"i support a woman's right to give me head"
-Casper...
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| Counterstrikeage | | | Author: | | | IP: | a-db.aspXXXX | | Date: | 03/11/01 06:03 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 7, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for Iron Lung: 7.0000 |  |
Well, this is my first BR, and I decided not to do it on Starcraft due to the fact that I suck pretty badly at that game. I decided to follow in Bob's foosteps and make a CS br to add a little variety to the site.
So I decide to join redphive's CS server, Kube 1. It's got good players most of the time, and its a good alternative to ICW, since Agent's gay ass decided to ban me for "speed hacking". But that's another story. All I know is that I'm innocent, damn it.
Anyway, on to the game. I join up and decide to auto select, and I get put on the CT team. The map is cs_office, which I normally do pretty well on. I joined with great
timing, becuase two seconds after I join a new round starts. I look down to the corner  of my screen and see that I have a little over 4 large cash money in the bank. That's enough for me to get a m4a1 colt(slienced), some kevlar, and a HE grenade.
I go straight ahead and toss my grenade up into the window in an effort to soften up the T's before the assault. I then go in the side window into the room with some blast doors housing a few T's on the other side. I take up a position where I'm not too visible and wait for an unsuspecting Terrorist to get curious and make his head visible. In about 5 seconds, sombody gets curious as I suspected, and I put a hole in his dome. Chalk up a kill for me.
I know there are some other Terrorists back there, so I hold my position. One of my Counter-Terrorist teammates opens the blast doors and almost simultaneously a Terrorist decided to get cute and throw a smoke, making it so that I couldn't see into the T's little encampment. The next thing I know, some guy comes running out, guns-a-blazing, and I silence him beforehe even landed a single shot on me. That's 2 kills and counting.
Since I'm doing so well here, I decide to stay and wait for the smoke to clear. While I'm sitting here with my thumb up my ass, I start taking hits from behind. I turn around fast, knowing that I'll probably be dead soon. When I do get around, the only thing I see is a dead Terrorist. One of my CT buddies must have saved my ass, thank god.
I turned around back to the blast doors and noticed that the smoke cleared. I was getting ready to go deep into Terrorist terrirory, but I was stopped short by MP5 spray, from behind again. Too bad my CT pal wasn't there to save my ass again :(
Despite my demise, my team came out victorious. In fact, in the next few rounds, my team was utterly raping the other team, and my score was 9/4, so I decided to try something a little different. The next round I bought me what is arguably the shittiest gun on the game - a Sig 550. This is not the Sig 552 Commando that is avaliable to the T's. This is the shitty ass auto-sniper rifle that does .001 damage per shot and who's recoil causes it to spred like a 2-cent whore. It sucks, but I decide that I'm going to try my luck anyway.
I take up a position in one of the windows surrounding the office complex hoping to get some easy shots off at any unsuspecting T's. Unfortunantly, some jackass is right next to me with an AWP(the sniper rifle that kills in one hit) and he is taking all the kills. Before I can even land a
shot on anyone, some guy pops my head like a melon from long range with a MP5. ASDFU :(
After this, one of my friends called so I had to take a timeout. When I came back, the server was on a map called cs_backalley. Now, I've been playing CS for around 3 months, and this map is basically impossible to memorize. It's like a giant maze in of buildings and alleys and ladders and shit as the name would imply.
Ok, so I join the Terrorist side this time, and I've got mad bank right off the bat once again. I buy myself an AK and a HE grenade, becuase I couldn't afford any kevlar.
So, I run out of the Terrorist spawn and follow some of my Terrorist pals that seem to know where they're going. Eventually I stray off from the group and find myself a PARA that someone dropped. The PARA is the game's machine gun. You lag like you've just dropped a load in your pants when you're carrying it, but its pretty powerful and has a 100-bullet clip. It also takes forever to reload when compared to the other guns in the game. Ok, so I'm booking through the level rambo style following one of my teammates, and he gets gunned down by deagle fire. I hide behind a corner, and reload my PARA. I charge out and mow down the little bastard hiding in the corner with his deagle.
I thought I was cool, but immediatly after that, I was raped by a deagle and I didn't even see
the whore.
When I got into free-look mode, I found the guy who shot me on top of a god damn streetlight. Bastard. His name was Grifter, and he was single handedly killing my whole team
with a deagle from on top of a lightpost.
Yeah, we're tools. This round ended up with 1 person left on each team, Grifter and some fag with an AWP named Toolman(yeah, he was a tool). I lost interest in this becuase they each just sat and camped. The round ran out of time and us Terrorists won because the CT's didn't get to the hostages
in time.
Ok so the next round wasn't very intersting. I followed one of my teammates to a bunch of windows overlooking an alleyway. I peeked my head out and saw about 3 CT's all with their sights trained on the window that I was looking out of. They shot me down to 18 health before I could duck
behind the corner. I was debating on what I should do, but my thoughts were cut short by a grenade that was lobbed up into the window, blowing my 18 hp to hell and back. The CT's won this round by demoralizing me, and making short work of the rest of my poor team rather quickly.
The next round, I decided to follow my team again, despite the crappy results of this tactic in the last couple rounds. I followed a guy to a long hallway with a handful of CT's at the end. My partner got wasted in .2 seconds, but I decided to pop out and spray at them while they were reloading and try to get lucky. I landed a headshot on one guy, and I decided to try the same tactic again only to get turned into a piece of leaky meat by combined AUG, MP5, colt, and grenade fire. Of course the grenade had to actually kill me, so thats the second time that I have been naded in 2 rounds. GO ME.
I decided that this next round would be my last, so I loaded up with an AK, and some kevlar. I went back to that long hallway and my teammate and I mowed down 3 CT's that were there, with me bagging one and my partner getting two. I did all the work, he just mopped up like a whore. We continued on, and I stopped to see that there was only one CT left. I figured that if he was smart, he would be going after the hostages, so I started to make my way to the room where the hostages were. I saw the lone CT through a doorway with the hostages in tow, and I cut him down before he even saw me.
We won the round because of that, and I decided to quit while I was ahead, and so ended my sunday afternoon of counter-strike.
Lessons Learned:
1. Sig 550 sucks shit (like you didn't already know).
2. Dying to grenades isn't fun.
3. Battlereporting is damn hard.
Thanks for reading this, and any comments are appreciated.
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