"ProtectorofAiur: Can I still see your boobs?"
-Drefsab
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| Pop Quiz Hot Shot | | | Author: | | | IP: | gateway.XXXX | | Date: | 10/18/00 08:10 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 7, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for Monty Pylon: 6.0390 |   | Pop Quiz Hot Shot
The channels of Battle.net echoed with the chatter of many faithful Brood Wars players. The screen flashes with offers from clans and hey look….newbie smack. I filter through the conversasion to find the diamond in the ruff. A challenge in a sea of dribble. I want to report a game but I find it difficult to find a decent looking match up. I scan down the list and see row after row of BGH, $$$BGH$$$, Desert BGH..etc…etc…etc…Blue Souel….etc. I am just about to abandond hope when I see the three magic letters..FFA. This is a rare find in Starcraft-usa and I select it hoping that the host did not abandon ship. With luck the host, T-BYRD and fellow player _+_Raven_+_
or Raven for all purposes waiting diligently. I ask to BR this game and T-Byrd is more than happy to oblige. Raven on the other hand requires a deep explanation into what a BR is. I explain the wonder that is the BR to my fine feathered friend and he acknowleges with "OH". Clearly this Raven is a deep and profound thinker. The game begins as the combatants desend upon The Lost Temple.
Both players had randomed with T-Byrd warping a Nexus at three and Raven morphing a hatchery at six. My center landed at nine. Players begin peon production as my center floats of to the south and my scv's turn on each other in a frenzy of laser cutters.
Raven begins with an ovie at eight and a pool on nine. T-Byrd warps in a pylon followed by a gate and an assimilator. The gamble of fast gas leaves a lone zealot to guard the ramp. Meanwhile, Raven has expanded to his natural. Three sunkens are placed at the natural with no sunkens at the main. Six lings are hatched at head for the three main. (Note that Raven had already sent an ovie clockwise and had scouted the nine and twelve main. A lone probe sent by T-Byrd had passed the lings on its way to the six main and relayed its warnings to the protoss commander. Zealot production began but the rienforcments would not arrive in time to support the two lone zealots at the ramp. Two probes were summoned from mining and were ordered to join the warriors in battle.
The zerg gathered around the ramp entrence and huddle to discuss the game plan. Together they charged forward and headed onward towards victory. Needless to say their bug asses got owned. The one two punch of zealots and probes were to much for the slimey bastards and the ground was soaked with the blood of the zerg. Not a probe was lost and the victorious protoss were joined by others from Aiur and together they charged forward.
The group of five zealots headed to the south were a brave probe sacraficed itself to relay the zerg position. Raven expected a counter attack and hastily morphed two more sunkens and another twelve lings. The protoss charged bravly but soon ran like hell at the sight of lings and sunkens. Brave and noble my ass. The protoss returned to their ramp as both players prepared to climb the tech tree.
T-Byrd warped in a forge and constructed a pylon and three cannons at his choke. He warped a nexus at his natural and warped in a cy. Core and began production on a citadel of adun and a robotics facility. Raven morphed in two more hatcheries, one at his ramp and one more at his natural, bringing his total to four. He got a den, a chamber and began to morph a lair. T-Byrd began to mass goons and set out to do bad things with about ten of the spider walkers. Raven had his own plans and had twelve hydras head towards the protoss encampments. By sheer luck the two forces missed each other. T-Byrd had gone around the temple and Raven had gone through it. Both forces arrived at each others bases at about the same time.
T-Byrd attacked the nearest sunkens and microed to attack a few lings that had been left for defense. Raven's attack was shut down as his hydras decided to river dance infront of the cannon wall. Before Raven could restore order half of his troops were lost. Meanwhile the goons had managed to kill seven lings and three oiut of six sunkens. If they had the range upgrade they could have killed a lot more troops. Sadly the goons came up short and killed one more sunken before being dispatched. Another break and another tech climb soon followed.
Raven switched gears and morphed a spire and a nest. As soon as his queens nest completed he morphed a hive. It would appear that cracklings and mutalisks were the order of the day. Back in Protoss country, T-Byrd had warped in an archive, support bay and an observatory. He now had three gates and used one for temps, one for dt's and one for goons. He researched storm and mind control and began reaver upgrades.
Raven decided to expand as soon as he had about eight mutas. He headed to the three main and set up shop. An observer had seen the dasrtadly expansion and a newly formed dark Archon was loaded into a shuttle. A second shuttle was loaded with a reaver and a templar. The killing crew moved out and approached the expansion from the south. The archon was moved close to the peon line as the templar and reaver moved in for the kill. A well placed storm killed four of the eight mutas and a scarab tore into the revealed cracklings below the creep. The remaining mutas and cracklings swarmed their enemy and soon the poor units were engulfed. A victorious Raven celebrated and mocked his opponent with keanu reeves like slander.
Title will make sense in 5…4…3…2…1..
To All:Pop quiz hot shot…mutas are killing your reaver what do you do?
Little did our Speed slanderous friend know that a drone had been convinced to join the protoss. It was shuttled away to the north to start a new glorious brood for the glory of the protoss.
Meanwhile my lone scv sings the SCV SONG out of pure boredom and lonliness. A nearby ling hears this and immeadiatly decideds to put the man out of his misery.
The game progresses with little or no major battle for about fifteen minutes. T-Byrd lunches a few suicide attemps agaist his zerg foe using goons and templar. Raven responds with muta raids and slowly chips away at T-Byrds defenses. Raven continues his antagonising after each assault.
To All:Pop quiz hot shot, mutas are tear you a new asshole what do you do
" ,"Mutas just took down your goon army what do you do
" ,'I just shut down your weak ass offensive what do you…
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
I was beginning to tire of Ravens mouth but I new something that he didn't.
Raven had massed a large fleet of three control groups of mutas. He massed them to the south of the protoss main and was ready to finish T-Byrd. When he was all ready to go he typed one more ominous message that went something like this…
To All:Pop quiz hot shot, mutas are coming to kill you what do you aaaaaaa
My that was strange. My theory behind the a's is a sound one so hear me out. Raven was suddenly attacked but mass scourge from T-Byrd's forces. He tried to attack using the hotkeys but couldn't do to message. Sadly all of the mutas were killed without a single protoss firing a shot.
Soon the Raven zerg were being attacked from every direction. His two budding expansions at the three main were crushed by mutas and lurkers. Another force of scourge and mutas flew over the zerg main, popping ovies and killing the massed cracklings. The zerg were soon overrun by zerg and Raven was forced to surrender. Befroe he did T-Byrd had a few departing words.
To All:Pop quiz asshole, I just snuffed you what do you do?
Raven has left the game
THE END
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