#1  [158187] |
| ip68-230-2-63.ph.ph.cox.net |
| approved! |
| #2 dodopout[158190] |
| d199-126-42-193.abhsia.telus.net |
you have good writing compared to some other crap i've seen here ^.^
oO...and first non-rater... |
#3  [158191] |
| 12-210-242-201.client.insightBB.com |
part 5????
I'm not rating anymore of these. This could have been 1 single story. |
| #4 BeRzErKeR[158192] |
| 216.49.74.174 |
Yah, there's gonna be 6 parts. Sry about so many, but I just write it as I think of it. And I would have lost interest if I'd tried to write one huge thing. I have a short attention span.
|
| #5 Red6[158195] |
| 65-78-30-165.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com |
I agree with Drefsab on this one, merge them into one story or something and then have all the raters rate it.
Your writing is improving which is pretty good. This story was much less overdramatized. It's a pretty cliche idea to have this "first the cerebrate shocks the terran with unit X, then the terran get unit Y" type stuff. It's kinda like DBZ where you have a super strong enemy and then the person powers up to beat it and then another superstrong enemy- it just gets lame. Hopefully your story will become more interesting then simply describing battles in an otherwise very generic starcraft fanfic. |
| #6 BeRzErKeR[158198] |
| 216.49.74.174 |
| OK, OK, I give, I give. I'll merge them and post them all with chapter 6, the finale. After I post the complete, delete these k? |
| #7 Convider[158203] |
| HSE-Ottawa-ppp322970.sympatico.ca |
| You're getting better. |
| #8 Dice[158207] |
| nj-65-164-22-169.dyn.sprint-hsd.net |
| I will save DBZ jk lol |
| #9 Red6[158208] |
| 65-78-30-165.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com |
DBZ isn't entirely bad and some parts are actually decent
oh wait that's subjective oops
|
#10  [158210] |
| c-67-190-121-88.hsd1.co.comcast.net |
| 3 starports but no ships, what a chobo terran |
| #11 Crazster[158216] |
| n219078046133.netvigator.com |
Background makes it so much better X.X
I wrote 3 paragraphs, put a coupla picks, a background and came out with a 5 :D |
| #12 BeRzErKeR[158217] |
| 216.49.74.174 |
| Hey, Heartcutter did a couple of 3 paragraph reports once. He didn't even have a background, just a couple of pics at the end, and he got gold on all of them! |
| #13 Spike[158218] |
| CPE00a065cb0ceb-CM0012c99f036c.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
That was a while back when standards for report writing were lower.
Duh. |
| #14 el_sux0r[158224] |
| dhcp078248.res-hall.northwestern.edu |
It looks like you spent perhaps five minutes worth of effort. I'll agree that your writing looks decent (not having seen any of your earlier works, I'm going by this alone), but can you really expect a gold for it?
If not, why cite Heartcutter?
Anyhow, your writing is, as I mentioned, decent. Try adding a convoluted plot, and perhaps showing more complex emotions and motivations for the individual humans. |
| #15 SandTrap[158228] |
| dhcp-128-194-24-79.resnet.tamu.edu |
| I couldn't see the pics plz help. |
| #16 BeRzErKeR[158231] |
| 216.49.74.174 |
| There are no pics. |
#17  [158266] |
| CPE000ea6388836-CM001371143574.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com |
| yeah if you'd have merged them all as a single story you might have gotten an 8 or something. That said I totally understand your point about posting them whenever you get inspired. |
| #18 BeRzErKeR[158268] |
| 216.49.74.174 |
| I will post an omnibus as soon as I figure out how to write ch. 6. All raters please rate the omnibus ok? |
| #19 BeRzErKeR[158399] |
| 216.49.74.174 |
| Yay, highest rating yet :D. But I can't quite figure out ch. 6 . . . Plus life is kinda screwed up right now. It'll probably be a couple of weeks before the omnibus is posted. |
| #20 BeRzErKeR[158485] |
| 216.49.74.174 |
| Ch. 6 finished! Omnibus wil be posted soon. |
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