S'up y'all :)
Welcome to my latest report.
A wise man once said that the hardest part about reporting is finding a worthy game. Indeed this man was very wise, as I have spent countless hours frolicking around ~nh and x17 to find a good game. After being banned by a few, and witnessing truly bizarre(Try Grobyc wanting you to BR him dancing like a monkey on crack :() scenes in ~NH, I thought it was all gonna end up in total crap.
Enter Dialtone_ and Status28, stage right.
If you don't know these two Greek guys, you're probably a retard. Dialtone_ has posted around 15 Br's on this very site, most of them featuring Status28, a very capable Starcraft player. Despite them hailing from the great nation of Greece, they are both pretty cool, and I decided to obs some of Status' games in hopes of finding a good game to Br.
And its with this in mind that I present to you a 2 game LinG report, both featuring Status, facing a well known celebrity, and a gosu east player.
Hope you enjoy ;)

ADQ3:
Well, where do I start? This all-toss user was cofounder of br.com and is still active. He wrote more reports than most of you will ever meet women, and the majority of them pretty damn awesome.
As far as his gaming skills go, I suspect he might be a bit rusty, but will surely deliver a bitchin' good performance.

Status~28~:
Currently playing with the account "Greasybox", he is very active and can be found lurking around ~nohunters asking for 1on1's, usually paired with his obsing buddy Dialtone. As you might know, Dial has made quite a few reports, and most of them starring Status. He plays random, and has a very good game, we'll see if he can trumph the living legend.
Interesting fact #1 about Status: "He has three testicles" -Dialtone

Igor! Hit the switch!

While ADQ3 opted for the more usual build of 8 pylon, 11 gate followed by a pylon, gas and cycore, Status made his first pylon on 8, his second on 10 and a gateway straight afterwards. I really don't know if either one of them is better but at first glance it would look to me as Status may got an earlier gate and pylon, but also a substantial lower probe count in the beginning. He knew his opponent was protoss, so maybe this was his special tossrushing build. He later added a cycore and gas, without a second gateway.

Both player found each other relatively quick, and ADQ3 answered Status' build by adding his second gateway and starting the production of zeelits.
ADQ3 was gathering a small strike force of two zealots and three goons, heading straight for Status' base at southeast. Meanwhile, Status made a cool hidden tech just north of the rest of his buildings, placing a citadel of Adun and later a Templar archives. Sooooo leet :)
Back to the action, ADQ3 smashed through the few guarding zealots at the bridge in front of Status'base, chasing the wussy zealots inside the base where they were joined by a goon, a micro heavy skirmish ensued, with plenty of goon dance afoot(haha) on ADQ3's behalf. Reinforcements arrived from ADQ3's base, just in time to get hacked to pieces by Status' newly purchased dark templars :)

ADQ3 was shaken, but not stirred (err, how come that sound so lame when I say it?) and recovered his lost probes quickly, while warping in two new gateways.
Status wasn't slacking at all, even though he had the clear advantage by now. The sexy Greek was expanding at the northeast main, while he, like ADQ3 got his 1+ attack upgrade.

Next offensive move came from the Greek god of laming/gaming, Mr. Status. He had quite a goon army, around an entire control group, and he wasn't afraid to use them. Upon his march towards the evil protoss' main, our hero got caught up in "some" trouble. ADQ3 had chosen the exact same time to move out, and had a well-balanced force of zealots and dragoons. I'd say that Status' army had been more costly than ADQ3's, but his pure goon was nothing compared to the mix of both melee and ranged units. With both types on his team, ADQ3 can make his opponent micro his ass off, while getting free hits from his own dragoons. In case you didn't get any of the above lines I'd just say it this way; Status got raped. ADQ3 chased his enemy back into his base, and kept him under hard pressure with constant reinforcements from his main. Ultimately, the whole base crumbled under the powerful fist of ADQ3. < End of dramatization>

ADQ3 seems to have the upper hand now, and he expands to the northwest main. He discovered the new enemy base at northeast a bit later, realizing that Stat isn't dead at all, but is producing zeals and goons from four gates. ADQ3 didn't find the hidden tech buildings for quite some time, leaving Status enough time to crank out a DT that slipped through ADQ3s main base defense, and killed 10 probes before being spotted. This might seems as a minor detail but in fact it not only equalized the income of the two players, but gave Status a clear advantage, seeing how ADQ3's new expansion hadn't come online yet.

Seconds later, ADQ3 made a move towards Status' main, but Status had learned the lesson from earlier on, and chased ADQ3 away with a good microed team of zeals and goons. He also expanded to the small mining site on the raised ground in front of his new main.

