"I know you're probably sad, because now you have to go back to watching Star Trek and hanging out with your mom. But don't worry, it'll be okay. Maybe one day down the road I'll get bored again. And maybe on that day, I'll write another battle report. Maybe even with someone as gay (but hot) as Dag again. Or maybe I'll die of liver problems at 25."
-SCN
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| FFA on Birthday II | | | Author: | | | IP: | GDFKB107XXXX | | Date: | 01/04/00 05:01 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 3, Min: 3
Lifetime Rating for Axegrinder01: 3.0000 |  | DISCLAIMER:
Let me try this again. If you like pictures this is not the report to read. Again no pictures. Sorry I am only through chapter 4 of my book on html. Pretty soon, they will be better.
Peace
AxeGrinder01
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BEGINNING:
It was the morning of my birthday, I knew today that my wife wouldn't be giving me a bunch of grief for firing up SC. So that is what I did. Mind you all that I just play Vanilla. I can see the comments already. WTF!!! What do you play vanilla sc well to make a long story short(TOO LATE!!!!), my first few days of BW showed me how bad I was. So I figured that I should learn the basics like crawling before sprinting. Without further unfunny comments, I logged on and began to play. I was in rare form. I lost my first 2 games quite easily and only one my first one because everybody dropped. Oh the fun on B.net!:)
Finally I found a game called ffa. I remebered all the cool reports that were on BR and thought this would be fun. What happened next shows the reason why getting o9ld isn't always better.
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FFA Pre Comment Chat:
When I entered the room I found that there were only two people in the game and that all the other slots were closed. My two adversaries were Minister[TNS] and ~Salty'Beast~. I asked why they only had three slots total and Minister[TNS] replied that it would funnier because they wouldn't have so many people attacking each other. "Whatever" I thought and selected my race. I though being zerg would be cool because I have recently been sucking pretty badly with toss and my favorites terrans. Other then that there wasn't alot of chatter and I typed in my normal "gl all" before the game started.
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Early Stages:
The map they had chosen for this awesome ffa is everybody favorite the Perfect Hunters. If you have to ask, yes I am getting sick of playing on this map but not a lot of vanilla sc players play anything else. I started at the three o'clock position. I started getting my drones mining and proceeded to have my overlord hold station over my entrance in case of an early rush. I pooled on 8, made an overlord,kept producing drones and finally put up 2 sunken colonies as def against a rush. The strat I decided upon finally at this point would be a massive zergling rush.
I plopped down a 2nd hatchery and started on an extractor to get upgrades. I had two lings standing around so I sent them to scout.
Ahhh, 4 blue zerglings attacked and killed my scout at the 12'o clock position. Iturned on the diplomat screen in order to see who that would be. I saw that it was Minister[TNS]. For simplicity sake, I refer to Minister = blue zerg.
Was that a yawn ~Talon~? I know I will get to the good part give me time.:)
No sight of beast yet. My second hatch was done and I was pumping out drones,zerglings and overlords. We I had a mass about 16 zerglings I attacked clicked them to blue zerg's base. My 16 lings responded and high-tailed it. However the only reached my choke point until they were destroyed by 6 photon cannons. Sh!t!!! My lings had knocked out 3 of them before they died. I pumped about another 16 and responded again. I took out a couple more now that I was microing however, I didn't get them all. However on this raid I noticed something. 4 blue zergling were standing around right underneath one of the photon cannons. Damn, I had been had. These two guys were playing me for a fool.(No comments from the peanut gallery).:P
I asked them "Why the hell did you call this a ffa when you were going to do a 2v1." You all are probably all saying, "you walked right into this". I did. You think age would teach you something. I could have just quit but A) it was my birthday, (2) I was a little steamed for being suckered, and (3) did I say I was steamed about being suckered???
Beast = toss. The toss player simply said that he and blue zerg were not on the same team. I fired back that I had seen better acting from a WWF wrestler.
