"Never ‘REALLY’ piss me off."
-Heartcutter
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| The Art of War | | | Author: | | | IP: | user-105XXXX | | Date: | 08/21/00 02:08 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 9
Lifetime Rating for The.Confessor: 8.0426 |   |  They stared at each other from across the room, the look of hunger and yearning in their eyes unmistakable. They slowly began to move towards the bed in the center of the room, both taking their shirts off slowly. Finally they met in the middle and collapsed on the bed in a furious tangle of kisses and groping.
"Oh Probe…" sighed the one on bottom as he lost himself in the moment. "Oh Darkhawke!" moaned the other from on top, as they continued their bonding experience long into the night…
There, now that I have your attention, I feel the need to warn you that this BR has a fair amount of my gay ass pics. Due to the nature of the report, I could not carry out the load of bringing the game to you entirely on my own, thus I have enlisted various assistants who will be adding commentary throughout the battle report. Problem is, they make for even more gay pics, and the more gay pics I include, longer it takes to load, so why don’t you spend the next five minutes showering and burning your clothes, or whatever it takes to get the mental images from the above story out of your head. By the time you come back, you should be all set. Thank you and have a nice day.
Connecting to fastest battle.net server…
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Welcome to Battle.net! This server is hosted by Koreasiaodus. Currently there are 3023 users on in 24 chat rooms and 1209 games.
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/join Clan ~Nohunters
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channel clan ~nohunters does not exist
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The.Confessor: Hello, anyone here?
The.Confessor: Can anyone hear me?
The.Confessor: Should I go join a korean channel?
The.Confessor: HELLO?!??!
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You have been disconnected for flooding the channel, please try to relog at a later time.
It’s tough trying to find a game sometimes. But patience has always been a virtue that has paid off for me. So I struggled through endless channels, splits, z v z only games on temple… and eventually found Nohunters with some familiar faces in it.
So I played a few games, watched a few arguments and good old fashioned name calling. Then things quieted down, and I knew it was my job to keep things interesting in the channel. And I did it the only way I know how…
The.Confessor: NEED TWO PEOPLE TO PLAY FOR A BR PLZ THX GW!!! CHANNEL CONFESS GOGOGOGOGOGO :O
Party time!
THE PLAYERS:
randomed terran at 7:00
chose Protoss at 12:00
vs
randomed Zerg at 3:00
randomed Zerg at 6:00
THE MAP:Tribes
As seen abovem Tribes is an 8 player map with all starting points arranged in a circle surrounding the center. Various cliffs divide the bases, and an easy access mineral patch is located behind all the starts, though they can be attacked from the back. The map is conducive to most of the fighting occurring in the center portions of the map during the late game and mobile attack forces, such as lings, hydras and speed upgraded zealots.
And in the beginning…
The team of Mogalin and Activus! gear themselves for an early rush, going double barracks and double gate respectively. T_mac, noticing the proximity of his terran opponent decides to take him out early with a quick ling rush and follow up to lurkers. :necrosausage:! agrees to the plan, and informs T_mac his plans to grab his natural expansion behind his main and power from there.
 The first action of the game occurs when T_mac gathers up a group of 8 lings and heads to the back of Mogalin’s base. He succeeds in destroying a depot and generally harassing the scvs until finally Mogalin erects a bunker by his mineral line to discourage any other immediate attacks. Upon seeing the attack upon his partner, Activus! immediately gathers the large group of zealots he has massed and heads for the back of :necrosausage’s:! base, running into his early expansion attempt. The zealots take out the small number of drones and begin to work on the hatchery until :necrosausage:! throws his huge mass of lings at the zealots…
Following the sucessful attack, Activus! heads into the zerg main but reinforcing zerglings and sunken colonies drive off the invading zealots. Meanwhile, T_mac has finally gotten a group of lurkers ready and heads off to Mogalin’s base. Unfortunately, the lurkers run into a group of marines and due to some great micro by Mogalin, most of the lurks are destroyed before they even reach the base, leaving a bunker and turret ready to dispose of any left over forces.
Things heat up!
 While adding a cybernetics core, Activus! follows up his attack on :necrosausage:!, managing to destroy a spawning pool before wave after wave of lings overrun the zealots. Immediately following the protoss attack, :necrosausage:! adds a spire thanks to a lair started right before his pool was destroyed, and takes back his mineral expansion.
Wasting no time, Activus! orders an immediate double team on T_mac, and soon a large marine/medic and zealot force is gathered outside. Moments later, the force charges into T_mac’s main and begin to lay waste to everything in sight. Most of the drones are saved and sent to T_mac’s expansion. However, overlords and hydras begin pooping left and right until finally, 2 key lurkers pop out and burrow. After much marine and lurker dancing, the threat is repulsed, though at great cost.
 While T_mac struggles to rebuild his economy, he happens to have a devious counter in store for Mogalin. Loading up 2 lurks into an overlord, T_mac slow overlord drops them onto the cliff between his and Mogalin’s main. The lurksers burrow right behind Mogalin’s mineral patch and destroy a large amount of SCVs before Mogalin relocates to the center mineral patch and starts an expansion there.
 Meanwhile, T_mac elects to expand again, this time to the lower right. At the same time, Activus! attempts to follow up their double team with a small zealot force, which is successful in destroying a lair before Mogalin runs out of comstats and lurkers once again save T_mac.
