"I guess this is the kind of stuff that most reporters generally gloss over in a single sentence, but I took a lot of screenshots of me blowing up random spaceships and I'm damned if I'm not going to use them."
-|]agomar
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| An Ode To One Of BR.com's Finest | | | Author: | | | IP: | proxy1.sXXXX | | Date: | 07/13/01 06:07 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 8, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for [SM]Strega~F: 7.2000 |   | |
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Hello there people, and welcome to my very first (possibly last) tribute BR! Yes, that's right, upon hearing of Jeb's demise (taking a break, possibly retiring for good) I decided that he deserved the best. Unfortunately, I made the report, so it will fall way short of what he deserves. Oh well, so long as the message gets across, it's all fine.
The message? We love you Jeb!
So, without wasting your time much longer, I will now allow you to hit the "back" button on your browser and escape the inevitable nightmare that is a Strega BR.
This game was one that I observed between CrackHeadJeb (in smurf form) and a nice fellow from beyond, adequately named FUXTHISGAME. All in caps. Ho-hum...
The map was none other than good ol' Black Vane No.2 Obs version. Yes, I had never heard of it before either. Upon asking who made this fine map, Fux told me that it was made by Koreans. Wow, that's a sure sign of quality gaming there! The minimap is just below this paragraph (if you can call it that).
Each starting position contains 9 mineral patches and 1 geyser. Also, there's a single-choke type cliff around each money source. Cliffings-a-plenty can be seen periodically when playing on this map. Away from the action somewhat, is the mineral only expansion for each base. These contain 6 mineral patches and are easily defended against ground troops, as they will need to go past your main to get to this expansion.
Each "natural" expansion (in terms of Lost Temple) contains 5 mineral patches and 1 geyser. These require a lot of attention, as any ground units will have to go through here to get to your main. Air units can also wreak havoc here. Just like LT, there are two island expansions. These contain 8 mineral patches and 1 geyser. They are located at top right and bottom left.
Just a quick word before we start. I previously said that Jeb was in smurf form. As I haven't been in contact with him since this game, I will not release his smurf name in case he wishes for it to remain unknown. Well, now that the map and player details have been ironed out, let's get on with the game, shall we?
Ok, I know I said that we'd get to the game, but I have a little more that needs to be said. This report will be in a second-person style, where I tell the story from Jeb's point of view. Above, you will also notice a rather crappy scenario. I logged back on to B.net after being disconnected and, waiting for me, was myself! Not only that, but I had a different lag status (not uncommon) and a different ladder rating! My points went down for some reason (no I wasn't playing a ladder game when I got disced). Weird.
Our hero started off on the right-hand side of the map, eager to punish his foe of unknown race, through use of his mighty terran armada. Knowing this map reasonably well, Jeb throws down a depot at his choke while at 8 supply, then immediately sends that SCV to scout once it is finished. A barracks soon follows to complete the wall-in, while SCVs are still being pumped. The scouting SCV finds Fux at the top start spot, with the most evilest race ever, gaytoss. No, I'm kidding. Protoss has been banned on b.net until further notice and, as such, Fux was the zerg.
The SCV decides to stay overnight and camps out in a little crevice inside Fux's base that is nowhere near his choke. Another barracks is built, while the first one dutifully pumps marines, and shortly afterwards gas is tapped. At this point, the brave SCV is found by an overlord and slaughtered by 2 zerglings, despite his valiant attempts at the Fox Trot. Unfortunately, SCVs just cannot dance. His death does serve a purpose though, as Jeb receives warning of the looming threat.
8 zerglings breach the wall-in, while unfortunate placement of the first barracks means that 2 of Jeb's marines are stuck. Through good usage of his available marines and even a few SCVs, the threat is put down rather easily, although mining and macro were taken down a knotch by this incursion.
You may remember the death of our poor little SCV. Well, while dying he managed to scout out part of Fux's base in his last moments alive. Seeing a lair morphing, there was really only two options Jeb could see. One was lurkers, the other was mutalisks. Either way, an engineering bay would be very helpful, as turrets deter small amounts of muts and also divert lurkers from their paths.
