"Good luck, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Be the Samurai."
-Heartcutter
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| A BR set in StrifeShadow. Somehow. | | | Author: | | | IP: | CWIP-T-0XXXX | | Date: | 06/25/00 03:06 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 7, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for Flisk: 7.0000 |  |
This report does not contain advanced collages, pictures, excellent writing, humour or gratuitous sex.
This report is about a game of StrifeShadow, the yet to be released inaugural title from Ethermoon Entertainment (www.ethermoon.com)
Disclaimer
The report is completely made up with all attempts pulled to use as much of the information released by Ethermoon already about the game. The game is still in development and things are subject to change.
This isn't the first ever StrifeShadow report. The first report goes to some SS website which I forgot :/
Now without further ado, please attempt to enjoy my crap ass report.
Introduction
It is raining outside, heavily, and the streets outside my house were awash with the bodies of the dead. The sundial stuck noon, and to try and use up my time, I fired up my computer and logged onto Ether.net to play some StrifeShadow. Logging into channel NoValleys in hopes of a decent game to pass the time. I finally got one going with someone named :+:Strifeman:+:. A few minutes later, he set up the game at strife99//strife99 and I joined it. The game was set on the Lost Valleys.
The countdown started and I switched at the last second to the Dark Elves, whilst he stayed Random.
The Early Game
After setting up some Aether towers with my Kobolds, I sent one to scout out StrifeMan, and found him in the first area I looked and saw that he was in control of the Dark Elves himself. Dammit. DvD. This is like the most boring matchup ever :( From the looks of it, he was going for mass Marksmen, so after setting my Kobold to attack his Tower, I switched my view back to my base and started to build Moor Moags out of their production building. I got a message that my Kobold was under attack, so I ran it into the forest and I set up some traps around some random trees, before returning the little bastard to get some Ikon from my recently acquired Ikon mine.
First Blood and the Trap Fetish
Another Kobold was set off to claim another mine when it was shot down amongst the small field of view in the trees. Ranged Marksmen. Ever since 1.04, those things have been a major pain in the ass :(
Forming my Moags into two groups, I sent them in from behind and in front of the area where the Marksmen shot down my Kobold Slave. The Moags ran in, thirsty for some Marksman blood, when BAM - they skewered themselves on the traps laid around the Marksmen. It was then when he started laughing at me.
I hastily set up some Gremlin Turrets whilst pumping Moags out of my ass, awaiting the Marksmen onslaught. They soon came from beneath my cliff where I set up my Turrets, and with the higher ground advantage, I was fighting them off nicely, even without using my Moags. He did the smart thing and retreated his archer freaks back to his base - upon which half skewered themselves upon the traps laid prior by my lil' Kobold bastard.
DENIED
Expanding to grab some more Ikon, I formed some into Arikon and threw up some more Aether Towers closer to another pool as the one before was depleted. I threw up a Turret at this expansion and commenced my way towards Cabalists, whilst building a steady ratio of Carvers, Moags and Marksmen and the occasional Dame. Exploring with another Slave, I found not one, but TWO budding expansions, and in his base found a variety of tech buildings from Librams to the Basilica. An enemy Gremlin Turret introduced the Kobold's face to his ass.
By now I had 4 Cabalists who were summoning Elementals as fast as is elvenly possible. A swish new Man-o-War with a set of Slaves and four Moag Raiders were sent over to enemy Expansion #1 where they began to slaughter the resident Kobolds there.
No help came from Strifeman.
Eh. The area was levelled by my mini pimp squad and the dropped Ikon was picked up by the Slaves. The entire gang was loaded back up into the Man-o-War which headed back over to my expansion - which was not there.
Shit.
His last expansion HAD to be destroyed before he powers me into the ground.
The clock was ticking.
Doing a U-turn with my Man o War, I went back to his other expansion where I was greeted with an absolute SHITLOAD of Turrets. Running my Raiders back to base, I set my Slaves to drop their sacks and trap up the area before they got chased off some carverless Moags. Battered and sackless, the poor Slaves all were bumjacked before my eyes. As if to rub salt into the wound, his own Kobolds were sent to disarm the traps :(
Catch Up
Okay. So now he has at least one expansion to my none. I have a large squadron of Chaos Elementals and a large ground army, but no resources coming in. Seeing that I probably had a smaller army than him, I focused more on spellcasters and I pushed my tech tree to Warlocks and researched Chaos Djinn. My new scouting roving do-it-all Kobold found him expanding naked to the middle, which was stopped cold by the Elementals.