Like a bat out of…
The players are becoming noticeably more desperate, as with the exception of Activus!, resources are becoming more and more scarce due to constant harassment. In what could be a game ending maneuver, Activus! once again calls for a double team on T_mac, this one of absolutely huge proportions. Just as they are about to charge in, a group of lings from T_mac runs into the force outside his main and immediately calls for help, which arrives in the form of a large muta/ling force from :necrosausage:!. By plucking away at smaller groups of marines and zealots, the mutas eventually force Activus! to call his attack on T_mac off. :necrosausage:! breathes a sigh of relief for his partner, which quickly becomes a gasp of horror as he realized Activus’! true intent. As the speed upgraded zealots and marines bust into :necrosausage’s:! main, a massive battle ensues in the middle of the zerg main, which is only repulsed thanks to wave after wave of speed lings from T_mac trapping the marines and zealots between the sunkens/mutas and his own zerglings…
 Though Mogalin is still struggling for resources, Activus! is in an extremely strong position, expanding multiple times to the upper left and having expanded his tech to templars. While :necrosausage:! continues to rebuild, Activus! attacks with what seems to be the measly force of an archon, a templar and 3 zealots. However, ever the master of efficiency, this small force succeeds in destroying an enormous quantity of zerg troops before hydras from T_mac finally drive the protoss off.
 Shortly there after, Mogalin leads a small marine and medic force to :necrosausage’s:! main, but along the way encounter a lings and lurker force from T_mac. The marines are easily disposed of, though manage to take down a good number of lurkers in the process. Moments later, another marine force is sent out, this time making it to :necrosausage:’s! main and destroys a few drones and lings before hydras from T_mac once again dispose of them.
Though not causing very much actual damage, Mogalin’s constant attacks have an increasing psychological effect on the zerg duo, prompting this exchange:
 Ironically, shortly thereafter a small hydra/ling force from T_mac runs into Mogalin’s relatively defenseless center expansion for the first time. With more reinforcements on the way, the terran expansion is destroyed in short order. Mogalin is forced to relocate to the upper left and begins a new main once again.
Desperate time call for…
 Unfortunately for T_mac, Mogalin had a substantial marine/medic force left over, and with undying tenacity charges into T_mac main. With most of his forces dealing with constant protoss threats, there is little T_mac can do as Mogalin succeeds in destroying all the drones and several overlords. Meanwhile, :necrosausage:! has teched up to hive level and several skirmishes between Dt/zealot bands and groups of cracklings occur periodically throughout the upper half of the map. Upon seeing his partner’s main come under attack, :necrosausage:! finally decides to attempt an attack at the heart of Activus’! main. However, the stream of crax run head into an extremely large zealot force and is easily disposed of.
 While the players continue to amass forces, T_mac sends a band of cracklings to roam the northwestern portion of the map, running into one of Activus’s! newly formed exopansions. The lings quickly take care of the nexus, and move on, as Activus! is left with only one mining base at the moment.
The zerg forces continue to apply pressure on Activus!, as mutas begins to harass any troops without anti air support which they happen upon. As :necrosausage:! adds a greater spire and stashes a muta force above one of the protoss expansions in preparation for a guardian force, a large hydra/ling force from T_mac happens upon Activus!’s main army. Eventually the superior number of protoss troops overwhelm the zerg forces, though T_mac uses the minerals in the area as a barrier to his hydras and placing lings at the entrances in a great display of micro, maximizing the effectiveness of his troops.
Now unbeknownst to everyone, including me, except for Mogalin, the terran happened upon :necrosausage’s:! guardian force waiting to take out Activus’s! expansion. having now reached science vessels and irradiate tech, Mogalin proceeds to irradiate to every single guardian to death, prompting a humorous exchange between :necrosausage:! and T_mac as they wondered in vain where the guardians disappeared to. Apparently at this point in the game they assumed Mogalin was dead and not coming back. Suffice to say they were quite surprised when a group of firebats and medics go on a drone hunting spree, severely limiting the economy of the zerg duo.
 Becoming increasingly annoyed at Mogalin’s antics, the zerg team makes it a point to seek him out and finish him off. Eventually they find his base and throw a decent hydra/ling force at it. Only though assisting zealots from Activus! and several irradated is Mogalin able to hold the zegr wave off, though he is forced to lift off several of his buildings in the process.
Left with very little combat troops, Mogalin decides his only choice is to once again take the offensive, aiming at the resource nodes of :necrosausage:!, once again limiting the zerg economy. Not disturbed by the continuing annoyance tactics of Mogalin, :necrosausage:! realizes that with Mogalin almost helpless and Activus! struggling for resources himself, one effective strike at the terran encampment good mean game. With this in mind they launch a substantially larger assault on Mogalin’s main. Although Activus! tries to assist where he can and Mogalin struggles to hang on, eventually the mass of zerg troops is too much. Mogalin concedes the game, and realizing he stand no chance without his partner, Activus! concedes as well.
After Thoughts
Yes to those of you wondering, the final stats are correct, the zerg team produced over a THOUSAND units. Equally amazing, Activus! managed to kill half of the zerg troops at the cost of only 187 of his own. Now THATS same macro and micro. The game was a joy to watch, I was never sure who was going to win until the very last stages. At one point, members from both teams commented within a 2 minute time span they thought they had lost. Also interesting to note, Activus! never produced a single dragoon the entire game, relying solely on temps and archons, though even those two units saw little action. Thank you for reading my report. For your viewing pleasure I now present an animated battle map, enjoy!
This has been…
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