"iggy for prez!"
- ProtectorOfAuir
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| A tale of two morons | | | Author: | | | IP: | dover-21XXXX | | Date: | 06/25/00 02:06 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 3, Max: 7, Min: 3
Lifetime Rating for ProtectorOfAnus: 4.6667 |    | An Ass Too Far
written by:
`Kadtrot
All bow your pathetic heads in shame! The almighty `Kadtrot has entered the room! I have never been defeated in starcraft before, (in my mind), so praise me as your God! I have been gracious enough to take time out of my busy schedule of sitting alone in my room to bring you this battle report. Yes, go ahead and thank me.
Alright, now that my homosexual urges have been satisifed by all your ass kissing, I shall begin my story.
This epic battle took place between two of the most powerful warriors in existance; Krapster and ProtectorOfAnus.
After 2 full hours of POA challenging Krapster and then whinning like the bitch he is, Krap finally gave in and accepted the fight. He had managed to dodge the challenge for weeks, knowing full well that accepting the challenge would lead to an ass beating. However, one can only withstand so much of POA yelling, "Chobo! CHOBO! Mesa da best! Admit it! I have a cute ass, and you like it!".
Krap chose LT as the battlefield, (big surprise), picked Terrans, and started at 12:00. POA went random and drew Zerg at 3:00.
Krap picked his normal Terran strat, opting for 7 barracks before building his first supply depot. POA did a standard Zerg drone rush, hatching 12 overlords and laying 5 hatcheries down in his main.
There was a slight lull in action while both sides built up their forces. After 30 minutes of playing with themselves, both players decided that the time had finally come to scout. POA scouted the map with a few drones, while Krap decided to use his entire marine army to scout each starting position. When POA saw the weakened defense at Krap's main, he immediatley took his 80+ drones and...
Yo listen up, here's the story
about a little guy that lives in a blue world
and all day and all night and everything he sees
is just blue, like him, inside and outside
Im blue, Da Ba Dee Da Ba Dii
Da Ba Dee Da Ba Dii
Da Ba Dee Da Ba Dii
Errr sorry about that. I was having a flashback of my lonely Prom Night at home.
Anyway, POA took his mighty drones and began to lay siege to Krapster's base. Krap then had his 95 marines rush home as fast as they could. Normally, 95 marines could beat 82 drones, but POA's microing genius soon proved too much for the bewhildered Krap. Instead of attacking the marines, POA had his drones attack each other. Krap, thinking that by some evil magic force POA had somehow switched the minds of his marines with the drones, told the marines still in his control to fire upon each other to weed out the evil drone duplicates. After a few moments of massive bloodshed, only 3 marines were left standing against 62 drones.
Krapster admitted defeat, but cursed POA for using such underhanded tactics to win.
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