| #1 Keanu_Reaver[144551] |
| ip68-99-86-96.ph.ph.cox.net |
No br this week, sorry, but it'll be here soon enough. :) Anyway, enjoy, its a couple days late thanks to my comp acting up and some peer pressure (hi Dag). ;)
Criticism is welcomed and if you find anything wrong with it, let me know, happy reading. |
| #2 BiGROoStER[144553] |
| pcp02936415pcs.dalect01.va.comcast.net |
| ill just say 2nd and its to long to read for me ^_^ |
| #3 LurkerBurger7[144554] |
| ool-182e1a3b.dyn.optonline.net |
read the last couple of paragraphs.
great like always. |
| #4 lurker716[144559] |
| pcp04439209pcs.verona01.nj.comcast.net |
god like every other report happens to be in the other section =[
not that its a bad thing, I just don't like reading fanfics (most of them) or looking at pics of sabo smacking ppl w/ wooden swords. |
| #5 Some_God[144574] |
| ool-18b8c53e.dyn.optonline.net |
Reaver, screw these ghey fanfics... go back to game reporting.
Peace,
~SG~ |
| #6 Slotham[144579] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
| OMG, Reaver's fanfic is worthwhile reading. WTF is with this "I don't like fanfics" shit. Like any other form of entertainment a fanfic varies in quality. Granted, most fanfics suck but this shouldn't be the basis of whether you read it or not. Even if your too lame to read it to find out how good it is at least wait a few days and see what the general consensus is in the comments section. |
| #7 Slotham[144580] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
| Reports don't exactly show up here at a great rate. I bet a lot of BR.com readers have signed in many times and found that there are no new reports. So when a large report is finally posted what always occurs? "It's too long....I've been checking for days without any new reports but this one is just too long. But I'll inform everyone that I got the second comment!" If it's that hard to read more than a screen of writing at once then spread it out over a couple of days and pretend each new section you read is a new little report. Or, you could turn up the screen resolution on your monitor! :O |
| #8 Slotham[144581] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
And please, we're over the whole posting which number comment you get! As has been said recently the comments are already numbered. It happens automatically, no child slave labor involved. This could also apply to signatures at the end of posts, if you stretch your imagination. I think we can safely say that when the writing stops in your post that you've finished...
C'mon people! FUCK! |
| #9 Sabotage[144589] |
| pool-68-160-205-235.ny325.east.verizon.net |
| Keanu this fanfic was awesome. Im supposed to hate fanfics AND wc3, but you seriously kept me reading. great job. write next part now! |
| #10 firestone[144594] |
| pm3-43.tekdata.net |
| this is seriusly the best chapter so far i think it is great i like it alot. |
#11  [144618] |
| Toronto-ppp272531.sympatico.ca |
| Sexy . . . good writing Keanu, and I like the plot. Not sure what to rate this one . . . I'm gonna think about it a bit :) |
| #12 Slotham[144772] |
| euryale.its.adfa.edu.au |
| Keanu, I'm really enjoying your series and can't wait for the next one. Also looking forward to your battlereport. You have great writing skills and if you ever need a proofreader let me know. |
| #13 minijoebob[144821] |
| ool-18b97be8.dyn.optonline.net |
| i liked your game reports better but very gj anyway |
| #14 el_sux0r[144948] |
| pg2nt28.wam.umd.edu |
They didn't break out in ebonics, which was something of a mild disappointment.
"Brotha? Yo, this be wack, them trees all up and shit."
"Word." |
| #15 [145552] |
| wc01.wlfdle.rnc.net.cable.rogers.com |
oh my fucking fucking goodness. I just wrote a huge constructive criticism of this story and it fucking all got fucking deleted by the 1000 word character limit. I can't believe this. I really can't.
man.
Anyway to summarize that, your main problem is broken sentences and phrases that detract from the flow of your work. The writing itself is good, but I'll just look at the first paragraph and note how it could be improved.
"A great mist had descended upon the forest, coupled with the fire; it caused the forest to glow a dark red." Could be "A great fire and mist descended upon the forest, tinting all a dark red."
Man I cant write any more, my previous comment was 10x better. *sigh* oh well, I can always explain more on AIM :(. Talk to you there! |
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