Upon entry into the game, I find that the following players have agreed to play in a ffa: A_monkey, Aiurs~Pride, ~=^Syn^=~, now known as just plain Syn, Wuzzlez, and Rowdy_Zergling. A_monkey has already chosen his race, the beloved protoss, while his opponents choose to stick with the notoriously, disorderly, and overall unfavorable random. Also in this game on Polaris Prime is ChubyBunny, who will observe the game just to improve his playing ability (no one ever does that anymore.) The game begins with these players walking on the same hallowed grounds where so many died in previous battles, including the troops commanded by the brutal Heartcutter, the determined mark4, and the stylish [FLS]Prozerran. (For those who don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, click here to see the well-known WW3 ffa report by YRM.)

When every single chobo enters the game, the map is surveyed. The players and locations are:
A_monkey blue protoss top right corner.
Aiurs~Pride brown terran lower left corner.
Wuzzlez teal zerg center left.
Syn red terran, top left corner.
Rowdy_Zergling white protoss, lower right corner.

Be forewarned that with 5 players, it may be incredibly hard to follow this game, it may even be necessary to refer back to separate parts of the report to understand what’s happening. I must tell those that either personally hate me, or cannot pay attention to long br’s, that it would be nice if you just scrolled down to the comments section and put useless, profanity ridden comments about my pretty pictures and animations. Oh yes, be aware that this report contains more than 2 megabytes of graphics. I don't believe in putting all caps messages in the titles of br's, but you still have no right to say that I didn't warn you.

Anyway, all players go for early gas, but deviate when it comes to choosing which units to build. A_monkey, in his defensive wisdom, places a screen of photon cannons around his base, then decides to go for a large air force and an even larger force of infantry. Aiurs~Pride liberally builds stuff with no sense of what he’s doing until his first starport is completed. Wuzzlez goes for mass ground troops, probably hydralisks. Syn appears to be going for mass infantry, and Rowdy_Zergling goes straight for carriers and scouts(great idea.)

No actions for another 10 minutes, as the players build up and expand. When the first shots are fired in anger, every player except for A_monkey has expanded once. The first shots come from the lower right corner, at Rowdy_Zergling's base. Apparently A_monkey sent out a couple of observers, and found Rowdy_Zergling's base, and decided to stir things up a little. A_monkey orders a shuttle to drop a reaver there. The reaver destroys an amazing 17 probes before being destroyed by Rowdy_Zergling's scouts.

Next action of the game comes when Wuzzlez sends an overlord containing two drones north, to start an expansion at a spot where Syn has already established one. The 2 drones take Syn by surprise, and he allows them to deal 50 damage to a missile turret before his marines located there can kill the drones. Wuzzlez, realizing that this terran expansion is only a couple of seconds in a dropship away, orders an overlord containing 4 hydralisks to destroy this expansion. At about the same time, A_monkey makes another reaver drop, this time on Rowdy_Zergling's expansion. Scouts successfully destroy the reaver, but the losses are high, with 4 probes dead and heavy damage to photon cannons and pylons surrounding the nexus.

The drop made by Wuzzlez is ineffective, and Syn wins the engagement with the loss of only 1 marine. Wuzzlez, realizing that this expansion must be taken out because of Syn's military presence there, orders 3 overlords, with 8 hydralisks and 12 zerglings north for another drop on Syn's expansion. This time, the drop is successful. The expansion falls, and Syn is forced to look east for more resources.

Minutes pass in silence, as the players taunt each other, and build up forces for the next assault. Finally, Wuzzlez sights Aiurs~Pride's expansion east of the terran player’s main, and orders a large force of hydralisks and zerglings from one of his expansions to take this intrusion out. Unfortunately for Wuzzlez, zerglings are faster than hydralisks, so the attack effectively comes in two waves, a bunch of zerglings in single file, and a mass of hydralisks clumped together. The initial terran defenses consisting of a bunker and a siege tank are destroyed, but kill all but 3 hydralisks. In a last ditch effort, Aiurs~Pride orders his mass of scvs to kill these invaders. Realizing that his 3 hydralisks will not be able to stand up to these mighty scvs, Wuzzlez orders his invaders to retreat and to prepare for another invasion

The next invasion comes a minute later, when 12 hydralisks zoom in from the north, and begin to destroy the almighty scvs. But, from the west, a loud noise is heard. It sounds like, THE AFTERBURNERS OF A BATTLECUIRSER FLEET! The hydralisks begin to face this threat, but the battlecruisers are too strong, every single hydralisk dies without destroying a single battlecruiser. Only then does Wuzzlez notice that these battlecruisers belong to Aiurs~Pride.

