"I'm your host, the Cynical Magician, and welcome to another BR about wax lips."
-CynicalMagican.
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| HOTFUDGE SUNDAE | | | Author: | | | IP: | svwebw02XXXX | | Date: | 03/28/00 12:03 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 7, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for JEEZUMCROW: 6.8000 |  | This is my second BR attempt, I hope y'all like it :)
The Map:
Enigma (6 player map with one ramp and one small staircase which only small units can get up on and a natural base near each of the starting mains. The bases are in a circle formation. There are smaller bases dotted around the map with only 3 mineral patches and a gas extractor. There is also a middle area that connects all the paths leading to the 6 mains.)
The Players:
--hotshot—(aka Gambleren) as Terran at 10:00
-=EA=-Paladin as Zerg at 12:00
Jag’dlittlepills as Zerg at 02:00
Versus
Crack’dnogn Protoss at 03:00
Denboymich (aka Jeezumcrow) as Zerg at 05:00
Wherearemypills (aka |)ark_hydra)as Terran at 06:00
Let the Games Begin!!
From an earlier game among the 6 of us, Jag’dlittlepills and Crack’dnogn proved to be very new at this game. Not that this is bad or anything since we all start out as newbies on BNET, however when I see one of them start making a fleet beacon with only one base and one stargate in the first 15minutes of the game, this really puts a damper in the spirit of things.
The game starts out with everyone teching quickly since the setup of the map makes it hard to do any quick rushing.
First blood is drawn when -=EA=-Paladin(Zerg) does a muta rush on the nearest opponent, Crack’dnogn(Toss). Having spent the entire beginning of the game, screaming at Crack’dnogn, when my scout sees a liar forming at -=EA=-Paladin, to make some tight cannon defense near his mineral line instead of making them 50 miles away from it. He still manages to only make cannons on the left side leaving his entire right undefended.
-=EA=-Paladin’s 6 mutas does a number on Crack’dnogn’s probes before they suddenly fly south to the 04:00 position where my Zerg base is at. There the mutas find the main with only 1 spore defending and start attacking when –hotshot—shows up too with a squad of marines accompanied by a half dozen medics. I begin cursing at myself for the lax play there, but this was due to my entire concentration on typing and checking to see if my ally Crack would make his cannon defense in preparation of a muta rush.
Knowing that I am doomed since I had made no sunkens in time, I begin another hatchery with the drone scout I had at –hotshot—‘s natural at the 10:00 position. While the MMs and mutas waste my main and the natural quick expansion there, I was able to save up 400 or so minerals and 1000 gas. Crack is also able to setup 10 cannons L at his main so nothing can touch him. However, luckily my other ally, wherearemypills, is quick enough to know that -=EA=-Paladin has no defense in his zerg main from a scan, and he sends a squad and a half of MMs to attack while my main is going down.
The stimped MMs of wherearemypills take out most of -=EA=-Paladin’s main and expansion base while also killing a lot of the reinforcements that his allies send to help save him. Not until a full squad of hydras from Jag’dlittlepills and some more of –hotshot—‘s MMs show up, was -=EA=-Paladin saved with only a couple of buildings and a few drones left.
DIRE SITUATION
The game continues slowly as everyone tries to build up some more units while I rebuild my whole base right next to my enemy, --hotshot—‘s terran main. Seeing that I have a lot of gas, and that having my base so close to the enemy terran, my hope is to make quick lurkers and harrass terran’s ever growing mms and also save up minerals for another base nearer to my allies since my base would eventually be wiped out.
Initially, --hotshot— is wary of attacking me as I have a couple of lurkers, a spore, and 2 sunkens. He tries to slowly lay siege on me but because of the awkwardness of the path leading to my base from his main, his tanks are close enough for me to suicide kill the tanks with my hydras while I used 2 lurkers I had sneaked outside before his tankpush setup to attack his mms from behind. Although he finally destroys my small main, I am able to do what I had planned in which to get as many minerals as I could for another rebuilding nearer to my allies, and also be cost effective in killing his units with only a few of my lurkers, hydras, 2 sunkens and a spores for his wraiths. I also knew that by harrassing him, I could divert most of his attention and units away from attacking my allies and so wherearemypills is able to set up 2 expansions and have a concentration of mms and tanks with a science vessel to nearly kill Jag’dlittlepills at his 02:00 position.