Just before he got chased away, ADQ3 saw the new expansion and knew he was gonna do something drastic, or get outmined before long. His new army of mostly goons patrolled their lousy asses in a straight line en route to an organized Status defense. The horrible strategic move was quickly punished, and even though ADQ3 retreated his men to regroup, he lost quite a few goons in the process.
Seconds later, ADQ3's men are better organized and he moves in for the kill, with a much improved formation, I might add :). The strong forces meet up just below Status' new exp, and engaged each other with fury, both dancing like mad Scottish people on crack (err just forget that one :O). Suddenly, Status comes in with his zealot reinforcement, who recently got their leg enhanced and smashes through ADQ3's goons, swiftly killing them all and once again proving how pure goon just don't work in PvP.

Further adding to shame, Status dropped a few zealots in ADQ3's northwest exp, totally raping it while the battle raged. With no income to write home about, and a unit count lower than Epoch71's IQ (No offense) ADQ3, aka Mark4, AKA Ye 'Ole Protoss boy resigned.

Thoughts on the Game:
Admittedly, not the longest but a close fought match that shifted back and forth a few times. The lesson to learn here is that zeal+goon rapes pure goon, and interestingly enough, while most battles in the game had an even unit count on both sides, the player with the most zealots usually won, odd =]
The other deciding factor is definitely the damn DT's, luckily there's nothing like them in Warcraft 3 O.o

And that concludes Game 1, but don't go away just yet, cuz the best is yet to come! Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, Game 2. Which is also about twice as long.

Lets "meet" the players shall we?

Status
Well, if you don't know this guy, you properly should go see a doctor or something, cuz he played in the previous match! Duh!
Interesting Fact #4: He uses his previously mentioned third testicle to fight crime and micro when he's terran. How sinister...

idc_blade
Who? I don't know if I should know this guy, but let me tell you this about him; he is very good at.. errr ok forget it I don't know shit.

Less gay introductions, more game.

As you can see, Status got his zergy zerg hatchery at 6, while Blade got his chosen toss at 12. Right from the beginning, I grew suspicious of Blade's abilities, because of a horrible split, but hell that happens to us all :)

Status made his first ovie on 8, and expanded to his natural at 11 supply. His next drone sacrificed himself to make a spawning pool. A honorable death :) Status continued his power-quick-kill-blade strat, and made an extra hatchery at his natural, while adding a hydra den in his main. After some drone pumping, he finally begun producing serious amounts of troops.

Blade noticed the obvious power trip at Status' base, and instead of rushing he decided to tech like crazy, making a pylon on 8, gate on 10, then gas followed by a cybercore. After some gas mining he slapped down a robotics facility, revealing his plan to go for reavers. He protected his ramp with a few goons and zeals, making sure Status had no idea what was going down.

As Status began pumping units, and started his lair upgrade, Blade sent out his sexual (sexual like summer breeze) shuttle, containing the vaunted reaver and a zealot. Dropping the load off at the mineral line, Blade was immediately greeted by two hydras. Naturally they didn't live for long, but it gave Status some time to escape his drones, making sure no more than five drones caught a scarab in the eye (Oww). Status sent hydras in to intercept, but Blade still had his zealot and made good use of it, drawing fire from the fragile machine. After several hydras had tasted the infamous scarab, the reaver and shuttle was finally shot down.

Following the reaver drop, Blade added a observatory and a third gateway, now producing dragoons like the madman he is. As he moved his new goon army of about 10 out, he remembered to expand to his natural, giving him a distinct advantage in economy since Stat still wasn't using his main fully yet.
The aforementioned goon army marched southwards in hopes of easy women and easy kills, they got neither, as a tough battle ensued, a control group of hydras and some random lings stumbled upon them and began tearing pieces off. The powerful goons eventually won the skirmish with some dancing and moved on to the zerg natural. A seizable force of random zerg shit raced out to get them, and perhaps still thinking of the easy women, Blade retreated his goons. After he retreated, Status started his sinister plans inside his main, by adding a queens nest.

