"Par-a-sites... are watching you....watching your every-move"
-YourRoleModel
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| The World's Dumbe...err Finest. Yeah. | | | Author: | | | IP: | 184.norfXXXX | | Date: | 11/21/00 05:11 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 6, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for ~Psi-Channeler~: 4.6667 |  |
Ever get so tired of a current game that your playing, you just have to
revert to a classic? Or maybe a games sequal really blows alot of ass, and
you need to play the old one to forget that the sequal was so damn crappy?
Well, myself and a friend found ourselves thinking this just Saturday night.
Brood War was getting dull, especially since he's so damn elitist towards my
lack of skill at the game. I couldn't stand Diablo II, so we didn't go
there. WarCraft II was too involved for our tiny minds to relearn. So now I
bring you a tale from that night, where we
went back oh-so-many months to when we were still playing...
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The Players:
-=XaViOuS=- aka -=EA=-Paladin -Black Sorcerer
~Psi-Channeler~ aka ~Psi-Channeler~ -White Rogue
The map:
"Map??"
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Most of this is actual conversation that occured on the night of November
18, 2000. I added some things to add length(admittedly), but it should be
95% actual. Unless something changes between here and the end of this
"Battle Report," in which case you will be unnotified. If you discover that
it is the slightest point off, hired thugs will beat you up and steal all
your antiques and other valuables. In the likely event that you out-smart
these thungs, I'll tie you in a chair as Martha Stuart gives you a fashion
lesson in your own home and riddicules everything
you own. In the highly unlikely event that you resist her, well by God your
off the hook.
In my own words,
Let's Rock.
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"Xav / Xav"
"Kk"
(Uploading game data: est. time .03 seconds)
~Psi-Channeler~(Level 1) Has
joined the game
"You down yot?"
"No. Hurry up let's go."
"Kk coming."
(Enter Labrynth level I)
"Ladedadeda"
"God this is easy."
"No shit man your level 7 already and on level I. Think about this one..."
(Silence)
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Diablo I is a game that never fails to amuse me. The random level designs,
monster types, etc. keep the game alive. Never has a RPG hit Diablo's
caliber. Something
about the game keeps me coming back to it eventually.
The rogue was my type of character. Underused by everyone else because
they're too lazy to play smart, ranged, can take down whatever she wants
with no problem, and can whip the other two classes asses. The rogue doesnt
really need armor for a long time and can simply concentrate on power. The
rogue was the character that I played when I got addicted to Diablo two
years ago.
Graphics you say? I say screw 'em. I'd rather have a good game than good
graphics, unless of course it was so bad the game looked pixelated, and
pixelized games hurt my eyes. Gameplay is the only thing that really matters
to me, so long as the sound isnt annoying the controls are decent and the
graphics can be as good or bad as they want it doesn't matter to me.
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(Level II)
"Damn unique"
"It's just a zombie...got him."
"What he drop?"
"Gay cloak."
"=( Butcher or down?"
"Down"
(Enter Level III)
"Jeez don't go infront of me your so slow =P "
"Hmph."
"Wait wait."
"What?"
"TP?""
"Nope"
"Damn I dont have any potions"
"Lets go kill some guys for a scroll or something."
"Ok"
*A moment later*
"FUCK!!"
"What?"
"Leoric! Run! Close that door"
"Kk hurry run qwik."
"Fuck. Dumb Leo can open them... Leo or Down?"
"Let's try going down"
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By this time, I had about caught up to his level. We were both starting to
do OK, and he had managed to sell a piece of jewelry I wanted for a Book of
Lightning(Dammit man I needed that!).
Diablo was a landmark in RPGs. It didn't have a great storyline, but it was
fun mindlessly killing shit and not being forcred into doing something for
the townspeople.
Having the freedom to go and do whatever without having to really get
involved with the storyline or NPCs. Just ran around killing for goodies.
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"Ah ha! TP Scroll!"
"Yes! Up before we go to 4?"
"Ok."
(Ea casts the TP, and we find
ourselves in town)
"Any items?"
"Hunter's Bow on me."
"Yes!! Gimme!"
"Here."
"Thanks."
(Ea takes his TP back down)
"Idiot that was the Town Portal."
"Oops"
"Got another?"
"Nope."
"Ok screw me over more plz thx gw."
"Oh shut up and start walking down here."
