| #1 Slotham[148535] |
| 254.bng0103.bng.iprimus.net.au |
Ack, well, where do I start?
Never use yellow on white! Use some contrast in your colour schemes so that it is readable. I don't want to highlight the report to read it.
The obvious one, needs pics. Only a small amount of editing is needed to add a minimap or a certain battle, try to make the effort.
Too small! The game was too short and wasn't any good. Although you admitted to it in your introduction you still shouldn't do it. What's the use in "testing the waters" if your choice in game has flawed it from the start?
(Continued) |
| #2 Slotham[148536] |
| 254.bng0103.bng.iprimus.net.au |
(Continued)
Do not patronize readers! We do not need to be told how to find a good report. Most readers know their way around the site and new readers can always read the FAQ.
Your writing was alright, not brilliant but alright. The humor was forced at times but basically it seems you simply didn't put in the effort. If you aren't aiming for gold (as you also state in your introduction) then don't bother starting a report. Let me know when you make a serious effort and I'll help all I can. |
| #3 MicroMachine[148537] |
| cache-dtc-aa02.proxy.aol.com |
| . . . |
| #4 Aiion[148538] |
| ip68-101-8-12.nc.hr.cox.net |
| I would give it a 6 |
| #5 BlueRibbon[148539] |
| 12.32.221.36 |
Better then most of what I've seen from first reports. Like Slotham said, NEVER EVER use yellow on white bg. It looks like someone pissed all over my screen like that :}.
Other then that not many problems.
5-6, so an average attempt.
|
| #6 endersshadow[148540] |
| ool-182d2f86.dyn.optonline.net |
Not bad for a first time report, although in the future find a game where you don't get owned by a muta rush =].
Meh, if Ling's in a good mood I might go with a 7.
Keep going. |
| #7 TwistedNecro[148542] |
| lsanca1-ar54-4-3-193-255.lsanca1.dsl-verizon.net |
| Pretty good first report. Aside from the above suggestions, I would suggest a longer game, maybe one that you don't play. You can always look around in the replays section for one. 6-7 for good effort but lack of... Of something. I'm not quite sure what. =P |
| #8 EldritchEvil[148544] |
| dialup-64.156.35.6.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net |
Yellow on white! Aiigh!
Anyway. You have paragraphs, colors, and <hr> tags. This is progress.
Like Slotham said, writing was okay and humor was forced. Work on adding more details, and definetly find a better game. Reading about somebody losing to a muta rush isn't entertaining.
Things to work on now are:
Images (you can use MSPaint for this, if you have to.)
Better Color Scheme! Yellow+White=blindness.
Background colors. For now, use tables. We'll wean you onto CSS later.
Better Writing. Nothing really to say here except practice makes perfect.
Better game.
Better than your last one. Keep it up. |
| #9 LoZeR-X[148545] |
| CPE-65-29-130-160.wi.rr.com |
Don't force the humor, as otherwise you describe the game pretty well. I could follow what was happening without pictures, and I didn't notice any poorly written sentences.
Always aim for gold: you want to do your best to battle report because most people don't want to ready anything but a gold. That sometimes means playing 20 1v1s untill you play one thats BR worthy. |
| #10 endersshadow[148546] |
| ool-182d2f86.dyn.optonline.net |
| That or a game where all the players are zerg. Raters swoon over hydra blood. |
| #11 OverTheUnder[148548] |
| 12-205-134-226.client.mchsi.com |
well despite the fact that the game lacked "that certain something" *cough* skill *cough* lol just kiddin besides it doesn't have to be a good game for a good BR just a close one:P Ur writing skillz are pretty good and with a bit a practice u could be an 8 or 9er:D gw
6 |
| #12 Dr_Ransom[148551] |
| pcp07843142pcs.wilmsc01.tn.comcast.net |
| wow, thanks guys, I wasn't expecting this many comments without language. I know it was bad, and I actually think a 6 would be pretty generous. As most of you can tell, I'm not the funny guy in the family, but hey, humor is a powerful tool, and come on, I'm reporting on a game, it should be fun, right? I love the game even though I'm pretty bad at it (haha, muta rush) and I also love to write, though this was a bit sloppy for me. How do you guys find games to observe? just ask people on Bnet? jw. Well thanks again, I'll work on pictures and backround when I'm not failing all of my classes. hope to be around for a while. ~Dr_Ransom |
| #13 deathgod[148552] |
| jupiter.singnet.com.sg |
u r relegated to the side lines for using yellow on white?
