attack the now Sunken-morphing Colonies. My Colonies were all in range of Dew[chap]man's Hatchery, Pool and 1 Sunken, his other Sunken had just my lowest(Sunken) in range. Upon morphing, all Sunkens let loose, attacking anything that moved, or that didn't move - throw in a few Zerglings from both sides and you have a lethally localised cocktail of blood, creep, & that green stuff from the Spawning Pool. Dew[chap]man's front Sunken was slaughtered 3:1, while his rear Sunken had a 4-5 attack advantage on my lower Sunken, killing it with significant hit points to spare. A few of my left over Lings attacked the rear Sunken, but died just before killing it. What of Dew[chap]man's allies? Oh they helped, sending a pair of Marines at my Sunkens - meanwhile my ally joins in the Zerg on Zerg fun, half a dozen of FWK_ENTITY's lings finish of the last of Dew[chap]man's structures. FWK_ENTITY, like a Speed addicted Coke junkie, fed his lust for proverbial Heroin by blatantly attacking and killing my 2 remaining Sunkens.
No sooner had the first chap been eliminated that Celix had 8 uncontested Marines attacking thier way though to the Mineral line of michael[chap]m's base. With no Units available, michael[chap]m left the game.
With momentum on our side, we prepped for an attack on the cornered Ryouko[chap]ryo.
The 2 sides initially met in a small skirmish on the outskirts of Ryouko[chap]ryo's base. Marines were the first to attack and for some odd reason, Zerglings seemed to take out Marines on both sides.
Ryouko[chap]ryo's central Bunker defense was crushed and other buildings followed 1 by 1.
Ryouko[chap]ryo lifted all lift-offable buildings to endure a slower death from a few Marines, giving us time to chat with the chap.
The third and final chap left the game but it was not over just yet... 2 dozen of my Zerglings headed north to FWK_ENTITY's base and the alliance button was unchecked... that'll learn him not to steal my tomaters!
*RING RING* "Hello.."
"Rodney listen carefully, I need you to call MI6 and tell them..." *BEEP.. BEEP.. BEEP..*
"I hate when he calls this late. Oooh, that game looks fun..."
Rodney_Bond's record: 0-0-0
FOK-GWMachine and FOK-WiThErEd snicker to themselves as the automated text travels up the screen. His random ally [NoThx]boxx mentally prepares for what could possibly be the most intense TZvPP game he plays this hour.
 
There is little early-game chatter, Rodney chooses to early expand to the 9 Natural while boxx goes for low tech macro of Marines. Thier Protoss opponents both going with double Gateway builds, obviously selecting to Carrier rush.
When Zealot numbers reach roughly 6 each, the FOKs move out and head towards Rodney's Natural Expo. A few Lings en route to FOK-GWMachine's base, encounter the stampeding Zealots. All players now know that an attack on Rodney's Natural is iminent. The dozen Zealots' awesome strength overwhelms the Zerg defense. 3 Sunkens and a many Lings are just too weak. Just when the Zealots move further in, picking on a single Drone, boxx's Marines arrive to save the day. The Zealots, possibly distracted by thier reflections in the Creep, are 1 by 1 picked off by Marines and Zerglings. What few can retreat, do.
Just when Rodney puts forward the question of a counter attack, up the 12 ramp stroll 6 Zealots. boxx uses all available units to fend off the attack. SCVs/Marines and awkwardly late Lings banish the Zealots.
During some quiet time, Rodney finally gets round to morphing that Spire, boxx adds an Academy, FOK-WiThErEd a Stargate and FOK-GWMachine, Templar Tech.
FOK-GWMachine attempts at a stealthy mcstealth attack on boxx. Several Dark Templar climb the 12 ramp, as FOK-WiThErEd attacks Rodney's sentry Overlord. 1 Second passes between the Overlord's death and a Turrets completion just inside the ramp, sorry guys.
The Constant harrassment pushes boxx too far. He marches roughly 30 M&M around the cliffs to FOK-WiThErEd's 9 ramp.
The 1/1 M&M stim up and head into the Toss base and FOK-WiThErEd orders his Zealots to defend and stall while Cannons have time to warp. After dispatching the Zealots with suprisingly few casualties, the M&M group pushes further into the base...
In the middle of the map, Rodney's Muta-Ling heading towards 3 main have a run in with FOK-GWMachine's Zealots which are heading towards the 12 main. Several Zealots chase the Lings back to the 9 Natural but disengage after spotting 5 Sunkens, not to mention the Mutalisks - the 2 players once again go thier separate ways.
Back to the 3 main, the arrival Rodney's Muta-Ling instigates an all out attack on the lower half of the Protoss base, and the 4 menacing Cannons defending it. The attack goes peachy, but Rodney panics and pulls his Mutalisks free, sending them as quickly as possible to the 12 main.
Inside boxx's base, all hell has broken loose. FOK-GWMachine's Zealots that Rodney had neglected to follow up on have gained entry into the 12 main and are now running rampant. boxx tries hard to defend with what he has, SCVs and a few Marines, but the Zealots are just too many. Finally Rodney's Mutas arrive to finish what they started earlier. The only problem now? DT's still in the Terran base with no detection and a comsat at only 17 energy. A single Turret and Overlord arrive at the same time, flushing out the last DT. boxx takes the little bit of quiet time to Utilise his Natural expansion with a pre-built CC and stock up on Infantry. Rodney's Mutas return to the 3 main, where DTs had previously taken out the remainder of boxx's M&M. The Mutas position themselves to attack the Nexus, at the same time dodging Cannons just above it.
One Nexus is not enough for these Mutas, they head towards FOK-GWMachine's base, finding a working expansion at the 6 Natural. The expansion is swallowed by the Mutas who suffer little more than a few bruises. As is the way with many attacks, the Mutas move further in, attacking anything hostile they can find. Potentially dangerous Templars and an Archon are discovered, but still in infant stages are about as harmful as a Frenchman.
FOK-GWMachine gathers all non-muta attacking troops and sends them towards Rodney's natural expo. This time 5 Sunkens still aren't quite enough to stop the mediocre Protoss attack, so Mutalisks are dispatched....MUTAS.
With nothing to do, FOK-GWMachine surrenders.
Blink and you would miss the reengaging of boxx's new M&M force as they visciously attack the 4 Cannons holding tight atop the 3 main. With all hostility out of the way, the M&M continue to mop up the few Protoss structures.
Hiding below the 6 Natural, FOK-WiThErEd congratulates his opponents on a good game and unbashfully asks for an ally. Denied his request, FOK-WiThErEd leaves.
................ ............
"Rodneeyyy..RODNEY!"
"Huh hmm wha? Oh it's you James. Hey, last night I won this nice 2v2 against 2 clan guys, it was pretty close at times. So how was your trip to Kazhakstan?"
"Well, from the moment I got off the plane I was being tracked by KGB, NKIA & BBC agents. I dodged 4 Snipers in the Hotel across from mine, made love with 7 women - in 2 sessions, assassinated 13 ex-Military Coup Extremists, blew up a Chemical Weapons plant, stole 3 Nuclear Warheads and snuck out of the country aboard a Stealth Submarine."
"Nice, so score for both of us =]"
-Ende-
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