To counter these two possible threats, an E-bay was thrown down at the same time as a factory. When these were done, some turrets were scattered around Jeb's main and tanks were furiously built, along with a starport. Seeing as his base was relatively safe from muts, Jeb moves out with 6 marines in order to attempt a blockade. Scouting ocured by a marine on 10 health (no medics) and he ran into a sunken colony. Shortly afterwards, the scouting was done for Jeb by Fux himself. 2 zerglings streamed out of his base, followed by 4 lurkers.
Vainly attempting to stop the threat before it reached his main, Jeb started shooting the lurkers and then running when they burrowed. Using these methods he managed to hurt 1 lurker a little while all of his marines died. Hmm. The lurkers arrived at Jeb's base only to find a turret and a tank awaiting them. Thus, burrowing in a convenient spot, 1 of the lurkers managed to shoot at the barracks without getting shot back. One marine popped out and... got stuck. Another marine popped out and... got stuck. At this point the lurker could reach the new marine due to the location of the small gap and killed both of them.
SCVs repaired the wall-in constantly, forcing the lurkers to abandon this idea.
That starport had not been idle all this time. A wraith popped out, followed by the add-on. The wraith, in search of personal glory (well, he was trying to impress the valkyrie pilots actually) flew over towards Jeb's natural. There he encountered 2 overlords and a hydralisk. The wraith died to the hydralisk while the overlord only had 14 health left. Damn.
Deciding to take matters into his own hands (as opposed to before?), Jeb pumps out a dropship and loads it up with marines. Just before this happened, an academy was built aswell as another barracks (totalling 3). Had the academy come in quicker, the following mess could've been avoided. The comsat arrived too late, and the drop was doomed to failure. One good point is that a lurker got blown away while the dropship flew overhead (tanks) but that was about the only good point.
The dropship arrived at the mineral line of Fux's main and starts dropping off marines. But not any sort of drop, this was a gay-drop. You know, the way the computer drops guys? As such, the 3rd marine to unload landed in range of a sunken (same one as before) and the 2nd marine that was unloaded decided to join him in his death. Unloading 2 more marines behind the minerals, 3 still remained in the dropship as 2 scourge hit it. To make things worse, 3 muts arrived on the scene and killed 1 marine before running to the sunken.
The marines, being the idiots that they are, followed their targets blindly and even more died to the sunken. In total, 1 mutalisk died, 1 drone died and 8 marines, 1 dropship met their fate.
After this dismal effort, a just-finished command centre in Jeb's main floated it's way down to the south mineral/gas expansion. Along with it went 2 dropships full of M&M, while an SCV back at home dutifully made a science facility. Scanning with the initial energy of the comsat, Jeb found Fux's mineral only to be populated fairly decently. As soon as the next 50 energy stored up, Jeb suddenly realised that he was way behind. Fux had also taken his mineral/gas expansion.
Deciding that upgrades would have to do until he had enough units to hold onto his expansions, Jeb built another E-bay.
Just as the expansion came online, Jeb decides to expand again. Building another CC in his base, his minerals are running out quickly. An SCV is produced at his newly-acquired expansion when disaster strikes. A small group of mutalisks fly in and die to sustained M&M fire, but the damage has been done. Around 8 lurkers burrow right underneath the marines, killing all but 2 in a matter of seconds. Seeing as this will only lead to more death, Jeb does the manly thing.
That SCV gets moved to below the geyser (to warn of any expansion attempts there) and the CC is floated up towards Jeb's natural. At this time, his other CC is done and floats towards his mineral only. Good thing, too, as his main just finished production of any sort of feasible economy.
At roughly the same time as the lurkers attacked his expansion, Jeb dropped a tank, 3 marines and 1 medic on a newly-discovered Fux expansion, located at the left-hand side natural. They were doing really well, too, but it was not to be. The lurkers came back home and slaughtered all of the units there.