they have no life
well done dr ransom
yellow on white is a very nice combination...serious no sarcasm meant here
those ppl that think other wise shld get their brains chcked |
| #14 endersshadow[148555] |
| ool-182d2f86.dyn.optonline.net |
| Gosus like Decay and myself hang out in channel Op ~Nohunters on USEast. If you see a game being made simply spam "obs kaka" and there should be no problems =[ |
| #15 Mr.Puddles[148556] |
| 216.49.241-DSL-93.ckt.net |
| Two words: Black Background. Everyone loves black. Besides, it makes yellow alot easier to see ;]. Other than the lack of pictures, paragraphs (indent please), and black background, i give this a 6. ^_^ |
| #16 TwistedNecro[148558] |
| lsanca1-ar54-4-3-193-255.lsanca1.dsl-verizon.net |
| Oh. It's USEast? Darn, I was looking for you guys on USWest. -_- |
| #17 Chris[148565] |
| astound-64-85-254-129.ca.astound.net |
The yellow hurt.
4.5 |
| #18 EldritchEvil[148568] |
| dialup-65.59.17.118.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net |
If you want *good* games, try to figure out where good players play. Then ask for replays.
Hey, it's working for me. |
| #19 DredNicolson[148570] |
| 164.58.125.220 |
The forced humor is the very reason that I LIKE your writing style. It gives it an enjoyable down-home matter-of-fact flavor that I haven't seen in a while. I don't see a reason to try and write with flourish, or try and use gaudy xHTML and overedited images, if one is not naturally talented at it. Furthermore, I don't believe you even NEED images in your reports, no matter what the eye-candy addicts say. You're writing did it all for me. My only reservation was it's relatively short length, because I wanted to read more.
Your prose is above average. (Do not even TOUCH your style, concentrate on finding more content to use it on.)
Your humor is above average. (See above.)
-Graphic Presentation not included when no images are used.-
And your effort is, as always, of heroic proportions. |
| #20 DredNicolson[148571] |
| 164.58.125.220 |
(Addendum)
The quality of the game is, or should be, irrelevant. Good reports have come from sucky games, and sucky reports have come from good games.
The medium for delivery is, or should be, irrelevant. Not liking yellow on white or preferring black backgrounds are fickle personal tastes, and have, or should have, no role in the rating of the content. |
| #21 Slotham[148577] |
| dsl-202-173-156-103.vic.westnet.com.au |
Ok, unless your whole two posts were sarcasm then there is something terribly wrong in your head.
How can forced humor give the report an "enjoyable down-home matter-of-fact flavor"? What the hell does that mean anyway? It's like listening to a fool telling knock-knock jokes that is trying to pass himself off as a comedian.
1) “Dr.Ransom's probing Probe finds Tommy9un's base and decides to... guess what! probe!”
2) “Zealots take so long that you might think that they might be caught in 'warp traffic' or something.”
3) “Tommy9un, apparently also having brains rather than mere testosterone, starts a Sunken Colony.”
4) “I suppose the Protoss are mostly out of shape b/c of psychic training or reliance on machines. Maybe these three had asthma, who knows? At any rate, they were WAY too slow to get there before the ramp was sealed up.”
(Continued) |
| #22 Slotham[148578] |
| dsl-202-173-156-103.vic.westnet.com.au |
(Continued)
Above are four examples of attempted/forced humor. They are spelled out and pushed like he was ensuring that readers understand the joke and therefore laugh. But it doesn’t work like that! The third is just common sense (To build a sunken in order to squash protoss offensive buildings) and considering that the only unit that could do damage was a probe, Tommy9un could have rushed in with ‘mere testosterone’ and still won. I don’t understand why Dr.Ransom didn’t have his zealots go over to his push when they were first produced anyway. Surely he could have had at least one across there by the time the shield battery was up.
The humor used in this report reminded me of those situations where the runt of the friendship group cracks a dodgy one liner and you chuckle out of pity. What everyone is really thinking is, “What an idiot.”.
(Continued) |
| #23 Slotham[148579] |
| dsl-202-173-156-103.vic.westnet.com.au |
(Continued)
There is also the issue of pictures. Granted, pictures aren’t always needed and this is probably one that didn’t need it. But that is because of its length. It’s fairly easy to imagine a failed offensive then a counter muta rush. But in a game worth reporting it isn’t very hard to add a minimap or a picture of a drop to give the readers and exact idea of what is occurring and how it is occurring. Eye candy is nice and does add to the report but not essential. But a few strategic pics add meaning and clarity.
