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"DIE FANFICS"
- T_Mac




#1 Turbo_Noob[158030]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
what?
#2 EMS[158031]
pcp08442226pcs.kirkav01.md.comcast.net
nice... great alt-text
#3 [158032]
d199-126-42-193.abhsia.telus.net
safari won't let me see the alt-text :(...but it's good to see another drefsab report :)
#4 derek[158033]
c-24-14-181-222.hsd1.il.comcast.net
agreed, what
#5 timid[158034]
cpe-24-30-184-75.socal.res.rr.com
omg drefsab!!!
#6 BigD[158035]
S0106000f1f1928f5.cg.shawcable.net
6th. Interesting, to say the least.
#7 [158036]
c-67-180-207-56.hsd1.ca.comcast.net
Wow, I've forgotten how funny you are =]. Excellent!
#8 [158037]
c-67-180-207-56.hsd1.ca.comcast.net
I'm slapping a ten on it for making me lugh my ass off =o.
#9 WarLeaderJustin[158038]
adsl-69-234-56-141.dsl.irvnca.pacbell.net
Hahahhaha loved it.

I'm even downloading Food Force just to see how ridiculous it really is.

#10 [158039]
user-12l2ep3.cable.mindspring.com
Holy christ, that was insanely humorous. This was a gem of gems. That game was the perfect material for your hilarious reporting style.

I was laughing so hard my stomach hurts. 10

#11 OverTheUnder[158040]
12-205-145-63.client.mchsi.com
.....

Fo Sho

#12 SCN[158041]
c-24-118-75-98.hsd1.mn.comcast.net
maybe i just dont read enough of these anymore, but this didnt seem like it was worth a 10 to me. it was pretty decent.. but still. i guess the standards have dropped LRL.
#13 dustbiter[158042]
bbcache-116.singnet.com.sg
Awesome, great job.
#14 Dibbler[158043]
194.151.4.99
Excellent humor! Well worth a binary 1010, instead of those lousy 10's you got from Vegas and Mark4.
#15 Artius[158045]
pcp05145558pcs.malvrn01.pa.comcast.net
It is not funny to mock the starving. You have 2 minutes to craft an appropriate apology.
#16 [158046]
houwebproxy05.americas.hp.net
ehhhhh this was ok

Still i doubt anyone could do a better job with this game lol.

#17 [158047]
nr11-216-196-188-146.fuse.net
As a professional humorist, I must say that this was pretty good.
#18 kane[158048]
shore-108-195.rh.uchicago.edu
we need raters with better senses of humor.

10? what the hell are you thinking? are you fools INSANE? a 10 is a BR with flash movies and mouse-over maps and--dare i say it--good writing.

#19 badme at school[158049]
207.103.12.2
Drefsab returns in style!
#20 BeRzErKeR[158050]
216.49.74.174
Waitaminute, I thought there was no favoritism on this site!!! How come Drefsab gets rated rated before the four "No Ratings" before him!?! (Including me . . . boo hoo)
Regardless of suspicions though, I really liked this report. 8-9
#21 BeRzErKeR[158051]
216.49.74.174
Who rated this a 6?! Cmon man.
#22 [158052]
nr11-216-196-185-236.fuse.net
Dunno about the six, but I rated it the seven. Original game, decent writing, and a few good jokes.
#23 [158053]
83.72.192.168.ip.tele2adsl.dk
Very funny stuff - plus I just noticed the game is available for Mac, so both you and the UN get loads of love.

9.

#24 [158054]
ip68-230-2-63.ph.ph.cox.net
this is one of the most awkwardly rated br's ever
i concur with 8.x though
#25 [158055]
83.72.192.168.ip.tele2adsl.dk
Looking at the food-force site, I find it funny that they could have probably fed beans to several small african countries with the money spent on getting people to make a crappy game and flash buttons for the site :D
#26 Micro[158056]
cache-dtc-ae03.proxy.aol.com
but there are only six parts to the bridge! :E
#27 [158057]
houwebproxy05.americas.hp.net
I rated it a 6. who the hell wants it.
#28 [158058]
105-254.fiber.parallax.ws
I would give it a six as well but its too late since there's already five ratings.
#29 Convider[158059]
HSE-Toronto-ppp304966.sympatico.ca
I love this. 9
#30 scn[158060]
c-24-118-75-98.hsd1.mn.comcast.net
yeah honestly i could tell from the way it was written + put together that dref probably didnt put *that* much time into this. i cant believe it got two 10s, haha.
#31 yoda[158062]
pm3-1-130.boscobel.mwt.net
it was ok

