"1v1 NO CANADIANS"
-|]agomar
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| Rumble in da Temple | | | Author: | | | IP: | ABD88465XXXX | | Date: | 12/20/99 08:12 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for Sweet_Vengeance: 8.0000 |  | Hi everyone,
Welcome to my first Battle Report. Today we are going to look at rather typical but still interesting Protoss/Zerg struggles from the lowest depths of the Battlenet ladder. That's right, one of those 1 v 1 newbie games. I can hear my eager audience sighing and wailing in anticipation even as I type. So lets let the strong drink flow, the dancing girls dance, and the blood spill as I present the…..
Rumble In Da Temple!!!!!
No, that's not right. It's only a newbie game after all. So let the non-alcoholic beer flow, let a cute cheerleader giggle, and bring out the Band-Aids and the rubbing alcohol, because here we go.
Anyhow, at the twelve o'clock position on the infamously overplayed Lost Temple map, resides the hero and reporter of these epic deeds. He's the newbie's newbie and a crafty Zerg cerebrate addicted to Hydra drops. Give it up for me….
Sweet_Vengeance (Zerg at12:00)
Starting at the 6:00 position is our luckless Protoss commander. He's a tactical wiz with a firm grasp of the doctrine of air superiority and great pride in either belonging to the ND clan or hailing from North Dakota. Let's welcome the villain with a rousing hiss. Give it up for…
KevND (Protoss at 6:00)
Chapter 1: A Teensy Eensy Bit of Blood
Now I know you have all been spoiled by those great-looking, graphics intensive reports that many others are producing. Sorry, but my talents don't lie in that direction. Even if they did, there would be very little worth seeing in this chapter though.
As the sun rises in the west on the ever unpredictable planet of the Lost Temple, our crafty Zerg cerebrate Sweet_Vengeance quickly pushes his drones to labor for the cause and wafts his incredibly slow single overlord towards the three o'clock position of the map. He quickly decides that a standard 6 pool ling rush build order is the best way to overpower the evil Protoss KevND. One possible factor that might have influenced his decision could be that that is the only Zerg build order he knows, except for the 4 pool rush. And everyone knows that the four pool rush is lame.
While Sweet_Vengeance is hatching his second overlord, the first reports that the three o'clock position is clear of Protoss taint. Sweet aims the first overlord at the natural to the 6:00 position, sails the second over to the northwest island, and spawns 6 zerglings. When they finally hatch, it looks like the overlords have barely moved. Sweet mutters something vile under his breath and resolves to upgrade them as quickly as he can. Then he sends his brave little line of zerglings off towards the 6:00 position, gambling that the KevND has landed there.
Lady Luck has smiled on Sweet_Vengeance, in a manner of speaking. The evil Protoss commander is indeed at the 6:00 position. Unfortunately, so are a forge, a gateway, a pylon, two proton cannons, and a mysterious silvery shimmery thing that looks like a third cannon warping. Undeterred, Sweet hurls the fragile bodies of the baby zerglings at the cold, hard crystal of the protoss pylon. KevND's cannons quickly make bloody splotches out of the young zerglings, who were thrust into a cruel war that they did not create and could not comprehend. That's the teensy eensy bit of blood in the chapter title. Unfortunately, it was all zergling blood.
KevND perhaps summed up this phase of the action best with this pithy comment on the cerebrate's tactical skill. He said, and I quote, "LOL."
Chapter 2: Play it again, Sam?
Many commanders would learn from their first setback. Did Sweet_Vengeance? Sadly, he did not. He laid down a second Hatchery just before tragic first battle in which his young zerglings died, spent a few short moments setting up gas mining operations, and then hatched 12 zerglings. Obviously, he is convinced that he NEARLY won that first battle and that KevND will not be doing anything remotely resembling upgrading his bases defenses in the near future. Ahh, the boundless optimism of the newbie. Sweet gathers his zerglings together and sends them on a slow march to the center of the map. One can tell that he is not in an optimistic frame of mind. He throws up a Hydra den, an Evolution chamber, and a third hatchery at the top of his ramp before he has zerglings proceed.
Remember that first overlord that Sweet sent to KevND's natural. The cerebrate commander finally takes a look to see what he can see, and notices, to his horror, that just above the natural a pylon has been warped in and several shimmery blobby things are surrounding it. Sweet quickly grabs up his zerglings, intent on replaying the mighty Battle of the Pylon that started this game with a greater number of forces. The first pylon warps in before his zerglings reach the area, however, and the zerglings are parked north of it, just out of sight of that little cannon island for early warning against ground attack. The overlord retreats to the south, where it can observe KevND's natural in peace.
Chapter 3: Still no action….
At this point, both players suddenly remember that there exist more technologically advanced killing devices than sticks and stones. Sweet_Vengeance throws down a second Evolution chamber, begins his Lair, and starts teching for 3/3 hydras. Worrying excessively about the possibility of an early horde of zealots and dragoons, he sinks two sunkens beside the hatchery at his main and starts cranking out hydralisks from his hatcheries. Meanwhile, over at Protoss central, KevND begins his quest for that Holy Grail of newbies, the 3/3 carrier horde.
Someone probably once told Sweet that good players scout. He fulfills the vow he made in chapter 1 to upgrade his overlords (speed and transport) and then starts sending them out to all the resource nodes on the edge of the map. The idea is that those 12 zerglings in the center can squelch an unguarded expansion if Sweet can see it quickly enough. Anyhow, he sends overlords to most of them, but somehow overlooks the natural expansion at three o'clock (not important) and the main at 9:00 (very important.)