I'm not sure if it was caused by alcohol or nerves, but Jeb then sends in some more marines from his main to attack the undetected lurkers. Go figure. At this point Jeb realised that he would be pretty screwed if he didn't have a venerable source of detection, and starts massing even more science vessels. A funny thing to mention is that when one of these vessels popped out, 2 scourge were scouting Jeb's base. I think you get the point.
Things were quiet on the battlefield, and both combatants searched for the meaning of life through interactions with the odd wildlife on the planet. A lifeform that they could not see, but could hold conversations with. Yes, that's right folks. The players realised why the game seemed to be going in slow motion. No, it wasn't due to the anomolous size of the planet or it's central star, it was due to "The Laggin' Aussie," as Satan'sCookies feverishly calls me.
Talk turned to dingoes (correct spelling - only in Australia...) and their dietary habits, oddly profound accents, koalas, Elle Macpherson (and her lesser known sister, Mimi) and the undeniable fact that Australian beer > you. Now, I don't know if this was just an excuse to explain some odd moves that the players made, or if it was a sinister tactic by Fux, who was trying to throw Jeb off of his game. Either way, all I remember is mashing my keyboard frantically in order to keep up with the conversation.
Well, after the talk died down, I noticed something odd. Shortly after, Jeb noticed it too. A guardian, protected by 2 scourge, was hammering away at Jeb's natural. Squandering the scourge on a science vessel, Jeb was then able to drop a whole heap of marines underneath the single guardian. Also, if you look closely underneath the dropship, you will see a tank. I'm not sure what Jeb was thinking, but I'm assuming that thoughts of Elle and Mimi Macpherson in a bubblebath (my fault) had started to get to him.
In one of the most beautifully tactical moves I have ever seen a terran player pull, Jeb made his impression in undeniable style. Dropping off a tank and a few marines at where Jeb previously tried to expand, all was going well. The leftover SCV (remember him?) had served his purpose and things started dying (mainly drones). Those trusty lurkers came filing in and killed off the attack before the hatchery could be put down, and only a few drones had been killed.
So, why is this a great move? Another dropship had flown over to the left-hand start position with a cargo of 8 marines (gotta love comsat). The hatchery got blown away aswell as a large number of drones before any support could arrive. As Fux brought in a large number of zerglings, Jeb, rather than try to kill the extractor, loaded back up. In this attack he lost a total of 2 marines. Not bad, Jeb, not bad.
 
Wait up people, it doesn't end there! Jeb's genius tried to take the entire game all by itself. That dropship that got loaded back up travelled over to the south natural. Unloading, as well as meeting up with another dropship, these brave soldiers stimmed and ran into a newly-scanned expansion. One lurker fell before killing anything and a second one only managed to kill 3 or 4 marines. Staying out of range from the other lurkers, these stimmed-up marines beat on an already-wounded hatchery.
Before he knew what was happening, Fux had lost 2 expansions, killing off about 8 marines and a tank. Fair trade? I think not!
You may be wondering why those marines didn't get harassed by all of the zerglings that Fux seemed to have. Well, in a cruel twist of fate (I'm not quite sure how though) while on the way there, the zerglings encountered a marine. A marine on a ledge. A ledge not accessable by ground. However, computer AI tells the zerglings to attack him (attack moved). So, the scene is one of beautiful splendour, as 1 single marine starts killing these zerglings, thus allowing the escape of the renegade marines.
Well, I know I said that the left-hand main and the southern natural were killed, but the extractors still remain there. That, from my executive decision, constitutes an expansion. So, while things are looking grim for Jeb, Fux only has 1 more expansion than him. Also, the sheer number of SCVs that Jeb has means that he is bringing in minerals at the same rate as Fux.
After this spate of success by our beloved Jeb, it was obvious that Fux was not a happy person. 2 lurkers were dropped at Jeb's mineral only (low ground) and 2 were dropped on the cliff above the minerals. Acting rather quickly, the SCVs were pulled away without losing too many of their number. First to go was the turret positioned there. Then, the nearby bunker started getting hit by one of the lower-ground lurkers. 2 brave SCVs began repairing the bunker while a science vessel slowly made it's way over.