the "i'd rather have a gumball" alt text was the only really funny part

#32 Red6[158063]
65-78-30-165.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com
despite the fact that this clearly wasn't a 10, I think it garners an 8 or so for originality and humor and i think that some of the raters were trying to balance out other raters (a 6?) and that's really defeating the whole purpose of multiple raters.
#33 [158064]
c-67-180-207-56.hsd1.ca.comcast.net
I like how it gets the rating you think it deserves Red, and then you say the system doesn't work =].
#34 EMS[158065]
pcp08442226pcs.kirkav01.md.comcast.net
Good point Mark 4, the system works. Write some reports and become a rater if you want to change it!
#35 TM[158066]
0-1pool161-40.nas17.dallas2.tx.us.da.qwest.net
That was funny as hell
#36 Iron Warrior[158067]
ce590.eu.dodea.edu
Funny, but why don't all the other reports get 5 ratings?
#37 Dibbler[158069]
194.151.4.99
Cuz' it's a Drefsab report
#38 Iron Warrior[158070]
host224-187.pool8256.interbusiness.it
So what, why in the hell cant the raters look at ours also. I dont care who writes a report, if some people can go without being rated for days, while Dresfab gets 5 in two, I think that is BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT and FAVORITISM.
#39 [158072]
83.72.192.168.ip.tele2adsl.dk
Iron Warrior:
There are two factors here, and yes the one is that drefsab has been around since the dawn of man, purple ooze and SC lesbians.

The other is that drefsab writes in a very immediate and instantly satisfying way. Think about a burger and a live lobster, where drefs BR is the burger. And a bad written br is the lobster. The burger is there, its so easy to pick up, bang instant taste. Sometimes the pickles are *just right*, and sometimes they are quite sloppy and watery. It doesn't matter that much, because even a burger with bad pickles is a tasty meal.

The lobster takes a lot of time, and while some people might prefer the small amount of meat it holds, noone bothers to kill the lobster, open it up and find out, because it has HUGE FUCKING CLAWS.

Where was i going with this...






#40 [158073]
83.72.192.168.ip.tele2adsl.dk
I realize now that obviously its a bad analogy. To an extent. Maybe.

What I'm saying is that you should make better reports, and they will get read more > more and better ratings.

#41 Iron Warrior[158074]
host224-187.pool8256.interbusiness.it
But isn't it the job of the raters to check EVERY battlereport, not a select few. And lol, that analogy did blow. I want to join your clan, I've been coming to this website for several years now. Something like nohunters.
#42 [158075]
ip68-230-2-63.ph.ph.cox.net
oh shit ling you have a clan? where's my invite
#43 [158076]
ip68-230-2-63.ph.ph.cox.net
oh and technically dref got 6 rates in two days as i was going to rate it as well
#44 [158077]
nr11-216-196-186-233.fuse.net
Iron, it is blatant favoritism on my part to rate Drefsab's report. This is because I enjoy reading Drefsab's report.
#45 [158078]
nr11-216-196-186-233.fuse.net
Also I still have that same goddam fucking extra e in my rater tag. God damn it.
#46 Turbo_Noob[158079]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
sorry but I don't know who drefsab is. I thought he was someone new. we should do a report on how to secret a fart during oral sex.
#47 [158080]
83.72.192.168.ip.tele2adsl.dk
I have a clan? O_O

You'll always be double-e to me, eldritch.

I don't think raters are supposed to read *all* reports - I understand why you're not happy about it, but like with normal readers, the better (or more special) a report, the more raters.


