"...believe me, I eat this shit up..."
-YourRoleModel
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| 3 vs. 1 Jagged Cliffs | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 11/15/99 11:11 | | Game Type: | Other | | Labels: | Famous Reporter(1), Rare game(1), Problem: Broken Images(1) | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 1, Max: 8, Min: 8
Lifetime Rating for Heartcutter: 7.5238 |  | Map: Jagged Cliffs (Use Map Settings)
9:00 - MoThEr_NaTuRe
3:00 - Heartcutter (Green Terran), ROSSI (Teal Terran), De_Marco (Red Terran),
Commander Hearcutter surveyed the scene...
Beautiful planet,
kind of warm,
a little windy.
Time for Terran to dominate once again!!
Deon, Cletus, Bork and Annie were still inebriated from last night. It seems that the insanely raging partying we did the night before had taken it's toll. I, however was in top shape. After chatting up to Georgia (10+), and Courtney (10+), I had good dreams of being nibbled upon rather lavaciously. The drive to the embarcation point was also quite nice. It was time for some beatdown.
The first hurdle we encountered was the cliff. Approximately 60 feet of vertical terror seperated us from the beach. This was a huge monster that required utmost balance and concentration. We scaled down it, surfboards intact, and without loss of life.
OK, time to dominate!
De_Marco summed up what we were facing...
'Today, it's all about becoming familiar with the ocean. Remeber you have 2 things over the ocean; time and your mind.'
'What the hell are you talking about?' I replied
'You have to use your mind to make sure you position yourself in the correct position on the wave. And you have time to adjust yourself and set yourself up for a ride. MoThEr_NaTuRe will kick your ass in every other respect.'
'That whack bitch doesn't have a prayer. I'll turbo newbie her ass if she gives me half a chance.'
So I proceeded to get into my wetsuit on the beach. I gave a full-moon to my opponent during this build-up phase. She responded in kind with waves that included many foamy white streaks.
'Come get some!' MoThEr_NaTuRe taunted...
After learning how to get up on the board, we moved out into the ocean. The water was cold, but with the wetsuit, it was fairly comfortable. Funny how there were no other surfers on the beach or in the water...
I thought to myself: This is just like scuba, except you don't sink. I'm gonna...whoa......
And I learned my first lesson. Closing my mouth when a wave hits.
So I'm roughly armpit deep when Alex says 'Go for it!'
I turn it around toward the beach and start moving with the wave. It carries me toward the beach. I'm still lying on my stomach, but I'm moving rather rapidly.
'Hey, I'm the man!'
'No, your punk ass is mine...' replies MoThEr_NaTuRe
As I start to paddle back out, MoThEr sends wave upon wave with no break. I drink alot of ocean.
For the better part of 10 minutes, I take high waves in the forehead, while I try to get out. As I shake the water out of my eyes from the last big wave, I look up and see something worse than Guardians, worse than Carriers...
I see an 8 foot wave.
And I'm lying in the trough.
I scramble off the board and attempt to get under the wave. The wave has other ideas and decides to give me a ride. A ride over the falls.
'Call me a whack bitch, you wanna-be-flyboy?'
I first get a faceful of ocean, followed by a sort of crushy-like feeling.
'Hey you! Wake up! I'm not done with you yet!'
And to get my attention, MN takes my surfboard and decides to slap me upside the head. Unfortunately, it's with the fin part of the board, and it opens up my head.
'Shit. First omnipresence, then Mark4, and now you. I can't buy a break. I should have never picked up Age of Kings.'
So I wander out of the surf with a salty taste in my mouth and a stinging sensation on the top of my head. Commander Heartcutter gets bitchslapped again.
Lessons Learned:
Vultures require lots of micro
Age of Kings is B.A.D. for your Starcraft skills
Protect your peon line with bunker/turret/tank.
Chances are you'll be weak at your first time trying anything worthwile.
*Don't put your fate in the hands of Mother Nature. Chances are she'll clap.
P.S. My home DSL gets installed on Nov 18th. I WILL be back, and I WILL be crushing people again shortly thereafter.
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