"Fungee has expunged me from his hallowed friends list. Why? Because I made him add me to his MSN list under the e-mail address 'fungeeisgay@hotmail.com.'" - |]agomar's Hardcore 4FFA
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| Microsoft VS Macintosh | | | Author: | | | IP: | XXXX | | Date: | 11/08/99 02:11 | | Game Type: | Starcraft | | Labels: | none | | Report Rating: , # of Ratings: 5, Max: 9, Min: 8 Lifetime Rating for WilliamWC3: 9.0882 |      |
BattleReports.com
Yes, I know. Theme
BR's, how "done". Well what I lack in originality I make up
for in redundancy. Besides one of the players name was C|osed.
Oh yes and if you haven't figured it out already (by the
little "2% complete" in the status bar) this BR has lots of
pics so hang tight, its worth it. Anyway, without further
delay I present you with
Microsoft (Gorag) Purple
Zerg 6:00 |
VS |
Macintosh (C|osed) Yellow
Protoss 12:00 |
|
Dark
Temple |
 The
game begins innocently enough with the beast like Bill Gates
AKA Satan being the greedy little bastard that he is,
expanding to his natural with his 10th drone. Meanwhile in the protoss encampment
Macintosh is doing the typical dumb Mac thing and starting the
game off with a pylon, a forge and two cannons. Though these
cannons are able to scare off the MS flying spy their presence
alone is all the recon the fledgling corporation needs. Bill
orders up another hatchery, and being the tech weenie that he
is begins upgrading the base.
Now as the Lair nears
completion I notice no hyrdalisk den in the now busy zerg base
so I naturally assume that our good friend, Mr. Gates will
mutalisk rush the inferior operating system and quickly
eliminate it. However the Microsoft genius has no such
intention. When the Lair finishes two structures are began in
the Seattle based infestation. One is a hyrdalisk den and the
other a queens nest. Now I think to myself hmmm.... Late
lurkers and cracklings? He hasn't built a single zergling yet.
In fact he hasn't built anything other than drones and
overlords. What does this ecentric CEO have in mind? Only time
would tell. Macintosh's plans are however quite apparent.
After constructing two early cannons, the computer
manufacturer has built three gateways and is clearly going for
the late-ass-zealot-rush popularized by Big Game Hunters
players.
 Now
as about 8 zealots finally make their way to the MS
headquarters I come to a startling conclusion; Gates still
doesn't have any troops. His queens nest is done but the base
is not upgrading. The free larvae in the main have been turned
into eggs and 3 drones in the natural as if sensing a
disturbance in the force begin morphing creeps just before the
zealots burst onto the scene. The creeps are not able to convert to
sunken colonies in time to save the expansion and the eggs in
the main burst open revealing MS's first military unit (if you
can call it that) to be the speedy little spell caster
herself, the queen. He wastes no time researching spells
either because by the time the zealots have finished off the
expansion and been run around the main by Bill's supply line a
few times the first queen is ready to broodling. Now at this
time Gates starts using that brain he's so famous for and
makes some zerglings to help eliminate the threat. With the
help of some new sunkens, broodling and the zealots' extreme
interest in the hydralisk den the zerglings are able to take
out the remaining zealots.
At this time Macintosh
decides that those queens are too much for his zealots and
expands to the 3:00 main while he sits back and tries to think
of an appropriate counter to the queen rush. Microsoft however
quickly sends his queens on the offensive and broodlings what
zealots Macintosh has left finding, as they scout, the 3:00
expansion. Bill is content to let that stay for a short while
as he retakes his natural and begins the upgrade to hive.
After turning 2 of the zealots at the expansion to broodlings,
Bill does try to send 10 zerglings in but unfortunately the
number of cannons had just doubled as Macintosh anticipated
the attack and the 'lings are unable to do serious damage.
 Meanwhile,
Macintosh deciding that the correct counter to queens is
cannons and corsairs adds several cannons to both his main and
his expansion and adds 2 stargates to his main. Unfotunately
the price of all those cannons is finally
beginning to take a toll as he is only able to build a few
corsairs before production halts. As corsairs roam through the
Microsoft Headquarters chasing speed upgaded overlords, the
adrenaline upgrade for Bill's zerglings finishes and 2 control
groups of zerglings who had had a bit too much caffeine roll
through Macintosh's 8 cannons at his 3:00 expansion.
Gates has meanwhile been able to get up spores and
hyrdas at both his main and his natural to chase away the
pesky corsairs. Macintosh seeing the uselessness of his
corsairs reinitiates production of zealots, takes his natural,
and makes one all purpose scout. This scout proceeds to do
just that as it, accompanied by one corsair, is sent off to
the bottom right island where it finds a new expansion
starting. Unfortunately the scout is killed by a morphing
spore colony and the corsair is forced to flee.
Seeing
that he will have to accept the island expansion, Macintosh
mirrors MS's move and takes the top-left island while whining
to the US Justice Department that Windows is copyright
infringement. MS, however, tipped off by the ever present
queens, sees the island expansion, top-left and loads up 3
overlords full of hydras. These overlords unfortunately choose
to run right pass the corsairs though one of them is parasited
and are therfore forced to unload their contents several times
before reaching the island. Though the overlords are killed
they are able to land most of the 12 hydras on the island
which proves to be more than enough to take out the
defenseless expansion.
 Macintosh
badly needing an expansion is now forced to take his mineral.
In the mean time the stargates have been put to good use with
the production of two "sleek" looking imacs which we'll refer
to as carriers or blimps. These carriers attempt to stall the
destruction of the island expansion but are chased away by the
hydras. They are able to hold off a small attack on the new
mineral natural, however. Atleast that is until a defiler
shows up...
Well
you can see what happened there. One blimp is shot down before
the storm can take its toll. By the way Macintosh has
recruited a small army of lawers we'll call them templars or
psionic storm son's of bitches, to combat the advancing
swarm.
Now at this time a parasited scouting corsair
notices a new expansion at the 9:00 main. Several zealots and
dragoons are sent out to try to stem the tide of this growing
infestation. Unforunately they are ensnared and met by several
hydras at the top of the ramp. They try to flee but due to the
strange green gook impeding their motion few survive. Pleased
with this sucess, Bill, in an attempt to corner the market, expands
again, this time to the 3:00 main. Macintosh now makes another
attempt to regain the top-left island with his remaining
carrier and one shuttle with a pair of templars. Unfortunately
due to some good micro on the part of Microsoft the templar
psi storms his own blimp into oblivion.