"Fine."
*Moment later, as I walk to the fourth floor*
*Horrendous scream*
"Damn."
"Die?"
"Yeah"
"Fucking communists."
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Communism. Wonder when an Economic System turned insult, eh?
Communism is basically the system of equality. Your neighbors dog is your
dog. Your shoe is your neighbors shoe. Your job as a hard-working executive
pays as well
as your neighbors job as a Janitor that works Friday Nights cleaning the
bathrooms there. Your neighbors high taxes are your high taxes. Equality
governed by a bunch of people who are said to be better than you. Hullo,
Logic.
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"Tp?"
"Actually I had res, but you started back in town before it was clear =/ "
"O..."
"Get your items."
*****************
"Holy fuck!!!"
"Gotta be 50 fucking archers in that room"
"Holy mother of..."
"Fucking man destroy the barrel and let the melee units in. Screw me over
more plz thx gw"
"Now I cant even set up a shot now or melees come in and rape me. Gj man."
"God."
"What?"
"You whine alot."
"And.....?"
"It's annoying"
"Ooh that!"
"Going up for potions."
"Kk. Gonna try and kill the fucks"
"And thanks to your ingenious work on destroying that barrel they've moved
closer to the door. Holy fuck."
"Shut up."
"Coming up for potions."
"Coming down."
***************
"Got them."
"That was fast."
"=DD"
"Arg good job on clearing it out."
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-=EA=-Paladin and myself(
color="gold">~Psi-Channeler~ for those of you so
bored you forgot my name) had first played sometime during March this year
if I recall. We conflict so much in this game that it isn't funny. "That was
so my item" "What the fuck do you need a book for your a fucking warrior?!"
Amazing we managed to actually enjoy each other. Eventually we played
StarCraft together and after several attempts to belp my sad mess of a game
we started playing alot of UMSes.
We played Diablo II a few weeks after it got out, until I realized that it
was hella boring and repetative, in which event we went back to SC/BW.
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Sunday, November 19, 2000:
"Hey man"
"Hey"
"Xav / Xav"
"Kk"
"Holy fuck man Level 17!?"
" =DDD I can do the caves by myself and got a ton of tight spells!"
"Bleh TP me."
"Dont have one. Walk your lazy ass over here to the enterance."
"It takes more than level 9 to get through the enterance."
"Well then bring a Town Portal Scroll to the enterance so I can get it and
make a TP"
"Ok."
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Sorcerers are the epitomy of imbalance. 4 spells on the ol' hotkeys and your
good for a stroll through the Hell levels on Hell Difficulty. People choose
Sorcerers and
Warriors because the Warrior is for people with simple minds, common on
Battle.Net, and Sorcerers for the lazy asses who probably also don't bother
to Micro in
StarCraft.
The rogue is the best character. Well-rounded, ranged, and accurate.
Accuracy. Precision. Skill. All synonyms used in Diablo on Items. Funny, no?
=P Silly Blizzard.
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"Psi, I bet you die about 50
times =P"
"Eh?"
"Holy shit...Must be a special"
"Ahhh fuck just died to one monster!!"
"Hehehaha I was almost there to help too!! No ressurect scrolls."
"Bleh. Then I'll restart Diablo so I get some sound...was playing MP3s when
I started it and now I have no sound =/ "
"Wait wait."
"What?"
"I gotta go"
"Ok. Cya man."
"Later."
-=XaViOuS=- Has left the game.
Note: I can't really say that I care how
this is rated, what it gets, or what the majority of people think. I wrote
it for my own enjoyment
and in hopes that I could amuse someone else while I was at it. I also wrote
it to convey some sort of message, but I forgot it so take it at what it is
to you. A one is fune,
a 10, well, a ten would be cool, but it doesnt matter to me either way. I
could easily see how on one hand you could hate this worthless piece of
trash, but another person
might (Long shot here)really enjoy it.
To me, the message I think I was going for was that nothing good ever dies
off, and that a friendship, even over Battle.Net alone, can be something
very unique and,
depending on the person, special in its own little world and way. Of course,
it's highly unlikely you'll ever meet IRL with anyone you've met on
Battle.Net, but it's always fun to "See" them. I'm sure no one here is
astranged to that feeling, being happy to see someone you enjoy playing and
talking with on B.Net or another online service.
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