.Greiver.: Yellow Protoss at 4:00

Probably very few people notice, but Prancer and Dancer are actually twins. No, not identical, although there is a strong family resemblance.

With a little stage makeup and costuming, they can and did get away with being identical twins back when they used to do their act. Of course, this was hundreds of years ago when they toured as hoofers with Bob Hope's Holiday USO troupe, bringing seasonal entertainment to the front lines from Angincourt to the Battle of Hastings.

Unfortunately, during one Christmas show a hunter thought it was deer season and opened fire at the stage, bringing to a close any future with the touring show. Out of work, out of show biz, and out of luck, Prancer and Dancer were returning to their native homeland when they saw a recruitment sign announcing that the North Pole Village was looking for anyone with talents that could be used at Christmas.

        IceD-ThE-CaR: Red Protoss at 1:00

Probably very few people notice, but Prancer and Dancer are actually twins. No, not identical, although there is a strong family resemblance.

With a little stage makeup and costuming, they can and did get away with being identical twins back when they used to do their act. Of course, this was hundreds of years ago when they toured as hoofers with Bob Hope's Holiday USO troupe, bringing seasonal entertainment to the front lines from Angincourt to the Battle of Hastings.

Unfortunately, during one Christmas show a hunter thought it was deer season and opened fire at the stage, bringing to a close any future with the touring show.

Out of work, out of show biz, and out of luck, Prancer and Dancer were returning to their native homeland when they saw a recruitment sign announcing that the North Pole Village was looking for anyone with talents that could be used at Christmas.

      -=JSH=-: Blue Terran at 10:00

This thunderous reindeer got his name because he's been struck by lightning so much that he is now actually electrically charged! It all started in his early childhood when he grew up on the highest peaks of the Swiss Alps. The peaks are so close to the sky that every time a storm cloud passed by it would ZAP-POW! Blitzen right on his antlers.

Blitzen eventually was able to get radio and television stations on his antlers because of all the electricity. On top of that he started to point north all the time, just like a compass!

One day, Blitzen decided to follow his magnetic attraction and go the North Pole. When he got there, Santa immediately saw the potential in Blitzen and made him a part of his reindeer team.

Now Blitzen serves as Santa's compass, radio back to the North Pole, and lightning rod in case they have to fly through storm clouds!

      Kefka~LiZarD: Kefka~LiZarD Zerg at 11:00

A dapper reindeer from Los Angeles who gave up his illustrious film career to help pull Santa's sleigh. But don't let that fool you into believing that Dasher's life is motivated by self-sacrifice, on the contrary!

Pulling Santa's sleigh has made Dasher even more famous! He spends most of the "off season" either tanning his hide on the beach or making films with Venison Studios - a movie company that he owns and operates all by himself.

The other reindeer get upset with Dasher because he never shows up to sleigh riding practice. In fact, Dasher is notorious for only showing up at the North Pole by private jet a few hours before Santa's take off!

Dasher is the best flying reindeer in the world, and that's why Santa made him Captain of the reindeer team. If he wasn't the best, Santa would have given him the boot (or hoof) a long time ago.

Some of you may be wondering where that other reindeer, Donder is. Well right now she's of in her usually bitchy mood. She's all upset because she does not have a song of her own, like Rudolph. (His lawyers would not let me post his info here, sorry)

After 4 pages of introductions, here's the battlereport! (And some other stuff I was too lazy to take out)

Try to find all 11 santas!

As the game started everyone called out "no rush" and started on their quick build orders. Everyone, that is, except -=nerdcraft=- who stupidly decided to double hatch. (Where is he gonna get the minerals to support two hatcheries? Each main had 5 crystals) Headless_Clown was the first one to get his spawning pool up, and rushed .Greiver. with 6 zerglings, ::Nobody:: also rushed .Greiver. with his first marine. Headless_Clown killed the stupid marine for the first blood, then proceeded to kill the gateway and 1 zealot, before being called off to fight IceD-ThE-CaR. 4 Headless_Clown zerglings tore into IceD-ThE-CaR's base, where they were slaughtered by mass of probes and a zealot.

    Headless_Clown continued to rush IceD-ThE-CaR, and a few of ::Nobody::'s marines took out .Greiver.s main. On the other side of the map, -=JSH=-: was sandwiched between two offensive sunkens, why he impatiently waited for a factory to finish building a factory. He could mine with only 4-5 scvs out of 3 of his patches, but that wouldn't be enough for long, as Kefka~LiZarD had just started morphing their hatcheries into lairs. (I feel sorry for the drones who have to bring minerals to that thing, it looks so UGLY when its morphing) With a lair, he could be the only one with air, and easily take over the game if not dealt with quickly. While waiting for his lair to complete, Kefka~LiZarD put up 5 sunken colonies to fear the weak marines.

-=nerdcraft=- wanted an expansion so he decided to take the bottom left starting location, which was the only empty one on the entire map. Unfortunately, ::Nobody:: could see that base from his choke, and just waited for the hatchery to morph, putting -=nerdcraft=- out 300 minerals. Too bad he didn't have any medics, because -=nerdcraft=- had been creating zerglings non-stop, and it's a short walk from his base. The marines perished before killing the hatchery.