You told Dr.Ransom to leave his ‘syle’ alone. Well, the overriding style was the bad humor and other than that it was a bit hard to judge the style because the report was so short. So Dr.Ransom, give us a longer report and we’ll judge your style then.
(Continued) |
| #24 Slotham[148580] |
| dsl-202-173-156-103.vic.westnet.com.au |
(Continued)
Of course the quality of the game matters! Even IF you write a good report on a bad game the report will still lack something. The report will still be thought of as mediocre because the underlying content and excitement isn’t there.
Presentation is also a huge factor in a report. All throughout school and all throughout life presentation is half the battle. If you have ever looked over the key criteria to grading work that teachers use then you would have found presentation in there. You could have written the best speech in the world but with bad delivery no one will really listen to what you are saying and the contents is lost. Take a website for example. Your impression of a website has a lot to do with it’s presentation. This includes the clarity of the content, the ease of navigation and how well the ideas/info on the website is expressed.
I cannot believe you actually mean the things you have written. I really hope you are being sarcastic DredNicolson. |
| #25 TwistedNecro[148585] |
| lsanca1-ar54-4-3-193-255.lsanca1.dsl-verizon.net |
| Um Slotham? I think you need to lay down and cool off. You've nitpicked this thing to heck and back. I agree with many of your things (the humor, yellow on white, good game), but you've gotta realize that he knows absolutely NOTHING about what we like. Okay, maybe a little from reading brs, but I mean give him a break. I'm probably going to make a br soon (maybe not) so I'm gonna need some of that break too... :-P |
| #26 Slotham[148588] |
| 254.bng0103.bng.iprimus.net.au |
| Hmmm, I re-read what I wrote and it does seem hot headed. It wasn't actually written with anger though. It is nit-picking but all good advice. |
| #27 EldritchEvil[148591] |
| dialup-64.156.33.162.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net |
| Wow, Slotham. Respect++ |
| #28 livingexception[148593] |
| 129.252.212.47 |
asdf Slotham, we do have the character limit for a reason.
I gotta admit, I though the warp traffic was funny, if only a little. nr
le |
| #29 sum guy[148596] |
| px4so.cg.shawcable.net |
| (> -.-)>-~ |
| #30 NUclear DonKEY[148597] |
| px4so.cg.shawcable.net |
| offensive refinery is da best cause thers no time limit. xtrators and assimaltors get done soon but u can jus build + cancel w scv when ur offensiv refinery |
| #31 Dr_Ransom[148598] |
| pcp07843142pcs.wilmsc01.tn.comcast.net |
| lol, well, Slotham you're right about most of all you said, though you seemed a bit fed up with it. it's not like i've written 3 bad reports in a row. as i said before, I'm not a comedian, but what do you recommend instead? a good laugh is equal to a bunch of well done pictures, but is there anything else to make a BR more fun? I'd be cool if you could add music or something, but I would never figure out how to do that. Also, smack was lacking, and that's always fun, tho I am a bit fed up with 'yo momma' jokes. I'll try to take more time next report and see if I can get a nice light tone. My jokes are spur of the moment, and sparse anyway. well, thanks for the comments and rating! Dr_Ransom~ |
| #32 ProXy[cF][148621] |
| ca01-ch02-bl04.accel.atl.earthlink.net |
6 Report...Everyone covered everything.
And i dunno about you, but i see offensive extractor and assimilator more than refinery. I see assimilator the most by far on PVT and extractor a lot on ZVZ. I hardly see refinery a lot at all, only time i see it is on TVT but barely even then. |
| #33 Slotham[148622] |
| 254.bng0103.bng.iprimus.net.au |
Dr.Ransom, I guess I was a bit annoyed because you basically admitted that you didn't try. If you had have tried it would be a different story. Feel free to pass your next report through my inbox. That is if there is a next report.
slotham@warsmith.org
EE - <3 |
| #34 [148623] |
| 66.44.173.138 |
You know, this reminds me of my first report. :) Except mine got a seven out of pity. <3@dag
But really, I don't know how many games like this get played on battle.net. One player rushes, other player defends it, then counters and wins. Just play more games until you find the right one, or download some replays from the net. I didn't mind your writing or humor at all, as i find a lot of the humor on the internet to be forced. It takes a really special someone to make me actually laugh out loud more than once or twice in a report, and that kind of thing is just something that comes with practice. I suggest hanging out with us in nh, like ender said. Then you can get to know people there, br one of their games, and make fun of them. I always find it amusing to read about how retarded and gay one of my friends is! :D
(continued) |
Home
Forum
Starcraft Tournaments
