"half the text and all the pictures/html is dags, but scn gets credit for the report
dag is owned."
-Keanu_Reaver
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| The fate of Jamellan | | | Author: | | | IP: | aden2-14XXXX | | Date: | 01/29/00 01:01 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 5, Min: 5
Lifetime Rating for Jamellan: 7.7609 |  | When we last left Jamellan he had joined the marines, fought in a battle, and felt very trippy.
I stepped through the portal again and got to go through all that cool space traveling stuff. When I reached the end I found myself in a giant stadium where I was told to take a seat by one of the guards. A giant voice boomed over the stadium speakers.
"Well done men. You have all succeeded. Now I know that you did not fight in the same battles, but you're all here and still alive, and that makes you all winners...except for one of you...Jamellan! Come forth!"
What the hell? I didn't do anything, but did as I was told. The voice spoke again...
"Jamellan, you are charged for killing a member of an endangered species."
"What species?"
"The ever rare bengalass."
Aw shit. Who cares if they're an endangered species?!?! They're damn annoying!!!
"Your punishment will be a suicide mission. You will suit up in marine armor and armament and go forth to the the planet Aiur. You will also be equipped with a nuclear device."
Aiur? Where the hell was that.
"Upon reaching Aiur, you must travel to Templarnia, the biggest city on Aiur. Upon entering to the city, you will set the nuke and blow up the city. If you succeede, you will be cleared of all your guilt and be alive. If you fail, you be dead, just like the poor bengalass you assassinated. You have 20 minutes to get ready to your voyage to Aiur."
I was lead to a locker room and told to suit up. While I was putting on my armor someone spoke.
"Well howdy Jamellan!"
I looked back. It was Billy Bob, the old big game hunting champion back on my planet.
"How's it goin Billy."
"Well, better than you that's fer sure AAAHYUUUUCKKK! Anyway, I am sorry fer yer predicament, and I want to help. Please take Mr. Slashy with you."
"Mr. Slashy?"
"Yyyup. He's my pet zerglin. The only tame zerglin in the universe. He's very loyal, and a good attack dog..er..zerglin. Cmere Slashy!"
I heard something running into the locker room. A zergling charged in and jumped up on Billy Bob!
"Whoa! Watch it there Mr. Slashy! You almost got my jugular with yer claw that time. Down boy...well, if you want him to love you, just feed him these lil malt balls here."
He handed me a giant box of malt balls. I opened it up and tossed a couple down at Slashy. It gobbled em down real quick and looked at me. Noticing I now posessed the box of malt balls, Mr. Slashy promptly lunged at Billy Bob and hacked him up into little bits.....from this moment on NO ONE was takin this box of malt balls away from me!!!!! To cover up the bloody mess, I cleverly placed an empty can of spagetti o's on the ground and walked away.
I met up with some guards and they escorted me to a dropship. I got on board with Mr. Slashy following closely behind. I was strapped into a seat and Slashy was put in the prisoner compound part of the ship for safety reasons. We were soon off and on our way to Auir. The pilot spoke.
"So, you got assigned the Aiur penalty too huh?"
"So I'm not the first then?"
"Hell no, you'd be about the 79th person to do this. It really is quite suicide down there, what with the protoss and zerg fighting."
"Who's the protoss and zerg?"
Well, to spare you all from learning again what you already know, we will skip the protoss and zerg info part which took about 10 minutes of explanation.
"Shit!" was my reply.
"Yea. Well, we're close enough to the drop point now. Good luck soldier."
And with that I heard a zzzzz sound and then magically found myself in a quiet, peaceful valley. I guess I was on Aiur. Mr. Slashey made it to along with my nuclear bomb and supplies. Luckily, it was all on a hovering....thing, so I wasn't gonna have to put much effort into lugging it around.
"Well, I wonder which way is Aiur. Guess that's part of the punishment," I said out loud. "Cmon Slashy." I chose a random direction and headed out that way. After about 6 hours of walking in a pointless direction, I found myself in the middle of a forest and decided to make camp for the night. I looked through the supplies to see what my choices for dinner were....all I was was a 3 gallon jub of water and a 50 lb sack of corn nuts....yummy yummy. But I was starving so I really didn't care. I had a nice meal of corn nuts, while slashy ventured out and came back with a dead animal of some sort and proceded to hack the damn thing up in front of me. After eating I was tired and laid up against a tree for a pillow. Mr. Slashy had to goto the bathroom before he went to bed which was also disgusting to watch....kinda like a fish taking a shit (when's it gonna end???). He then came over to me and I fed him a few more malt balls. He then laid down on me and went to sleep. As cute as this was, it felt like I was holding a couple bowling balls in my lap, although I wasn't about to push him off and get him pissed. After my lap was numb, I was finally able to goto sleep.
I woke up when Slashy decided to jump off my lap and smack my helmet with his tail. It wasn't morning yet, but Slashy seemed disturbed. Then I heard something move off in the distance. It seemed to slowly grow closer to our camp! I could see bushes moving, but no animal or whatever it was. Then the movement stopped...and a voice that sounded British spoke.
"What the devil are you doing here?"
"Show yourself!" O commanded.
"Oh, I think not. That is my specialty you see. But, if it helps, I am standing right in front of you."
"Who are you."
"My name is Gregory. I am a stealth warrior, also known as a dark templar. May I assume your here to try and blow up Aiur with a nuke."
"How did you know?"
"My dear boy, I have met with all of the previous terrans that have come to our planet with visions of nuking Aiur...and I have killed them all!"
"Aw shit."
"Oh, but you see, I dare not use my stealth skills to beat you. Oh no. I would rather test your intellect, for there is no one greater than me! Therefore, I challenge you to a game of chess! If you refuse, then I will have to slice you up."
"Well, I guess I accept then huh!"
"Very good. Would you like some tea? I do always bring too much with me."
"Oh, why thank you very much."
Gregory made up some tea and pulled out a chess board and pieces, although it all just looked like it was floating around, him being invisible and all.
"One more thing," Gregory said, "In my version of chess, anything goes, best of luck to you."
I didn't know what he meant by that. He went first but didn't move anything and said it was my turn. I was ocnfused and moved one of my pieces. His second turn consisted of the same awkwardness. After about seven turns of doing nothing he said, "Check!"
"What the hell do you mean check?!?! You haven't moved a single piece all game!"
"On the contrary, my friend. I have secretly snuck a cloaked pawn behind your back and is about to assassinate your king! Oh how I love chess! Jolly good!"
I guess that's what he meant by anything goes. This pissed me off so I took my gun, pointed it to his king, and unloaded a couple rounds into it.
"Checkmate," i said, "I just blew the @#$% out of your sorry-ass king."
"OHHHHHHHHH fiddle sticks!!! You have won this round, clever terran, but I'll be back!!!" and with that he was gone. "What a poor sport," I thought to myself, "but he did make some good tea." Slashy, during all this, was still searching for the noise that disturbed him about 10 minutes ago. I called him back and fed him a few more malt balls. He quickly went back to sleep, but not on my lap this time. I laid up against the tree again and fell fast asleep, only wondering what would happen tomorrow.... |
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