Another Man o War was summoned and was filled with all sorts of goodies, including a Kobold, a Warlock and a Cabalist. Landing on a hill near his expansion, a Djinn was summoned and the Kobold lay a string of traps, before wandering too close to a Turret.
The air soon rang with the sound of Whirlwinds and the Turrets were reduced to smouldering ruins. 1 A 2 A 3 A 4 A and my army thundered on their way.
This was double or nothing baby!
Battle of the expansion on that hill with the dead trees and rocks and stuff
My scouting Kobold still hadn't found a expansion on his latest round before succumbing to a blast of Agony from a pissed off Dame. Filled with memories of my ex-girlfriend, a burst of Rage was given to all Raiders in my army before crunching the expansion.
Booming was heard on another cliff and what I saw was 4 Gremlin Grenadiers flinging their shit into my beautiful army, surrounded by Marksmen. Flanking my army were StrifeMan's Moag Raiders. A wily fellah.
Shrapmetal flew threw the air on both sides cutting down friend and foe alike. It was simply pure carnage. Elementals from both sides were brought in to combat the raiders. Immolation took the lives of one Warlock after another. The Grenadiers were the largest obstacle in my way and the edge for him. I couldn't get a decent Shrapmetal off on them as the Warlocks got blasted as soon as they got within range. Taking the initiative, my Man o War was carried up to the top and cast Chaos Pocket (Stasis) on the Marksmen before it was popped. Elementals flew in now and took out the Grenadiers. I had more mass murder units, but my Dames turned the tide with the Rage and Agony spells. He also tried to Cataclysm this area which failed miserably. I ended up victorious in this battle, albeit at a terrible cost. Saying that, with the amount of kills laid in, all my units became Veteran and plain sexier.
A Chaos Elemental of mine kamikazied itself over Strifeman's main base in order to get some information. Deciding that it would be too risky to assault his base head on at the moment, I took to mass expanding before overrunning him with the use of my superior intellect and resources.
The almighty penis attacks
Military units were being pumped out like no tomorrow and the resources kept piling on. It quickly reached a point where I had enough units to think about assaulting his main.
Setting up my Grenadiers, I threw the first stone.
All of a sudden, I recieved the Ritual in Progress message. Muttering a slurred expletive which even I can't remember, I sent all my army in to attack, hoping that it was just a false alarm, and as I was pretty sure that the Cataclysm would be aimed that them. It just so happened that the Cataclysm was set RIGHT at the entrance to his base, and where my army had moved too.
Kabloooey and my offensive is back to Square 1.
The almighty penis attacks
Recap. My army is gone. He has a SHITLOAD of Warlocks (especially to get that Cataclysm going).
He then attempts to expand to ANY place that he could, as a scouting Chaos Elemental found out, and my Agony induced Kobold Slave who was recovering under a tree was immediately sent back to scouting duty, amongst his grumbling. I stopped all his attempts at expanding with my evergrowing air army. In an attempt to change my tactics from ground to air, I swung my assorted Chaos crap closer to his main base and over the forest. Sending in another Elemental for scout purposes, I saw around 3 cannons guarding the side of his base. Sending a Man-o-war half filled with Carvers, they were dropped amongst the turrets which immediately fired at them. Flying in with the Elementals, I took out all the Turrets with the loss of all my Carvers, and an Elemental. Mission - Success.
This is the end - see? There truly is a God
Flying around Immolating any lone Warlocks I could see before the Man-o-war got popped, the Elementals and Djinns were sent in and started to tear shit up :D Shrapmetal, Agony and arrows flew threw the air, but his meager forces couldn't muster up a decent fight, and all it did was delay the inevitable. Knowing this himself, he soon gave me a quick gg and left the game, leaving me as the victor and Ruler of the Universe.
Props
- Battlereports.com for letting me relieve my boredom, even though at the suffering of others.
- Ethermoon for making this game (well in the process of)
- You for reading this. You truly deserve a medal.
Slops
- Ethermoon as they haven't finished this game yet
- Netscape. Can it crash anymore!? |
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