"OH LOOK IM ZILEAIS I GO TO MIT AND FIND IMBALANCES IN MY PANTS!!@# "
-hajooooooob
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| I'm not a mean guy. | | | Author: | | | IP: | 165.212.XXXX | | Date: | 12/15/99 03:12 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 2, Max: 7, Min: 7
Lifetime Rating for Moros: 6.7500 |  | I'm not generally a mean person. I'm just misunderstood. I'm only bad for a good reason.
My nephew wanted a 3 player ffa. I asked him and his friend if they were really up to it. Neb said, yeah, I guess so. The porkster said, bring that weak stuff. I was momentarily speechless. But my fingers kept typing a mile a minute. Okay, kids. Whatever you say.
I administered an ass whipping that I thought would give them the message that ffa'ing me was a really bad idea. No such luck. The porkster got all riled up. He wanted a rematch on a map of his choosing. Fine.
Moros: do you think it's going to turn out any different?
Porkster: I know I can beat you
Neb: I think we ought to play 3v2c, okay?
Porkster: no. ffa. Blood bath. Let's go.
Neb: well, I guess so
Moros: k
Off we went to Blood bath. I drew random/yellow protoss, lower left. Porkster got random/red terran upper right. And Neb got random/blue zerg, lower right.
Being protoss, and knowing that the porkster was a king of the cheese rush, I went with a 5 probe, pylon rush build. No sixth probe. Get that gateway up asap, 2 zealots to hold off the anticipated 6 zergling blitz. By the time I got zealot number 1, both players had scouted my location. So I knew I was in for some blood letting.
Once burned. Twice shy. Having thrashed both of them in an earlier game, neither one chose to attack early. I was a bit surprised. But I took advantage of the calm to boom to goons, and observers, opting to bypass cannons. Using the tried and true strategy of scout, scout, scout, I quickly discovered a massed m&m army with tank support taking up the middle of the map.
I guess they were waiting for a bus, because they didn't do anything. I looked at my 12 zealots and figured that I needed some help quick. What to do? Scouts? Too slow to build. Goons? On the way. Third gateway under construction. But I needed to make sure that the terrans didn't crash into my main. What were they doing just hanging out in the middle of the map?
Another observer gave the score. The pork meister had grabbed the upper left expansion. These guys were here to guard, not to attack. Well. Okay, then. Let's see them guard.
I shot all 12 of my upgraded zealots right past them into his expansion and commenced to tear things up. Didn't even wave "hello." Even though he lives on the other side of town I could hear his jaw hit the floor. As the m&m's turned to chase the speedy zeelies, goons attacked their rear. Targeting the tanks first, I turned on the medics while the zealots stabbed the marines and firebats. When the smoke cleared, he had turned and run, while I lost 9 zealots and some goons. He floated his cc, but couldn't escape the goons that I sent over to secure the area.
Porkster: why don't you guys attack each other?
Moros: because neb is cowering in the corner
Neb: yes, I am
Porkster: what?
Neb: cowering
The porkster ran back to his base and secured the entrance in usually terran style, lots of turrets and tanks and bunkers. You know. The turtle routine. Meanwhile, neb had an impressive array of scourges, ultras, hydras, mutas and zerglings. No queens. It would have helped him a lot if he had some queens.
Once again, scout, scout, scout. My goons could not crash the turtle wall o death. What to do? What else? Corsairs. Six should be enough. A little d-web research while we're waiting. And in the mean time, thank you very much for the free expansion, porkster. He sent a couple of wraiths the chase my zealots around. So I put in some cannons, finally. Bye, bye wraiths.
This is December, 1999, and I've played the sc/bw long enough to know that there are counters for every type of unit. And I pretty much know what they are. With a little patience, and some well timed distractions, I was able to put together only the units I needed, and not waste time and resources.
Okay. I wasted some resources. I urped up some dt's to go against the terrans. Dt's aren't much use against zerg, but you can really cause havoc with terrans. I zipped over and d-webbed porkemon's bunkers. Then a thought emerged. What the hell good are dt's when you just d-webbed the bunkers? None. Absolutely none.
Click on dt. "I'm waiting." Yeah. So am I, smartass. "I wish I had a mouth so I could have a smoke while I'm waiting." Oh, shut up.
I sent in the goons right behind the corsairs.
Porkster: why don't you guys attack each other?
Moros: okay
Neb: what?
I sent the corsairs after the zerg air units with the intent of popping all of neb's balloons. Not so fast. Scourge cloud on the radar screen. Send in some extra goons and zealots. Aw, what the hell. Send in the dt's. With all the wild running around, these guys can still get in some pretty good licks against zerg.
Now I'm stomping both of them pretty hard. I have 4 gateways pumping goons, zealots, dt's and templars. The corsairs are used up now. No need for any more. Neb is actually putting up one hell of a fight. I can't get past his choke. So, I do a truly mean thing. Truly mean. Really cold blooded.
I pull all my units out of porkemon's base and turn on neb.
Porkster: come on. Finish me off
Moros:
Porkster: hey. I'm right here. Hurry up.
Moros:
Porkster: what are you waiting for?
Neb: he's busy killing me
Moros: what?
Porkster: I said come get me
Moros: oh. Okay.
I didn't. I just let him hang. Like I said, I'm just misunderstood. I was busy. That's all. Just a little preoccupied.
The fight between me and neb turned into a bar room brawl. For a relative newbie, he knew enough about zerg to have 3 hatcheries pumping any kind of unit he had the resources for. Since porkernator had nothing more than a burning starport and a supply depot, I wasn't worried about an attack from him. I was getting a little concerned about the loses I was taking from neb.
I finally got my wits about me and got a few more corsairs. I tried to keep up the pressure on his main, then turned the corsairs loose on his overlords. Without supply/control, his army gradually dwindled.
No whining and crying from these guys. GG's were exchanged by all. Total time about 18 minutes.
We haven't played ffa since.
Happy Holidays, everyone.
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