Right now I had a lot of money. So I plopped down a 3rd hatch started 2 evolutions chamber and a hydralisk den. If these two chobofuckers wanted a fight, I would give them one.
------------------------------------------------------------Middle Game:
I was a little tense for the first couple of minutes thinking a rush shouyld be on the way. However I should have known from toss earlier comments "Like I am not even going to try, I am going to do something wierd" That something a little more exotic was up there sleeves.
I had produced about 10 hydralisks who were 1/1. I moved them a little closer to the choke for a early waring system. You are probably wondering where the overlord went? I had moved him when I though I had saw a blue zergling eneter my base and had forgotten to move him back.
My hydralisks never made it. They were attacked by a line of photon cannons that were stretching into my base. Holy Schimdt!! I knew I was in trouble now. I repeatedly made 15 hydralisks and ran them into the meatgrinder. Everytime I did this the probe would just make more.
Suddenly and idea flashed,okay simmered into my mind. Kill the PROBE!!!!!!!! The next 10 hyrdalisks pounded the cannons and my other 5 killed the probe. During this intense,hey it was for me at least :), micro the two chobofuckers were belittling me. I was steamed before but now I was plain mad. I can take a ribbing but this was going a little too far.
I asked them how long til the carrier strike. Blue zerg responded by saying that he was sending 36 mutas over in a sec. I pumped hydraslisks like mad and what happened next could be only discribed as the most overhyped event since the Phantom Menace.
2 that is right 2 blue mutas appeared into my peon line. I laughed I cried,I blew them into small bits of chitin and goo with my 13 2/2 hydras. I prepared for a dropped. This chobofucker (blue zerg) was getting on my nerves so I decided to target him first. I made 28 hydras and loaded them onto 7 overlords with speed upgrade and sent them up to my dearest friend. I ran into a group of 5 mutas and out raced them back to his base which had no anti-air def.
Eat this you bastard!!!!!!!! My 3/3 hydras landed and started taking names. I destroyed a hive, 8 drones, 1 sunken colony , one pool. I laughed, this moron really sucked. He had the gall to tell my raid didn't mean jack.. Well i proceeded south of his bae and guess what, I found jack. 2 sunkens, 3 hydras, one hatch and 2 spore colonies. As I obliterated his base, he kept begging his partner to make something and help him. HIs last words were "Help Me.........."
I was so broken up I almost couldn't help but laugh. One Chobofucker down,one to go.
Note, when I get mad, I get stubborn. Spine is probably saying go for guradians axe and you could kick those cannons from here to char. However I was thinking, I was still pissed. Well you will see......
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END GAME:
I collected 65 hyrdas and sent them into the photon wall. I cut through the wall like a hot knife thru butter. I reached the middle of the map and still had about 35 hydras. Did I stop to gather my forces. No I was an idiot and sent them to their doom. I sent my force at the only place my overlordshaven't covered which was the 9o clock position. Toss had one count them one carrier helping to defend his zillon cannons. The blimp was toast plain and simple. I lost all of the hydras except four. I still didn't penetrate his cannon barrier. I put down 4 more hatches and started to pump out nothing but hydras.
In a moment of sanity I made a spire. The applause goes up from the audience. I got 6 mutas out ans was in the process of getting a greater spire, when suddenly the folloinw message appeared,"Salty'Beast was disconnected".
I hate this because this either meant I was disconnected or it was a draw. I hit the continue playing button and leveled his base. He had all of the protoss building but he only had 6 peons. Can you believe that 6 peons and one reaver for luck.
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Epilogue/Comments:
(1) I have to control my temper or I get a little too fixated on one strat.
(2) Hindsight is 20/20. Next time I have to have my eyes open a little bit more.
(3) Yes I suck, but there are people in the world who can't even win a double team. I thought I was a loser.
(4) I hope this was a little enteraining even though I didn't include pictures.
(5) I expect only about a 3 but you have to start somewhere and hey it is not as bad as some of the 1's I have seen.
(6) Thank you for reading!!!!!!!!!
Peace
Axe |
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