"+1 for all the gay references"
-SnK-Arcbound
|
| Part II OR More Spam! | | | Author: | | | IP: | dialup04XXXX | | Date: | 03/22/00 08:03 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 5, Max: 10, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for Sp|ne: 9.5000 |   |
3 game series
| Continued from part I ...
XXX Korean Porn
I know that makes no sense - it is my
obligatory chapter title that is offensive and rude (moreso than others)
While | | Bob was effeciently storming one ling at a time, GOZ had high hopes in the
previously pretty much uncharted northern side of the map. After fortifying his 12:30
island mineral only,  he took the gas expansion in the upper right corner, bringing him to 3
expansions (2 working). He then went on a scouting mission, becoming maybe even more
overjoyed than the time a fortune teller told him "he might get laid, someday".
Yes, that overjoyed. GOZ first scouted a bit left of his 12:30 expansion, running
right into Pitt's 12 o clock main that he has had for a while. GOZ quickly exterminates most of
the drones there before killing a pesky nydus canal. Knowing that he should probably not
threaten the spores on the other side of the expansion, he ran away, due west - directly
into Wrestler's newly made expansion at the 11:30 mineral only island, which i had not
even noticed until then. With absolutely no defense at all, the CC and scvs fall quickly
to their deaths, and the wraiths continue to go west.
Pitt
continues kamakazing lings into various player's bases, and he sends about 15 lings at Wrestler, which are
quickly smoked by some goliaths and tanks. Yes, he has started to make tanks. Incredible.
For some reason this pissed off Wrestler or something, so he sent several of his tanks and goliaths to
the 9 o clock main, where a few ghosts and vultures were still taking down some sunkens
(yes it has taken that long). He also finds Pitt's newly made and unused 10 o clock natural expansion, which he
promptly kills with a couple of goliaths. Meanwhile, GOZ continues to gain control of
the upper part of the map, floating a CC to the 11:30 mineral only island, the place where
Wrestler
had just expanded to and died.
Sending out tanks to finish the job proves costly to Wrestler however. This is because
soon after he does, a large horde of hydras and lings crash into his natural. He still had
a few tanks and goliaths there, positioned nicely, including one on his cliff, in an
excellent sniping position. However, it was not enough. Pitt's large force was able to
plow through Wrestler's, although with heavy casulties, and about 12 injured hydras make it to Wrestler's main.
Meanwhile, halfway across the map, GOZ and Bob have a little too much fun when a couple of GOZ's wraiths begin
chasing after a shuttle.
Pitt's 12 hydras traverse down to Wrestler's main, where they are joined by about 8 more hydras. Now it
got a bit confusing for me.  I was distracted by Bob and GOZ scuffling in the northern
side of the map (next paragraph), and really didn't get a clear shot of how these 20+
hydras died. I know for sure that Pitt's 20 hydras was whittled down to 8 by a couple tanks and few
goliaths. From there, i am unsure. I have a picture of the 8 hydras fighting a couple
goliaths and a vulture, and a second later ... dead. How this happened i have no idea.
Maybe Wrestler gave sacrificial bengalaas's to the sc gods prior to the game.
As i said last paragraph, my lack of understanding of what happened in Wrestler's base was
caused by the following. Bob continued to try to be cute and storm stuff, and somehow  that
shuttle that GOZ was chasing a few paragraphs back had found it's way to GOZ's mineral only
expansion at 12:30. 3 templar pop out, and the wraiths immediately retreat, not willing to
risk being stormed. Another retarded battle commence, pitting mighty scvs against gay
templar. The templar sort of scuttled around for a bit, before eventually storming about
3-4 times, killing all but 4 scvs.
Back down at Wrestler's base, Pitt continues to be the aggressor. He again sends in about 40-50
lings blindly to their deaths, and they do this well, dieing pretty miserably to about 10
marines, a few goliaths, a vulture, a tank, and a couple SV's. A second wave is next sent,
consisting of about 20 hydraling, which do a little bit more damage, but not much. But Wrestler is in more
than deep trouble at this time. He has no bases currently mining, and his army is
diminishing by the moment. He had better do something quick, lest this be down to 2 1/2
men (Bob
only counts as half a man).
GOZ continues to expand, taking the 9 o clock natural. His ever present force
of wraiths is continually growing, and he is conserving them well - he probably has around
24 at this time. Bob continues to be a bitch, landing a templar in Wrestler's dry 7:30 mineral only,
killing a bunch of innocent scvs. Cruel, cruel child.
Pitt
had found out a bit earlier about GOZ's two northern island expansions, and attempted to put an end
to them with a very small and pathetic hydra drop. Wraiths are pathetic, but not pathetic
enough for 18 of them to lose to 4 hydras. Sorry Pitt, try again. Following this, GOZ brings his wraiths due south
for some recon and hot action, and they quickly find it. Wrestler is actually trying to
expand, to the 10 o clock natural. But obviously, GOZ's wraiths find it just as it
is being started. The wraiths begin firing upon the few tanks and goliaths - a comstat is
placed, but it is too late. The goliaths are few in number and fall quickly, and
accusations of hacking begin. But Bob clears that one up nicely. After this, GOZ claims this
expansion for himself, bringing him up to a nice plump total of 5.
