#1  [165440] |
| dsl-216-227-86-33.gtcom.net |
| Approved! Sorry I didn't have the time to proofread this first, hopefully Neoviper filled in well in my stead. Will read after I finish dinner. |
| #2 Psyonic_Reaver[165441] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
| Guess I didn't have to bug Lucky to approve it then. Oops. |
#3  [165442] |
| d57-202-181.home.cgocable.net |
holla,
I am bemused by the Masters of Orion 2 background and funky oldschool collages. I shall read later! |
| #4 Psyonic_Reaver[165443] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
What can I say. I'm old school. =( Not HOF old school, of course, but I guess I just don't know how to "get with the flow".
=) Good to have you back Dag. |
| #5 [165444] |
| dsl-216-227-86-33.gtcom.net |
I enjoyed it. Especially the layout and the pics, except for the stats pics. I would have preferred them to either be in a collage or without the border, it's just too much right there together, imo. I really liked the rest of the images, though.
Adding in your thoughts on your strategy was a good thing, I think. It made the report a better read, but I couldn't help but have a hard time with a lot of the grammar and sentence structure. It all seemed kind of disjointed and somewhat hard to follow. Writing isn't your forte, though, and it was fairly easily understandable on the whole.
So it was pretty short, the game wasn't too great, and the writing wasn't all that strong. That said, I felt like the looks were very good and the overall experience was quite enjoyable. I'm going to give you an eight, but I think I'm being pretty generous. Someone else will probably rate it down. Regardless, a nice report. :) |
#6  [165445] |
| user-0ce2kp9.cable.mindspring.com |
HM ok a few things that maar didn't discuss.
i disagree with him on pics i felt like a lot of them were unneeded. generally the smaller ones, since they didn't show a lot of action and most of what they did you'd just told me in words. your collages were better in showing action and communicating the flow of battle as were the larger singles, so i'd say in the future stick with those. also you had some effects that didn't do anything good, like in this pic:
http://www.battlereports.com/users/PsyReav/luck/nat2.jpg
the blur in the top one is just annoying, and the blue haze doesn't really add anything. it's okay to trip out images but that one makes it kind of blend into the background more, especially sans border (which was an intermittent thing i noticed). positive/negative space contrast helps the viewer look at the action (since it's usually more active than the backdrop), which is what you want in a picture.
the game was kinda short. i dunno if lucky got lair but it was mostly ling vs zeal which while fun to micro shouldn't really be the entirety of the combat in the report. the writing was okay, but as maar said your grammar was kinda funky. i dunno how many people are proofreading but if you need another pair of eyes and chicago book of style added to the list, i'd be more than happy to help out. email is ashwinv at email dot unc dot edu
also (and maar only didn't mention this because he does it too ;]) is your font weight was pretty high. i'm not going to hold it against you because it's not really a report thing but it kinda blobs your letters together.
i'm giving this a 7 because while it's definitley better than silver work, it's got some room for improvement. |
| #7 [165446] |
| dsl-216-227-86-33.gtcom.net |
| The font-weight thing is because psy's using a template off one of my reports. Otherwise, what DD said because he's better at this reporting thing than I am. :) |
| #8 PeaceableGhost[165447] |
| 71-223-156-20.phnx.qwest.net |
| Funky background. o.O Doesn't really match the color editing in the pics. Good writing, v. detailed. I like having lots of pics, so that made me happy. Even if they are redundant. I'd give this a 7. |
| #9 Fangrim[165448] |
| adsl-70-240-200-49.dsl.hstntx.swbell.net |
My report has been booted off the front page. Darn you Psy!
I have to say, though, the report looks pwetty :)
|
| #10 mattzarella[165449] |
| 19.181.204.68.cfl.res.rr.com |
i would say for next time, don't go with a brightly colored border on your pics - something more simple does just fine and is far less intrusive, like white in this case. also, you might want to reduce the pixel width of the border to 2 or 3 for the same reason as before. unless you're doing some zany comic-themed BR, bright colors in general can be toned down a lot.
i actually liked the background, although it would have helped a bit if you had an editor that lets you change the brightness or opacity on black of your pics so that it wouldn't be as in your face when you're reading. i think that all of the effects you used generally detracted rather than helped; once again, simple does the trick. subtlety is key!
as far as the writing goes, it was a good read. you really went to a decent depth with your personal thoughts and strategy and that's what we all told you to do two reports ago, so kudos for listening :-]. i think if you were to do a longer, better game, it would be up there at 9 material.
7
|
| #11 Psyonic_Reaver[165450] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
Thanks guys. Thanks DD and Maar for your thoughts and comments. I'm glad that all of you are so patient with me. I know I can do better but maybe I need to be more willing to ask for help from the community in proofreading.
Also, raters, please don't mark high anymore. *Maar* Please rate it for what it is and don't go higher so somebody can help rate it lower. Give it your best go and don't worry about upsetting me. I need the kick in the butt sometimes.
As for the collages... Well, I'm trying to organize my pictures better and just give me some times. I know they aren't stellar but as I keep reading gold reports and mess around with it myself, I'm starting to get it.
Thanks again for reading! |
| #12 Decay[165451] |
| 24-119-247-61.cpe.cableone.net |
I, for one, liked the pics. Zealots going poof amuse me. The background on the collages was a bit bright though, and borders would have been nice.
I thought the writing was very good. It was surprising how you managed to draw out a game that long with nothing but zealots and zerglings, and even more surprising that you were able to keep the whole thing interesting from beginning to end. Good job. |
| #13 [165453] |
| TOROON12-1178068393.sdsl.bell.ca |
Alright! So I finally read it.
