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Pork ruins Johnny's reputation
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Author:Smoked Pork
IP:XXXX
Date: 05/11/99 12:05
Game Type: Starcraft
Labels:Starcraft(1), Text Only(1)
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Report Rating: 7.0, # of Ratings: 1, Max: 7, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for Smoked Pork: 7.0000
Where to begin...late Monday night/Tuesday morning Johnny Vegas went in search of a partner for a 2v2. He showed up in Nohunters and, myself being one of the only few people hanging around, reluctantly allowed me to play shotgun.

We went off to some guild channel where our two guildie opponents waited. Turns out they were trying to break 50%...their guild vs. miscellaneous teams. We started out on...cripes, what map was it? Doesn't really matter; some space platform level.

Anyway, I was Zerg in the upper left. Johnny was Terran in lower left. Oops, did I say I was in the upper left? I meant upper right. Okay, our opponents were Terran in upper left and Toss in lower right. I cranked out 12 zerglings and took off to Terran's base, which bunkerless. I plotted a course for my lings, shift-queueing two moves and then an attack move; the plan was to have them end-around and circumvent the bulk of Terran's base, then strike from behind. Meanwhile I egged up some more lings and drones. Too late I noticed that my 12 lings had run into half as many marines who were on the way to my base. Since I had move-move-attack moved my zerglings they ran (literally) into the marines, who proceeded to tear the apart. This was bad. By the time I reordered my zerglings they were no match for the marines. The marines trounced them and continued on to my base. I very very quickly threw up two creep colonies in addition to the sunken I already had. The marines showed up followed by a half-dozen zealots. My first sunken was knocked out but the other two finished in time to fend them off. Johnny sent in about six marines to defend while I rebuilt.

This I did quickly. Johnny and I threw packs of marines, bats and zerglings at the Toss base, severely damaging it. His ally set up a bunker and a tank there, keeping our continued attacks at bay. After we massed for a while we threw ourselves at Toss again, this time all but wiping him out. All the zerglings I had were busy razing Toss when Terran countered against my base. I ran my lings back but they never made it in time. I had two lurkers but I lost track of them somewhere around Toss' base...the few hydras and zerglings at my base didn't last long under the fire of several tanks around my perimeter. These tanks also prevented any of my drones from escaping, and burrow wasn't quite done when my hive blew. I thought I might be able to get a drone around the back of my assimilator, or whatever a Zerg assimilator is called. I managed to do this without them spotting me. I ran this one last drone up a nearby ramp that led to a narrow L-shaped ledge. Only one evolution chamber remained in my base, and desperate to continue, I threw up a hatch on the top of that ledge as soon as I could.

I thought everything was okay. Johnny was doing something somewhere, beating up on Toss' remaining buildings I think, that distracted the enemy and drew him away from my base. I had about 150 (exactly 153, actually) minerals, and made three drones.

Life sucks.

Much to my dismay, I had placed the hatchery in such a location that the drones that spawned could not get around it and down to the minerals I needed to continue. Johnny kept prodding me to mine and rebuild, and I couldn't seem to make him understand that I simply couldn't. I spent the rest of the game staring at the 3 minerals I had left.

After this fiasco I had two zerglings and an overlord remaining under my control. I used the overlord to spot for Johnny's tanks. The zerglings died on some random scouting assignment.

And so I sat there for the rest of the game, knowing full well that we'd be able to pull it off if I hadn't trapped my drones on that damned ledge. Johnny held out for as long as he could, but he was slowly and eventually overwhelmed.

Anyway, now I've alienated Johnny and completely, utterly demonstrated my total suckiness. No one will ever play with me again. I'm a failure. I now know my place in the StarCraft society...7v1 comp matches on Big Game Hunters.

Signing off,

Smoked Pork





















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