During this part of the game, -=EA=-Paladin is able to rebuild and become a threat again with a squad of mutas, devourers and gaurdians with 1-1. My ally Crack has only scouts and a couple of corsairs with dweb reseaching. Seeing the 1-1 zerg air armada from -=EA=-Paladin and wraiths from –hotshot--, I knew we had to play this very carefully with a lot of air defense and air units. So with my only relocated main that has only 3 mineral patches and a gas, I start making a spire and 2 more expansions.
Finally glad to see that it was indeed useful for Crack to build up a force of scouts and corsairs, I warn my allies to build up more air units and defense and group them together near wherearemypills terran main and expansion. My only hope was that our opponents would make a bad attack and lose all of their expensive air units to our grouped air defense.
Knowing that the only other threat would be ground units, I also ask wherearemypills to not attack at all and just setup his seiged tanks and mms at the middle area. This would effectively seal up half of the map for us to expand and build up freely with the only worry of air attacks. Also with a tank setup in the middle, any attacks by our enemies would be costly since there were a ton of MMs guarding the tanks and also our moblie air units would be able to come help out as well.
With this strategy in mind, I am able to slowly build up 3 expansions, with 1-1 mass mutas while wherearemypills makes 12 valkeryies and plenty of SVs and mms in prepartion of any attacks that our enemies might make. Seeing us slowly buildup with so many bases. –hotshot—initally tries take out one of my bases, with only a squad of cloacked wraiths at 03:00 which only had a spore as defense.
Very happy to see them make a mistake like that, I yell at crack to send his powerful scout squad along with my mutas to take out the wraiths weakend by the spore. We are able to kill all the wriaths with very few loses of our own. Our enemies also loses a lot of ground units and air units in several attacks to the tank setup we had in the middle.
I WANT TO HUNT MESHELF A DARE.
During this time, wherearemypills warns me that we should start to attack their new expansion attempts soon so we set up our air armada consisting of a half dozen SVs, 12 valkeryies, 2 squads of corairs and scouts, and 3 and a half control groups of 3-1 mutas, with a smatter of devourers. I also had made 2 defilers with plague in hopes of weakening any large enemy air units.
From one of the many overlord scouts I had along a line that dissected the map into a 2 triangles, we see a zerg expansion attempt at 07:00. I bring my 2 defilers to the edge of it in hopes of spreading some plague on any massive air groups that would come defend the base and our impending attack force. I also bring along 3 drones to make spores on the zerg expansion attempt that -=EA=-Paladin was making because spores can do a lot of damage and weaken any defending air force, and also help detect cloaked wraiths.
With a guardian sent to start doing a long range attack and entice our enemies to send their air units out towards our position, I also set up 3 creeps to make spores right when the -=EA=-Paladin’s hatchery pops up. -=EA=-Paladin also makes a nydus canal right away while also sending all 12+ devourers towards the 2 gaurdians and 2 mutas I had sent to harrass the zerg expansion attempt and the –hotshot—‘s terran expansion nearby.
When the 12 devourers appear, I am pissed to find that my plague technology was not clicked to be researched, fortunately wherearemypills uses his half dozen SVs to weaken out the devourers and mutas with Irradation. With my 3-1 mass mutas, 12 valkeryies and scouts and corsairs shooting, along with offensive spores, our enemies air units all die instantaneously.
Crack’dnogn also is able to nullify the many hydras that begin popping out of -=EA=-Paladins’ nydus canal with gay dweb, while our air units and guardians finish them up. Some ground reinforcements had also been sent to the battle scene by our opponents but a lot of them did not make it due to being pounded by the seiged tank setup in the middle.
