Oh, almost forgot... I have 2 Animated .gif pictures here, so plz be patient while they load, I kept the other pictures size down to a minimum to compensate, but this is my biggest battlereport (In terms of size) so far. Thanks.

It all started one day in ~nohunters. I was watching a series of Bill-The-Probe games, all of which ended in his victory by whoring goons. I was going to battlereport the next game, but he let BlackishRed Create, and the thing filled up faster than you can say "wtf!". It was supposed to be Bill-the-Probe vs Ain_Soph, But apparently Ain couldn't join in time either. So, he started it and ended up playing a battlereported 1v1 without an opponent or a reporter. Oh well, wierder things have happened. Since I got "in the mood" for reporting, I joined the next 1v1 game: One without Dragoon Whoring.

^Bold^

MAP:

THE PLAYERS:

^Bold^s Purple Zerg(on the six O'clock) against Edge-Crusher's Orange Terran.(On the three o'clock)

Both chose random, with no switches at 3 seconds left at the countdown. ^Bold^ sends his Overlord to the vacant 9 o'Clock expansion, and pumps out Drones, Drones and more Drones. Edge walls-in with a Supply Depot, followed by a Barracks and another Depot. ^Bold^ then follows up his Drones with a second Hatchery in his main, a Spawning Pool and later an Extractor. At about the same time Edge Crusher sets down a Refinery. No players seem to be in a hurry to rush.

Marines are soon out of the sole barracks, and Zerglings with more Drones are being made from the two Hatcheries. ^Bold^ Expands to his Natural, as Edge lays down another Barracks and a Factory, side by side.

Edge is now hinting his strategy, as he lays down an Academy, another Barracks and a Starport. One word comes to mind: Mass-Marines. Wait, is that two words? Yes, two words come to mind. Edge has about 5 Marines or so behind his wall in, and Bold has about say... 8 Zerglings scattered around his natural. This is when the scouts finally find the enemy. ^Bold^ has sent his Zergling up to the 3 o'clock, and it runs right past the stimmed out Marines and wall in unhurt. Instead of scoping out the center of the base where he would discover Edge's plan, he runs right back to the wall in and is made into fertilizer.

Edge sends his SCV that was walled out of the base to the 12 o'clock and 9 o'clock, finding nothing. Little after Zergling blood was spilt on the 3 o'clock main did the SCV charge into the 6 o'clock main with five very hungry and pissed off Zerglings after him. The SCV gets all the way to see the newly morphing lair before it is finally eaten up and becomes part of the creep.

After the SCV is finally dispatched, Bold's Lair comes out of its cocoon and a Spire is morphed. At this time, Edge has set up yet another Barracks, and is starting on a Science Facility. A single Tank is made out of the Factory and the Starport is glowing with activity.

Edge is teching like a whore and places an Engineering Bay down, another Barracks and a Science Facility. Bold seems quite content to stay in his base and build up. A Hydralisk Den is ordered, and Bold begins to make Mutalisks, because Bold is a moron, or he knows some magical way how Mutas>Medarines.

Edge's Starport soon produces a Dropship. The Tank, two Marines and an SCV are sucked up into the hull and it leaves in a hurry to the cliff above Bold's natural. For those of you who haven't placed two and two together yet, stop reading this report now, just gawk at the pictures because that's all your feeble mind can handle. Edge places the troops in the southern part of the map to hide from any Overlords, but Bold's spotting overlord above Edge's natural has already foiled this when it sees the Dropship begin its trip south. No sooner do the offloading troops touch the ground when a mighty two Marines run into a single Mutalisk. The Mutalisk takes out one of the Marines before retreating back. Hoping it the only Mutalisk in Bold's arsenal, a Bunker is set up and more troops are airlifted. The Dropship gets about ten feet out of the base before Bold's welcoming party arrives...

Sorry to say, Edge's surviving Marine wasn't enough to stop an entire control group of Bold's Mutalisks, and the Dropship en route makes a 180 and turns back home. Sencing that Bold might have gone only Mutalisks, around 12 Marines with Medic support are ordered down from their safety, and the Barracks walling the place in is lifted off to join its brother and sister Barracks further back.