Your writing was definitely above average. Some punctuation was a little off, and sometimes you were a little wordy. Other than that, it was pretty good. So that's a huge plus for an English major. I also liked how you discuss strategy, that was especially well done.
I could tell you enjoyed writing this, and I think your decision to chroncile your battles with Lucky (who fittingly received purple) was a good one. It would have been better for you to merge all three reports into one, however, since my biggest gripe was the shortness and one-sided nature of the game. The most important part of any report is obviously the game it covers; if it's subpar, you'll be lucky getting a 7 no matter how great everything else is.
The pictures were really quite bad, however. What program do you use? You might want to try getting (aka downloading) photoshop; there's really nothing better. Pictures don't make the report but blurry, unclear shots aren't going to help. Also, you may want to think about changing the nature of some of your images, as there were too many small shots showing fragments of the action. The collages in general were a little iffy. Here's a tip: small borders are generally better - actually I've taken to eliminating borders altogether, but that's up to you. The backgrounds to your collages were also too bright and garish. Those things you can change even without photoshop!
Not sure about that background. I mean it's oldschool and kinda funky in an EVN sort of way, but I don't think you can have a really nice looking br with that sort of background. Not saying you can't be creative or even have stars, but if you're set on using this background, say, diminish the background or something!
Anyway, I'm going to say this is a 7. Had the game been longer, that alone might have got you a solid gold. Nice read. |
| #14 [165454] |
| TOROON12-1178068393.sdsl.bell.ca |
| . . . and by diminish the background, I meant diminish the brightness. |
| #15 Psyonic_Reaver[165455] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
| Thanks Decay and Dagomar for the suggestions and comments. I'm keeping all of this in mind. =) I love writing and you'd think I would get better at it after all these years... |
| #16 [165456] |
| dsl-216-227-86-33.gtcom.net |
Don't flatter yourself, psy. I love ya, but I take rating pretty seriously. I really enjoyed the report and felt it deserved just on the high side of a 7.5, which is an eight in my book. I let you know I was being generous because I was overlooking some mistakes because of how much I enjoyed the report. And my rating, in the end, is almost purely on feel, not necessarily components. Though I admit, I probably tend to be a bit harsher on the writing than some others, I felt the strategic thoughts and excitement in this one compensated for what I felt was otherwise clunky writing. This felt like a very shaky eight to me, so I gave it an eight. I see how others would give this a seven, and I like to let the reporter know that when I think the other raters will go higher or lower than I do.
Dag and DD are good with images, and place more emphasis on them than I do and know better than I do what good images are, so they rated it where they felt it went. If I knew how to do anything with pics other than post them, I might not have enjoyed these like I did. |
| #17 Psyonic_Reaver[165457] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
| I see your point. =) Thanks for clarifying. I thought maybe, you know, we were such good friends and all you were being nice but I'm glad you stomped that out of existence. =) |
| #18 [165458] |
| dsl-216-227-86-33.gtcom.net |
| Well, see, that's cause you misunderstood the relationship. We're not good friends, I just really enjoy beating you at starcraft with my off-race. ;)~ |
| #19 [165459] |
| TOROON12-1178068393.sdsl.bell.ca |
"Dag and DD are good with images, and place more emphasis on them than I do . . ."
Have you read any of my reports besides the last two or three, Maar? ;) |
| #20 [165460] |
| dsl-216-227-86-33.gtcom.net |
| Here's a deep, dark secret: I've never read any of your reports. ;p Except the one you did with SCN. ;) |
| #21 Psyonic_Reaver[165461] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
| Maar can't read. He's asking me right now to write a report about him and make him famous. |
| #22 [165462] |
| TOROON12-1178068393.sdsl.bell.ca |
| I hate you Maar. |
| #23 [165463] |
| dsl-216-227-86-33.gtcom.net |
| hrt. |
| #24 Psyonic_Reaver[165464] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
| It's okay Dag. I hate him too. =) |
| #25 wakiki[165465] |
| 71-91-76-90.dhcp.leds.al.charter.com |
Sorry I've been out of the loop for a bit and couldn't proofread your report! Life stuff got in the way =[
Anyway, I enjoyed it. The writing was solid. Nothing particularly spectacular, but I prefer "solid writing" to "failed attempts at humor writing."
I like the game, too. I enjoy reading about rushing games like this alot more other people it I suppose. |
| #26 Psyonic_Reaver[165466] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
| It's okay Wak. =) I understand how life goes sometimes. Glad you enjoyed it. |
| #27 Psyonic_Reaver[165469] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
Who keeps labeling my reports as "Famous" ???
I am not. |
| #28 mattzarella[165470] |
| 19.181.204.68.cfl.res.rr.com |
i think the real question is who labeled it "pro player"
i smell Newbie afoot |
| #29 Psyonic_Reaver[165482] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
| Agreed. |
| #30 Raider[165487] |
| c-69-255-40-38.hsd1.va.comcast.net |
Fun read--definitely enjoyed it. The last game wasn't all that. I think the whole thing could have been better presented as a series within one report. That would definitely have gotten you a higher score since the games would present a well-rounded series.
As is, however, your presentation and writing style have improved a lot from the first to the third report, and that is definitely a big plus.
7.5 and would have been higher if the game were a bit better. |
| #31 Psyonic_Reaver[165488] |
| 208.100.134.18 |
=) Thanks Raider. I'll try another 3 game series again and try to organize it into one report. I dunno. I guess I made it like that so I could take my time in writing. (AKA be lazy and still not write well =p)
Thanks for the comments and encouragement. |
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