This victory on our part killed nearly all of the enemies units and gave us control of 2 more expansion spots at the expense of them. -=EA=-Paladin tries to attack us again at my 03:00 expansion spot with only 12 gaurdians which are promptly ripped apart by Crack’dnogn protoss air units. –hotshot—also tries to make one last major attack with a control group of BCs but having seen them coming towards the middle area well in advance with overlords. I first send 2 defilers to try to plague them, but due to the extreme lag in the game, I screw this up. The first defiler that I send toward the bcs moves forward and then back without doing jackshit due to the lag where my mouse just moves too slowly to click anywhere effectively.
Seeing my defilers, --hotshot— retreats his bcs right away, and only moves forward to attack again with only one battlecruiser so as to yamatoe the defiler. I was also able to hide another defiler under an overlord knowing there was a big chance –hotshot—would not see it. As I see gleefully the 12 bcs come towards my position, I try to click G for the plague on the BCs, but yet again I screw up due to the extreme lag, and the mouse is targeted on my devourer by mistake. With the BCs already in position wasting my 2 and a half control groups of 3-2 mutas and devouers, I immediatley consume the overlord that was hiding the defiler and make one last palgue on the BCs before he reacts to kill it.
I finally did something right and weaken the BCs substantially with my plague just before the defiler is shot to death, but due to the screw ups with the defilers, my 2 and a half control groups of mutas and devouers all die at the cost of only half of –hotshot—‘s battle cruisers. Yelling and screaming again at my allies to send their air to finish off the BCs, they do so while I make 3 more defilers and set up 2 more expansions.
With the BCs gone, --hotshot—says gg and leaves, leaving -=EA=-Paladin and Jag’dlittlepills to try to win the game. In one last resort, the 2 of them send 1 and a half control groups each of overlords with hydras in them with some mutas as escorts. Due to my overlords scouting the whole half of the map, I see them in advance and yell at wheremypills to stop concentrating in nuking the heavily fortified zerg base at the 09:00 postion and send his 12 valkeryies to wipe out the overlord before they land their load. With the help of my newly made mutas, and 6 gaurdians and Crack’dnogn protoss air units, we are able to delay the overlords and mutas long enough for the valks to show up and nearly annihilate the whole force. With my gaurds, I finish up the few remaining hydras that were able to land before the overlords were wiped out.
This last victory along with the slow process of taking out the zerg bases with nukes, dweb and gaurds, -=EA=-Paladin and Jag’dlittlepills says ggs and concedes the game. The game lasted just over an hour.
LESSONS LEARNED
Nothing :p but to get a half point higher for my BR, here’s a fable.
Once upon a night, a fellow is blindly lost in a forest. Luckily for him, as a storm begins to brew up, he comes upon a house. He knocks at the door as is welcomed by an old man. Explaining to the old man that he is lost and needs shelter from the storm, the old man lets him in and sets him down with hot soup and a warm blanket.
As the fellow is drinking his soup, the old man tells him, “I will allow you to stay under my roof on one condition.” The fellow looks up and ask what that would be. The old man says bluntly that, “Don’t go fucking with my daughter or you will face dire punishment!”. The fellow is a bit surprised but tells the old man right away that he would not dare even to think about touching his daughter as he only wishes to stay for warm shelter.
With that settled, the old man brings the fellow upstairs to his room, and wishes him a good night. While sleeping during the night, the fellow is interrupted with the opening of his door. Startled, he turns on the lamp to see a naked young woman with long blonde hair and long eye lashes standing at his door. With her finger at her mouth to hush the fellow, she moves towards his bed. Remembering the old man’s warning, the fellow is about to tell the lady to leave, but just seeing a naked blonde coming on to him so willingly, he tells himself, “Oh what the hell!” After fiery hot sex, the fellow falls straight to sleep dead tired from it all.
Waking the next morning, the fellow finds himself on the roof with a rock sitting on his still naked self. Alarmed, he heaves the rock of himself and throws it off the roof only to see in more disbelief, a thin rope tied from the rock to his testicles. He panics and jumps down the roof after the rock only to see as well from the side of his eye, another rope tied from the chimney to his testicles as well.
Moral? Don’t know, it was just damn funny hearing it. :)
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