By this time Edge has a Science Vessel out and about, and sends it along with the strike for detection and irradiate support. Bold has made a bold move and placed a Zergling to alert him of such attacks, and when it is quickly turned into a fine red paste he rallies his troops for the oncoming attack. With around 3 control groups of Zerglings and one of Mutalisks, Bold has an obvious advantage. He sends 2 control groupds of Zerglings to the left of his Mineral Only, where a Hatchery is currently morphing. Edge's Marines emerge from the depths of the jungle in their battle formation, with Medics around the perimter and Marines in the center ready to stim on command. However, not even all of this can prevent what follows. . . .

Bold kept his control group of Mutalisks and another of Zerglings at his natural, and when the battle was over, the mini map crawled alive as a big purple blob probed its way towards the much smaller orange group. Edge's Barracks light up the base with activity as more and more Marines are frantically ordered.

Everything but Bold's drones were thrown to the attack. Just centimeters from Edge's base and victory, mutalisks and zerglings alike stare at the two supply depots that stand between purple and his victory. Then, abruptly, the Mutalisks make a U turn and head in the other direction. The Zerglings, as if blinded by the Supply Depots' bueaty, turn their Zergling tails and run like the wind. The Purple blob on the map pauses for a second that seems to last forever, and then it retrogresses back to where it came from just as fast as it came. The Supply Depots will forever celebrate this act of mercy, and continue twirl around gleefully in a way only Supply Depots can.

Now, for you alert readers out there, please continue with this report. For those of you (like me) that haven't caught on yet as to "what the hell is ^Bold^ thinking!?", please scool up to the last mini map, and look carefully. Thank you.

Yes, thats right folks, Edge's Dropship of the unsuccessful turbo newbie strikes again, this time yelling "to hell with the tanks!" as it procedes to drop a platoon of Medarines right on top of Bold's unsuspecting Drones. Much to Bold's horror, the Drones are almost completely undefended and somehow mysteriously explode like they were filled with propane. Me, still pondering as to what drug Bold must be on, still haven't caught on yet. However, when I did see the mysterious orange tumor I did get a fine picture of the damage done:

Edge's unexpected blow left Bold without a Spawning Pool or Spire, and the after this no Drones are seen gathering for about 4 minutes. Although the damage to the drones was damaging, the loss of the structures crippled Bold. While they were rebuilt, Bold made Hydralisks and later upgrated to Lurkers. Edge has rapidly produced an army out of his four barracks and comes out with an absurd amount of marines. Bold meets the attack after Edge gets off the high ground, and the battle ensues for around 20 seconds, only stopping for me to empty out my screen shot directory.

Bold took a major blow in attacking here. His Zerglings didn't arrive on the scene until late, after the Mutalisks were eaten up. Lurkers were placed too far in the back to be of much use, and Edge simply lucked out. After placing down more Supply Depots and another Barracks, he is soon armed with around 20 Marines, five Science Vessels, a whopping one Medic, along with one weapon and armor upgrades. Edge decides he shouldn't go on the offensive just yet, a decision he won't regret.

Bold has finally realized that Edge just might be going massive Marines, and he takes off "Make Mutas" off of his To Do: list, and diverts all of his gas for Lurkers:

Bold learned from his mistakes of last battle, and charges with a dozen Lurkers and Zerglings. Edge's Marines open fire on Zerglings and the Lurkers have time to burrow. With 5 Vessels orbiting above his troops, Edge's Marines and Bold's Lurkers engage each other:

Bold's attack was basically his last stand. From his five Barracks and slow Marine build time, Edge could reinforce his lost troops quickly, and the two surviving Lurkers not affected by irradiate are easily killed. Edge's dropship strikes again, with another turbo newbie(This time with 3 Marines =]).

Bold's wise decision to not make Mutalisks betrays him, and his natural can no longer mine. He makes an expansion at the 9 O'Clock, but Edge's Troops arrive at the near nude Mineral only, and more troops are sent on the way.

With no income and facing enemy troops with nearly no base defence, Bold regretfully concedes, and GG's are exchanged at 17:03 into the game.

For those of you who care, The Scores:

Lessons Learned:

Thanks to ULead for making an easy animator, and to the players for putting on a good and brief game. Comments are appreciated.