| #1 MidnightGladius[158769] |
| 221.226.128.176 |
| Enjoy. |
| #2 Micro[158772] |
| cache-rtc-aa01.proxy.aol.com |
| first nonauthor. WHO NEEDS SLEEP? |
| #3 MidnightGladius[158775] |
| 221.226.130.94 |
Well, I'm currently in China, so it's around 3 in the afternoon here.
You know, I'm thinking of redoing the other parts, since they contain vital references and information. However, since I'm well aware that I didn't write them too skillfully, I think I should edit and repost them with the next chapter.
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| #4 Convider[158811] |
| HSE-Toronto-ppp316747.sympatico.ca |
some minor errors, but there are paragraphs this time!
6 |
| #5 Beastback[158813] |
| host212-186.pool8250.interbusiness.it |
fanfiction.com=battlereports.com
|
#6  [158817] |
| CPE000ea6388836-CM001371143574.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
Not bad at all, I was pleasantly surprised, especially at the beginning and towards the middle. Though your writing is frequently clunky (ie. "the damage-causing ability of the Protoss" and "began morphing") the overall effect is quite decent. Keep working on your diction and you'll become quite the writer someday.
I think this barely deserves gold. 7. |
| #7 MidnightGladius[158819] |
| 221.226.142.249 |
| Thanks everyone. Like I said, I'm constantly striving to improve. |
| #8 NewbEye[158821] |
| dp-216-106-106-217.storm.ca |
I found it to be a good balance between action and character development. Yes, the language was a little odd at times, but having separate paragraphs really helped this time.
Can't say I'm a big fan of introducing all these new tech gadgets (it slows the pacing down when you have to break to explain things, and it's a fair bit of stuff to remember) but I'll reserve judgement until the arc progresses further. |
| #9 MidnightGladius[158864] |
| 221.226.130.91 |
Well, then I guess I'll change how the next one's going... I have an entire UED tech tree drawn out, but I agree that it slows everything down. Besides, I always hated the fact that the Dark Templar only had 3 unique units and that the UED only had one.
Just to let everyone know, English isn't exactly my first language. Bear with me, please. |
| #10 MidnightGladius[158910] |
| 221.226.140.215 |
| Due to a special little thing I'm working on right now, writing is halted. But I think you'll like what I'm working on, as it's directly linked into the story and will save me lots of time later. |
| #11 BeRzErKeR[159337] |
| 12-202-161-63.client.insightBB.com |
| Even better then the last two. Keep it up! |
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