My attention becomes interrupted yet again with calls of Bob saying "look at my
Rynadon". He had previously shown me that he mind controlled one, which i didn't
really care about much. But what i didn't expect is that he would hallucinate it about 25
times .... take a look for yourself. Oh, and try to guess which is before and after.
Alright back to the game. As i said before, Pitt has found out that GOZ has two of the
island mineral onlies, and after doing a pathetic attack on the 11:30 one, he decides to
hit the 12:30 one much harder.  He doesn't just simply drop the island though - instead, realizing that
there are actually 3 levels of terrain to the map (normal, low ground where the mains,
high ground cliffs surrounding mains, and the mineral only islands which are actually just
another level up from the normal high ground). Ummm, yeah, anyone following me? If you
are, then good. Pitt drops his hydras on the second level of terrain, and moves up to the
expansion and does a very interesting tactic, hitting all turrets that he can that are on
the edges of GOZ's expansion. At first Pitt forgets overlords, and the wraiths get a few seconds of free
hits. But this does not last for long, as many of Pitt's ovies come back to where
the hydras are, and the tin can wraiths fall quickly. Pitt also manages to take out two
turrets with this tactic, and thus was able to clear the path for his drop.
Once he was able to successfully drop, GOZ had very little defense, and the expansion was razed quickly.
But enough of this "starcraft" crap. Let's see whats going on with happy happy
rynadon friends.
XXX Porn and
some Bengalaas
We're up to about 1:40 - 1:50 in the game now, and boy, has this one been
a doozy. If you are still reading this and have done so in one piece, i have to say that
you have incredible concentration skills.
A few minor battles occur. Wrestler, who currently has absolutely no resource intake, again
tries to claim an expansion, taking the 10 o clock main. A few of GOZ's injured
wraiths come down from after running away from Pitt's hydras, and begin attacking a couple turrets defending the
expansion. One turret is taken down before the remaning one wraith retreats, not willing
to deal with the mad mad fury of the scvs wildly repairing the one remaining turret. Bob finally
expands again as well, taking the 2 o clock natural (Infested's old natural) and
defending it with several templar. He also announces that he's going to "mind control
a bengalaas and build him a shrine". Yes, Bob is indeed a disturbed child.
 Finally something more interesting than
bob mind controlling a bengalaas occurs when
Pitt decides to strike GOZ's remaining mineral island expansion at 11:30. He does this in
the same method that he used to destroy GOZ's other island exansion - killing turrets on the outskirts of
the cliff with hydras and then dropping them in. Again, it works very nicely, and GOZ is again
forced to lift off his buildings and whine and moan like the bitch he is.
Pitt, still being an aggressive bitch, notes Bob's 
newly constructed and fortified expansion at the 2 natural, and sets off to destroy it
with about 50 lings doing another pretty line dance, along with a few hydras. Normally
they would have died quickly to storm and other lame things, but Bob was paying too
much attention to making his pretty little shrine for his bengalaas and didn't storm until
too late. He did manage to kill some lings, but more came, and the expansion fell.
GOZ's still growing force of wraiths find Wrestler's 10 o clock main
expansion for the second time, as well as Pitt. They both coincidently attack it at about the same time - Pitt throwing
about 5-6 sets of lings at him while GOZ's wraiths attack the CC. GOZ's wraiths retreat shortly
after killing a few scv's, knowing that he has bigger things to worry about. Pitt's attack
continues though, with largely lings, despite the fact that Wrestler's army totals about 12
vultures^^. Finally, Pitt groups some hydras, and coupled with some lings, finally
kill those silly vultures, and Wrestler's last chance at having an income. This puts him pretty much
out of the game (although he was a non-factor for the past 20 minutes). Meanwhile, Bob MC's another
bengalaas, preparing to expand upon his pretty shrine. GOZ expands again, to the
9:30ish mineral only island, giving him 2 expansions.
 Some more minor, unimportant battles occur, such as
Pitt killing a
deadly spider mine with 30 hydras, or GOZ killing an SV trying to irritate some of his mining scvs
with about 20 wraiths. But its all good, because guido Bob made a kickass bengalaas
shrine! God, this kid has too much free time. Not that i should talk.
A rather confusing "kill as many exps in 5 minutes so spine cant get pics of half the
battles" stage occurs.  I'll make this short and sweet.
Pitt kills EVERY active
expansion site that GOZ had left - a total of 5 - in about 6-7 minutes. GOZ managed to
kill an unused expansion of Pitt's, at the 2 natural. Both players start hurting for money
pretty badly now, with Pitt having the only active expansion between them, at the 12 o
clock natural (with only 3 mineral patches). Both players have a large mineral/gas backup
though, so i guess it helps to get a putz when you look at it that way. Good news for you,
Evan!