After noticing no action anywhere on the map, (e.g. protoss expansion at the natural, no hordes of nasty zealots knocking at the hatchery on his ramp trying to sell vacuum cleaners, etc., etc.) Sweet puts down a fouth hatchery in his base and then expands to northwest island. He notices that he has built a lot of hydras and a lot of overlords to support them. Being a newbie he comes to the conclusion that it's time to tech to mutas, which he promptly does. But then he starts thinking over and over in his mind, "Hydras, Overlords. Hydras, Overlords. Hydras, Overlords." Something clicks. An epiphany is reached. A new paradigm is discovered. And Sweet starts loading 24 hydras on 6 overlords and floats them over to the southwest island.
Chapter 4: "Nice Carriers!"
And now we reach the sad point in our tale in which a reliable veteran unit gives his life for the greater glory of New Zergia. Overlord number 1, the cheery guy who yelled "all clear!" when he scouted the three o'clock, the one who warned the intrepid zerglings of the cannon island above KevND's natural, the one who kept a quiet eye on the natural at six, the one who was always willing to share a smile or a joke or a beer, died while scouting for the impending doom drop. Under the cover of the Fog of War, he crept in through KevND's deserted natural and empty ramp. He found cannons guarding the southeastern edge of the Protoss base and bravely crept north to see what was guarding the approach along the cliff edge. He found <> carriers. Three of them. So ends the life of overlord number 1.
Undaunted by this sad event, Sweet_Vengeance commented "Nice carriers!" "Thanx," the Protoss commander replied, basking in the knowledge of sure victory. Whereupon the crafty Zerg cerebrate landed his 24 hydralisks in KevND's natural, walked them up the ramp and around the cannons, and proceeded to turn the mighty warfleet of Aiur into so much scrap metal. Unfortunately, a couple more carriers arrived on the scene and the tide of the skirmish turned against the brave Zerg forces. Still it was a hollow victory for the Protoss commander. Only one of the carriers committed to battle survived.
Chapter 5: Ships that pass in the night….
Somebody famous once said that "Necessity is the mother of invention." Sweet_Vengeance must have heard this misquoted as "Consistency is the mother of victory." Elated by his moderate success in the last campaign, he returns his overlords to the main base and this time loads up eight of them with fully upgraded Hydralisks. He also has a small escort of 12 2/1 Mutalisks for this caravan. He is ready to give the coup de gras to the hated Protoss, take out that last carrier, and spit the base into the ground. This time he decides to land on the eastern verge of KevND's main, so he stages his forces to the northwest island. The Zerg main at twelve'oclock has finally been mined out. Wisely, Sweet decides to load up the hardworking drones on an overlord and ship them to the 9:00 main. Rather less wisely, he forgets to unload them and build a hatchery.
And so the Zerg armada is joyously launched, to the cheers, hisses and bodily noises of the various repellent creatures. They sail peacefully southward, waving courteously to Protoss carrier fleet that passes them on it's way northward. The Protoss commanders in turn doff their caps in polite respect to the Zerg.
Will Sweet_Vengeance EVER learn to use the attack command to move his units?
Anyhow, Sweet_Vengeance hastily peels off his Mutalisk escort and has them attack the stragglers in the Protoss fleet. Two carriers that are lagging behind die, as does a third that when the Mutalisks catch up with the fleet. Then the Mutalisks expire noisily.
Still determined, the Zerg overlords venture southward until they stumble across a second surprise. KevND is mining and building carriers out of the nine o'clock main. The Hydralisks are unceremoniously dropped right on the base. They take out a couple cannons and then proceed to spit everything they see into the ground. On the northwest island, the carriers are now doing their swarming thing unopposed. This is an excellent example of the Cold War doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction, by the way. Both expansions fall within seconds of each other.
Pop quiz, hot shot. The greater part of your army is cut off from your base by a force of five carriers that is uncomfortably near your hive. Your base is guarded by force consisting mainly of fifteen hydras. What do you do?
In this case, both combatants continue with their original plans. Sweet_Vengeance drops on the Protoss base and manages to take out the last stargate, a carrier that just finished building, the few goons that were there and most of the cannons before his newest force of hydralisks is beat down. Doesn't this guy EVER fight any battles that have survivors? The Protoss fleet, meanwhile finds that that ragtag band of hydralisk defenders is backed up by a defiler who gets off two well placed dark swarms. The last two of KevND's carriers limp home, their holds empty.
Chapter 6: Hydralisks Triumphant
After the slime, goo, tattered energy shields, and scrapped tinfoil are cleared, both commanders take stock of their situations. It isn't pretty. Both lost the expansion they were mining. Sweet_Vengeance belatedly remembers to unload his overlord at three and starts a hatchery. Money is tighter for KevND; he moves his two remaining carriers over to protect his natural but cannot afford to build a nexus there. Sensing the opportunity for a swift victory, the cerebrate throws everything but the kitchen sink at the cannon island north of the Protoss natural. The pylon falls quickly, leaving the cannons unpowered. The surviving Zerg Hydralisks move on to engage the carriers, which are easily destroyed. At this point, the outmatched Protoss commander leaves the game. No gg, but at least he didn't disconnect.
Thus ended the mighty Zerg/Protoss conflict. If you learned something important or useful from this report, well, I'm truly sorry and I promise it will never happen again. If you are still wondering when the pretty pictures will load, I swear the lag is all on your end. <> Thanks for reading. This was fun.
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