"But he lags like a government worker"
-VRAM1974
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| Slicer returns, for now, with a semi-interesting fight. | | | Author: | | | IP: | pdx-ppp2XXXX | | Date: | 02/29/00 04:02 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 6, Min: 6
Lifetime Rating for Slicer: 6.7333 |  | Yes, it's me again (for everyone who remembers me), and I don't plan to stay- just had one I felt I needed to relate.
Slicer and the Average People
Now kids, there's something I'd like you all to remember. I'm out of practice, I'm not the god I used to be, and I haven't fought a hard one in a long time. I'm just relating the average battle of Bnet, with the average people, on a non-average (read: non-BGH) map.
Map: Ghost Town
Game type: 3v3
Our Hero: Top left, Terran, IQ: you decide for yourself.
Red: Mid-Right, Zerg, IQ: >130
Brown: Top right, Protoss, IQ: <90
White: Mid-Left, Terran, IQ: ~100
Teal: Bottom left, Zerg, IQ: ~100
Yellow: Bottom right, Protoss, IQ: <85
It starts as a TVB from the game. Red is the creator, and is allied with White and Teal, making me allied with Brown and Yellow. Now as you can see from the arbitrary IQ scores, and my lack of practice, I'm probably screwed. I realize this, of course, and it doesn't bug me. One thing I do know is that this game needs to last less than one hour, real time- I have somewhere I need to go and I'm only playing a quickie.
And my luck hits again. Yellow lags. Hard. We're talking five-second bursts, the guy has a ping of ~3000 ms or so. I swear at him to get the fuck off AOL before we go 5v1 on his ass, stomping him instead of some helpless comp. One thing I know for certain about AOLamers is that, if they do not understand the value of a good ISP, certainly do not understand the dynamics of multiplayer Starcraft. Therefore, his loss will mean little.
I get lucky. He leaves. Brown is swearing at me, because he, too, has AOL. "Oh, dear God.", I think to myself. "I'm sunk and the game hasn't even begun."
Red, being the generous person he is (or simply doesn't like his partners very much), declares that he is striking off on his own. Brown is worthless to me, both as an ally or even as a distraction- well, maybe not as a distraction. He has four gateways, several Pylons, a Citadel, a Templar Archives, is warping in a second Templar Archives, and has no offensive units whatsoever.
During all this, I am going a basic Terran defense-oriented build, having decided to do so long before my scouts/comsat showed the white Terran and the red Zerg- I figured that, given such shitty companionship, they would decorate my organs all over the road with some double rush.
I see Red's drone over on my side of the board. What the hell is he doing here? It dies. To distract him, I tell him about my "partner" to the top right; weak, helpless, unitless, and altogether defenseless. After enough coaxing, he attacks. My "partner" and I unally. I take the expansion to the top left and needlessly defend it- making marines, medics, and Factory ground units the whole time.
Red's attack, as shown by Comsat, is surprisingly repulsed. Wow. I didn't know Brown had it in him. Shortly thereafter, Red whines about people attacking him, and I comsat him to see Teal's mutas flying around his base. Red does not repulse the attack- the mutas seemingly fly off on their own while Red makes Hydras galore.
Then, guess what, we lose another player, White drops out of existence after 45 seconds. Wee. I decide to end this hopeless charade of a game and I set up a force to attack Teal. Brown eventually just dies, to who cares what. He was never really alive to begin with. I comsat Teal and find his defense lacking, too many Mutas and too few ground units.
The small attack force, composed primarily of Marines, sets up shop and a lone Tank beats the crap out of Teal's whole base. Teal sends Mutas. Mutas die badly. Teal sends Zerglings. Zerglings become tomato paste. Sunkens become tomato paste. Teal's base becomes tomato paste. Yum. Where's Heinz when you need 'em?
I can kill Red, I know, but since he was the only player in the entire fucking game who could talk straight, I let him live and we agree to ally.
This wasn't spectacular, it outright sucked. But that's the way most games go on Bnet. You read about all these epic battles between Great Player A and Great Player/Possible Maphacker B, and you think that that's the way the game's always played. Newsflash. THIS is the way games are played, by and large, by people who don't know or care about each other, mostly on BGH, with the rare real map (the guy had to name the game Real Game) in between. Depressing, isn't it... |
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