Some tanks arrived on the scene to blow away the 2 lower lurkers, while the vessel slowly chaged up it's energy. Soon the 2 lurkers on the cliff started getting shot at by one of the tanks and, to speed the process up, the one only being hit by splash damage got irradiated.
Both players were getting desperate to break the deadlock. Jeb decided that, after having dropped most of Fux's expansions, he would drop his opponent's main. Seeing as most zerg players have their entire tech tree at their main, this seemed to be a solid plan.
3 dropships full of marines (and a few medics) were accompanied by a single vessel to Fux's main. Upon dropping these brave men and hoes, err, women, Jeb notices to his dismay that he is going to be up against defilers any time soon. Hmm. Shortly after this discovery, another, even more shocking, discovery is made. Accompanying the lings that have been dispatched to kill these marines, giant lumps of steroid-abuse came growling into the fray. Yes, ultralisks. This plan went to shits faster than an Englishman in India (damn curry!).
1 ultralisk perished, along with a fair few zerglings, but apart from that the attack was a complete failure. You know how I said things were looking grim for Jeb? Well, double that.
Upon leaving the hallowed grounds of Fux's main, the token science vessel spotted something important. 5 guardians were heading for Jeb's mineral-only. Running as many SCVs as he could away from there, he then proceeded to irradiate everything in sight. The first vessel got off 1 irradiate before being killed by scourge. Then 2 more vessels came. They both let off 2 irradiates, killing the entire threat before they could do much at all. Jeb, you have reprived yourself. Nice micro there, old chap.
Trying a more "Infomercial" approach, Fux sent a dozen zerglings into Jeb's natural to test the waters. They died horribly without killing much at all. Roughly only 1 tank died along with maybe 2 marines at most.
All was not quiet on the western front, no matter how much Jeb thought it was. Getting caught with his pants down, I was then privvy to one of the most sensational battles I have ever seen. This was only matched by a game I had played a few weeks before on Rivalry against my friend. The culmination of an hour and a half had my 11 carriers and 10 corsairs, along with 8 templar and 2 arbiters fight off against a huge number of devourers and mutalisks, along with some guardians to assassinate my templar. Needless to say, the battle lasted 5 minutes with huge amounts of micro on both player's behalf.
That mental picture may show you how epic the following battle was. Defilers lay dark swarm down, ultralisks and zerglings streamed in, along with the occasional lurker. The battle just didn't seem to end. At the start of it all, it appeared as if Jeb was hopelessly screwed, but then d-matrix and irradiate, along with his cumulative army, started killing off the huge number of attackers.
Suddenly, there would be more zerg units, and it would again seem to be the end of Jeb until his newly-produced units came into play. The power shifted many times until, finally, the last of the ultralisks had died, the dark swarm had long since evaporated and marines were left to clean up the few remaining zerglings.
About to embark on a full-scale retaliation while the oppurtunity still presented itself, Jeb threw down some more units, killed anything that was even similar to blue in colour (racist =o) and started strutting his stuff.
It was then that he realised something. He realised that he had underestimated his opponent. About to enter the very centre of the map, more ultralisks (3) and a whole heap of zerglings poured back into the fray. Retreating to his reinforcements, Jeb watched in horror as another dark swarm was thrown down. D-matrix aside, Jeb's units started falling like U.S. Spy Planes to the huge claws of China, erm, the ultralisks. Realising that he had been defeated and allowing his delusions to pass, Jeb said his GGs and left the victor to ponder the deep mysteries of the Macpherson sisters...
As a side note, Jeb and Fux went on to play 2 more games, both of which I observed. Strangely enough, even though he went random every time, Jeb received terran for each game. In game 2, Fux was protoss and won through use of gayness in relative ease. Game 3 saw him win in a beatdown as zerg, where he killed Jeb off with an early pool and constant attacks while teching. Neither games were worth reporting, or else this would've been a trilogy.
So, without more blabbering, I'll let you get on with flaming me. Ciao!
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