Monday Night I am in nohunters, and just sitting around, asking for a game. All of a sudden some New Caledonian named Mark4 messages me saying: "1v1?"

A courteous man I reply, "No sir I will own your ass too hard." He messaged me mentioning how he was crying, and I have no manners, yeah ok whatever.

So out of the blue he says "2v1?" To this all I can say is, hell yes. Why not? Easy game for me.

So we enter the game and realize nobody else from nohunters though about joining. Losers. So I call a kid down the hall from me in my dorm who I know owns Starcraft and say "Hey get yo bitch ass in the game we gonna play some Brood War foo'." He hurries because he knows I have a lethal bitch slap, and I would use it if necessary.

So riagoth (my friend down the hall) and I ally up on Lost Temple and are ready to play the oh-so godly Mark4. I am protoss, he is zerg. Mark4 selected protoss. Our races were randomized.

Well, riagoth rushes with six zerglings and proceeds to rape Mark4 for about 2 seconds until some zealots arive and do away with them. We continue to rush with numbers like four zealots, 6 zerglings, 3 zealots, eight zerglings and so on until Mark4 gets dragoons and places a butt monkey load of them in front of his choke. Yuckiness.

I had been teching to reavers this whole time because Mark4 made a monkey load of cannons, and I looked at riagoth's base. Pool, two hatch, and extractor. No expansion. :( I tell him to at least some damn hydras and to expand. He says um ok.

Here is a picture of our first rushes. I made them into a collage because I figure that might be gosu.
Anyways, he built hydra and expansion, I built expansion too. Then I realized I made a boo-boo. No observers, no cannons is a bad thing. Mark4 knew that I guess and he sent two DTs to my base. What a fruitcake.

Some more stuff happens, and I reaver drop. Four reavers vs about 6 goons and a lush probe line. What happens?
I think this picture says it all.

Now, Mark4 had attacked riagoths expansion and thoroughly raped it, I believe. I was too busy thinking about my idol Daisy Fuentes to help him though, so I attempted to attack Mark4's naked natural.
Oh wait, there is a problem. Its not naked. My 12 zealots, 2 dragoons are thoroughly raped. Yaya.

Now I sense a major problem. This is a 2v1 and we are getting dominated by some New Caladonian. He has an expansion, mine keeps getting killed. And my observer has just sighted a massive dragoon platoon moving towards my base. Naturally, I pissed all over myself.

I am thoroughly raped. I have just lost a 2v1. Yuckiness.

riagoth died before me actually, but he died to mixed troops, like a beat up whore. Oh well.

Damn fools don't understand who they are cheering for.

This was a horrible BR. But I was required to do it by law of sexativity.