#48 [158081]
105-254.fiber.parallax.ws
The lobster analogy was awesome. And this report was going to have 7 ratings because I was going to rate it.
#49 Iron Warrior[158083]
host4-185.pool8250.interbusiness.it
haha funny eldritch, twisting my words. And just fuck it, i dont need to be arguing with raters.
#50 Netaddict[158086]
wpl02.cnc.bc.ca
Um, major offense factor here..
#51 [158087]
nr11-216-196-186-41.fuse.net
Iron Warrior, I will kill you in single combat and then feast on your mutilated flesh.
#52 Turbo_Noob[158088]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
your plus 2 longsword just made me grow a plus 6.5 quarterstaff
#53 snowyday[158090]
24.107.151.165.charter-stl.com
Great humor.

I can tell it was thrown together quickly, but apparently so was the game.

The picture of the rebel and the three choices cracked me up to no end. It's a shame you couldn't have sold Rachel to the rebels as a prostitute for a fourth choice. I'm sure the proceeds would have gone to WFP.

8.3
#54 Iron Warrior[158091]
host65-253.pool8254.interbusiness.it
Skulls for the Skull Throne!
#55 notsoskinnyguy[158094]
rrcs-24-172-65-130.midsouth.biz.rr.com
iron warrior is just jealous because drefsab threw together a report and it is still twice as better as all of iw thrown together

funny report mind if i smack racheals ass?
#56 Iron Warrior[158095]
host71-248.pool8248.interbusiness.it
I wholeheartedly admit Dresfabs report was better than my last report: Better html (dont know how to use it), and better writing. I wouldn't give a shit if the rest of the raters gave me 5's on my last report. I just don't like how Dresfab gets five ratings and everybody else gets one or two. NOW SHUTUP THE FUCK UP, THIS IS THE END OF THE ISSUE. And you have yet to produce a great report so fuck you notsoskinnyguy.
#57 Artius[158096]
67.97.164.20
Will some raters please go rate Iron Warrior's report. That's all the poor guy wants.

The debate on whether raters should be obligated to rate reports or not is kind of meaningless I think - everyone's volunteers here. Throw the guy a bone.
#58 Chris[158097]
astound-64-85-254-102.ca.astound.net
Safeway used to call me Carlos Sanchez.
#59 Chris[158098]
astound-64-85-254-102.ca.astound.net
Oh by the way, raters take as long as they like because they don't get paid. gtfo
#60 RabidMurloc[158099]
ool-4354698b.dyn.optonline.net
Well, this was very funny, but that's all I can say until I read the alt-text. My gay laptop won't let me see it. Once my army of complaints finishes laying siege to my mom and she surrenders the family computer to me, I shall return with a new comment listing side splits, hilairity, and other disturbing things. Analogy was hilarious, Ling.
*laugh* Good to see you back, Dref. On that note, could I possibly have permission to use Justin from your "When Worlds Collide" series? I enjoyed it greatly and would like to pay homage to it by writing a fanfic featureing Justin. Ever wondered what would happen if that
****** got into the World of Warcraft? Burning Leigon, you've met your match...
#61 Turbo_Noob[158101]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
alt-text does not make a report -_-

and you can just right click -> properties to see it anyways.
#62 [158102]
nr11-216-196-187-174.fuse.net
Artius: His report HAS been rated. He's bitchin' because he doesn't have FIVE ratings.
#63 SCN[158103]
c-24-118-75-98.hsd1.mn.comcast.net
all you pussies complaining cuz your shitty brs dont get rated like a HALL OF FAME MEMBER'S do just shut the fuck up now. ive written more entertaining and substantial posts on the forum than you have in 3 brs.
#64 Turbo_Noob[158109]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
why doesn't scn write a report on all the amazing hot chicks he must have sex with nightly? At first they're all llike "step back stank ass foo" but then he's like "it's coo bitches check this out" and while whipping out his certification card, gives them a wink and smoothly says "I post on shox".
#65 Dice[158110]
nj-65-164-22-169.dyn.sprint-hsd.net
hey why aren't you ever on AIM any more turbo?
#66 RabidMurloc[158111]
cache-mtc-ae09.proxy.aol.com
Back! and alt-text was hilarious. I think it does make a report. Er, besides all the stuff to do with the game, andf the paragraph, and all that stuff nobody cares about. :D

P.S. Dice is Sindri, but a new, reformed Sindri!