Pitt continues on his rampage (god i am getting so dull and corny ...  turning into a Bob BR), dropping
off about 25 hydras into Wrestler's main base, which was completely undefended. The hydras
killed some stuff, etc etc blah blah blah Wrestler was officially out of the game, which really didn't effect
anything since, as i said before, he has been a non factor for about 30 minutes now.
Suddenly, to my complete surprise, i saw an ENOURMOUS wraith fleet flying to the
right of Pitt's main. Probably around 60 wraiths which GOZ had been massing finally
showed their faces. They ran into Pitt's base to conveniently find a hydra den right next
to them. Quickly, GOZ told the wraiths to kill it, eliminating Pitt's anti air threat. The
wraiths then went right through Pitt's main, killed a few random targets, before exciting to the
north. He then scoured the map for expansions, finding and exterminating with ease and
precision all 4 of Pitt's expansions - 3 of which were dry of unused. The dry island
mineral only at 1:30, the unused mineral only at the 12:30 position, the dry 12 o clock
main expansion, and the nearly dry 12 o clock natural.
For the first time in the game, Pitt is now 
struggling for resources. He has no expansions running, and only had his resource backups
to run on. Fortunately for him, he still had quite a large army left. And after cleaning
up Wrestler's main, he loaded his 30 or so remaining hydras into overlords, and sent off
to GOZ's one remaining base - the 3:30 island mineral only, which he has had nearly
the entire game. The island was completely undefended, and thus the island fell, with the
game resting in the hands of GOZ's wraiths.
And boy did that wraith fleet do their work. They charged into Pitt's base to
find it nearly undefended, since all his hydras were at GOZ's lone expansion. Several
hydras were quickly dispatched of, and they began to work on his buildings. Pitt's base began
to fall .. slowly. And alas, it was too slow. More hydras appeared, numbering about 10,
bringing the gigantic wraith fleet down to about 30. And then Pitt brought down the hammer.
All of his hydras, after finishing off GOZ's last base, were loaded up into ovies and brought back to his
main. They unloaded out of the wraith's sight, and well ... the rest wasn't pretty. GOZ had ran out of
cloak energy because his wraiths were cloaked the entire time when they went across
the map, and by the time they got back to Pitt's base, half of their energy was depleted. The hydras
immediately began shooting wraiths out of the sky, and GOZ was forced to retreat his
wraiths - but it was too late. His force of over 60 had dwindled down to a mere 10, and
without any base to replenish his force, he all but doomed...
Pitt assumed he had won it. In fact, Bob helped to clean the presense of GOZ off of the map, because he
had resorted to being particularly gay and hiding depots in various places. Then Pitt was told to
see Bob's front line .... and so he did, and saw the following.
Rather bewildered by Bob's shrine, Pitt decided that enough is enough. He had already been
complaining about having to get up very early in the morning, and it was already about 1
am then. Bob had 10000 in the bank as well, and Pitt only had one mining
expansion. So Bob very well may have won. But nevertheless, Bob is declared the victor! The
following is the chat transcript we had at the end of the game.
Winner: Bob_the_Fruit
Final
Scores
Of
course, the extras
Alright, since Pitt was one of the stars
of this br, one thing came to my mind. DRUNK MONOLOGUE! So here you go folks ... written
by Pitt himself, when he was blowing chunks repeatidly and still managing to type this
crap up. Anyway, enjoy! Pics included!!
Wen I Am Drunk dnd i am plying Sc i turn in ot my animal spirit... MR
BOJNGLES!!!!! He fights rael hard and kills people that asmsd mess with him! You do not
mess waeith BojDFANGLES! DIE!! Ok MR BogDSnels hasa gun and he wears the TErfdminator
gasse.! Only Bob the NEWT! everybody else will get owned by MR dobangels! ok:!?! That's
right! Because everywun esl is hitler monkey's helper! And IF YOU Hep HINTER MONKEY YOU
DIE! LOOK AT HITLER MONKEY AD SLDKOK AT DOBANLES!!! BOJANGES KIX HITER MONKEY ASS!! YEAH!
Ok now I'm going to bed or Iasm going to battle.com by!
See alt texts for explanations...
And of course, the obligatory Mark4 pic. I originally wasn't gonna put
another one in, because in the words of my friend Evire!!, "it's getting old Matt,
it's getting old". But this one was just too perfect to pass up. Thank necrosausage
for sending me this one! Mark4!!
And of course, a poll. I ran out of ideas because i've been working on
this for 5 hours straight, so just suck it up and vote for another gay lamer poll! This
time fixed, so you fags cant vote for me! Ha!
Lessons
Learned
No one learns anything from these
anyway, other than that they should say "NICE BR SPINE!!!" about 50,000 times
until my head explodes. So here's some funny stuff that TOOL, Pitt, and Hilbs said.
And a few last words
Well, i worked damn hard on this and i
really tried to accurately portray an enourmously complicated game as simply as i could. I
hope you all enjoy it. And to anyone who doesn't, please go here!. |
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