"My troops were fighting the lurkers like endersshadow makes wall-ins. Not very well at all."
- ZerG~LinG's The Good Die Young
|
| The Tale of Two Newbies | | | Author: | | | IP: | spider-tXXXX | | Date: | 02/28/01 07:02 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 5, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for ()xygen: 5.0000 |  | The scene: I’m in my friends dorm room during the two hour period I have between classes on Monday afternoon, bored as hell.
The situation: I’ve played just a little too much starcraft for my own good over the last few days, I’m in one of those stages where I’m a bit sick of it, and I decide to do something a little fun/nasty/some what diff from the normal 1v1 temple: Baxtab!
Alright, I know what most of you are thinking: 1.baxtabbing is pretty gay, it doesn’t really help anyone’s game, and man, you gotta be one sadistic freak to victimize those poor little newbies. 2. Been there, done that, it gets old real fast.
Well, since I can be one sadistic freak when I get really bored, I decided to put my baxtabbing skills to the test once and for all. I had to expose the ultimate newbinish, I had to probe the depths of battle.net stupidity, I had to infect the minds of a couple comp killers like no one had ever done before!
Well, it wasn’t that serious, I just had to burn an hour and a half and provide as much entertainment for my two buddies as I possibly could.
Ok, I will now reveal my revolutionary newbie killer strat (a lot of these ideas came from the guys at www.ICANTLOSE.com, I added a lot of new things to them though. Thanks to all you baxtabbing pioneers, Thesparky, etc.)
The “strategy” I would be using: 7v1? 3v1? Not exactly. Here’s the plan: I make a game 3v1 compstomp! and let the newbs roll in. I’m a little intimidated by all of the 20 something and 0 records I am seeing, but I don’t let it get to me. Anything for the mission. The map is the little known gem The Lost Temple and I’m joined by
-=pinkpanther=-, standing at 23-2, and soon after by none other than the highly regarded comp killer himself, xp23, sporting a whopping 7-3 record.
I ask if they have ever played this map before. They both say they have not and panther asks if it is like BGH. I reply “YES” and start the game. Panther asks me if I made the map as the counter clicks down. Once we get in the game I tell him I made the map last night. He says “cool”
Here’s where the fun starts. At 1 second till launch I change the computer slot to open, leaving me to exercise my cruel and savage will on my two new friends without hindrance. Luckily for me and my audience in the dorm room, panth and xp didn’t seem to notice and soon ally vision me. Panther gets purple zerg at 12 and XP gets teal terran at 3, while I have warped in a nexus at 9. Apparently they are oblivious to the fact that I removed the comp. Let the festivities begin.
I hit enter and type “has left the game” and then send. I have found that this rarely works, but in this case it seems to have because panther quickly lets out a gruesome insult.
Panther: prick
XP: me?
Panther: no the other on
Panther: he just left
I take a mental note of his first comment and continue to build, which brings me to an important part of any BR, the build orders! Since both my cohorts/victims still have vision on, within a few minutes I am able to discern that Panther is going for the highly acclaimed gas, evo chamber, sunken, followed by a pool around 90, build. XP is slightly more gosu, with a rax, depot, depot, bunker, bunker, bunker strat, undoubtedly striking fear into the SC AI that really…..isn’t there. I go for DT’s with my pylon, gate, gas, core, pylon, citadel, gate, archives start.
I soon have two DTs, which I send off to the terran base, which has two of the bunkers up with assorted marines loading into them and the third bunker is under construction. All of panthers overlords are still in his base so in the unlikely chance that these two figure out what’s going on, I’ll be safe from detection for a little bit. My cute, warmhearted units run up the ramp, one goes to the min line and the other starts hacking away at the bunkers. XP notices quickly and warns us all of the impending danger.
XP: help
XP: dark templar in my base
Panther: shit
Panther: come to me
()xygen: lift off
That’s right folks, I simultaneously revealed I was still in the game AND gave XP some info he needed to survive for just a bit longer. Just as he lifted his CC only and flew it to the 12 natural, I received fresh inquiries from my zerg friend.
Panther: I thought you left
()xygen: no the comp allied with me
()xygen: in 1.08 I guess you can ally with comps
()xygen: can you see me?
Panther: no
XP was a little busy relocating his base and watching all those bunkers burn to the ground, so he stayed out of the conversation. While all this was going down I had expanded to my natural and had about a dozen DTs. In anticipation of some funny little tactics I added a forge to my repertory of buildings…….
