I wrote down YourRoleModel�s advice of "If you lose all your buildings and units you�ll lose on a 3"x5" notecard that I take out and read before every game."
-AQD3
|
| The stupidest BR ever...Dreamcast quake 3!!! With text art illistrations!! | | | Author: | | | IP: | ci898345XXXX | | Date: | 12/16/00 11:12 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 7, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for Lunatikk: 6.5000 |   | Ah welcome to the stupidest Battle report ever. Why bother you ask? I just like seeing the my name on websites, and I want to show off my MAD MAD HTML SKILLZ. Makes me feel like I am special...not like that Hitler jerk.....anyway, Quake 3 on DC is by no means a bad game. It's quite nice for people who lack a powerful PC, or just don't like the hassle of PC games. People like myself. Now then on to the beggining of the beggining of the report.
Well since this is DC quake 3 this means no more than 4 players....3 since I am just an obs.and once again since it is on DC, no screen shots. But I will try to recreate the action as best as I can with words, and little text drawings, which is more than Hitler ever did. EXCITING!! And for you quake-threely-challenged people I will even try to explain things to you (be warned all explanations are in regard to the DC version of the game, may be void to nazis).
Map: Longest Yard
It's medium sized wide open map in space, with lots of Jump pads, and a little island off to the side that is great for sniping. It's extremely popular...the "Lost Temple of Quake 3" if you will.
Chapter 1: The beggining (because Chapters are cool, not like those Nazi bastards......)
I join the game seeing a Lone player there MetalSonic, he isn't doing anything, just sitting there. He has stocked up on weapons just waiting for some one to fight. Since I am just a lonely observer he can't fight me. I'm nothing but an invisible floating head. But soon enough some one else Joins redneck. Oooh trouble's a brewin. Here I will draw trouble brewing
*>>> ??/?
&&<^> (oo)<^> <-----trouble brewing ------> **&%%
CHAPTER 2: Redneck gets the railgun
Redneck Stars off by grabbing some armor and using a jump ramp to leap over to sniper Isle, and grabs the rail gun (Rail gun is UBER strong but requires a ton of precision to use, seeing as how it fires once then takes several seconds to recharge).
CHPTER 3: The chapter without an "A"
Redneck now sits over on his perch and uses the rail gun to snipe at Metal Sonic, and does so with quite a bit of success. He gets 2 kills on Sonic before sonic makes his way to the platform in the sky and gets the Quad Damage powerup (it makes your attacks do 4 times the damage, I bet Hitler wishes he had been searching for quad damage, instead of that stupid Holy Grail), and starts raining down flaming quad rockets of death. However Redneck uses skill dodging the rockets while firing back with his Rail gun, but Metal Sonic runs right at his opponent using the Jump ramp to get to the little island. Metal Sonic Fires rockets of death at his foe, blowing him to bits much like Hitler did to his own brain. Sonic flies back to the main land and as soon as Redneck respawns he gets incenerated again, the score is tied at 2. But what's this?? Could it be? Another chapter??
Chapter 4: This will only take a second, then it's back to the action
DJ cyro joins the fight!!!
Now we return to.... CHPTER 3: The chapter without an "A", now with more DJ!
DJ cyro and the others duke it out mostly with Rocket launchers, allow me to make a more visual image.
X *****> <----rocket 0 K <----- people
^
^ Hitler--------> :<( %%%%%@ <------Hitler's third Reich
^
^DJ Cyro
DJ Cyro takes the lead after using Quad damage and rocket launchers to blow away the opposition, with style. Then DJ tries to play sniper on his little island with the Rail gun, but **PLOT TWIST COMING UP** He get's Sniped by Redneck who is all the way across the map!! Both of these players are showing alot of skill with their aiming abilities. Redneck then takes sniper island for himself, but before he can snipe DJ. DJ manages to use jump pads to get the the big island in the sky, and the quad damage power up. DJ Then lights up Sniper island with rocket after rocket killing his would be assasin, kinda like the serbian assasin who killed Austrian Archduke Francis Ferdinand and his wife, which set off world war 1. Redneck takes a moment to blame his death on the lag, which the lag seemed fine to me. Winstin Churchhill himself would've agreed with me that the lag wasn't too bad. Metal Sonic was really out of his league in this fight and he must have realized it, seeing as how he just.....
Chapter 5: The continuation of a sentence, and beyond!
Ran like a little girl. Here I will illistrate
There goes Sonic -----------------------------------------------------------------------> 0
So now it was Just DJ Cyro and Redneck in a 1 on 1 battle royal. Who would win? Would Kaiser Whilhelm turn out to be Mr. T in disguise???? Would Mr. T right the wrongs of world War 2?? Well we will find out.........But first back to the fight. As rockets flew across the Arena the battle stayed close. "You are tied for the lead" and "you have lost the lead" were heard time and time again, echoing through the vastness of the longest yard.
"5 minutes remaining"
The alarm was sounded. The ruler of the univers would be decided in 5 short minutes..but that had nothing to do with Quake 3, it was just a coincedence that the match would end at the same time the ruler of the universe was decided. DJ sticks to trying to hold onto the Quad Damage powerup, with rocket launcher, while Redneck tries to keep his distance and snipe. Eventually the 2 warriors meet up in the center of the map, where a jump pad will take 1 of them to the Quad Damage power up, and another will face a horrible death. Rockets fly, as do bodies, and hideously deformed pigs, but in the end DJ wins that battle, but opts to go get health and armor instead of the powerup. Here's another pic
w(8)>> <----kitten with a beard
The time draws near, DJ is in the lead by 1 point and there are only 2 or 3 minutes left. Redneck respawns and since DJ Didn't get the quad Damage, Redneck Does. "ONE MINUTE REMAINING" the voice alerted everyone. The Quad Damage would be DJ's downfall. With Quad damage, a rocket launcher and a bit of luck redneck took a 2 point lead, but then a few seconds later fell down too far killing himself giving only a 1 point lead. But it didn't matter, there was no time left.
Chapter 8: The conclusion
Redneck Came out on top winning the fight (11 kills, to 10), and Hitler lost the war.
Chapter 7: Lessons learned
I can make anything interesting
World War 2 is one of those things we can all look back on and laugh. Hahahaha, so many people dead....yeah good times.
If DJ had gotten there just a minute earlier he might have won. Redneck had 2 points when he joined.
I apparently only know 3 HTML commands...wait no, I know 4 commands. MY MAD MAD HTML SKILLZ 0WN J00
This has been a Dreamcast Quake 3 battle report (the first ever may I point out) by Lunatikk
Z>ß <-------Lunatikk |
|
|
|
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