P.P.S. At least I hope so :o
#67 Dice[158112]
nj-65-164-22-169.dyn.sprint-hsd.net
P.P.P.S. I am reformed at least I think I am
#68 [158114]
d150-128-17.home.cgocable.net
Funny report as ever, but not up to your very highest quality. Pretty good writing but a bit long-winded at times. Really great gamechoice - agree with Keanu on the 8.x

GJ!
#69 SCN[158115]
c-24-118-75-98.hsd1.mn.comcast.net
good to know you still lurk shox Turbo_Noob, keep it up bud
#70 Turbo_Noob[158116]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
I don't lurk shox as I don't see the point when I won't post there. But when I don't have time for brs anymore I'm gonna hop on over there and make the death post so fox will bring the banhammer down on me.
#71 yo[158117]
CPE000f3d01470a-CM00e06f16610c.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com
the game is broken
where's the part where government sponsored negroid militia come in and steal the beans then shootup the peasants
WHERE
#72 [158123]
authorized_proxy1.cogeco.net
the wisdom and intelligence radiating from this comment section really hits me y'know?
#73 [158125]
c-67-190-121-88.hsd1.co.comcast.net
Ling's lobser vs burger analogy was the best
#74 [158126]
d150-128-17.home.cgocable.net
*lobster
#75 SCN[158127]
c-24-118-75-98.hsd1.mn.comcast.net
loser*

<h1>
LRL
</h1>
#76 scn[158128]
c-24-118-75-98.hsd1.mn.comcast.net
o fuk

[big writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
LRL
[/big writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!1]
#77 SCN[158129]
c-24-118-75-98.hsd1.mn.comcast.net
the internet is 2 hard 4 me fuk
#78 OverTheUnder[158133]
12-205-145-63.client.mchsi.com
lololololol the burger lobster analogy ............roffflllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
#79 Red6[158140]
65-78-30-165.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com
Mark4,

it doesn't matter if it got the rating I think it deserved, I'm not a rater here. The whole point of a multiple rater system is so each rater gets their own input. You happened to think this was a 10, which is your opinion and since you're a rater that's all cool. Now the people who rated this a 6, if they truly thought this was a 6 (and knowing Fox that is entirely possible) then fine. But if they're doing it because they think that it's not a 10, but rather an 8, and thus they give it a lower rating to balance out other raters' ratings, then the system doesn't work.

#80 Red6[158141]
65-78-30-165.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com
And instead of making these long-winded burger/lobster analogies, why don't you raters just say you're favoritist? It's not all that terrible a concession and everyone already pretty much knows it. It also makes sense that if you have a renowned reputation as a good reporter then people are going to want to read your reports more.
#81 [158143]
ip68-230-2-63.ph.ph.cox.net
but favoritist is such a...nonexistent word.

and if someone is known for making highly entertaining reports then of course more people will read them...rater or not, that doesn't affect our ratings though. the fact that people are complaining because their reports only got rated once or twice while drefs was rated five times (given that dref has been around since the ice age and has been one of the most consistent reporters ever) is absolutely ridiculous. sorry you dont have the stature of dref, write 65 gold reports and then maybe you'll have a reason to complain.
#82 Turbo_Noob[158144]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
fags

what were we talking about again?
#83 Some_God[158145]
ool-18b8c5a0.dyn.optonline.net
You guys were talking about how cool I am. :O
#84 Turbo_Noob[158146]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
NOT LIKELY
#85 Dice[158148]
nj-65-164-22-169.dyn.sprint-hsd.net
*looks at commants* no we were not talking about that
#86 [158152]
ip68-230-2-63.ph.ph.cox.net
CAD beats 8 bit theatre in a fairly close race...penny arcade is a distant third
#87 Iron Warrior[158153]
host58-186.pool8256.interbusiness.it
I understand that Dresfab has written more and better reports than me... however, I think it is possible for raters to at least vote for everyone's report. I recall EldritchEvil posting a comment in my last report, but not giving me a rating... is it really that hard?
#88 [158154]
nr11-216-196-185-179.fuse.net
I didn't READ your report, I just approved it. Why would I want to read a report on a single-player game? Some other less busy and less important rater than I can do it.
#89 Iron Warrior[158156]
host144-190.pool8256.interbusiness.it
Oh...what else are you doing, since you seem to come to this site and post comments about me often...and give me a list of less important and busy raters so I can talk to them.