Blade had two forges by now, and put them to good use, soon getting his 1/1/0 upgrade. (Weapons, armor, shields). Our goonloving friend soon had a spanking new army ready, completely ignoring the Templar>zerg factor :) Almost 20 Goons hit Status recently started hatchery at the mineral only, and Status starting sending in the cavalry. Some unfortunate clicking on Status' part meant he only got half his force in the battle at once, making life easy for the dragoons.
The initial waves of defense was easily stopped, but Status didn't cancel the still morphing hatchery, in order to buy himself time to construct hideous amounts of sunkens at his natural. As the now 12~ dragoons finally charge the natural, three queens fly in from the east, casting their dreaded ensnare spell! I'm not sure if Status woulda been better of spending the money on fighting units, but those ensnares saved him this time around, since ensnared dragoons doesn't exactly "own" speedlings ;)

Status started his mineral only again, while Blade made the surprise move of the match, by adding a Templar archives vs. zerg!

Blade definitely isn't know for his subtlety, as another horde of goons soon patrolled their way towards the zerg hive clusters. They arrived just as Status had expanded to his mineral only again, and were meet with stiff response, namely two control groups of misc. zerg units with a handy ensnare not far away :) With heavy losses on both sides (uhmm, all their units in other words) the battle weren't really won, but rather stopped as neither side could muster any real forces after the battle.

At this time, Status got his lurker and drop upgrades ready, a deadly combination :) And while our friend Blade took the 3 O'clock natural, Status made sure to stop mining at Blade's 12 natural, keeping the protoss executor from getting ahead in the mineral race.

Blade knew he had to keep up the pressure, so far he was close to defeating Status twice, but didn't quite finish the job. That was a mistake he planned to correct, and his new army didn't consist solely of dragoons! The horror! Proving that he had some strategic knowledge he added some dark templars and valuable zeals to help deal with his opponents cracklings.

To everyone's great surprise, Blade went head on against the mineral only, crashing into the hydra and zergling packs, with ensnare never far away. The zeals did their job well and pushed back the hydras while ripping the upgrade-less zerglings to pieces with their 1+ attack. But once again, possibly with divine intervention, Status managed to kill quell the attack with his last men. Deja Vu anyone?

Blade expanded to the 3 O'clock mineral only, but Status showed him everyone why lurkers shouldn't be in war3, and using just 5 of them he shut down THREE expansion at a time, the 12 Natural, the 3 Natural and the recently built 3 mineral only. Blade wasn't really prepared to fight lurkers, and had only established control of the mineral only one. With these cunning moves, Status had put himself way ahead of Blade, since the toss commander only had his mineral only now, while Status mined from all of his three bases. (His main wasn't dry yet.)

The first storm of the game was unleashed as Blade moved his group of units to the center once again and met some zergs. The storm killed- wait for it -ONE LING. Sheesh. Anyway, Blade stormed his zerg enemy from the east side of his mineral only, charging his new archons in with goon support. Then Status slapped down his secret card. The fancy weapon. The PP7! Ehmm, I mean dark swarm of course :) The orange skies covered the protoss units, and with lurkers somewhere under the orange sky, the brave protoss warriors didn't live for long, getting completely owned without killing a single lurker =(

With his newfound lurker love, Status wastes no time in morphing 15 lurkers and going straight for gold, at Blade's only real mining site, the 3 mineral only. The underground beasts burrow right next to the nexus and the one cannon defending, leveling with amazing speed. To my great surprise, this prompts Blade to leave!
Yes my boys, the "stalwart" protoss leader left the game with this sudden turn of events. He couldn't mine anywhere, and his resources were running dry.

Thoughts on the game:
A pretty sudden turn of events in the End, and all in all a very good game with plenty of action, although Blade didn't quite impress me with his game, he managed to keep Status under pressure the entire time, not giving him any time to recover and mass expand. Really the irritating lurker drops was the deciding factor, since Blade had no shuttle nor that many observers. This game could easily had gone either way but I guess Status won it :) Oh yeah, sorry for the undramatic ending, but that really was how it went down :(

Random Crap:
Well kids, that's it for this time. My thanks go out to Dialtone and Status, who made this possible. Also credit is due to Greg Martin and Ryan Bliss who made the fantastic art I used in the report (The background images on the collages).
And I hope this brings the recent report sections back to life, since people didn't exactly spam us with reports lately, but if Dagomar keeps his promise, he will have another BR out by the day after I posted this, so now you have something to look forward to as well :) Another thing: This will for sure be my last Starcraft report. I've made around 22 so far, but War 3 comes out in a few weeks, and you can be sure I'll be there and reporting games like never before, which I hope everyone else will :)

Before I shut down, I have a couple of thing I wanna show you, first off; Do you remember the SCV~007 report that had the rapping contest in the End? Well this other day, Mr. Dag tried rapping, or singing, or making a ass of himself. The result is show below.

-ZerG~LinG