Seconds later, on the other side of the map, another skirmish takes place between A_monkey and Rowdy_Zergling. Apparently, A_monkey is in desperate need of resources, with only 1 expansion, and drops 3 dragoons and a reaver on Rowdy_Zergling's center-right expansion. With precious few defenses, and the defenses he does have in the form of air to air corsairs, Rowdy_Zergling's expansion falls within moments.

By now, the game is virtually 2 battles, one in the east between A_monkey and Rowdy_Zergling, the other in the west, between Wuzzlez, and the two-terran players. In the east, A_monkey appears to be winning, but a strong offensive on the behalf of Rowdy_Zergling might change that. In the west, Wuzzlez is fighting a resource battle against the vast armies of infantry commanded by Syn, and the powerful fleet of battlecruisers commanded by Aiurs~Pride. Resource wise, there’s only 1 unoccupied expansion, it is located between Syn and A_monkey's mains. Incidentally, these 2 players have the least expansions of the bunch. It is clear that an imminent showdown will develop between Wuzzlez and Aiurs~Pride. Whoever wins this battle will easily crush Syn, but may have difficulty beating the victor in the east.

In order to try and outsource Aiurs~Pride, Wuzzlez orders 8 overlords, full to the brim with hydralisks, north to take out Syn's only expansion. The terran expansion has only recently been established, because of the fear that Wuzzlez will again try and take the expansion, wasting terran men and resources for nothing. Unfortunately, that’s just what’s about to happen, with a huge number of hydralisks descending upon the unsuspecting expansion. Syn is taken by surprise, and the command center takes flight (literally), with only 2 tanks in siege mode to cover the retreat. However, Wuzzlez is determined to destroy this terran expansion, and focuses all his firepower on the floating command center. Within moments, it crashes to the ground, leaving the expansion open to Zerg expansion efforts. Syn's two tanks are crushed without a problem, and Syn's only option is to move east, right into the jaws of A_monkey.

Wuzzlez, in order to try and destroy Aiurs~Pride's infrastructure before it’s too well entrenched, orders a huge force of hydralisks and zerglings, south from one of his expansions towards Aiurs~Pride's 2nd expansion, found directly east of his main. The fast zerglings meet an even faster reception, finding the terran fleet of battlecruisers hovering over the ramp leading to the terran expansion. The glorious offensive turns into a routine school trip to the slaughterhouse, with zerglings dying left and right, not to the hideous knives of butchers, but to the powerful bolts of battlecruisers. The battlecruisers meet almost no resistance as they slaughter this Zerg attack with the utmost professionalism and efficiency.

Suddenly out of the blue, err black of Polaris Prime; Wuzzlez hears a low stuttering. Just his luck, on the same battlefield a [FLS]Prozerran, he has found the deadliest enemy a terran commander has to offer, battlecruisers. He zooms in on the disturbance, found in his expansion, located southeast of his main. The massive fleet of battlecruisers spares no mercy to the mindless zombies protecting the hatchery, and slaughter them with precision and accuracy. As the battle rages between teal hydralisks and brown battlecruisers, 3 ultralisks rush south, dodging the exploding hydralisks, and evading internal, now external organs. Aiurs~Pride pays no attention to these troops, confident that he will have both time to destroy the Zerg expansion, and to defend his expansion, about 30 seconds south of the fleet’s current position. But, his assumptions prove wrong as another wave of defenders moves south, across the maze of passages that is Polaris Prime. The battlecruisers take a critical 15 seconds to destroy these defenders, leaving the Zerg expansion defenseless. The fleet turns around, and heads towards the terran expansion. There, the terran defenses hold rather well against the Zerg onslaught, but the arrival of the battlecruisers sparks relief among the human infantry. With the help of scvs, the ultralisks are dispatched, and another skirmish ends.