With love.
#90 Crazster[158157]
n219078217062.netvigator.com
Yes mr extra E eldritchevil sir.
#91 [158165]
nr11-216-196-184-8.fuse.net
What else am I doing?

Obviously, I'm only rating the reports of people who are cool.
#92 Iron Warrior[158169]
host18-189.pool8252.interbusiness.it
Obviously from your lack of ratings there are not very many
"cool" people writing reports. And thats funny, since my report was ON TOP of the list, all the others having been rated....

With Love.
#93 Turbo_Noob[158171]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
Sorry but EE only rates men of 6 inches +
#94 [158172]
nr11-216-196-186-45.fuse.net
The only cool person on this website is me. Did I mention I rate all of my reports 10s?
#95 Some_God[158174]
ool-18b8c5a0.dyn.optonline.net
Awww... you guys suck. I started saying how cool I am and then you guys took the word "cool" and labeled yourselves cool. You know what? You guys AREN'T cool... yeah, that's right... I called you guys NOT cool. Esp EE. He is so square/dorky/uncool/emo.



Chairs,
~SG~
#96 Red6[158175]
65-78-30-165.c3-0.lex-ubr3.sbo-lex.ma.cable.rcn.com
EE you're making yourself look like a child

even if you're a rater on this site, you're just a rater

back when you just started you weren't this arrogant

and Keanu, you basically agreed with me. so i guess i have nothing to reply with.
#97 [158177]
usrns122.dialup.hawaii.edu
This is a report comment section. Move your complaints about the rating system and raters to the forum.
#98 [158179]
12-210-242-201.client.insightBB.com
#100

Triple digits, I'm so happy

*sniffle*
#99 snowyday[158180]
24.107.148.74.charter-stl.com
Cheater.
#100 Dice[158182]
nj-65-164-22-169.dyn.sprint-hsd.net
*bows down to Drefsab* all hail Drefsab we are not worthy
#101 [158183]
nr11-216-196-190-159.fuse.net
Red6, it may or may not have occured to you yet (uncool people are sometimes singleminded about things) but I may just be being sarcastic.

Also, don't worship Drefsab. He isn't as cool as I am.
#102 [158188]
12-210-242-201.client.insightBB.com
maybe not, but my rater tag is spelled correctly...
#103 Iron Warrior[158194]
ce590.eu.dodea.edu
Good job Turbo_Noob, bringing up Penis size when you don't have a real, suitable comeback or explanation for my argument.
#104 Dice[158197]
nj-65-164-22-169.dyn.sprint-hsd.net
I was being sarcastic Eldritch
#105 OverTheUnder[158199]
12-205-145-63.client.mchsi.com
Ouch dref, that was below the belt:P
#106 [158200]
nr11-216-196-190-171.fuse.net
Well, I wasn't!
#107 Turbo_Noob[158201]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
I may not have a comeback for your argument, but then again I'm not arguing with you either so it all works out.
#108 Dice[158202]
nj-65-164-22-169.dyn.sprint-hsd.net
ok that works
#109 Turbo_Noob[158204]
c-24-15-79-148.hsd1.il.comcast.net
and i meant to say 8 inches, I'm sure you have a fine-sized penis.
#110 Dice[158206]
nj-65-164-22-169.dyn.sprint-hsd.net
who me or Iron Warrior?
#111 NewbEye[158209]
dp-216-106-106-3.storm.ca
OMG #29 on UN ladder! Sell me your account please!
#112 SpuniasauR[158213]
CPE-203-45-112-4.nsw.bigpond.net.au
Raters are volunteers. So take what they give you.
Dref, thanks for the BR after so long; very entertaining!!