IceD-ThE-CaR decided to counter Headless_Clown's earlier attack, (Headless_Clown had 7 drones mining at this point, and no gas) so he sent several of his probes along with 4 zealots rampaging into Headless_Clown's main base, where he killed 2 sunkens, all of the drones, and damaged one of the sunken colonies heavily. One of the sunkens that IceD-ThE-CaR killed had been destroying his probe line, so it was given priority over others.

   Even though Kefka~LiZarD was the first to the lair tech tree, -=nerdcraft=- was the the first one to have mutalisks. Kefka~LiZarD got his just a split second later, and he sent his to IceD-ThE-CaR's probe line immediately. (He also got the added bonus of taking out some of Headless_Clown's drones) ::Nobody:: who had failed with 8 marines at -=nerdcraft=-'s expansion earlier was now trying again, this time with a few medics to back it up. The expansion fell all too easily to stimmed marines. The 5 mutalisks -=nerdcraft=- had were no match for the marines, and -=nerdcraft=-'s sunken-less main fell with only one marine causualty. (At the same time this was going on, ::Nobody:: was expanding to where .Greiver. was to begin with)  IceD-ThE-CaR had somehow lost his entire base to 12 zerglings, and was now telling everyone how they should probe rush to avoid offensive sunken =[

My how this game is moving along!

   Remember -=JSH=-:? He has those sunken colonies on either side of his base, which now has no problem underneath him, thanks to ::Nobody::'s intense stim pack skill, that took out -=nerdcraft=-. Well, now -=JSH=-: has a tank firing on two sunkens which are really pissing him off. (Kefka~LiZarD) To bad he had such a poor economy, because a few more marines would have stopped the 6 mutalisks from taking down the tank before it finished the second sunken.   Unbeknownst to anyone except IceD-ThE-CaR and Headless_Clown, IceD-ThE-CaR was out of the game, for good. All he had remaining was a single archon, and a few buildings. (No probes and no nexus)

     ::Nobody:: now has Griever's old main secured. (Told you this was moving fast!) and is apparently setting up a major siege in the middle, which will secure him the game with no ifs ands or buts. Both Headless_Clown and Kefka~LiZarD had a hive, but Headless_Clown also had a Greater Spire when the pain of ::Nobody::'s siege started to appear. Just as the tanks started firing on the outer most buildings, Headless_Clown was morphing 3 gaurdians. The tanks did some damage, but were unable to take down the hive or the Greater Spire, which were all that remained, along with the 3 gaurdians.

   Kefka~LiZarD also had his Greater spire up, and was morphing guardians, but he had so many of them that he was a shoe-in for victory. His guardians (Easily 9, he hadn't spent much on gas, and he got gas almost right after the spawning pool went up) Kefka~LiZarD started roaming the map for things to kill, and easily destroyed the terran siege in the middle with only one loss. ::Nobody:: was hurridly constructing a starport, (in the same manner -=JSH=-: did with his tanks earlier) Having no chance at getting out alive, ::Nobody:: conceded to Kefka~LiZarD, who immediately took over -=nerdcraft=- and -=JSH=-:'s old bases. (It should be noted that -=JSH=-: tried to sneakily land his barracks and make a starport, he had a floating factory, but it was taken down by the pummeling of acid spores)

   Thinking he had won, Kefka~LiZarD started producing very few troops, such as hydralisks, while Headless_Clown secretly built up a contending force of guardians and mutalisks.

   Kefka~LiZarD attacked Headless_Clown's main eventually, when he had his economy secured. Too bad for Kefka~LiZarD, Headless_Clown had made 7 guardians, and easily dominated his ground forces. Scourge were produced by both sides, but niether player got any good use out of them.

  Somehow, Headless_Clown had managed to get IceD-ThE-CaR's base, and .Greiver.'s base, without much conflict from Kefka~LiZarD. He tried to expand to the empty base, but a few of Headless_Clown's mutalisks stopped it before it had even begun. Mutalisks, guardians, and scourge came from both sides, meeting for huge battles at each of the 6 bases they owned, atleast twice. Just when the last mineral was mined from Kefka~LiZarD's final expansion, 16 guardians thundered into Headless_Clown's main, taking out the hive and the greater spire, and the hatchery at IceD-ThE-CaR's main before FINALLY being killed by 7 mutalisks. Kefka~LiZarD conceded to Headless_Clown, claiming that he now had 29 minerals left, and a scourge doesn't exactly beat a half dozen mutalisks.

Winner: Headless_Clown

(And the person who gets a lump of cold for causing me to go into dnd mode, Griever!)

Lessons Learned (Or things I'm telling you that you might need to know, I'm testing you in the comments)

Hahaha I told you that this game wouldn't be short! 48 minutes! (Which is nothing compared to the 3 hour game that I played afterwords, which wasn't even over at that time!)

This map has too much minerals

Kefka is dumb =[ he gets coal too

I'm gonna get Headless_Clown a furby for christmas! Or the Diablo 2 beta, whichever he wants!

Do I get a 10.0 just for writing the first 7ffa battlereport? Or does that go to the first 9 ffa?

Somebody Did This

(haha!)