But, this was not Aiurs~Pride's plan, he wanted to destroy the Zerg expansion without failure, but fail he did, and in order to redeem himself, Aiurs~Pride orders the fleet, still damaged from hydralisk spines, north from the terran expansion into Zerg territory. There, he finds that Wuzzlez has reinforced his defenses with a small group of hydralisks, and is morphing 2 spore colonies. What follows is complete chaos. Initially, Aiurs~Pride has the upper hand, with a large force of battlecruisers, and with only a small force of hydralisks and 2 incomplete spore colonies against him. Within 5 seconds, the spore colonies are completed, and out of nowhere comes a huge force of hydralisks, bent on destroying the machines that have killed so many of their brethren. The battlecruisers hastily retreat, and the hydralisks celebrate their victory.

Not so fast though, says fate, as Aiurs~Pride orders his fleet north again. At the same time, on the other side of the map, A_monkey is performing his own offensive. With a virtual stalemate on his hands with Syn, and every single expansion occupied, it is clear to A_monkey that he must make a decisive move against Rowdy_Zergling or Syn. To tell the truth, he could of done either, and still would of won. But, A_monkey chose the former, ordering a fleet of shuttles and scouts south to Rowdy_Zergling's only remaining expansion. The offensive is easily finished, with Rowdy_Zergling's defenses, consisting of an impressive photon cannon, falling in moments.

Meanwhile, to the west Aiurs~Pride's fleet is moving north again, and this time, there’s no stopping them. Wuzzlez has ordered his army of hydralisks northeast, to destroy Aiurs~Pride's expansion located there. This allows the terran battlecruisers to use their yamato guns without fear of retribution, and use this advantage they will. The battlecruisers slice through the Zerg juggernaut, and when it’s all over, Wuzzlez will have lost ½ of his expansions with resources, and a huge number of hydralisks that were sent single file to disrupt the battlecruisers.

In an attempt to draw Aiurs~Pride away from this devastating offensive, Wuzzlez orders a large, make shift force of zerglings south to destroy the terran expansion directly east of the terran main. Finally, once out of a dozen tries, the offensive works. Aiurs~Pride orders his buildings to lift off, but suddenly the fearsome sound of interceptors fills the air. Rowdy_Zergling has ordered his fleet out to kick some butt, and he finds a bunch of zerglings below a command center floating uselessly. Rowdy_Zergling is more than happy to destroy these enemies, and he does. But, to the east, something terrible is going on.

A_monkey, finally realizing that Rowdy_Zergling is in no position to fight, orders his large air/ground armada south to engage, and destroy any resistance the opposing protoss warriors can give at Rowdy_Zergling's main. With his only substantial forces abroad, Rowdy_Zergling decides to make his impact on the game. The protoss carriers set their navigation controls for Aiurs~Pride's main. There he meets up with the invincible battlecruiser fleet that Wuzzlez has been screaming about.

The battle begins with every single battlecruiser firing their almighty yamato cannon at the bulky carriers. This opening shots take 2 carriers down, and within a second the interceptors fly out of their bays. The battle rages, but when 2 carriers go down at the same time, and another wave of battlecruisers arrive, Rowdy_Zergling forces his forces home, or to what’s left of it. On the way, the battlecruisers fire their yamato guns, and every carrier goes down. The battle of the capital ships is over.

While this battle between capital ships was happening, Wuzzlez had sent a large force of hydralisks north to destroy Aiurs~Pride's center expansion. The attack met stubborn resistance, but with their commander’s attention diverted, the terran forces fall because of a lack of micro. It takes 5 minutes for the hydralisks to completely destroy the expansion. But Aiurs~Pride has vengeance on his mind, and sends his battlecruiser fleet to kill these hydralisk murderers. The hydralisks fall in seconds. Meanwhile, Rowdy_Zergling's base is being leveled by A_monkey. Rowdy_Zergling begs to be left alive, and A_monkey leaves a single extractor, and all players ally with him. For the rest of the game, Rowdy_Zergling will be making obscure and utterly stupid comments.

By now, the game is taking a sharp turn west. A_monkey, with Rowdy_Zergling eliminated, has the option to enter the great arena to his southwest, and stake a claim for himself. Syn is now facing the prospect of almost no resources, and realizes that unless he finds another patch of resources, he will be cannon fodder for the larger, more powerful armies. Wuzzlez is building up a fleet of devourers, hoping that he will be alive to see the game end in his favor. Finally, Aiurs~Pride, awaits his scvs to complete repairing and prepping of his fleet of battlecruisers, and end this game once and for all.