 Now
Macintosh, seeing creep springing up all over the place and
only having his two naturals himself, decides that the reason
for his failure is that his stategies aren't quite bizarre
enough. He then quickly formulates the arbiter zealot attack.
12 zealots and one arbiter are dispatched to take care of 3:00
expansion. The arbiter is chased off by 3 spores but the
zealots make short work of the otherwise defenseless base.
Reinforcements soon arrive, however and the zealots are taken
out while the arbiter is parasited and later killed. Though
Macintosh grieves for the loss of his apple G2 arbiter he is
not discouraged and soon has another one ready to go. In the
mean time Bill has sent zerglings under cover of dark swarm at
the cannons of Mac's mineral natural. Unfortunately for the
now giant software company, dark templars make quick work of
the zerglings who lack overlord support.
Now for
Macintosh's second arbiter-zealot attack. Mac sends his new
arbiter down across the middle of the map towards Gates' main.
Unfortunately it is seen by a passing overlord and still more
unfortunately Bill has a couple of cards up his sleeve. Not
only is ie4.0 an integrated part of Windows 98 but he has also
built 3 control groups of mutalisks. One of these groups
immediately begins attacking the arbiter but before it can be
killed it manages to doom 20 zealots to a similair fate by
recalling them into Bill's base. The zealots succeed
wonderfully in running around the base like headless chickens
but that is about all before the mutalisks are able to
eliminate the threat.

After HQ is secure the mutalisks gather over the
top-left island where several hydras are still stranded. On
the way the mutalisks encounter a parasited corsair which has
been scouting for both sides for most of the game now, and
kill it. As a side note on this battle an innocent kakaru is
damaged by the corsair's splash damage. Also the greedy
monopolist has retaken his 3:00 expansion and built hatcheries
at the 3:00 natural, the 9:00 natural and the 9:00 mineral.
Mac now attempts to drop a templar and kill the mutas gathered
at the island but suceeds only in losing his templar.
Macintosh, now clearly upset by the situation sends 8 zealots
off at the 9:00 mineral which is not being mined or showing
any activity. The zealots manage to kill off the inactive
hatchery before mutalisks kill them off.
Now in the
upper-left island 2 of the control groups of mutalisks are
morphed into guardians. These guardians are spread out well but
Macintosh has not been idle. He now has about 11 corsairs and
8 psionic storm sons of bitches. Most of the guardians are
eliminated while the remaining mutalisks morph frantically
into devourers. These come out just in time to save the last
few guardians and eliminate the corsair threat for good. Now
still more zerglings are sent at the now mined out mineral
natural. Unfortunately those dark templars are still there and
the overlords still aren't. Now Bill gets smart and finally
brings an overlord, dark swarms and takes out the mineral with
cracklings.

MS
now owns the map and its just a matter of breaking into the
templar / cannon defence of the stubborn Macintosh. Gates
tries dark swarming the cannons in the natural and sending in
a few 'lings but they are quickly torn to pieces by a superior
number of zealots. Now Bill begins morphing of all things,
lurkers in the middle of the map where he has gathered an
assortment of troops. He dark swarms again and goes in and
burrows. Unfortunately they all get psi stormed by the ever
present templar. He is, though, able to reduce the number of
cannons to two and with a follow up group of hydras he takes
out yet another empty base. Next he tries dark swarming the
ramp and sending his veteran hydras up it to see whats going
on. All they find is more templars and more of that damn
lightening however.
But now Gates has finally got it.
He'll integrate his operating system, office suite and web
browser all in one. It will be so massive he'll call it
utralisk '99 and it will laugh in the face of psi storm. (bear
with me here) Three ultralisks thunder up the ramp folowed by
an assortment of just about every troop zerg can make. The
templars finally run out of energy and the base is overrun.
Macintosh sticks around until his last pylon is gone like the
stubborn bastard he is. The US Government claims Gates has a
monopoly and in response Bill says the government is too
strong and proceeds to break it up into several small
pieces.
Lessons Learned - Forge before gateway,
they'll attack in late May.
- Always Storm the
Swarm
- Queen rush OWNS!
- IMacs look cool but
are dumb
- Bill Gates is the Devil
- I'd just
like to say that again; Bill Gates is the Devil
Game Statistics # of TurboChobo's: 0 #
of Tank Pushes: 0 # of Hydra Drops: 1
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