Panther: you can’t ally with the comp
()xygen: I didn’t know but I guess you can
()xygen: I could see the DTs it sent to teals base
Panther: it said you left
()xygen: ?
Panther: ally with us not the comp
()xygen: how do I do that?
Panther: diplomacy
Panther: the hands
All of the buildings at XPs start had been destroyed at this point so I hastily retreated the DTs back to my choke. I had around 6 goons and 14 or so DT at this point. XP checked in with 3 scvs and the intrepid zerg user had 6 hydralisks, having added a den and two more sunken colonies. The crowd in the dorm room had swelled to 4 as two of my other friends were now privy to my evil ways. I gleefully planned my next “attack”. At this point XP chimed in asking something about where the comp was. I didn’t pay much attention to this however, trying to get my expansion running and turning on ally vision and allying with both of them.
It was then that Panther came up with a brilliant idea to see if I was allied with them now, as I had promised all allegiance to the computer to be a regretted mistake. He had to check and make sure, however, so soon after XP started his first barracks I see a solitary drone heading my way. It runs right up to my units and just sits in front of them. Panther goes on to proclaim that I must be allied because his drone is not automatically attacking me. I was overjoyed to know that I had his approval.
He sent his drone back towards his base, and I followed with a peon of my own. With this I built a pylon and a half dozen cannons around the newly renovated command center of teal. This aroused some doubt as to my true intentions.
XP: what are you doing?
()xygen: I’m building defense for you
()xygen: from the comp
XP: oh sweet
He apparently reversed his thinking very quickly because not seconds later more inquiries started flying across my screen.
XP: your not backstabbing are you?
Oh no. The “B” word. What was I to do? He was on to me. I was finished. They had discovered my evil plan. I had to think fast to get my way out of this one. After all, I had serious inhibitions about sending my force of 10 odd goons, 5 or so zealots, 20 or so DT and 6 templar against the COMBINED force of 15 hydras and 10 SCVs.
()xygen: what’s backstabbing?
No response for about 30 seconds
()xygen: no im not backstabbing
()xygen: are you? Only backstabbers refuse defense (by the way, that one is straight from the boys at icantlose)
XP: no im not
Well, that was good to know. To protect my friend a little more I added a half dozen more cannons and asked him to do me a little favor.
()xygen: lift you command center for a sec
He obliged immediately. I responded to this by building a cannon under the CC, prompting more questions.
XP: how can I mine?
()xygen: oh sorry
()xygen: let me move the cannon
He seemed to be content with this, so I turned my attention to the zergie, who in light of recent events appeared to have stopped production all together. I built a pylon on the edge of his creep, followed by cannons, more pylons, and more cannons. The group in the dorm room, which was now around 7, encouraged me to “keep building, keep building!” To my amusement, about 6 of Panthers hydralisks followed my intruding probe wherever he went. They did nothing but stare at the little guy, as if they were fascinated with the warp mechanism he was employing or something. Well, lucky for me, that probe was trained to work well under pressure and my cannon total in the two bases now numbered about 30.
()xygen: do you guys know where the comp is yet?
I didn’t get a response and my friends were itching to see me actually unally, so I did. Heaven forgive me, I did. XP23’s command center erupted in a blaze of glory and sadly he didn’t even get to voice any final insults. Only half of panthers base and all of his units went down because that annoying creep had forced me to keep my distance. I suddenly discovered that the man I had spent the last 15 minutes with actually had a very dirty mouth. I was appalled. But I guess if that had happened to me…. I suddenly feared that he might just leave so I quickly intervened:
()xygen: ally
Panther: ok
()xygen: you have to promise me one thing
Panther: ?
()xygen: please stop playing newb comp kill games and do yourself a favor
()xygen: play real games on real maps k?
Panther: ok
Panther: I promise
With that I didn’t feel quite as sadistic as I had a few moments before, and I left.
Post game thoughts
-don’t play against the computer
-get detection
-no matter how tempted you are, just say “no” if someone asks you to lift your command center.
-Never, and I mean never, trust someone who claims their will is being manipulated my their unwanted computer ally
-smile, because this game is fun (most of the time)
NO NEWBIES WERE ACTUALLY HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS BR
Feel free to share any thoughts or baxtab strats in the comments section. Thx again to icantlose team, ()xy
|
|
|
|
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