In order to gain more resource patches, Wuzzlez takes the easy way out. He attacks Syn's top-central expansion with a huge 2 pronged attack consisting only of hydralisks. Following the two ramps, the hydralisks rush at their enemies. On the left ramp, the hydralisks are slaughtered by a small fleet of battlecruisers, on the right; the massive wave overcomes the measly bunkers, and begins to destroy the essential parts of the expansion. It is easily noticed that not even all of Syn's forces together could dispatch these invaders, and when the expansion falls, Syn bitterly admits defeat, and leaves the game.

It rapidly appears that the next battle will determine the fate of the game. For this next battle inevitably will be fought in the center of the map, between Aiurs~Pride's fleet of battlecruisers, and Wuzzlez's large fleet of devourers. Indeed, this battle will not only be a test of military strength, but of micro management, and courage. Whoever attacks first will have a huge advantage over the one who is on the defensive. This great battle takes place 5 minutes after Syn leaves.

Aiurs~Pride, finally realizing that Wuzzlez has an expansion just a couple of seconds north of his central expansion, orders his fleet of battlecruisers north to crush this expansion, no matter what the resistance. He does not know of Wuzzlez's fleet of devourers and scourge. Of course, when the first shots are fired, it is a matter of seconds before Wuzzlez himself arrives to fight off the invasion. The two micro, micro like never microed before. The battle rages, and when it’s all over, the battlecruisers are able to roll right through the Zerg expansion, and destroy a huge number of overlords stationed around the former expansion. It is clear that if Wuzzlez had concentrated all his airpower in one place, instead of spreading them out, that he could of won the battle.

A_monkey, after destroying Rowdy_Zergling utterly, is prepared to get involved in the conflict that is far to his southwest. He has sent observers sprawling in all directions, and while many have been shot down, he knows the locations of both enemy bases, and is preparing a massive drop on one of the two.

The precursor to his glorious campaign comes in the form of the faster scouts and corsairs. "Where is he attacking?" you say. Well, A_monkey has set his sights on Wuzzlez, and has sent his entire army and navy to take out the Zerg expansion located north of Wuzzlez's main. The protoss forces meet very little resistance, but there’s a reason behind the cerebrate’s madness.

As the protoss forces begin the complete destruction of the Zerg expansion, Wuzzlez has sent 4 overlords, loaded with defilers and hydralisks, to destroy A_monkey's main. With all the significant protoss forces attacking his expansion, Wuzzlez meets little resistance, and squashes A_monkey's main like you or I would kill a cockroach.

The two sides have severely weakened each other. Aiurs~Pride, oblivious of the events of the last 3 minutes, orders his newly repaired battlecruiser fleet to the site of the former Zerg main. All he finds are heavily damaged tired protoss troops. The battlecruisers make short work of them, and turn east to destroy any other opponents there. Alas, A_monkey, who has fought so much, falls to the laser batteries of the battlecruisers. Even the Zerg troops, the former invaders, are unable to play the role of defender very well, and are slaughtered without a thought.

By now, it should be obvious who has won. While Wuzzlez indeed had a huge advantage in the middle of the game, he should of put more pressure on Aiurs~Pride in the middle of the game. Aiurs~Pride orders his battlecruisers to destroy Wuzzlez's main, and meet a scattered resistance of hydralisks and defilers. As the battlecruisers rush through the Zerg base, Wuzzlez surrenders right when he has a spire, and a Defiler Mound left.

Gentlemen, this report is complete. It has taken me an amazing amount of effort to write this (yeah right.) All material for this report was written under the influence of malt whiskey, please vote in the poll below, write comments in the comments section, please be specific, and have a nice and pleasant day. Oh yes, concerning the stats, on average 19 units were killed a minute, 53 minerals were mined a second, and 4 buildings were built a minute. Now the useless specs for aspiring br’ers. All pictures were done in paint shop pro 7.0, all animations were done in animation shop 3.0, all html was done in wordpad, all text came from a million dollar program called "the()vermind’s mind." Oh yes, raters, if you don’t rate this report in 72 hours, I will release the almighty Empire from Star Wars on you. Have a nice day.