Featuring: Azhure
vs
Evastorm

TROUBLE BREWING:-

The map was Catwalk Alley, a Blizzard map we've
both played on before and the terms were one on one.

NOTE: Normally I beat Eva
regularly with my favourite Protoss, but my mouse was playing up so he
felt up to the challenge.

ALSO NOTE: He'll tell you I'm lying when he
reads this - don't believe a word he says! }:)

MADNESS ON THE CATWALK:-

My probe, whom I called... uhh... geez. You nohunters
guys have stolen all the good peon names! :( Fine - his name was Yankee!

Anyway, Yankee found Eva's
base bottom left and thus began the insanity.

I noticed that Eva
hadn't taken his gas geyser yet and I just happened to have a spare 100
minerals. I -could- have spent it on a second zealot I suppose, but
Eva
didn't have any zlings
yet and besides - I was in the mood to annoy someone =)

Insanity sometimes pays off though - Eva
must have blown a fuse in his head or something, because he took ALL his
drones off minerals
to attack it! Maybe he really wanted early gas? Heh...

That was insane move numero deus, but it didn't
last long, he realised his mistake quickly and waited until his first zlings
before killing it. I got a chuckle out of it though, and Yankee got time
to run away and park himself in
Eva's
choke to watch for the inevitable zerglings.

DAY OF THE ZERGLING:-

Then came what could only be insane moves 4 and
5. Kinda like the Rambo movies. :) A solid wave of twelve zerglings
hit my choke. By this time I had 7 zealots
there and they had bug-on-a-spit for lunch. No malt liquor though Mark4,
sorry. ;)

Following right on the heels of that mob, came
another
twelve.
This time I had a dozen psi-blade-wielding
boyz (hey! I sound like a bgh newbie!) waiting
for them and I didn't even bother watching the battle that time. :)

OH CANNONBAUM:-

I planted a pylon
and followed by creeping cannons
forward. =)

At the same time as I was executing my insanely
late cannon push on the dastardly Eva
expansion, I figured out-mining him would be a good idea and sent another
annoying Yankee
to the top left position. While 3 cannons
simultaneously warped in within range of Eva's
drones (on the
right side), I planted a Nexus
with the last of my bank account and hotkeyed the location of my push to
watch the fun. =)

Of course, Eva 
still had only
zerglings
at this time. I think he was trying to force me into turtling while he
teched. Didn't work. }:)

What would have been insane move #7 ran
smack into my cannons and got blasted into a dozen pools of
red
goo. I chuckled.

Another wave of 12 ran smack into them and got
gooified as well. I laughed.


The half-dozen probes
I Maynarded from my main to my expansion via the top middle expansion ran
into
sunkens.
I stopped laughing. He'd built an expansion right between my two! And it
had more sunkens than
you could poke a stick at!

Yup, insane move #8.

I wrote my push off as a fun, but ultimately useless
endeavour and moved to the more pressing problem of this pain in the proverbial
butt. Before I did though, I sent the Yankee who had been building my push
and got him to build a blockade of cannons
at the X choke due north of the bottom middle expansion. Now that would
keep Eva
entertained for awhile. =)

THE INSANITY CONTINUES
(NARF!):-

"It seems he didn't know about the top left
expansion. Elementary my dear Watson."

"You are soooo gay Sherlock."

Unfortunately, the sunkens
were just barely within range of the Hatchery,
and though it only had about 10% health left, the tongues got my zealots
before they could kill it. :(

Ah well - their lives for Aiur - they admitted
it themselves.

Oh hang on... was that? Could it be...? Yes...
yes I think that was insane move #9 folks!

Anyway, by this time I had a Stargate up for corsairs
to combat the guardians I knew were coming and I warped in a Beacon for
disruption web. As soon as it was done I took my by-now 5 corsair
and 'webbed the sunkens
before annihilating the expansion with Goons
amidst Eva's
cries of "CHEESE!" and  "NO FAIR!".
Ah, music to my ears. =)

Especially as he still hadn't killed my push.
The periodic
hydra
assults were picking them off slowly, but the cannons
were coming dangerously close to being cost-effective now. =)

I sent a shuttle loaded with four zealots
into the back end of Eva's
base via the expansion spot directly above him. I didn't drop them though,
due to a pack of guardians
I noticed hovering above the nearly-depleted minerals. Hmm...

"Obviously, what is needed here is more corsair
from Azhure, Watson. Elementary my dear."

"Look! Stop calling me 'dear' you homo!"

"Why don't you both shut up?!"

"Who are you?"

"Azhure's brain."

*gasp* "Our creator?"

"Yeah, umm... you haven't seen Azhure's head
around here anywhere have you...?"

Listening to the strange voices in my head I upped
ship production and took the top middle expansion. Soon I had 6 corsair
and 2 scouts.
Then the guardians
hit my old push. Needless to say, the cannons went down, but now my rapid-response
air fleet was
en route. They met the Guardians
over the cannon blockade at the X choke and soon little bits of crab
were raining down on the platform below. Still, Eva
got a drone out
and took the expansion directly above him. After killing the pylon
and 2 cannons
I'd placed there earlier in insane move #10 that is. =)

THE MAP IS MINE BIATCH!:-

It was at this time that I found out how goddamn
AWESOME corsair
are against scourge!
Yes I know, they were specificaly designed for this purpose, but still!
My 6-corsair-6-scout
fleet got charged so many times by flocks of dozens of scourge
that I almost lost count. (Insane moves 11 thru 15.) And I never lost a
single ship!

Ohhh baby was Eva
swearing at me. =) I guess he never learned the magic of devourers. Insane
move #16 perhaps? :)

Anyway, not to let map control slip by, I took
the expansion directly below my main and changed my production to something
a little more expensive.

THE BEGINNING OF THE
END:-

That's right folks! In came the CARRIERS!

Normally I'm not a great fan of carriers. I mean,
when you've got all the cheese of shield batteries, psi storm, disruption
web and Reavers. Carriers just seem a little too much, you know?

 

 

 

Not that I'm complaining mind... }:)

 

 

 

After that, Eva's
fate was pretty well sealed. I chased one last monumental expansion attempt
by a shitload of mutas,
scourge and guardians
back into it's hole and this time razed it to the ground before letting
my carriers catch
up with the fighters and dwebbing Eva's
main into uselessness.

Good game. At least from my end. =)

YE OLDE LESSONS LEARNED:-

• 
  I need to get out more.



• 
  Corsair rip apart scourge like... well Yanks rip
  apart Chinese Embassies.



• 
  Map control should be every player's goal.



• 
  Observers rule.



• 
  The voices in my head just don't shut up.



• 
  Yes - Carriers ARE damn sexy.

Azhure

P.S. I forgot about insane move #17! Taking the piss out of americans
when they're the ones rating this thing! =)