talking about WoW general chat, someone asked in dunmorogh today if hunters could use guns... I mean, don't dwarf hunters START with guns? oh well, i <3 morons!
#113 kane[158214]
shore-108-195.rh.uchicago.edu
i propose that all the raters who gave this a 10 be taken to whatever island this game is set on, and shot by rebels

by the way, i found some cheat codes for the game:

OILFORFOOD: Unlimited Funds
TSUNAMIRELIEF: 100 New Toyota Land Cruisers
CONGOGIRLS: Boost Morale + 50 Percent
MULTILATERALISM: Immobilize Opponents
HANSBLIX: No Time Limit
KOJOANNAN: Advance 5 Experience Levels
#114 [158215]
nr11-216-196-187-32.fuse.net
You mean JV and Mark4 then right, kane?

I don't know if we can do that and still function.
#115 BlueRibbon[158219]
65.167.44.159
This made me come out of my hole in the earth to say this:

"I was then asked by the rebels if they could have some of the food. Even though they had guns, the correct answer was no and they inexplicably let us through anyway."

Funniest quote ever.

Hmmm, 8.5. Funny stuff : ]
#116 Heartcutter[158220]
h-67-101-144-87.snfccasy.dynamic.covad.net
Dresfab,

That was some funny shit! You've got the touch man.

But you're not touching me. I don't want none of that indeliable shit on me.

:-D

-HC
#117 RabidMurloc[158226]
ool-4354698b.dyn.optonline.net
I'm so confused. Anyway, Dref, now that you are looking at the comments again, did you see my request? Comment number 6, I belive. Oh, and what the hell is CAD?
#118 [158227]
ip68-230-2-63.ph.ph.cox.net
CAD = ctrl alt delete
very awesome penny arcade-esque webcomic
#119 RabidMurloc[158252]
ool-43516e69.dyn.optonline.net
Ah, I have read the adventures of Ethan and Co. (THE CHEEZYNESS, DEAR GOD THE CHEEZYNESSSSS) and have been enlightened. Brian Clevinger, my soul and late-night laptoping hours are no longer yours. Dear god it is funny.

P.S. I misspoke, (er, mistyped?) my request was comment # 61.
#120 [158269]
198.235.178.54
That's funny stuff. We all learned lots of important stuff about the U.N. and feeding the hungry.

After reading this report, I stopped running over kids on my way home from work and I've shifted my charity work from trying to cut benefits for the elderly to contributing to starving nations. Oh, and I stopped burning packs of styrofoam cups in my back yard for fun.

You've made a real difference Drefsab.

You've made a real difference.

Only I can prevent forest fires... wait a minute... what was this report about again?
#121 Fangrim[158483]
mail.ccisd.net
excellent report, i liked it

I am a bit confused on this whole conversation of ratings...
Since the raters are volunteers, they are pretty much entitled to choosing what games/things to rate in their own time. It isn't favoritism, it's just that they like reading certain reports more. Their motivation to rate certain reports is not favoritism, as some people mistakenly believe.
#122 BlackTerror[158636]
pcp0010600467pcs.catonv01.md.comcast.net
Yeah, fun report. But holy christ, Drefsab! "Drefsab<i>!</i>," no less! Awed and shocked.

Ok you can kill yourself now.

(no wait pls dont)
#123 Anathema[158658]
ip24-251-17-72.ph.ph.cox.net
dorks
#124 scn[161930]
c-24-118-214-237.hsd1.mn.comcast.net
people jerk off to this report like its hentai or something... jesus christ
#125 ::nobody::[161936]
carlsbad-cuda-6-68-234-36-166.crlsca.adelphia.net
i rofled :P
#126 MunkeyNerd[161937]
pool-71-240-58-172.pitt.east.verizon.net
Wow, that was hilarious. That bizitch was hot too! *barfs*
#127 TeMpLaR:)[162171]
209-122-217-250.s250.apx1.atn.pa.dialup.rcn.com
People still come here?
#128 NotJim[163163]
pepperpot.nla.gov.au
Apparently so.



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